"Oh, great and knowledgeable wingwoman, Chopin," Tommy spews, "How do I get pussy?"
So maybe Daiyu and Tommy's date wasn't what a normal date should look like. Despite the fact it's all a joke, Daiyu assumes it's not a normal occurrence when one member of the date is currently giving the other dating advice. Before, she said Tommy wasn't normal, but perhaps they're both just weird. She decides to give in to the bit, although it pains her the reason they're doing this bit in the first place.
Daiyu sighs, "Who's your favorite woman?"
"Who's my favorite woman??" Tommy questions, enthused. "Well, if I must say so-"
"If you say the goddamned Queen, I swear on my ancestors-"
Choking out a laugh, Tommy mocks, "But who else is better and more awesome than Queen Liz herself??"
"You failed my test. This is the first strike."
"WHAT?" He sounds shocked. Daiyu smirks. "Fuck off. Worst wingwoman ever."
"Okay, you want some real advice?"
"Yes, please."
"Step numero uno," Daiyu pauses for dramatic effect. "Get a bidet."
An enormous laugh escapes Tommy, as they both fall into a laughing fit.
"Why would I-how does getting a fucking bidet help me pick up girls!?"
"Hygiene goes a long way, man. Chicks dig that up," Daiyu explained.
Tommy laughs (cries?) into his palms and that gesture seems to sum up their entire date.
...
They film some more with Tommy's friends before they finish for good. The post-recording session is more chill but still just as fun. Daiyu gets to talk more with Wilbur, and she considers this day a win for her family. On the other hand, Tommy's pleased with the outcome of the footage, as he's especially giddy.
"Tommy, you're happier than usual," Wilbur points out, knowingly.
"I'm high on life," Tommy replied.
Wilbur hums at that. "Ohh, really?" Daiyu raises an eyebrow at his tone, or rather, his implication.
"Just gunna be a good video is all." Tommy shrugs it off. "What do you think, Daiyu?"
She thinks, attentively. "I thought everyone here was great, hilarious even." Smiling, she says, "It will make a great video."
"Cool."
...
joseph tore up a dress :/
LOL
L + RATIO
it was may's >:(
O-oh?
prepare to die bitch
NO IM SORRY!!
...opening my utensils drawer
YOU WOULDN'T DARE
Wait why the fuck am
I even scared?
I literally DESTROYED
you in minecraft
get over here so i can
scoop ur eyes out
These death threats
are getting out of hand
while we're on the topic of
minecraft, how's the video
coming along?
We never stick to one
topic but okay
At least one week
ONE WEEK???
Yeah??
My editor is basically
a one-man-team right
now because I'm busy
un-busy yourself
You're stupid
we're stupid 🤡
How the hell were
you even made?
A clown factory?
well you see...
when two people REALLY
wanna bang but HATE
protection...
STOP NONONONONO
but you asked how
i was made?
i'm confused
How about you start
un-living?
You asshole
while we're on the subject
of ass, how's the bidet
working for you?
Fuck off
I still hate myself for
thinking it'd be a good
idea to give you my new
address
hehe
so what, is it not working?
Sorry to inform you
but my toilet is ancient
as fuck. There's no way
that bidet is compatible
with it
Also I don't want water
shooting up my ass?? Is
that so wrong??
yes, it is
now no ladies for you
Get lost bitch
if i get lost will you send a search party for me?
No, that's literally
contrary to the whole
point of you getting lost
whyy
it can be titled "the great
chopin rescue" if you record it
Now you've got me
intrigued
But I'm thinking
"Finding Chopin so we
can bury her in a ditch"
who's we?
does that entail wilbur?
in that case, yes please :)
Throwing the bidet
out the window
don't defenestrate
the bidet >:(
I'll defenestrate you bitch
do it in a tall building
then we've got a deal 😫
You're idiocy and
weirdness is showing
once more...
...
can you make a chopin song?
like with your band
or whatever?
Why the fuck would
I do that?
because it's a tribute to ME??
Tommy already did that
well i want a song now
You're being a tad too
self-entitled here, don't
you think?
make me a song or i won't
let you visit joseph ii
Oh no, whatever will
I do?
Do you realize I can
simply fight for custody
in court? You've illegally
taken our child from me
so I'd likely win.
wilbah youre the most
infuriating person i've ever
had the displeasure of
co-parenting with and
i'm glad we divorced
You're making it hard
for me to want to make
this song
okay!! i'll let you see
joseph ii geez
On second thought, no.
fine you can HAVE him!
Your true colours are
starting to show, Chopin.
I'm beginning to think you
don't actually care about
Joseph
stfu that's my cat
you're talking about
I feel bad for Joseph II.
You're a terrible mother.
can't talk anymore
going to rage tweet
LMAOOO
...
Chopin @thatbitchchopin
wilbur is the worst person he's mean i hate him he stole my crayons he should d1e he carries no regard for our family nor the responsibility and i fucking despise him
> Tommy Innit @tommyinnit
Agreed Wilbur's a wanker but
what the fuck happened??
> Wilbur Soot @wilbursoot
Control your girlfriend
> Tubbo @tubbolive
I CALLED IT
> Tommy Innit @tommyinnit
SHE IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!! I
HATE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU
AND I LOVE ALL WOMEN EXCEPT
CHOPIN SHE'S WEIRD
> Chopin @thatbitchchopin
aww you don't have to be shy
tommy 🥺
>> user @rando123
OMG IS CHOMMY HAPPENING??
>>> lovely user @thishoe
don't ship them! tommy is a
minor!!
> Tommy Innit @tommyinnit
Actually fuck off
> Chopin @thatbitchchopin
<3
> May @thatbitchmay1
congrats my soulmate and *ahem*
rip off harry styles!
>> Tommy Innit @tommyinnit
Why are you here?
> Chopin @thatbitchchopin
MAY!!! thank you for the support
> May @thatbitchmay1
anything for you my dear
> Tommy Innit @tommyinnit
You're on the top of my list of most
disliked people I know
> Chopin @thatbitchchopin
you're so jealous it almost gives me
hope for our dead relationship
> Tommy Innit @tommyinnit
It's best we leave it that way
...
a/n: i'm trying something new with the twitter threads. hopefully the format wasn't too hard to read!!