The forest looks nearly the same as the last time I was here. Grass has grown over the spot where the explosions once were set off. I hate it. The reminder of the last time I was here makes my stomach churn. The circle of trees that leaves enough space for a face-off, like it was destined for those moments where we kill each other with no mercy.
"Everyone in position," Diego's voice comes from the earpiece. I step into the circle, looking around for anyone who might be visible. All around this place my men are hidden. Up in trees, by bushes, waiting for the moment in which we commence the final attack.
Tonight Santino Mussolini will die.
"Approved," I relay back. "I'm going offline now. All groups standby for the signal."
"Roger."
I walk back to my spot and remove the earpiece, letting it fall to the ground. My foot comes over to crush it and I kick a pile of dirt on top to hide the evidence. It's been three hours since sundown. Santino hasn't shown up, but he will.
The moon looks like a glowing pearl in the dark sky. I'm reminded of my father for some reason and a smile comes to my lips. Dad... Oh, he'd kill me if he knew what I was doing now.
How could I ever give you up, Dad?
How could I not offer my life for you, Nicolas, when being without you is worse than being dead?
I am the last pawn in my own game.
I left my family at the villa, guarded by a dozen men all ordered to die before letting anyone get to them. I wonder what they would do if they knew what I was going to do right now? A smile comes to my lips. They'd worry because they love me. Gosh, I love them with everything I have. They're one thing I would never allow anyone to hurt. Ever.
"Hey."
I tear my gaze away from the moon and focus on Veronica. Her blue eyes are the bluest thing in the world. They shine brighter than the moon when they're glassy with tears.
"We just...wait now."
I nod, turning back to stare at the open space in front of us. No one in front of us, behind us only Rayaan and Jonathan and the car we came in. Devina, despite my efforts to get her to stay, insisted on coming. Somewhere in the trees, she's hidden with my sister. My eyes unconsciously move to that spot. They're invisible.
"Hiding in the shadows, when we killed Donatello Lombardi—did you do it because he would recognize you?"
Veronica's breath hitches and silence hangs between us. I keep my eyes forward, watching the wind sway the branches back and forth. It's been twenty minutes since we got here.
"I'm sure he knew I was there," she answers, looking ahead as well. "I stayed hidden because...well, because I was afraid to face him. Of the guilt that would eat me up if I looked him in the face knowing what happened."
I gulp and it tastes bitter, like every time I have a conversation with Veronica since she confessed. "That makes sense. I would have done the same."
She snorts. "No, you wouldn't have."
No, I wouldn't.
"So, why are you here now? I gave you the option to stay behind. What makes you want to leave the shadows now? The fact that I know?"
"No. I'm just...tired. Sick. Exhausted. Lombardi died and carried that secret to the grave, but the entire time I wished he'd shout what I did and expose me. Anything to keep me from doing it myself. I look at myself in the mirror and can only laugh at how pathetic I am. It's just one more pathetic attempt at making up for what I did. Being here for him. Even if it's too late."
"You think it's too late?"
"Will you ever forgive me for what I did?"
I breathe out a laugh. "Honestly? I don't think I can not forgive you. I adore you, rat or not."
"Okay." Her voice clogs with emotion so she clears her throat before continuing. "Will you ever trust me again? Like you did before?"
The answer comes instantly. "No. Never."
"And Mateo and Gabriel are dead now because of me—"
"They are not. Their deaths are not on you. Don't reduce their lives to revolve around your mistakes."
"Right," she swallows. "Then they're dead and what I gave up helped in that."
"It probably did."
"So, yeah, I think it's too late. Nothing will ever be like it used to be."
"Before wasn't exactly rainbows and sunshine."
"But we were all alive. That was enough."
"So what?" I turn to her. "You came to try and make up for letting your brother be taken and probably being a part in why it happened?"
The tears pool at her eyes. "A new level of pathetic even for me, right?"
"So much that it's pitiful."
Veronica scoffs, "asshole." She wipes a sleeve over her eyes, a grim smile stretching her mouth.
"Rat." I let my own grimace-smile show.
Lights shine on us like a spotlight. Veronica's tears glitter on her face as her eyes flick over to the cars approaching. She turns back to me, face fighting to stay stoic. "I know it's not ever enough, but I'm sorry."
"I know."
"They're here."
"I know."
"I'm scared."
I swallow back the lump. "Me, too."
Rayaan and Jonathan come up behind us. "I've got you," Jonathan reassures with a squeeze to my shoulder.
"Thank you."
Rayaan offers one curt nod and that's that. I turn my back to them and step further into the forest, stopping by the threshold between tree and open space.
There's three cars on Santino's side. The middle one opens a door and out comes the spawn himself. Sporting a smile as cruel as his father's, Santino stops in front of his car and leans against it.
"I'm sorry I'm late," he yells. "Traffic, you know."
I don't say a word.
"I see you brought reinforcements." My pulse stops. My whole body goes cold in an instant. "Trusting of you to only bring three. Well, two and a four-legged rodent."
Behind me Rayaan whispers in confusion. "What?"
Veronica holds back a whimper.
"Normally," I advance one small step, "exchanges are private matters. No more than a few trusted people."
His eyes, even from the distance, twinkle with amusement. "Oh, I'll bet.
I can't take it anymore. "Where is he?"
Santino laughs, like a claw tracing down my spine. "I suppose we can make this quick."
He snaps his fingers and immediately all his people get out of the cars. There aren't many of them. A little over a dozen, from the looks of it.
"Low-level members," Rayaan hisses at me. "Devina says he must be running out of men, because these are all low-ranking."
I don't let the good news show on my face. My focus stays on two of them who drag a man in between them. A bag over his head and hands tied behind his back. I bite my lip. Nicolas. My Nicolas.
A few feet ahead of Santino, the two men drop Nicolas on the ground. He lands on his knees, head almost hitting the ground before Santino grabs his shoulder to stop him. He rips the bag off his head with a grin on his face. Nicolas blinks various time, unable to adjust to the bright lights all around him. A gag is on his mouth. And so many bruises color his face and neck and arms.
"He's a little roughed up, but nothing a bath and some bed rest won't fix."
I ball my fists. "Send him over."
"You first, Lady Devil."
"That's not how it works."
Santino laughs. "Alright. Then at the same time. Step over there," he points to my left, "away from your guys. Wouldn't want you two trying something if you come too close, right?"
I do as he says, move over a few feet to my left, leaving enough space between me and the other that I couldn't reach them easily. "There."
"Thanks." Santino grabs Nicolas by the arm and hauls him up. I don't look at him in the eyes. I can't bear the pleading look in them. Begging me to not do this.
I have to.
With a little kick to his ass, Santino sends Nicolas moving. I take a deep breath, nerves clawing at my skin, and begin moving forward.
Each step feels like walking deeper and deeper into quicksand. Guns are on standby, ready to kill us all if we move a step too fast or sway too much to the right. I can almost feel the eyes of my other men, watching me from their hideouts in the trees. For a fleeting, terrifying moment, I wonder if maybe Santino knows they're there.
I resist the urge to run and hug Nicolas. I keep walking straight ahead, sweat sliding down my face.
Halfway there, I give into the temptation of looking at the love of my life. At those brown eyes that I live, kill and die for. They meet mine at the same time, still begging me to not continue. I smile at him. I love you, I mouth and keep walking.
Santino stands only about forty feet away, watching me with a smile. Nicolas must be as close to being safe. I swallow every fear and keep going. Nothing matters more than him right now. Not even the terror that threatens to paralyze me right now.
What if—
No. No. Don't think. Please, Anastasia, don't think.
My fingers flex, my stiff legs walk ahead despite desperately not wanting to. I can do this. I will do this. I'm already so close. He's already so close.
Santino laughs as I come closer. Slow, amused laughter that quickly turns hysterical. His head falls back and his shoulders shake. Hands move to his—
No. No. No!
The cry stays stuck to my throat as Santino pulls out his gun with expert speed and removes the safety. I hear shuffling to my side but my attentions stays on Santino as he eyes me—still walking, caught in a trance. His finger rests on the trigger and he cocks his head at me. "No loose ends."
I flinch.
My body hits the ground, head slamming against the grass. Two bodies hold me down and drag me back as the shouting and bullets commence. Jessica and Devina flank me, crouching in a corner and hidden behind trees.
The cry finally comes out, ripping through my throat with a howl of pain that would have anyone thinking the bullet hit me. I lunge forward, but both girls hold me back, ushering me to stay hidden.
But how can I? How can I when he's lying there, motionless on the floor?
"Nicolas!" I shout, but the sound is drowned out by the bullets that begun to fly.
Signal be damned, every person I drafted into this fight comes out of hiding and begins firing at Santino's measly crew. He's very obviously caught off-guard and panics under the pressure.
"Veronica!"Jonathan's voice rips my attention off Nicolas' unmoving body. "No!"
He hesitates between going after her and staying behind the cover of the car door. I watch, overcome with horror and sorrow as she runs ahead, shouting her brother's name over and over until it swallows every other noise.
She jerks back. A bullet hits her shoulder. I find myself screaming her name to stop, but she doesn't. She continues to run and run. Right in the line of fire, bullet after bullet hits her body and blood drenches her clothes, but her body doesn't stop.
"Nick!" she shouts as a bullet hits her other thigh. With both legs injured, she drops to her knees, but even then, Veronica moves forward.
I've stopped fighting Devina and Jessica, my body convulsing with the force of my tears as Veronica crawls to her brother, tears of her own coating her face.
She doesn't make it. One arm stretches toward him, so, so still. Her lips move, uttering his name one last time before her body lumps to the ground. My lips tremble as I wait for her to get back up.
She doesn't. She doesn't.
I grab Jessica's earpiece from her and shove it in my ear. Every nerve in my body vibrates with fiery rage. "Kill them all," I shout. "Every fucking one or you all die!"
I have to—I have to get to them. My Nicolas. Vee. Wiping the tears from my eyes, I move forward, kicking back both Jessica and Devina as they try to keep me still. I turn to Devina, because she's the only who'll follow my orders. "Kill them."
Wide-eyed, she stares at me and then at the scene behind us. She nods and that's enough for me get to my feet and run.
So many bodies have dropped that there's less bullets in my way. Halfway there, I turn to crawling, managing to avoid the altitude of the line of fire. The tears keep coming and my arms and legs shake from every emotion that overtakes my body as I near Nicolas. Every beat of my heart weakens me more. When I reach his body, it's a miracle I don't cave in on myself.
There's a growing splotch of blood on his middle back, above his tied hands. I reach for the knife in my shoe and cut through the ropes, releasing him. My lips tremble as my hand comes to his wrist. Please. Please. To anyone who will listen. Please.
My breath releases and the onslaught of tears holds me hostage. Hope and relief floods me at the slow-but-there pulse. I grab his head, afraid to move him more than that. "Baby," I croak. "You'll be okay. I promise you'll be okay. Hang on, please, my love, hang on."
He doesn't move or respond, but there's a pulse. That's enough for me. He's alive. He's alive. He's alive.
And because the sorrow still clings to the walls of my mind, I let my eyes go to Veronica. Sorrow turns to grief and a sob racks through my entire body. Her blue, glittering eyes are open, still shining from the tears that haven't dried. But she doesn't move and the blood all around her leaves no room for hope within me.
My instincts spike as I see someone come closer. I wait until they're close enough to slash the knife at them. It cuts through air as the person jumps back. "Whoa, hey, it's me," Rayaan tells me. I sag, nodding.
"Is he...?"
I shake my head. "He has a pulse."
He stares at Nicolas, evident worry on his face, before looking over his shoulder. Jessica is crouched beside Veronica, hand on her throat. She looks at me, biting her lip, then at Rayaan. "No," is all she says to us.
I knew that, I tell myself, but it doesn't stop the sobs from coming out again. Tears blur my vision relentlessly. I try blinking them away, but they won't budge.
Vee. My eyes go to my best friend. My soul sister. Oh, Vee. How am I ever going to live without you?
"Come on," Rayaan rises to his feet. "He needs to go to a hospital. He doesn't have much time."
I nod, springing to action immediately. I take off my jacket and press it to the bleeding wound. Rayaan proceeds to take his off too. "Your brother and Dev are leading our remaining ones to finish off the killing," he tells me as he wraps his jacket around Nicolas' waist to apply pressure. "Mussolini got away, took a car with two other men and fled. The few of his men that remained should be easy to kill."
Again, I only nod. I hadn't even thought about it. Barely cared. But the reminder of Santino spurs a blood thirst so strong, I taste it on my tongue.
"We'll get him," Rayaan assures me. "But right now we need to take care of him."
"Jessica and I can carry him to the car. You can—" the words lodge in my throat. I take a moment to swallow the thick emotion and then continue. "You can take Veronica."
Sympathy reigns his features but he doesn't waste a single second. "Got it."
Nicolas is probably heavier than Jessica and I combined. More than two hundred pounds of pure muscle. That, however, doesn't deter either of us from carrying him to the car as carefully as we can. Rayaan helps us when we get there, making sure he is well secured in the backseat with his head on my lap.
"Where'd you put..." I trail off.
Rayaan looks stricken when he answers. "There's no room. I had to put her in the trunk."
"Oh," is all I say.
We ride in silence to the hospital. The closest one is twenty five minutes away. At Jessica's speed, we'll get there in twelve. I'm too shaken up to even think about asking them to hurry. I simply caress his hair and focus on not losing my shit to the nerves as we speed to the hospital.
"Let them know back home that security needs to be extra careful."
Rayaan meets my eyes through the rearview mirror. "I will."
I open my mouth to utter my thanks, but a groan beneath me steals all my attention. Nicolas tries to stir, but I keep him in place, petting his hair through his moans of distress. "Baby, we're almost there. Hang on, okay? We're gonna get you better. Just hang on."
Nicolas nods feebly, his hand reaching over to grasp my thigh. I hold it in mine.
"Vee," he begins to mumble. "She...was...hurt. They took us. Vee. Where...is Vee?"
Tears sting at my eyes once again and I tighten my hold on his hand. With a smile that feels like it'll split my face, I lie straight through my teeth.
"There was no space, baby. She's in the other car. She's fine. She's okay. You'll want to see her when you get up, right? So stay strong, my love. You'll see her at the hospital."
I hold my bottom lip between my teeth to muffle any cry. I can't worry him. Not right now. One hand of mine holds his while the other keeps pressure on his wound.
Please. To anyone listening. Please help me. Please.