First of all, this story will contain triggering topics (Sh, sh scars, anxiety, depression...) simply because it is a coping mechanism for me to write about it. So, of you easily feel triggered, please don't read it. If something like active sh is mentioned in the story, I will put a ⚠️tw⚠️, but I won't do it, if there's just the mention of old scars or stuff like that, because it's just something that's part of recovery. You can't just get rid of those scars and they are a part of the OC as well.
About the story: I have no bloody idea, where this will end and if I have enough ideas for it, but here you go.
💗Happy Valentine's Day:]💗
Enjoy reading:)
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It is true. You shouldn't trust anyone, with anything personal. People use everything they know, against you. That is just how people work, right?
I sighed and opened my profile again. Did I really not make any mistakes? Why wasn't this a success?
Suddenly, my phone vibrated and I picked it up.
There was a note to myself: 'Don't freak out. You just put your profile in this morning' I cringed at my own message.
Gosh, I just needed a new job. I hadn't worked as a nanny in years, yet it was the only thing people truly needed all the time. And I needed the money, same as the distraction.
Still stressed out, I left the laptop on my bed, whilst getting ready in the bathroom. As I brushed my teeth, I looked at the reflection inside the mirror and disappointment creeped into my mind. It went like that, basically every time. I hated it. Every time I looked into the mirror, I saw someone else. That was not me. Now, it is the exact same. How is something like that even possible?
I spit the toothpaste into the sink, cleaned my mouth and brushed my hair. A sound of a new message reached my ears. My eyes grew big in disbelief. I dropped the brush into the sink and walked -no, I ran- into my bedroom. Inside, I hit my little toe on the edge of my bed, making me squeal out in pain. I hold my right foot in pain, hissed, yet I jumped onto my bed and my eyes glued themselves onto the screen.
I couldn't believe this. Someone sent me an email, asking me for an interview-
Hello Miss Staple,
I read your application for your occupation as a nanny and I was rather impressed, by your qualities (and your choice of words). However, it is quite sudden, that I am in the need of a new nanny, for my kids (plural). I read in your ad, you don't mind to take care of more than one at the same time? Please, correct me, if I'm wrong.
I would appreciate it, to get to know you better. Perhaps we could meet up in the early future?
Have a good night.
Sincerely, Ms B.
My jaw dropped. I forced myself to blink a few times, ensuring I was not dreaming this. And I actually wasn't dreaming. For the next few seconds I re-read the email over and over again.
When I calmed down a little, I replied.
Dear Ms B.,
I am, first of all, incredibly thankful for your email and thank you for the compliment. I truly did not expect anyone to reply so soon!
No, you're on the right path. I did write, I can take care of more than one child and it is no issue at all.
It would be a pleasure to meet you! How early are we talking?
Have a good night.
Sincerely, Veronica Staple
I quickly pressed send and stared at her email again. Ms B. What would that mysterious woman look like? Brunette? Blonde? Perhaps something colorful?
I shook my head. "Nope, I won't make myself crazy any further." I mumbled, closed my laptop and placed it on my desk.
For the following minutes, I brought some of my empty mugs and plates into the kitchen, before finally getting back under my covers. And with circling thoughts, I glared up to the ceiling. Oh this wasn't going to turn into a peaceful nor restful night...
The next morning, my alarm rang at half past eight. With heavy steps, I pulled myself, somehow, into the kitchen, where I prepared some coffee. With my steaming mug in hand, I walked into the living room and prepared my space to work a little. I grabbed my paperwork, laptop and just everything I could possibly need. For some background noises, I had turned on the tv, but honestly that never really works out. I tell myself every time, I will be productive, but seriously... I always am getting distracted. Whatsoever, I still prefer the tv, over music mostly. Music makes me think and it makes me emotional as well. Now that's not helpful while writing at times to say the least.
I opened my laptop and logged into my account. As my eyes fall upon the new email I had received, I remembered how excited and anxious I actually was last night. So, I quickly clicked onto the new email and read it.
Dear Miss Staple,
Thanks for your reply. I am utterly glad I was correct because you seem like a nice woman, whom I can imagine taking care of my children.
It will probably be too quick for you, but what do you think about 01:00 p.m., today?
All best, Ms B.
I smiled at my screen, whilst reading that first paragraph. Yet, I exhaled deeply, when I read the time she wanted to meet up. She truly wanted to meet me today?! That was incredibly early, but honestly it would be great.
Good morning Ms B,
I'm glad to hear, I might be the right choice for you.
Honestly, it would be perfect. I'm free. Would you send me your address? Some don't feel safe to do so, so we could just meet up in a cafe? Or maybe a park? You could bring your kids and I would have an opportunity to meet them as well.
Sincerely, Veronica Staple
It took about half an hour, for Ms B. to reply, but it was worth it. Ms B. mentioned, it wasn't an issue for her, to share her address, so we will meet at hers. Now, that meant I would have to take a shower and get all my folders and just anything together, she might wanna see about me. When I glanced at my phone, my heart almost stopped. I had about two hours to get ready and to find all my things, before I had to leave. It would be a disaster to be late!
...
Phone, keys, folders... gosh, did I forget anything?!
Breathe. I reminded myself, but I was way too nervous. So, I just grabbed all those things and got into my car. I placed the papers on my passenger's seat, grabbed my phone, searched up the address and started driving.
I put on some playlist. It was one thing to not listen to my music while working, but a whole other to not do it while driving. In all honesty, it is the best thing to listen to older songs, whilst driving. Music in general was a godsend when it came to distraction.
It was a thirty minute drive, no biggy, yet the closer I came to the location, the bigger my anxiety became. Why was I always so anxious?
I waited for a good moment in the car, before I entered the huge property. On my way towards the house, I passed the gate. A name tag read 'Blanchett'. So, Ms B. has to stand for Blanchett... Or that's what I assumed, at least. My eyes grew wide, at the sight in front of me. The house was huge, just as the property and it was stunning looking. The path was just gravel, which scrunched with every step I took. A grounding sensation for both my feet and ears.
My stomach twisted. I was incredibly nervous. What if I do something wrong? I clung onto my bag. I was good twenty meters away, when I noticed the front door stood open. At the stairs, I caught a bucked of something, just standing there. Okay?
"Ignatius! I've told you and your siblings a million times, to not bring any earthworms into this house!" A woman yelled from inside the building.
I stepped closer and took the first steps up the stairs. A boy, probably around the age of ten, stepped outside the front door. His eyes shot up and glared into my face.
"Who are you?" He asked and grabbed the bucket.
"Veronica." I smiled. "I'm here to meet your mom."
"She's upset." The boy stated dryly and walked past me, with the bucked in his hands. I glimpsed into it and caught a bunch of earthworms in it. A grin painted over my face and I walked up to the front door, which was still widely open. My knuckles hit the door three times.
"Hello, it's me." I called out and added quickly. "Veronica Staple?"
A way softer voice reached me. "Jesus, you're early!" The woman laughed. "Come in, you can leave your shoes on!"
Carefully, I entered the house. Steps echoed through the entrance hall, but those weren't just mine. Opposite to the front door were stairs and right to their left a door. To the right was an arched doorway, which exposed a big room behind it.
"I'm in the kitchen! Just take some steps inside. On the right side of the stairs." Ms Blanchett called out in a softer way.
And I did as she said and there was another doorway. My eyes fell immediately onto blonde shoulder length locks. The woman had turned her back onto me, but not for long. As she turned around, I swallowed hard. I couldn't quite tell, if my mind was playing games on me. However, after I blinked a few times, to ensure in whose house I was, I smiled softly.
"Hi, Ms B." Was all I could bring out.
The woman opposite of me laughed. "Call me Cate. Nice to meet you." She approached me and held out her hand. I didn't hesitate to shake it. She owns quite a gentle hand.
"Veronica." I smiled.
"A beautiful name." She said in a lower voice. "Please, can I offer you something? A tea or coffee?" I shook my head.
"No, thanks." I declined her offer.
"We get to business right way, huh?" Cate smiled. "Well, follow me." I did and the woman lead me into the attached living room, which was huge. All those colors... All are kept so warm and clean, it's oddly comforting in here. "I really, don't want to frighten you, but I have to tell you right away. I do have four children, but my eldest is in boarding school."
Four... well three, how hard could that be? I only ever took care of two kids at the same, but it would be interesting to find out what I might be capable of, right?
"You don't seem frightened at all?" Cate rose her brows in surprise, as she sat down on the couch.
"Well, I have to admit, that I never did that before, but of course I would like to try it." The woman pointed at one of the armchairs close by and I took a seat.
"What do you think about kids playing video games?" She chuckled. "Sorry, some basic questions have to be."
I grinned. "Don't worry, I totally understand. Uhm.. well, if the kids are done with their homework or their duties they can, of course, play video games. Yet, I don't think they should play it all day long." A chuckle left my lips. "In general, I think, if they are not playing only video games, but go outside some times or if they know what else to do with their life, it's totally okay. But of course, I would do whatever you prefer, as their mom." Cate smiled.
"I wasn't sure, if there was such thing as a perfect answer, but you nailed it." She joked, making me laugh as well. "No, but I like the way you're thinking. The balance." I nodded. "It's just like your choice of words for your application." The blonde chuckled.
"Really? I still don't know, how the hell I managed to make it this impressive." I bite my inner cheek.
"You know, I think, it's that honesty behind your words." Cate explained.
"I haven't quite thought about it, but yes, I mean I try to be as honest as possible."
"I like that." She grinned and so did I.
All of a sudden, a little girl walked into the living room. She looked, as if she just had woken up. A stuffed animal, was in her hand and when she noticed I saw her, she lowered her head. Her blonde curls bounced a little.
"Hi, baby." Cate's voice changed, as if she talked to a puppy. The woman stroke her daughter's hair gently, as she picked her up. "Did you sleep well?" The girl buried her head in her mom's chest.
"Roman woke me." Cate exhaled, slightly annoyed. "He played his music too loud."
"I'm really sorry, sweetie." The blonde caressed her daughter's back tenderly.
"It's okay, mommy." She mumbled.
"No, it isn't Edith. I have told your brothers for a thousand times, they should be quiet, when you take your nap." Cate said and kissed the top of Edith's head.
I couldn't help the smile that formed on my face, at the sight of that scene in front of me. I missed this, even though I never really had it.
We continued our chat, whilst Edith remained on Cate's lap. I was asked a little more about, how long I was doing my job, if I can really imagine taking care of her kids, how many kids I had taken care of before and basically we just went through my application again. I explained a few things further and that's just how we spent the next few moments. Later on, I was basically employed.
It was such a calm mood in here and even Edith turned around on her mom's lap, to face me.
Her blue eyes stared practically into my soul. It was cute to watch the little girl analyzing me, with her critical gaze. She leaned closer to Cate's ear and attempted to whisper.
"Will she live here now, like Anna?" The blonde tensed for a brief second at the mention.
Anna had to be the old nanny.
Cate twitched her gaze immediately towards me again. "Right... our old nanny, lived with us. Simply, because it was way easier to manage everything, well and she lived like an hour away, which meant she couldn't come over, if I had to leave because of an emergency."
I nodded slowly. "Which means, I would...?"
The blonde woman nodded. "You would be living here, but of course this isn't a decision to just easily make. And-"
"I'll do it." I replied and surprised not only Cate with my answer, but myself as well. The woman opposite of me rose her brows.
"Really? You don't have to, if you don't want to."
"... but I do."
Two boys ran right through the living room, catching one another. One of them was the boy I had met at the front door. Ignatius, if I remember it correctly.
"Boys!" Cate spoke strictly and both of them stopped immediately. "Sit." Both her sons pushed one another slightly, until they sat down. "This is Veronica and she's-"
"Is she our new nanny? I liked Anna. Why isn't she here anymore?" The other boy asked.
"Roman, if you would have let me speak, I would have told you." Cate rose one of her brows in a lecturing manner.
"Sorry, mom..." He mumbled.
"As I was saying, Veronica is our new nanny and Anna... moved away." It was almost, as if that name was poison to her.
"She looks nothing like Anna. Is she really a nanny?" Ignatius whispered towards his brother.
"I'm like Nanny McPhee." I whispered and both their mouths dropped open. Roman and Ignatius looked towards their mom, basically asking with their gazes, if I was telling the truth.
"Don't look at me like that, boys." Cate's lips formed a slim smile.
"But, Nanny McPhee is ugly in the beginning." Ignatius said.
"Yeah! And with every lesson the kids learn, she becomes prettier." Roman added. "You are not Nanny McPhee!"
"Why can't I be Nanny McPhee?" I cocked a brow. "Don't you think, she can change her appearance?"
None of the kids said anything, for a moment. They were too stunned to speak, as it seemed. Yet, not for long.
"Can we go outside???" Ignatius asked with a bright and hopeful smile on his face. His brother joined in.
"Yes, please mom!" Cate nodded and her sons jumped up in the air and they just ran outside.
"Your shoes!" She yelled and Roman and Ignatius turned around, ran back into the hallway and back they came with shoes on. "No earthworms come into this house!" Cate reminds them again, but if any of the boys heard that is quite questionable.
"Mommy, can I have a tea?" Edith asked.
"Of course, baby. Should we make some tea for everyone?"
"Yes! Can I help?" Cate nodded.
"Would you join us? We could wrap all the paperwork up, later on." I agreed and followed both of them into the kitchen. Cate and Edith prepared the tea, within a few minutes. The blonde woman handed her daughter a cup of cooled down tea and Edith made her way into the living room again.
"She's adorable. They all are." I smiled and Cate laughed.
"They are, but it becomes exhausting, to be on your own with them, at times." She sighed. "Can't I really offer you anything?" I shook my head.
"No, I'm fine, thanks-" I smiled and suddenly my stomach growled. I remembered that I, in fact, hadn't eaten anything today, but at least I finished my coffee.
Cate cocked an eyebrow. "That didn't quite sound like you're fine."
I sighed. "I was just really nervous, all morning long" A chuckle left my lips. "and I couldn't have eaten anything, or I had thrown up again." I frowned slightly.
"Oh sweetheart!" Cate spoke with knitted brows, whilst approaching me. "There was no need for you to be nervous." She stroke my upper arms, which sort of managed to calm me. "Are you still feeling nervous?" I shook my head.
"No, my nervousness was like washed out, the second I stepped into the house." A weak smile formed on my lips.
"C'mon, drink a cup of tea." Cate poured me a cup and handed it over. There was no way I could have declined that, since she just placed it in my hand. "Do you have any allergies?"
I scrunched my nose. "Well," I laughed. "I do, but not to food. At least, as far as I know."
Cate's face seemed puzzled and curious. "Drop it."
"I am just a sneezing and crying mess, in the next few months." I laughed.
"Oh no." She frowned. "Can't you take pills or anything?"
"No, no, I do. I take pills, but they make me sleepy. So, I try to avoid taking them, but I mostly cannot get around that." I smiled and sipped the tea. "This is good."
"Mint tea is calming. The boys need it." Cate laughed. "They will grab themselves a cup. Shall we go upstairs and finish the paperwork?"
"Sounds like a plan." Wasn't it strange, how at ease I was around them?
There was something about this house, that assured me of safety. The smell was immensely aromatic and soothing. It hold a touch of vanilla and coffee, but something rather fresh was in there as well. A flower-ish scent. Daisies, perhaps?
"Veronica?"
"Mhm?" I placed the mug on the counter.
Cate shook her head slightly and she placed her hand on my lower back, "C'mon, let's get to business." She chuckled and lead me into the entrance hall, where we used the stairs.
We walked up to the third floor. What a workout.
Right when we reached the top of the stairs we walked into the room to our right. It was an office like room. A desk, bookshelf and a couch filled the space. Once more, here are just those warm and clean tones used. Warm sunlight enlightens the room beautifully.
"I know the agreement will be a lot, however you should take your time reading it." Cate spoke, whilst fiddling with papers in her hands. "There you go." She handed me the stack and I took it. "You can just take a seat on the couch or on the chair." The blonde smiled.
"Alright." When I sat down on the couch, I began reading through the papers. There were just so many things in there. For instance, that I wasn't allowed to post about me being their nanny and just the whole privacy thing. There was one phrase in particular that had caught my attention. "I am not allowed to enter a romantic relationship with anyone in this household?" I frowned a little.
"The old nanny, didn't quite considered that part for necessarily." Cate replied blankly and there were hints of disappointment and anger in her voice. I was right about Anna, being poison to her tongue.
I just nodded slowly, not wanting to force her to continue. That was none of my business. It took me a few minutes to finish up reading everything.
I parted my lips ready to ask for a pen, when Cate was already by my side, holding a pen out for me. "Thanks." I smiled and took it.
"So, you have to sign here, here, here and..." She rustled with the papers. Her fingers pointing to each line I had to put my signature. "Here." I signed all the papers. Afterwards, Cate took them and placed them in the drawer on her desk. She clapped her hands together. "How does it feel to be our new nanny?" The blonde laughed.
"Extraordinary." I exaggerated smilingly, which made the other woman roll her eyes.
"Ha-ha, you're a funny one, huh?"
"Always." I smirked.
Cate motioned for me to follow her. "Well, now that you'll live here soon, I thought I'd show you your room." I smiled and followed her right across the floor, to one of the doors. She turned the doorknob and the door smoothly opened. Revealed was a clean and warm looking room. "Please." Cate waved me inside.
It truly was beautiful. There was a queen sized bed in one of the corners, a nightstand right next to it and the room looked just as if no one had ever slept in it before. As I looked around, I heard something being said, yet I couldn't figure out what. I was just so busy admiring the room. Suddenly, a hand placed itself on my lower back, kicking me out of my state of mind. I twitched my head aside, looking straight into the face of Cate, who had an amused smile on her face.
"Sorry, what did you say?" I asked and blushed slightly.
"No need to be embarrassed." Cate whispered, her breath hitting my shoulder. "I asked if you like it, but I think your reaction was pretty clear." She chuckled and her reply made me blush a little more.
I hated it, to seem like I was dreaming, even though I am catching myself daydreaming a lot.
"Oh, sweetheart, I didn't mean to leave you speechless." Her hand remained on my back, which was in one way oddly comforting and in another it made me nervous.
Cate flashed a toothy smile, which made wrinkles appear on the outer corners of her eyes and dimples on each side of her cheek. "You're adorable. C'mon, we shouldn't let the kids do whatever they do on their own. They are for sure doing shit."
On our way down we didn't hear them, which was never a good sign.
"Why-" I started and we reached the living room again where we both caught Edith sitting on the couch, roaming through my bag.
"Edith!" Cate called out, as we approached the girl. She didn't try to hide what she did, but she rose her gaze anyway. "That's not your stuff." Cate lectured and picked up her daughter. "You cannot just take stuff, that isn't yours! What do we do now?"
I hold back my chuckle and began to pack my papers and the rest back into my bag.
"I'm sorry..." Edith mumbled, whilst sitting on the hip of her mother.
"It's alright." I smiled. "Did you find anything good in there?"
The little girl shook her head and blushed in embarrassment. "I'm hungry."
"Why don't you help me to prepare some dinner?" Cate suggested and Edith smiled joyfully. Then the woman looked at me. "Would you like to join us for dinner?"
I gasped quietly, as I parted my lips. "I really don't want to be a burden, miss Blanch-"
"Cate." She corrected me.
"Right." I shook my head. "Cate. I don't want to be a burden."
"Oh, please." The blonde woman frowned. "You're everything but a burden. Apart form that you haven't eaten, yet." She cocked a brow, which made me tap my fingers nervously. I caught a glimpse at my phone.
05:45 p.m., it read.
But I didn't quite feel hungry...
"I don't wanna hear anything about you not being hungry. C'mon, let's make dinner." Cate sang and walked with her daughter into the kitchen. Still, I stood next to the couch. "Vera?" My heart jumped at the nickname.
I hadn't heard that name in ages.
"Sweetheart, are you coming?" Cate called out for me again.
"Yeah.." I whispered, but repeated myself louder. "Yeah!"
As I walked into the kitchen, I saw Edith sitting on the kitchen island, her legs hanging down. "Mommy, can I have a piece of apple?"
"Of course, baby. There you go." Cate handed the girl one slice and she continued cutting the fruit.
"How can I help?" I asked and leaned onto the kitchen island, next to Edith, who smiled at me.
"Would you take five plates out of that cupboard, up there?" I walked up to the cupboard she pointed at and grabbed the plates.
I placed them on the counter in front of me and began to search for some cutlery in the drawers. Already at the second guess, I opened the right one. I pulled out four usual butter knives and one, on which a name was engraved. It was Edith's. "Do we need anything else? Forks? Spoons?"
"Nope." Edith replied with a bright smile.
"Alright, little miss Edith, what else do we need for dinner?" I scrunched my nose, which made the girl squeal.
"Bread and the toppings, like sausage aaaaand..."
"Cream cheese?" I suggested.
"Yes!" Edith gasped surprised. "You're better than Anna! Mommy, she's amazing!"
Cate snickered and glared up, shooting me a soft smile, before looking at her daughter. "Baby, would you place the plates on the table?"
The girl looked over to me, basically asking if I could help her down onto the ground. So, I picked Edith up and placed her on the ground. I handed her the plates.
"Thanks." She smiled and waddled outside the kitchen.
Cate looked up. "She likes you."
A grin painted onto my lips, as I grabbed the things out of the fridge. "I'm glad. I was afraid she might not."
"Please, you must be kidding!" She gasped, not believing it. The woman continued cutting some pieces of bread.
"Well, no. I am always worried people don't like me." I said quietly.
Cate placed the knife on the cutting board and looked at me. "Let me make one thing clear." She took a deep breath. "You are, in all honesty, such a sweet person. Edith adores you and the boys will love you as well. You truly shouldn't worry so much about whether you please someone or not... Can I call you Vera? Sorry, I never asked you." She smiled politely and somehow it felt just so truthful and heartwarming, to be asked about my nickname.
"Yes." I smiled thankfully. "Don't worry, usually no one bothers to ask anyway."
The blonde knitted her brows. "That's not how it should be."
"Mommyyyy?" Edith called out again.
"Yeees?" Cate sang in the same tone as her daughter, making me chuckle.
The girl walked into the kitchen. "Can we call Dashiell before we go to bed?"
"Baby, he is studying for a big test tonight, remember?" Cate said and continued the preparations.
Edith sighed disappointed and wrapped her arms around Cate's legs. "I forgot." The blonde woman stroke her daughters golden curls.
"But he'll be home on the weekend, when your dad picks you up."
"Is it dad's weekend?" Edith asked and there was something off about the way she spoke. Cate only nodded in reply.
Suddenly, the warm and comforting mood was gone.
"Go get your brothers." The woman told her daughter and Edith ran off.
Cate turned around, her back facing me. "Cate, are you alright?" My voice came out barely a whisper.
The woman didn't reply. An uncomfortable feeling spread inside of me. Suddenly, I heard steps approaching.
"Mommy?" Edith came back into the kitchen. Cate quickly acted as if she was still cutting the bread. "Iggy and Roman are on their seats."
"Did they wash their hands?" I asked, instead of Cate, who obviously was fighting something.
"No."
"Well, then let's get everything settled, shall we?" I smiled and Edith mirrored it. She grabbed my hand and we made our way into the living room.
"Boys. Bathroom. Now." I said and they knew immediately what I meant. Roman and Ignatius jumped up and ran into two rooms in the entrance hall.
"We can go upstairs-" Edith was interrupted, when both her brothers ran outside the bathrooms again.
"Roman, Ignatius?" They stopped running. "Would you help your mom?" They turned into the kitchen.
"Or we use one of those now." Edith chuckled and we went into one of the bathrooms.
She used a footstool to reach the sink, as she moistured her hands. I squeezed soap into her hand palms, to which she replied with a sweet 'thank you'.
Quickly, we both were done washing our hands. Smiling, Edith looked up to me, as she stepped onto the floor.
"What is it?" I asked laughingly and scrunched my nose. The girl squealed in amusement and flashed a toothy smile.
"Mommy likes you." I knitted my brows in adoration.
"You think so?" I smirked and Edith nodded convinced, before she decided the conversation was over.
The girl reached for my hand and her tiny fingers hold three of mine, as we walked into the living room. Roman, Ignatius and Cate sat in their chairs, at the dining table. The boys were busy talking to one another, as for Cate... her eyes met mine and a smile formed on her full lips. Wrinkles appeared next to her eyes and dimples on each her cheek. Her white teeth were flashed. It was so much better to see her like that. Her ex–husband has to be a sensitive topic, still.
Edith loosened her fingers around mine and walked up to the kids chair next to her mom, in which Cate helped her into.
Within the next few minutes everything was settled. Everyone was eating and drinking warm tea. It was strangely comforting. What was it about this house?
"Thank you." Cate, said softly, as her kids were busy talking and eating.
"There's nothing to thank me for." I smiled.
"Oh, there surely is a ton."