Harry's POV
It was out there now, my future for everyone to judge and give their opinion on.
I wasn't reading the comments, and I wasn't letting Jen read them either. Quite frankly I didn't care what anyone thought, and if it were entirely my decision I wouldn't even have announced it.
I was bracing myself for the backlash and media frenzy I just caused, but as much as I wished I didn't care what people thought, deep down I knew I did. I knew Jen cared too, much more than she should of.
"Harry! Jen!" I heard Gemma and Sam call out, followed by them thumping down the stairs.
"Oh god," Jen laughed when she saw them running towards us, with their phones in their hand.
"What is this?" Gemma held her phone out to us, showing the instagram post.
"We just thought it was time to announce it, especially with those photos coming out," I explained. "We wanted to be the ones to confirm it, I don't want the f*cking media calling the shots and talking about my baby like they have any right, and making up assumptions.
This way we announced it our way, and people can stop trying to break stories to the press about it. It's out there, people can say what they want, I'm not going to hide my happiness over it anymore."
My house phone began to ring, and I mentally cursed that it had already started. Someone would be calling to tell me what an idiot I was for announcing it, or yelling at me for not telling them Jen was pregnant. I couldn't be bothered with it.
"Jen can you get it? And just tell them I'm in the shower," I asked her, and she agreed without hesitation.
"The comments are actually quite positive," Gemma told me, reading off a few of them.
Majority of the fans were confused by the post- some just typed a bunch of random letters capitalised, others just saying the word what, and some more clever simply just congratulating both Jen and I.
"Someone said yay you and Louis are finally having a baby!" Gemma rolled her eyes and sighed.
"I'm so bored with that stuff," most of those kind of comments were just juvenile and annoying, and I tended to ignore them because they didn't even deserve a second thought. As long as they stayed harmless, and didn't personally attack Jen or our baby, I didn't care what they said.
"Who was it?" I asked Jen as she hung up the phone.
She didn't respond, all she did was give me a filthy look with her arms folded, and walked out of the kitchen.
"What have you done now?" Gemma slapped me across the arm and I flinched.
"Ow! How the hell am I meant to know? You saw what just happened, she got off the phone and she was pissed. I don't know who rang? Or what they would have said to piss her off!" I defended myself, and I was very confused as to what the hell I did now.
I walked over to the phone to check who called, and I punched the number into my iPhone to check who it was.
"F*ck," I mumbled when I saw who had called, and what they would have potentially said.
"Who was it?" Gemma asked.
"The mechanic who worked on my bike. Jen told me to get rid of it, but he was probably calling to remind me to pick it up. He called Willow a couple days ago to tell me it was ready, but I've been busy. I was going to get it when she left."
She was going to kill me, she was very adamant about me getting rid of the thing. I didn't know why she hated them so much, she wouldn't really talk about it with me.
"Has she told you why she doesn't like motorcycles?" Sam spoke up, and if anyone knew the reasoning behind it, it would be her.
"No, she just said she doesn't like them and doesn't want me riding one."
"She doesn't really like to talk about it, she hasn't mentioned him in years. Her knowing you had one probably just re opened old wounds," she half explained Jen's reasoning for her hatred.
"He?" I questioned.
"Our uncle Paul, my mum's younger brother. He died in a motorcycle accident when I was twelve. Jen would have been about sixteen or something when it happened. Her and uncle Paul were extremely close because they were only ten years apart in age.
They would go out together all the time. If he needed to go somewhere, she would be his first option. They were pretty inseparable, she was the closest to him out of all of my family. She took his death the worst, we haven't really lost anyone else yet touch wood, but seeing my sister during that time, I hope to God I never have to see her like that again.
I guess that's why she doesn't want you having a motorbike, because she thinks what happened to him could happen to you, and she doesn't want to lose someone else to a motorcycle accident."
It all made sense now, and my heart broke that I had no idea about any of this. I knew a lot about Jen's family, and about her past, but never this. I guess uncles and aunties never really came up in conversation.
"Shit, I've really messed up this time haven't I," I sighed, my heart breaking more and more for Jen, now knowing just how much I would have hurt her by going against her.
"You weren't to know! I mean a lot of girlfriends tell their boyfriends to get rid of their bikes, it's just a girlfriend thing to do. Just talk to her, but tread lightly. Whenever we mention him she kind of shuts down or attacks us," Sam warned me.
"Okay, thank-you for telling me Sam, and I'm sorry for your loss too," I hugged her.
"It's okay, it was a long time ago now I came to terms with it much easier than her. Good luck, if she starts throwing stuff at your head give me a shout, i'll stop her," she joked and I laughed at the idea of it.
I excused myself from the kitchen and made my way up the stairs, to my bedroom which I assumed she would be in. My assumptions were right, she was sitting on the bench along the window, looking out to the street.
The sun reflected off her tears as I got closer to her, and as much as it hurt to see her crying, I couldn't help but admire how beautiful she looked right now. The sun in her eyes and hair, her face was natural with no make up, she looked glowing. I guess this was what they were talking about with this whole pregnancy glow.
I took a seat beside her, taking her hand in mine reaching it up to my mouth. I held onto it, not intending to let it go unless she wanted me to. I didn't know how to approach this conversation, I didn't want to say the wrong thing and upset her further.
"Why did you lie to me?" She broke the silence, diverting her attention fully to me now.
"I didn't mean to lie to you, I just had my own reasons for wanting to keep it, but they seem so stupid now in comparison to the reasons why you wanted me to get rid of it."
She looked at me confused for a minute, trying to work out if I knew about her uncle or not I assumed.
"My reasons? You don't know the half of it! You probably just think I'm being over cautious or an annoying little girlfriend that doesn't want her boyfriend having a bike."
"Jen...I know," I gave her a knowing look, and her facial expression changed from crease lines filled with anger, to eyes filled with sadness again.
"You know what?"
I hesitated bringing it up, only because I didn't know if she wanted me to know yet, and I didn't want to upset her.
She was looking at me waiting for an answer, and I just decided to be honest, "I know about your uncle Paul, Sam just told me."
Her lip began to tremble again, and she bit down on it to mask her emotions as she looked back out the window.
"Why did she do that," she said as more of a statement than question.
"She just wanted me to understand why having a bike upset you so much. Baby you know you can talk to me about this stuff right? You can share your past with me and show me your emotions. You don't always have to be so strong," I pulled her into me, resting her head on my chest.
"I know, I just don't like to talk about that. No one in my family talks about him, no matter how much time passes it doesn't hurt any less. I guess I've just learnt to block it out. I haven't spoken about him since it happened."
"Tell me about him," I encouraged her. I didn't want to push, I'd understand if she didn't want to talk about him, but I still gave her the option to.
"He was like my best friend. We pretty much grew up together, because he was only ten years older than me. He was always over at my house playing with me.
We'd always go out together, you know like shopping and football games and stuff. As I got older I kind of pushed him away more and more because I was a bratty teen, I didn't want to be going out with my uncle on weekends anymore.
Sometimes he acted like he was my dad, and he would give me his opinion I didn't want to hear, he was hard on me and that made me resent him. So we butted heads a little bit all through my teen years.
Anyway we were kind of in a fight not on speaking terms when it happened. The roads were slippery apparently, and then he was gone. I felt so guilty for so long, I never got to tell him I was sorry or that I loved him.
My only goodbye was standing at the alter of his funeral, whispering to his lifeless body in the coffin.
I went into a depression, I didn't talk to anyone for weeks. I barely ate, every time I did I felt sick. I kind of pushed everyone away, I didn't mean to, I couldn't help it I just wanted to be left alone to deal with everything.
Eventually I came out of it on my own, and I came to terms with everything."
I just sat and listened to my girlfriends worst days. I never wanted to be the reason for her going through a pain like that again. I had to get rid of that bike for her. I wanted to protect her from anything bad ever happening, and if this was one thing I had to do then I would.
Her happiness and peace of mind meant way more to me than the thrill of being on a bike. I could get the same feeling driving around in my car, listening to music, going for a walk, even just being with her. It wasn't worth it to me.
"Consider the bike gone," I kissed the side of her head.
"You actually mean it? You're not just saying it because you feel sorry for me? That's why I don't tell people about it, I don't want them to pity me and just try to make me happy."
"Hey," I cupped her cheek, "I'm doing this because I love you, and you mean more to me than a stupid bike. I want to be there for you, and I want to see our child grow up!
I will do whatever it takes to be there for you both until it's my time to go. If I can prolong my life in any way, and avoid something happening, I will do it.
I love you so much Jenelle, more than my own heart can handle sometimes, so if I can do something to put your mind at ease and make you happy, you're damn right I will do it, no matter what I'm giving up."
She looked up at me and smiled, almost laughing at what I just said. "If this is the part where I'm meant to say, it's okay you can keep it, it's not happening."
"Well damn!" I laughed at her silly suggestion. Of course that's not what I expected, I wanted to give it away. "No, I mean it. I'm going to go into the shop tomorrow and sell it to them. They always told me if I need someone to take it off my hands they would do the honours, so I guess it's a late Easter present."
"You really would do anything to make me happy wouldn't you?"
"Well, almost anything. If you asked me to switch NFL teams I wouldn't do that sorry. I love you, but that's not happening," I joked and she laughed.
"You and these Parkers," she rolled her eyes.
"Packers!" I corrected her.
"Oh sorry, Packers! I really do love those little booties, they're adorable."
"Well when I get back down to Australia, we really do need to start buying stuff for the babies room, and we need to start painting and organising it and stuff. You're still okay with turning Bella's room into the nursery?"
Jen and I discussed turning Bella's old bedroom into the nursery for the baby. I wasn't comfortable with her living alone while I was gone, so we decided to put off buying a house together at least for the first few months of our babies life.
I felt comfortable with her living with Sam, and I knew Mason was looking into renting a place in the apartment block, so I was happy she had them.
Sometimes I thought life would just be easier if I did what Zayn did, and leave the group. I couldn't do that to the fans though, not when they did so much for me. Jen wouldn't want me to give up my career anyway, she was selfless like that.
"She signed her name off the lease, so good luck to her. She's not welcome back there, we should probably get it blessed though, to get rid of her evil vibes she probably left."
"You're so feisty, it kind of turns me on to be honest," I laughed at her fiery nature.
"I'm highly surprised you've put off sleeping with me for what's it been? Three days now?"
"I'm surprised too, you leave tomorrow so it looks like we have some time to make up for!"
She reached up and kissed me on the lips gently, getting up on her hands and knees so she could straddle me.
"I didn't mean now...we don't have to do this right now, we have all night. I know you're upset," I hesitated to take this further.
I didn't want to take advantage of her when she was feeling weak, I could put off not touching her like I wanted to for the rest of the night if that's what she wanted.
"I need you right now Harry, you know this means more to me than just the actual sex itself. You make me feel loved, and like you need me too. I want this, please."
"You're sure?" I asked one more time.
"Yeah," she nodded, and I let her have me.
I carried her over to the bed, and I removed my shirt from her back. I always loved when she wore my clothes, they looked amazing on her.
We kissed slowly, much more slow than our usual embrace. I loved this though, this was my favourite way to make love to her. Slowly and gently, like our first time.
She unbuttoned my shirt from last night, and I assisted her in removing the item of clothing.
She fumbled with my belt buckle, struggling to undo it like she normally did. I couldn't help but laugh to myself every time.
"Take them off," she broke the kiss, and I rolled off her do as she asked as quickly as I could, removing my briefs along with them.
"You happy now?" I climbed back on top of her, leaving a kiss to her lips before pushing myself down her body.
I kissed her gently down the centre, feeling her goosebumps rise to the surface of her soft skin. I love the way her body responded to me, it only encouraged me further.
Her breath trembled as my lips lingered just over the waistband of her pants. I looked up at her to see her eyes screwed shut, and her chest rising and falling a litter faster with every stroke of my nose across her lower stomach.
I loved watching her crave more, and usually I would continue to play and tease, but with every bite of her lip, I felt myself growing more and more ready for her.
I undressed her from the waist down, snaking my way back up her body to remove her bra, exposing her body to me fully.
Her chest had grown dramatically during her pregnancy, and she often flinched when I tried to touch them. She tried to hide it from me though, telling me it was fine, but her face told a different story when I made contact with them.
I think she just tried to make me happy, and let me do as I wanted with her body no matter how painful, but I never wanted to hurt her, so I avoided touching them like I used to pre pregnancy.
Her cheeks and under her eyes were still wet with tears from earlier, so I kissed her all over to collect the moister that lingered there.
"I wish I could kiss away all your tears baby, nothing breaks my heart more than seeing your cry, I hate when you're hurting," I stroked across her cheek with my thumb, just taking a moment to look into her eyes and truly appreciate this beautiful girl I was given.
"You can't protect me from everything Harry. Sometimes it's good to cry and hurt, it reminds us that we're human."
"I can try," I assured her, and she pulled me down to meet her lips again as I took my time making love to my purpose in the world.