It was her fake innocence that had me on a high. The way she looked up at me while I was inside her, that was something I took a mental picture of.
She was sound asleep, the sheets tangled between her legs and a icy breeze coming from the opened window.
I'd been with so many women before her, it's hard to keep count. But I've never been touched like that. I've never wanted a woman's hands on me as much as I fucking craved hers. It was unlike anything I'd ever experienced. I never thought I'd feel that way, or respond like that to something so basic. From her, though, it felt like the first hit of a drug. A high I never want to get over.
I was meeting Lo today, that fucker. I obviously didn't want to, but I needed to do it for her.
I kept the thoughts of last night in the back of my mind as I woke her up. Little religious, church-going girl like her screaming for God last night in my bed. It truly was a sight.
She groaned softly as I brushed her hair and stroked her cheek. God, she's fucking beautiful, and she's making me feel so many things by just looking at her right now. A lot changed last night, she'd given me a sacred part of herself, and I respected her so much. She was calm, she was responsive and certain.
"good morning" I said, and watched her dark brown eyes flutter open.
"it's Sunday, go back to sleep." she uttered.
"I'm meeting your brother today. Remember, how you forced me?"
She smiled. "I remember. I heard the doorbell just now, what happened?" she asked.
"they dropped off the papers for the Marriott group. I looked through it, I want you to check it as well okay?" I said.
She nodded. "I will. Is everything reopening today?"
"not everything. I'll be at the bar though, sorting out whatever has to be done then I'll see Lo in the afternoon."
"please be nice to him." she said, and took my hand in her freezing cold ones. Even though she was warmly under the sheets, her hands were cold as ice.
"I'll do my best. Will you be fine here on your own? I want to take you with but these men are fucking disgusting and I don't want them anywhere near you."
It was true, the men I worked with had fucking dirty eyes. I didn't want them anywhere near her.
"I'll pass. I have to sort out stuff for Alys shower, and her wedding. And her bachelorette" she said.
"hm, sounds boring. Promise me you'll call if you need me?"
"I promise. Go, and be careful. The roads will be dangerous" she said, and kissed my palm. Fucking love it when she does that.
"I'll text you. And don't spend too much money."
"aren't you going to work right now so I can spend as much as I want?"
I smiled. "shut up, you Kingston."
She laughed softly and I woke up to get ready.
As I made my way downstairs, I realized that she knew everything about me. She knew my worst secret, the one thing that ate at me almost every fucking day, and yet she never judged me. She accepted it, and she never made me feel like I did the wrong thing.
I felt some sort of comfort knowing that someone knew, and also loved me all the same. She had no idea how much she's changed me. All for the better.
I made my way to the bar, glancing at the clock. I never start my day after 12 usually, but today was an exception.
I can still feel her sex starved body underneath mine. I'd teach her everything she wanted to know. I bit my lip and thought of all the marks trailing her body.
I ran my hand over my shoulder and felt it burn with the marks her nails left. I smiled at the thought of her losing control like that. She was not the innocent principessa her father thought she was.
All the streets were quiet. Everyone must be with their families. It didn't matter that today was below freezing, I had to go to the cemetery. I walked towards Christian's headstone and pulled out a bottle of Chivas with two glasses. There was no way he was really in here, after the fire they said his remains weren't found but Moretti and I didn't care about that, what mattered was that we honoured our brother, and whether he was alive and kicking somewhere, he'd know how much we needed him. We put this headstone up to visit on days like today.
"It's been a couple years since I got the news you were gone, Chris. I still don't buy it. I wouldn't be surprised if you've been watching me all these years and keeping me out of trouble." I say into the air, taking a drink from my glass. "I was telling Kat the other night about how I met Vin, but I never got to tell her how I met you. Do you remember that night? My father just got shot in front of me, and you walked into that bar ready to protect me, not even knowing who I was. You pulled me out of there, checked that I wasn't hurt, said you'd cover for me if I needed it. You'd just gotten out of jail and you were ready to go back for some eighteen year old boy you just met. What was it you asked me? 'Are there always shootouts in New York on a Tuesday?'" I catch my breath, feeling the cold hit my eyes. I shut them for a second. "We spent the rest of that night finding the Capello's, you tracked down each one of them, told me about your time in prison, said you were looking into some families. But our relationship wasn't always business, was it? Somewhere between helping each other out and becoming each others first phone call, I think you became the brother I always wanted. I trusted you instantly. I never had anyone to protect me, Chris, no one ever looked out for me. That was until I met you." I feel my chest burn for some fucking reason. I clear my throat and look at the dark, gloomy sky.
I look down at his headstone one more time.
"I miss you. I know you'd love Katerina. I think all you ever wanted for Vin and I was to be normal, to fall in love and be better fathers than ours ever were. I'm going to do it for us. I cant wait to see you again and tell you all about it, Alvarez."
I blink away the burn in my eyes and set my glass down. When I left that cemetery, I felt lighter. I miss Christian, but he left me with all the knowledge I needed to run my empire, he taught me everything I knew and I helped him find his way through the underworld. I think all he ever wanted was to get rid of men like his father, and that's what got him killed. Christian isn't like Vin and I, he seeks justice. We seek revenge.
With a clear head, I made my way to the bar to see Lo. It was empty, only a few of my employees were present, waiting for me to arrive.
They were cleaning up, usually Sunday nights are quiet but the bar was closed for new years, and was only reopening today.
Papers needed signing and our liquor license was going to expire so I had to make some calls for that.
A while later, Lo had arrived.
I cleared my throat and grit my teeth.
I thought of the black haired girl with the porn star tits that was lying in my bed. She was my only reason for doing this.
"Lo, come please, sit." I said, and he shook my hand.
"bar is reopening tonight?" he asked.
"yeah. Finishing up the last bit of paperwork then we'll be good to go"
He nodded. "thought you would've had it opened yesterday, new years day and all would've brought in a lot of money." he spoke.
I was balls deep in his sister yesterday, there was no way I would've fucking passed that up for anything.
"yeah, Kat didn't want to go anywhere yesterday."
"hm, and how is she? My sister?" he asked, in a smug tone. God I wanted to knock him out so fucking badly.
But again, I thought of her last night.
"she's doing great actually. Adjusting well to the new house."
"yes,I'm sure she is. You just let her know if she needs anything, especially another place to stay, she can always come to me." he said, his voice sounding so fucking fake.
"and why would she need another place to stay? She has her own home now. I had my property transferred to her name before she moved in."
"that's a grand gesture Kingston, but that doesn't change the fact that she would want some space from you time and again."
I grit my teeth and my hand tightened around the glass. Obviously his wife would want space from him one day, but he's got no business talking about our relationship like he has a fucking clue.
"if necessary, of course I'll cater for my wife's needs. She is my responsibility now Carlos, you needn't worry."
He nodded.
"of course. You two will marry. I suppose that's why she would want us on good terms." he said.
"I'm only doing it for her. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't thinking about shooting you in the fucking head right now." I said, softly, yet still ensuring he heard me.
"that doesn't surprise me. And for the record, I am only agreeing to peace for her as well. You shot me, and you had no business to do so."
"get over it. I'll be civil with you, because once her and I marry, there'll be no place for you to fuck anything up. We all know the stupid fucking decisions you make."
"you're so certain you can protect her from all the danger in the world, that you haven't thought of the danger that is you, Axle Kingston." he said, and my blood began to boil.
"and what the fuck do you mean by that?" I asked, turning my body to face him but tucking my right clenched fist into my pocket.
He chuckled softly making me want to ram my fists into his skull.
"I know you. I know who you are. I know the things you've done to get your way. She doesn't know it, but when your past catches up to you, you'll drag her down with you." he said, with an expression I didn't even want to look at.
"you know nothing of my past, you've had your whole life fucking handed to you. Everything I've ever done was to survive. You wouldn't know a thing about that, and as for her, she knows everything I've ever done. So whatever you think you're doing here, you better think carefully. " I said, with the level of anger I had in my right now, it'd take bottles upon bottles to drown it out.
"hm. Very well. Leave your past aside, does she know who you are as a person? Surely I know Katerina gets distracted with all the glitters in life, and she'd be blinded by you and everything you have to offer. That also means she'd overlook everything you do to her. How you'd hurt her feelings, break her heart over and over again" he answered, in what felt like a fucking eternity. I traced his words and they settled heavily in my ears.
"you don't know what the fuck you're talking about Lo." I answered. I'll admit, whatever he was saying was resonating with me. And I fucking hated it.
"oh but I do. You self sabotage. It's just your nature. It's who you are. And then she'll be stuck with you, unhappy and living out the rest of her life waiting to die. You know deep down that you're not a person capable of loving someone, not with all the cracks in that thing you call a heart. You're broken, Axle. I know the things you've done in your past. And you don't deserve her."
I felt my chest heaving. He can't be right. He wasn't.
"I love her more than you'll ever know." I love her. I know I love her.
"No no, I'm certain that you do love my sister. Definitely, I see it. But I'm also certain that one day you'll stop. Maybe after you've had her."
And after those words all I saw, and felt, and heard, was blood. And then I struck him. It was brewing for too long in my chest. In my fists. My quivering hands broke his nose and shattered the glass in my other hand. I was rattled. Not one word of what he spoke was true, but it felt like it was. I'd lay my life down for her in a second, but am I everything she needs?
No, he got in my head.
"go fuck yourself Lo. You think you know a single thing about your sister and I? You're mistaken. Get the fuck out of here before you have to crawl out. Also, speak of her like that again, I'll take out your teeth and make you fucking swallow them." I said, and let go of his collar.
He spat the blood out of his mouth onto the counter and removed himself from my grasp.
I caught my breath as he left.
He got in my head. How could I let him get in my head? I'm not good for her. I never have been. But I had to have her or the Kingston in me would never have rested. And I knew I loved her. From the very beginning. From the first day. Then why was whatever he said playing over and over in my mind?
I drove home, every single word he said playing on repeat in my fucking head.
I lazed around most of the day. And then I got into the 137 page document delivered by the Marriott group.
They are a massive hotel chain conglomerate that Axle wanted to work with for a while but his friend Vincent told him not to do anything rash. He thought another hotel here, in New York would fare much better if it were closer to certain business districts. And this would make it better for companies requiring a business center or places for work trips. Axe ran the idea by me a while back and I advised him to go for it, but reading through the contract had changed my mind completely. It was not a good investment, and it was majorly risky. It was a good idea, but he needed the right person to partner with, like Moretti. Once I told Axe about everything, I thought about him working together with Vincent.
It was late, he wasn't home yet, but I figured things might have actually gone well with him and Lo tonight.
After making dinner for the both of us, I took a warm shower soothing all the aches I still held in my legs from last night. I smiled and looking in the mirror at all the marks on my neck and collarbone. I thought of how he kissed me on that exact spot this morning before he left, and how it made every part of my body catch alight.
As I heard the car pull in, I tidied up my hair, and walked to the door with a slight limp.
"hi" I said, brightly as he came in.
He gave me a forced smile. "hi, you alright?" he asked, in his regular, rough voice.
"yes, I'm fine. You? How did it go?" I asked.
"fine." he responded. The way he said it indicated he had no intention of furthering the conversation.
"well, how does the bar look?" I asked, and came up behind him as he sat at the bar area and poured himself a drink.
"everything looks good." he answered. Plainly.
"okay well, I read through the Marriott deal, and thank God I did. It's a bad idea Axe." I said, and he lifted his head.
"how is it a bad idea?" he asked, and looked at me as if I were speaking a foreign language.
"I mean, you know booking always fluctuate when it comes to hotels, anything can happen. And they want us to put the house up as collateral if bookings go down for more than a month. That doesn't make practical sense." I said, and he shook his head.
"it's a good investment Katerina, you don't understand." he said, in a clipped tone. As if I really didn't understand. But I did.
"I do understand. All I'm saying is that the investment is risky. And it's not worth it. The maximum profit it can get you is 3 million, tops. But that's less than what you make on your other endeavors."
"That's enough. Enough with trying to run my fucking business."
I furrowed my brows. As much as that was painful to hear from him, it was also incorrect.
"I'm not trying to run your business. I'm giving you advice, which you asked for might I add. Even your friend Vincent told you this was a bad idea."
And here we were, not even married, standing in the kitchen arguing.
"you think your mother does this to your father hm? Tells him who to invest with. Let me answer that for you, no she fucking doesn't. So don't think you're going to come here and tell me what to do."
I shut my eyes. I felt my blood raging.
"I swear to God, Axe, if you think I'm going to be a silent wife and not help you, you've got the wrong girl" I answered, feeling the pain coming from my chest.
"I want you to help me, but I don't want you to control me. If I'm going to do stupid shit, then leave me be. It's my fucking money and if I'm going to lose it then fine."
"your money? Are you serious? We're getting married. And this isn't about money- God knows you have enough of that to burn, but this is about our home. You know it's not just about you, you have to support me as well." I said, with my voice breaking along the way.
I was so caught up with him, with his tone, with his arrogance right now. I didn't realize that this was the first real fight we've ever had.
"you don't think I fucking know that? I know I have to fucking support you Katerina, I know I have to take care of you. But you need to understand that when it comes to things in business, I will do whatever I want to do. Whether it's a risk or not. Because that's what made me who I am today, taking risks. Being impulsive. " he said, yelling at me. Raising his voice at me. So I did it in return.
It was that in moment I felt my heart shatter.
"no, something happened to you tonight. Did Lo say something? Is this why you're acting like this?"
"as if your brother can have an impact on me. Fucking hell Katerina. You're ridiculous" he yelled, and scoffed.
"do you even hear the way you're speaking to me? I'm trying to help you make a good decision and you're just fighting with me. What is wrong with you?" I said, my voice raising and feeling like it'd give out any second because of all this yelling.
"I'm always the fucking problem. Don't you see what's happening? You're trying to control me. To control my decisions and we're not even fucking married yet. You think just because I listen to you now and again for business, I'll listen to you all the time? No. Sorry. The Marriott hotel is something I've wanted for a long time. " he said, and his tone got even worse. Even darker.
"I never said you're a problem Axe, all I'm trying to say is that it's a risky investment. It's not worth all the trouble, all the risk of losing the house. You're not listening to me, you just want to argue." I said, lowering my voice and trying a softer approach.
"God what part of what I've fucking said does not make sense to you? I know it's a risk, I know I can lose it all, and I don't give a fuck. That's the whole point of it. And if you're so concerned with the monetary aspect of it, you'd rather just take one of my properties across New York in your name, so you'd be secure. "he said.
I was wrong, this is the moment my heart broke. And I don't know how I'll ever put it back together.
"You think Im so desperate for your money? Don't forget the family I come from, I'm a Hayes. I don't need a goddamn cent from you. I care about you Axe, I'm worried about you, about you making a bad decision. Think very carefully what you want to say, because you won't ever be able to take it back. This person, this is not you." I said, feeling my top lip trembling.
"Jesus Christ, I'm not doing this with you Katerina. If you don't understand what I've been saying, then this is all a waste of time."
I nodded.
"if this is a glimpse into a married life with you, count me out."
He scoffed. "are you threatening me? You can't fucking go anywhere."
"I am threatening you, yes. And as for me not going anywhere, try and stop me." I said, and grabbed the car keys off the counter.
Driving would be more of a disaster but my heart was aching, and I wanted to be away from him.
"cara mia, there's no where you could fucking go that I couldn't find you."
I scoffed. I tightened the belt of my thick robe and wiped the tear off my cheek.
"well you're not going to find me in your bed tonight, that's for sure."
He shook his head.
"don't you dare walk out that door." he said, and walked closer to me.
"this isn't the Axle I love. Figure yourself out." I said and slammed the door behind me.
I got into his car, and with a broken heart, I left the house. I sobbed, and sobbed into the steering wheel, driving 22mph on this dangerously fast car.
I made my way home, my home, and silently went upstairs.
Valerie saw me, and she came in my room and she listened to every word I had to say. She wiped my tears, gave me wine and told me everything would work out. Fights happen, it's normal. All that shit.
But my heart was hurt. I had no tears left. I know something happened with Lo. But I didn't care. I just wanted my Axle back. And I'd fight as hard as possible to get him.
So with a broken heart and tears streaming down my face, all the words he said replayed in my head, yet I somehow fell asleep, unsure of what tomorrow would hold.
Author note
Hi angels!! I hope you're enjoying this story. As you can see, I added a big and very important scene about Axle meeting a man named Christian Alvarez, who's name has been mentioned throughout the story. I'm not saying any more, but his part is not over. Neither is Vincent Moretti's. After all, a man can't build an empire alone.
And ps. This fight was necessary. I'm sorry. Don't hate me. I love you all.
Enjoy ;)
Emily