"you stay safe okay? and call me."
louis nudges his mother's arm away, pulling his suitcase out the door. "yeah, yeah."
"and don't get yourself into trouble."
he stops, turning to face her in the doorway. "mum."
"i'm sorry, lou. just give me a hug."
louis steps up, pulling jay into a hug that she holds on to tightly, like louis will never return from london. even though he definitely can't breathe, louis pulls her in just as tight, just so she knows how much he actually cares.
when johannah pulls away, she looks over louis' head, holding his shoulders. "hi harry!" she calls, and louis sighs happily, turning around.
and there he is, sat in the front of his car with the windows rolled down, waving to jay. he then looks at louis with a satisfied grin on his face. dark sunglasses cover his eyes and he has a toothpick between his teeth that he keeps fiddling with using his tongue.
jay pats louis' shoulders as he's observing him. "good luck, yeah? and i'll see you two soon."
he turns to her, trying to ignore harry but it's making him smile. "bye, mum." he kisses her on the cheek and she smiles, stepping further inside and shutting the door as louis turns around again.
he starts walking towards the car with his suitcase, just as harry turns down the music. he keeps fiddling with the toothpick between his lips, his left arm around the passenger seat as he stares out the window through his sunglasses, smirking.
louis puts his suitcase in the boot, then walks back around and opens the car door, sitting down before closing it behind him. he turns to face harry, who's still grinning away.
"you look like a twat."
harry bites down on the toothpick, making it point up. "what i look like is danny zuko."
louis scoffs, laughing actually. he looks to harry, lifting his arm and taking out the toothpick from his teeth. he keeps his eyes on harry, then spins it around, placing it in his own mouth, letting his lips wrap around it.
louis turns his head forward and leans back on the chair. "please," he says, "danny zuko wishes he was you."
harry laughs, shocked. he lifts the sunglasses up on to his head. "wow."
louis looks back to him. "what?"
"i think that is the nicest thing you've ever said to me."
louis purses his lips around the toothpick, rolling his eyes. "just drive, styles."
harry laughs through his teeth, turning the key in the ignition for the engine to start. he pulls the sunglasses back over his eyes to shield them from the sun, then pulls away from louis' house on the way to college.
"so are you excited?" he asks after a minute or so.
"for what?" louis asks like the question wasn't obvious.
"you know... performing our piece?"
"fucking nervous, more like."
"louis tomlinson gets nervous?"
louis turns to harry who's pulling a surprised face. he rolls his eyes, "rarely."
"only around me?"
louis scoffs, "please harry, you wish."
harry nods smugly, turning his head straight and keeping his eyes on the road. he slowly takes his left hand over the gear stick and towards louis, who has his eyes glued to it. harry's index finger finds itself making swirls on louis' thigh, trailing further and further up and... fuck, louis can't breathe.
harry breathes out a short laugh. "i wish." he mocks, smiling smugly to himself as he adds swirls from more fingers, before flatting out his hand at the top of louis' thigh.
louis stares at it, then looks back up to harry who seems to be a bit weary, his eyes flickering shortly to louis and back on to the road as if to ask if it's okay for his hand to be there.
the engine starts to make a sputtering sound, and that snaps harry out of it as he removes his hand from louis' thigh and changes the gear, making the noise stop.
harry looks to louis once, then puts his hand in his own lap. the car feels silent, and now louis' thigh feels awfully cold.
"harry?"
harry glances to louis. "yeah?"
"can you keep your hand there?"
harry takes a moment, as if to take the words in. he then smiles small and nods shortly, placing his hand perfectly at the top of louis' thigh, smoothing it over. "you change the gears." he says.
and so harry keeps driving, and louis keeps changing the gears as they share looks with one another. looks that make them have to look away, but then somehow look to each other again at the same time.
the car pulls into the school car park, and both see the coach parked already with people stood outside, loading their suitcases into the side of it. harry finally takes his hand off louis, reversing the car into a spot then looking back at him.
louis shakes his head, stepping out with a smile and walking around the side. harry follows, both getting their bags from the boot before louis sighs, taking out the toothpick and holding it in his hand. he throws it into the bin behind him with a flick, then pulls out a cigarette from his back pocket, shielding the flame with his palm before lighting it.
he uses the other hand to walk his worn down suitcase, and harry stays alongside him as they walk towards everyone, louis blowing the smoke out as he does so. some of the crowd seem unable to stop themselves from staring, and it makes louis laugh to himself.
"what is it?" harry asks.
"they're staring at us." louis replies, blowing the smoke through his teeth with a laugh.
"does it bother you?"
"it's nothing i'm not used to."
"yeah but..." harry pauses for a moment, "i don't think you're used to the reason why they're staring right now."
louis quietens and continues to take drags as they join the group, people somehow still staring as they stand there. the atmosphere seemed to die down a little when they joined, like everyone was so fascinated they were together.
harry leans in. "you alright?" he whispers, looking around as everyone turns and gets back to what they were doing before.
"let them stare." louis says, suddenly holding his chin up higher than usual.
"you seem lively today." harry says with a smile.
"what do you mean?"
harry laughs, "well i don't know if you're just happy to see me, but it's six in the morning and you seem pretty with it. just thought it wasn't like you."
louis takes a moment, scoffing a little. "i had coffee." he says, pulling the cigarette to his lips continuously.
"so you're not just happy to see me?" harry gives him the side eye, and louis turns to look at him with squinted eyes, taking another drag.
"what if i'm not?"
"then you would be lying."
louis turns his head away. "i don't lie."
"that's a miracle."
"a miracle would be for you to shut up."
harry laughs loudly. "you don't want that."
louis turns back to harry, pausing for a moment as he observers him. he then takes the sunglasses perched on harry's nose off with the same hand holding his cigarette, and places them on his own face, grinning.
"you don't know what i want." he says, stepping away and walking towards the side boot.
but harry chases after him quickly, catching up without his bag, standing in front of him. "nobody really knows you, do they?"
louis inhales the smoke, blowing it out quickly. "what can i say, i'm a mystery."
harry laughs, "not to me, you're not."
louis looks down quickly and when he looks back up his teeth are somehow sunken into his bottom lip. he nods shortly, not being able to meet harry's eyes, because he still feels guilty for the secret he's holding. "i guess not."
the man that's loading on the bags grabs louis' suitcase then, and pulls it into the compartment. the man then looks back up, ready to collect harry's bag who's still stood next to him.
"your bag?" he questions, and harry looks around.
"shit." he mutters, then runs off in the other direction.
louis laughs, walking off and spotting mr turner drinking coffee out a flask as he watches everyone. mr turner notices him, so louis waves and flips him off as he passes, then throws the cigarette down at mr turner's feet. he steps up through the coach's door and up the small stairs. he walks down the aisle, most people eating some sort of breakfast or already sleeping. louis sits near the back at the window, exhaling and taking off the sunglasses, placing them in his lap.
harry's walking up the same aisle not long after, eyes flickering between the left and right seats. when he spots louis he relaxes, and stands at the end of the seats.
"can i sit here?"
louis looks up to him, amused. "no, i forbid you."
harry holds in a small laugh, and places his hands on the head rest in front, using it to pull himself around, falling on to the seat next to him. he stares at louis in silence, waiting for something. louis can feel his eyes on his and eventually turns to look at him.
harry face lights up. "can i sit by the window?"
"seriously?" louis groans, "is my head really that fucking big you can't see over me?"
harry laughs, "no, but i know you'll fall asleep and won't be looking out of it anyway."
louis pulls a fake offended face, turning his eyebrows down at the boy. "i will not fall alseep."
"yeah, yeah, whatever you say..." harry snickers, "lou."
louis' eyes widen and he turns to harry quickly. "what did you just call me?"
"heard your mum saying it before you left. it's cute."
"did you just say cute?"
harry grins. "i said cute."
"you're gross." louis groans, but then leans his body against harry's, letting his head fall on to the boy's shoulder. "please let me use your shoulder as a pillow. i'm tired, and that coffee didn't do shit." he exhales loudly, closing his eyes.
"unbelievable." harry mutters with a smile, but lets him do so.
and that must have been the quickest louis has ever fallen asleep, warm from harry's body and smelling his cologne. when he awakes hours later because of the noise on the bus, his arms are wrapped tightly around harry's torso, his head on his chest. harry's looking out the window intently, rarely blinking.
louis looks up, stretching slightly. "what's going on?" he questions, and harry looks down to him.
"we're here." he says, and that makes louis lean up, using harry's thighs for support as he sits back up on to his seat. he turns his head to look out the window, leaning back so harry can see too.
the coach is slowing, and louis just watches the people in the street rush past until the coach eventually comes to a stop. "did i seriously sleep through that whole drive?"
"yeah," harry laughs as people start getting off. "you were pushing me off my seat, too."
louis sighs. "god, i'm sorry." he says, rubbing his eyes.
"don't worry about it, you were comfortable." harry stands up, fixing his shirt and pulling his body in to let people walk past, louis still stretching.
"you coming?" harry asks with a laugh, seeing as most of the people on the coach had already gotten off.
"if you want to carry me, then yes."
harry laughs, "come on, you can do it." he takes out a hand for louis.
louis groans loudly, taking harry's hand and using it to pull his body off the seat. "i slept like a baby." he says, and harry shakes his head.
"i think you snore a little louder than a baby."
"hey, you're the snorer here, we've already established." louis steps forward and harry smiles, beginning to walk down the aisle with louis following him.
"i think you're pretty tough competition." harry laughs, and says 'thank you' to the driver as he steps off. louis says 'cheers' and follows him, it being windy when they step off making their hair fly to the side.
louis follows harry who grabs his bag from below and pulls it out. louis does the same with a groan, and they follow the crowd up towards the front of the building. it's not long before louis isn't able to move his suitcase anymore because the wheel keeps turning in the wrong direction. so he stops, observing the hotel.
"bit tacky, ain't it?"
harry laughs. "weren't expecting a castle, were you?"
"not a castle no... but also not this. isn't this supposed to be a holiday anyway?"
"louis, they called it a holiday so people wouldn't bail."
"mmh, well it tricked me."
harry laughs, and the group are now far ahead as the pair still attempt to pull their suitcases up the stairs. harry lifts his to the top, but louis is pulling it up by the handle and letting the wheels do the work.
"louis that's not going to—"
there's a popping noise and louis' eyes widen. "harry i think the wheel just fell off."
"are you serious?"
"harry, this suitcase is like older than me, it—"
and there it goes, tumbling down the small flight of stairs with crashing noises and thumping when it hits the bottom. louis stays frozen, his lips parted as he stands there with the handle still in his hands, broken off from the rest of it. he finally turns around, his clothes fallen out and spread across the concrete.
"you've got to be fucking joking." louis runs back down, and harry follows him laughing as louis leans on to his knees, throwing down the handle and picking up any clothes and trying to stuff them back into the broken suitcase.
harry leans down on to his knees opposite louis, still laughing. "it's old, you say?" he teases.
"shut up!" louis laughs, still grabbing clothes to fill it back up.
harry helps him, grabbing tops and joggers and actually folding them and placing them in, unlike louis who's throwing everything in, stuffing it inside.
harry pulls a pair of boxers to his face, which catches louis' attention. "nice." harry mutters, and louis grabs them from him, shaking his head.
"this is personal property."
harry laughs, "please louis, like i'm going to find anything exciting in here."
"hey, you might."
harry doesn't respond, because he seems too invested and absolutely amused by the silver notebook he's holding up to his face, the words 'make your dreams happen.' in cursive writing across the front. "like this?"
louis looks up, grabbing it from him quickly. "that's my mum's!"
"really? because i always thought you were a sucker for motivational quotes."
louis rolls his eyes, opening it to the first page, handing it back to harry like that. "i needed to write shit down, but i don't have a notebook obviously, so i used hers."
harry looks at it, concentrating on the words. he suddenly laughs, "louis what is this? vandalism, sex, smoking??"
louis grins. "it's all the stupid rules mr turner set us for this trip."
"and you have them down... to what," harry laughs, "remind yourself?"
"no." louis shakes his head with a smirk, "to keep track for when i break 'em."
"right." harry shuts the book and puts it in the suitcase, "because you couldn't just have a normal trip, could you?"
"harold do you even know me?"
"no i know, i should have expected it."
louis laughs, and attempts to zip the suitcase back up with his clothes stuffed in there but it seems to be broken, or just really jammed.
"i don't think i've ever seen a suitcase this bad." harry comments, both laughing.
"it was my dad's. my mum found it in the loft, and we weren't gonna pay for a new one so it seemed alright at the time, okay?"
harry smiles, "how are we going to get it home?"
"never worry about that, how are we gonna get it up these stairs?!"
harry laughs and looks around the base of it, before looking back up at louis. "alright, put your hands on the bottom."
louis does so, and harry glares at him, exhaling loudly. "louis."
"yeah?"
"take your hands off my ass, i meant the suitcase, you idiot."
louis laughs, pulling his hands off and placing them on the bottom of the suitcase. "my bad, my bad." he continues to laugh, and harry can't help but reveal a smile he tries to hold back.
"right after three we lift it up, okay?"
louis nods.
"one, two, three!" both boys lift the suitcase off the floor with a groan, carrying it up the stairs together. when they reach harry's suitcase louis gives him panicking eyes, then decides on using one arm to carry his suitcase and the other to wheel harry's along.
harry manages to open the door and both boys stumble inside quickly, where mr turner is stood in the lobby.
"ah boys!" he quickly says, seeing them struggle. "you two are in room one zero five. i also need you down in ten minutes for lunch."
the two nod frantically and mr turner places two room keys on the top of louis' suitcase. harry says thank you and the pair continue to struggle down the hall.
"oh and we'll talk about your behaviour later, louis." mr turner calls as they go through the first door.
"what's he on about?" harry asks.
"flipped him the bird, then threw my cigarette at his feet. his shoe probably looks exactly like yours does right now."
"oh shut up, i can't believe you did that."
louis grins, "all in good reason."
they take the lift upstairs, then harry struggles for the room key before unlocking the door and pushing into it to force it open. the pair throw louis' suitcase on one of the beds with a groan, louis falling on top of it shortly after, exhaling.
"i don't need to exercise for a year after that."
"wore you out?" harry asks.
"hmm." louis responds, just as harry grabs his own suitcase from where louis left it at the door.
he places it on the other single bed, unzipping it and beginning to grab out his neatly folded clothes, placing them in the drawers opposite.
"you seriously unpacking?" louis asks as harry continues to do so, "we're not here for that long."
"i prefer it this way," harry says, "i can see everything."
"yeah, i'm just gonna be living out my suitcase."
"i wouldn't even call that thing a 'suitcase' anymore." harry snorts.
"living out my fabric, then." louis laughs, just as harry grabs out his toiletries and walks over to the bathroom, unpacking them.
"you ready to head back?" harry asks as he walks back in, shutting the drawer full of his clothes and pulling on a jacket.
"no, i'm not going."
harry laughs, "you know mr turner will literally drag you out of this room."
"he's just a miserable old git, i can take him."
"i'm sure you could, but i'm hungry and going anyway, so come along if you want." harry stands there, looking at louis who is still leant on his broken suitcase, practically led on the bed.
he waits, and waits, and louis just stares, somehow finding himself taking in harry's features. louis realises he's never really noticed the freckle under the left curve of harry's mouth, or how his ringlets curve outwards behind his ears.
harry clicks his tongue. "alrighty." he says, realising he's getting no response. he hits his left palm and turns on his feet, walking towards the door and opening it. he steps out.
"harry."
he turns around to look at louis, his eyes looking wider yet his lips still straight.
"wait for me." louis stands up, shaking his hair in his hands and stretching slightly. he looks to harry, who's now holding the door open with his foot, his hands in his pockets and a grin on his face.
louis skips over, lightly bashing harry's shoulder with his own as they walk down the hall. when they reach the lift harry presses the button then clasps his hands together, waiting. louis watches his nature with a smile, then the lift pings and both step inside, louis clicking the 'close doors' button quickly so nobody else joins them.
harry turns, staying stood with his hands still held together in front of him sort of like a football player. it makes louis laugh.
"harry."
harry turns his head to louis, his eyes glancing to his. "yeah?"
louis steps over, grabbing harry's shoulders as he brings his lips to his. harry startles, but quickly recovers, turning his body and finally opening his hands, pulling louis to his body by his torso. their lips continue to move against one another, soft yet deep, and harry's fingertips slide under the bottom of louis' shirt, feeling the skin.
the lift pings, and the boys pull apart, turning to face the door. both have smiles on their faces, and harry brings his fingers to his bottom lip as the lift door opens.
they step out, walking down the short hall and opening the door, immediately hit by the chaos of everyone stood in the foyer, chatting in groups.
"your hands are cold." louis says quietly.
"are they, or do you just want an excuse to give me your jacket?"
louis laughs, rolling his eyes. "was that you subtly telling me to give you my jacket?"
harry is smiling and about to respond, but he's joined by a firm hand around his shoulder that distracts him. both boys turn, and there niall is, an open grin on his face.
"harry... louis." he does a little happy dance, moving his arms in the air.
louis shakes his head, smiling. "someone's chuffed."
niall pulls a smug face. he puts his arm around louis, both of them facing harry. "that's because i my friend, have tickets to 'pink needles' gig tomorrow."
louis face lights up, and harry keeps smiling. "wait really? that's sick!!" louis says.
"yeah, you jealous?"
louis hits hits his stomach lightly. "obviously, mate."
"well don't be, 'cause you're invited."
louis eyes widen. "what? how?"
niall laughs. "liam bought you a ticket."
"holy shit, yes!"
"he's still trying to win you over, then." harry says, amused.
"he doesn't need to." louis replies, "he's fine... he knows we're fine."
"well he's coming. zayn too, they're getting the train." niall says. "h."
harry looks up, suddenly more interested. niall passes him a small envelope. "i got you a ticket." he says, and harry takes it from him, smiling so wide.
"thanks niall, thanks so much."
"how cute." louis rolls his eyes, and harry looks to him, trying to stop himself from smiling.
niall doesn't realise, because he's too focused on looking straight ahead. "why the fuck is mr turner stood on a table?"
both look, and louis starts laughing, slapping his knee. "hah, what a twat!"
"everyone!" mr turner is calling, "everyone!"
louis is rolling with laughter, and half the people in the foyer haven't even noticed the man stood above them.
"look how he's bending his knees!" louis snorts, then holds his hands together in a prayer position, closing his eyes. "god, god, whatever god out there, whether you're real or not, please make mr turner fall on to his face."
harry laughs quietly, nudging louis with a move of his hip to the side. louis opens his eyes and looks to him with a grin, stepping closer towards him so their hips stay touching.
"silence!!!" mr turner yells with all his might, finally catching the attention of the crowd as they quieten, louis letting out a small laugh.
"okay," he starts, everyone looking to him. "we will all be having dinner in the hotel restaurant. you are allowed to sit on separate tables but we are all segregated to the back section. please follow me and every other member of staff." he jumps down with a little stumble, and everyone begins talking again, slowly moving towards the restaurant.
katie is suddenly at niall's side, grabbing his arm. "hey!"
"alright my love?" niall pulls an arm around her, pulling her into his chest.
"you guys ready to go?" she asks, both niall and harry nodding.
louis groans. "yeah, fuck that."
everyone seems to turn to look at him, all sharing confused eye contact. louis is still pulling an unsatisfied face.
"what?" katie asks, finding it funny.
"i'm getting food somewhere else."
niall laughs, "i don't think mr turner would approve."
"what's he gonna do?" louis scoffs, shrugging. "he won't even realise i'm gone."
"louis," harry laughs shortly, "i think you're the first person mr tuner will realise is gone."
"oh well, i'll just pretend obeying mr turner is a rule i'm gonna break. it technically is."
"what's he on about?" niall asks, and harry shakes his head, grinning.
"well i'm staying to get pizza. niall?" niall looks down to katie, and nods.
"harry?" niall asks, but the boy stays put, rocking from heel to toe as he looks about. niall raises his eyebrows, then grins. "got it." he says, "i'll see you two round." the pair walk off towards the restaurant, whispering and laughing between one another.
louis turns to harry. "seriously?"
"what?" harry says, "i can be a rule breaker too, you know."
louis stuffs his hands into his pockets. "really?"
harry purses his lips, nodding.
"come on, then."
harry steps over with a smile, and louis pushes the big door open. he looks back for a moment, then quickly walks out, harry behind him who catches up until their shoulders are touching. they walk down the steps quickly, and get on to the pavement where they relax, walking down it.
"where are we off to?" harry asks as they continue to walk.
"why? what you fancying?"
"anything." harry says, "i'm starving."
"well then the first place we see, we'll eat in. alright?"
harry stops. "daisy's café."
"what?"
"over there," harry points. "daisy's café."
louis laughs. "cake for lunch it is, then."
he grabs harry's hand and runs quickly across the road, making harry squeal as he swiftly hops back on to the pavement and rushes down the pavement, out of breath when they stop in front of the café.
louis observes it, thinking it's rather cosy and pretty inviting, with an 'open' sign on its door. he glances over to harry for a second, who nods with a smile. louis steps up and opens the door, letting harry step in too before shutting it.
the smell of coffee is strong, but harry seems too interested on the cakes and pastries on display to care. louis leads him away by finding a table to sit at by the window. "what's calling your name?" he asks as they open a menu.
"carrot cake."
"carrot cake?!" louis laughs.
"yeah." harry says, uncovering his face from the menu. "why? what's wrong with it?"
"it's a mum cake."
harry pulls the menu back up. "really? and what are you getting, tomlinson?"
"chocolate cake. and a tea."
"and a tea." harry repeats, "that's very 'dad' of you."
louis snorts, "you've gotta get back at me for every little thing, don't you?"
"revenge at its finest." harry grins, "go cry about it."
"i never cry." louis protests, just as a waitress reaches their table, a small notepad and a pencil in her hands.
"what can i get for you?"
harry beams up. "hot chocolate please, and a slice of carrot cake."
she nods, writing it down on her notepad before looking back up to louis.
"yorkshire tea please, milk but no sugar. and a slice of chocolate cake."
"is that everything?"
they nod in unison.
"alright i'll have that with you shortly."
"thank you." harry says, waiting for her to walk away before looking back to louis. "what's this crying this about?"
louis puts the menu down flat. "huh?"
"you never cry?"
"no i do, but i stop myself." louis squints his eyes, realising what he's talking about. "why are you even asking about this?"
harry ignores the question. "is it a masculinity thing?"
"no," louis shakes his head quickly. "never has been. just feels awful, doesn't it?"
"it's relieving."
"it's torture." louis responds. "you get that awful feeling in your chest and you can't breathe."
harry stops for a moment, pursing his lips slightly before leaning forward. "what do you do to just..." he glances up, "let go?"
"i smoke, snort, take a load of shit until my chest feels just as tight as it does when i'm crying. then i stop." he hits his nails on the table, "and that is the closest feeling i get to letting go."
harry exhales, leaning back on his chair. "how do you do it?" he asks.
"how do i do what?"
"pretend that you're okay."
louis pauses, eyes on harry's. he shrugs. "i'm not pretending."
"yes you are. every single day. and it hurts me because you're that good of an actor that i can't even tell."
louis grins, looking away. "harry, you flatter me."
"louis."
louis turns back to him, emotions suddenly slowing to nothing when he realises how serious harry is. it makes him feel like there's something building in his throat that he can never swallow out.
harry's features soften and his voice quietens, "you know that book you brought with you?"
"what?" louis laughs, "'make your dreams happen'?"
harry nods. "use it." he says, "write down every shitty feeling you get that you can't let go off because you don't want to cry it out."
"how would that—"
"just trust me, louis." he squeezes his eyes shut, then opens them again. "and i promise you that when we get home we will burn that book. each page you can throw into a fire and we'll watch as you let them go."
louis bites down on to his bottom lip, staring down at the table.
"louis?"
he looks up, "yeah." he nods, "yeah okay, i'll listen to your fucking genius idea."
harry laughs, and louis does too, still taken back at how passionate harry styles is.
"here's your tea." the waitress is back. "and your hot chocolate." she places the drinks down, and both watch with smiles as he heads back to the counter and returns with their cakes, both boys saying thank you.
harry takes a big mouthful of his cake, the small noise letting louis know he enjoys it.
"how's it feel?" louis asks after a moment.
"how does what feel?"
"being a rebel?" louis laughs, "sneaking off behind mr turner's back?"
"honestly?" harry exhales, "not that bad. we only snuck off to get cake." he laughs.
"well wait 'til dark and we can do something a little bit more on your level."
harry looks up, about to take a mouthful. "what?"
louis grins. "gotta start breaking these rules, haven't i?"