Okay, so she's on Breaking News. Those reporters are too quick with their words and live reports.
Ye Jin watches the news and winces to herself. It looks bad and it's another reason why she can't stay here for long. She is sure, her security details have reported the 'incident' to Chief Kang, if not directly to the President.
She's worried about her husband's reaction upon seeing the news. The security protocol is strictly applied on them for a reason, and she— well, she acted rashly, without thinking further of the possible consequences and disregarded everything she knew.
And with Yeo Been confiscated her phone ever since she was taken care of, she can't tell him that she is fine. A little in shock, some bruises here and there, and the open wound will leave marks, but she is fine.
She hopes the same can be said about the baby, if there is one. She is still waiting on her bloodwork result to confirm her pregnancy, but— all throughout the fiasco, instinctively, she was all about how to keep her stomach out of harm's way. Covering it with a hand probably didn't help, but that's the least she could do as people crowded her and the little boy.
Oh God, the little boy.
He looked shaken to the core and she blamed herself for that. And she hates that everyone is so focused on her that they don't give the boy a proper look until she told them to.
Just like this handsome doctor in front of her.
"Honestly, Doctor Son," Doctor Han Jae Joon gives a sharp glance to the First Lady as he dresses the stitches he just finished, "With this kind of injury and the shock you must have experienced, I recommend you to stay for overnight observation."
The fact that he uses her medical title gives away his irritation at the First Lady's continued rejection over the course of actions he proposed except for getting stitches on her wound.
"Isn't it too much, Dr. Han, keeping the bed for me to wait on bloodwork result? And please, can you update me on the boy's condition?" Ye Jin responds coolly.
"Ma'am, with all due respect, you need some rest. Immediately. You are running on adrenaline and you'll crash soon, I prefer you are here when that happens."
The First Lady sighs tiredly. "Dr. Han, do you want my husband to be here? Monitoring your every move, questioning every single decision you take for me? Because he will do that. He'll be like the overbearing husband you often see, but worst, because he's the president and you can't say no to him."
"First Lady Son—"
"Please, it's really better if I can go home and be treated by the Blue House's doctor. It'll make life easier for you and for me as well."
The tall and handsome doctor watches his stubborn patient closely, contemplating his next move. Even though the tale of exhaustion starts to creep in her face, she is really uncomfortable.
She looks like she wants to run away from here if she is given the chance. Taking into account the trauma she experienced, he knows the better course of treatment is to let her be as comfortable as possible.
"Give me the doctor's number, I'll call him beforehand. Then once your bloodwork result comes out, we'll discharge you, probably in an hour or so."
"Can you just send me the result later? It's not that urgent."
She is pretty sure she's pregnant anyway, though considering what happened today— she may want to take a day or two before telling Bin about it. She only wants to go home and be in the comfort of her own bed wrapped in her husband's embrace. Not here in the sterile environment of a hospital.
The sound of the door opening distracts her and she's glad to see Yeo Been enters with her best friend.
"Ye Jin-ah, how are you holding up?" Song Yoon Ah walks up to her worriedly.
"Eonnie, I'm fine," she sighs. "All things considered. I just want to go home. The bloodwork result can wait. That's possible, right, Dr. Han?"
The doctor smiles a little and sighs. "Fine. Keep the wound clean and dry until 48 hours. Change the bandage three times a day, I'll send you home with an ointment. As for your pregnancy, no spotting or bleeding is good. And despite not confirmed yet, I'll give you folic acid, iron and calcium. But once it's confirmed, I suggest you to do a check up to your OBGYN."
Ye Jin bites her lips as her eyes gets unexpectedly teary hearing the doctor addressing her pregnancy. Her hand finds her belly in a reflex kind of way and she rubs it gently, calming down herself and the baby inside. "It will be okay, right, Doc? The baby?"
"We can do an ultrasound if you want, First Lady Son."
She shakes her head immediately; she wants Bin's presence when they meet their baby for the first time. "No. I'll wait for my husband. Please send me the result once it's out. Yeo Been-ah, can you go with Dr. Han and process my discharge?"
"Will do, Ye Jin-ssi. Oh, about the boy, the pediatrician has taken a look on him. He's gonna be fine."
Ye Jin releases a relief sigh and nods several time at Yeo Been. "Thank you, I feel so relieved. Invite him to the Blue House once he recovers."
"Okay. If you'll excuse me, I'll process your discharge."
"Yeo Been-ah, how's— how's the president reacting to this? You've told him, right?"
"The President is still in cabinet meeting, we've relayed the message to Chief Kang."
"Oh, you shouldn't bother him if he's in a meeting."
"And get his wrath later on?" Yeo Been quirks an eyebrow. "Yeah, no way. I'm going."
The First Lady looks to the door a long minute as her friend comforts her. "Yeo Been is right, Ye Jin-ah. Your husband needs to know, especially if you're pregnant."
"I can just imagine his reaction, Eonnie. I want to avoid that. And me being pregnant—" she turns to Yoon Ah. "—it's not confirmed yet, maybe we're getting ahead of ourselves?"
Her friend smiles a little. "I don't believe it. A woman has a gut feeling over something like this, Ye Jin-ah."
"I know, I know it in my heart. But I'm afraid Bin will not be happy about it."
Yoon Ah doesn't react right away to her question, taking a few moments to comprehend her words. She looks at her and her face must be marred with anxious uncertainty. She walks closer to the First Lady and circles her arms around her.
"Tell me what's been bothering you. Is that why you were so panic when you texted me earlier? Thinking that your husband might not want this baby?"
It must be her friend's blatant choice of words that made her tears falling without warning. Her heart clenches hard, not because it sounds so harsh; it's because the high possibility of it becomes the truth.
"Ssshhhh, don't cry, Ye Jin-ah." Yoon Ah strokes her arms gently. "Believe me, it's only in your head."
"It's not the most ideal time, Eonnie. We're still adjusting, and a baby right now—"
"Regardless of the timing, a baby is still a baby. A little being made out of its parents' love. And the love you share with your husband is pretty special, don't you think?"
Ye Jin can't quiet her sobs right now as she finally pours out her worry over the situation. "That's what makes me so torn. It may be too early for us, we may have a hard time juggling everything at the same time, but knowing that there's a part of him within me— him that I love so much— it breaks my heart to think that he doesn't want any of this when I love the baby already, eotteoke?"
"Sssshhhh, let it go. Let everything go, clarity will find you soon."
"I want this for us, I want this for me. This is my dream, Eonnie, having a family of my own."
"And because this is your dream— Bin will love the baby just the same, if not more. You must have known by now, that man lives for you— he'll do anything for you."
"But—"
Yoon Ah raises a hand to cut her and shakes her head, soft smile playing in her face. "Stop being so sad, Ye Jin-ah, you are having a baby!"
She is, isn't she?
Despite the uncertainties, this still counts as happy news. Why should she be trapped in the web of negative thoughts when she should be over the moon? Her dream is finally coming true!
"Oh, Eonnie," She wipes her tears away as she feels the first smile slowly blossoms in her face for the first time today. "I'm pregnant! I'm having a baby!"
"That's it. That's the spirit. Keep the positive mindset to help your body adjusting to the pregnancy. Give your baby the best place to grow."
Ye Jin touches her belly once again, and nods. "I will, I will, Eonnie."
"And give your husband the benefit of the doubt. Talk to him. Trust him and his love for you."
"I will tell him once I get the confirmation. And maybe after he calms down about today. I'm sure he'll flip over this, I just hope he has sufficient time to digest everything when I arrives home."
That thought consumes her mind as they drive back to the Blue House. She gets enough scolding from her parents when she calls them back just now, and some worrying phone calls from her mother in law and Bin's grandparents.
"Mr. President is waiting for you at your office, Ma'am." Jung Tae Eul informs her as they drive back to the Blue House.
Uh-oh. Adrenaline has slowly left her and she will crash soon, she doesn't know if she can cope with anything more than a playful nag. And to escape with only a playful nag from Bin?
It sounds almost impossible.
"Was he— angry?" She responds carefully.
"Chief Kang didn't say anything, Ma'am."
A shrill sound of a phone call is heard in the small space of the car and distracts everyone. Every eyes look to Yeo Been as she answers the phone then gives the phone to her.
"First Lady Son, a phone call for you from the hospital."
Hospital? But— didn't they say they need an hour or so? Instinctively, her hand finds its way to her midriff and she takes sometime to take deep breaths, telling herself that everything will be alright.
"Yes, Son Ye Jin speaking."
She listens as the doctor telling her what she already knows, that she is indeed on the way to become a mother in about nine months. That inside her there is a new life, a baby, a fruit of their love. And that's enough to make her shed her tears again, though this time it's happy tears.
Despite her exhaustion, despite the question of what awaits her at home, Ye Jin basks in the euphoria and wishes she can tell Bin right away. But it can wait.
There's nothing more important right now than to take the President's mind off the worst case scenario playing in his mind about today's event. Because knowing her husband— nothing can calm him down when it comes to her. Not until he sees it with his own eyes that she is well and safe.
And even that is not enough, as she finds out as soon as she steps inside her office. If she says she knows how visceral his reaction will be, that will be a lie. He never lashes out before, at least— not in front of her. And never at her. But this time—
Worry — if she must guess — got the best of him.
Part of her knows that his outburst is warranted, that's why she stands there; her lips quivering, her body trembling, for the first time ever she knows how menacing her husband can be when he is angry. But she takes all of his anger in, if that will make him feel better— she'll give him time.
"You can't act recklessly, ever, Jagiya. You can't. And you won't. Do you understand me?" Bin pleads with her.
He's calming down, and it's good. But what he said triggers her protective side which has always been there and now— with the added knowledge that she'll become a mother, it just doesn't sit well with her that he wants her to do nothing for that boy.
He can't be serious about that, can he? Will he act that cold toward their child? She hopes he won't, because she knows he is more than that. So much more than that.
"Ugh, you're impossible!"
Stomping her feet in frustration, Ye Jin leaves him and everything that happened today just crashes down on her. They are finally at the same place, finally have some time to spend together, and she misses him so much and Bin is shouting at her and being illogical and—
UGH!
Her tears fall in a rapid succession and she doesn't care anymore. She wants today to be over. She is extremely exhausted and the only thing she wants right now is a warm bath before bed. She wants something else too, but with what happened just now— her husband's cuddle may not be in store.
But apparently, today is far from over as he quickly finds her. She doesn't want him to see her this way, with her fragile heart on display, but she doesn't have any energy left to do something about it. Can they just sleep it off and talk about it more tomorrow? When she isn't on the verge of passing out?
But he speaks and as usual, it melts her heart. And she now clearly sees the stress she has given him and the fear he must have felt. And the urge to comfort him is overwhelming.
"Do you have any idea what it feels like to see the love of your life disappearing before your eyes?" He speaks gently as he takes her hand and intertwines it with his. "I can't lose you. You know my feeling on this. Losing you will be the end of me."
Oh, Bin.
What else can she do except holding him tight? And once she embraces him, everything starts to feel right again for her. This is what it means to love someone so deeply; bravely expressing their honest feelings, listening to the other's dissatisfaction and readily accepting repeated apologies.
Their love — though immeasurable — is not perfect. Sometimes it is shown through the grandest gesture, and sometimes — as they found out today — it is shown through an ugly outburst. And Ye Jin will take all the forms, because amazingly, another form of their love is growing inside of her, a detail she can't help but share, albeit worriedly.
"Especially since I'm pregnant."
Then he lets go of her waist. And she feels lost once again.
***
Ever since Bin took his oath as the President of South Korea nearly 100 days ago, he has his share of stressful days. Those in the early days when he spent several days inside the Command Center comes first to mind, as well as the high tension meeting with North Korea's leader about — what else? — the next step toward a peaceful unification of Korean Peninsula, and lately— everyday has been hard on him as they march on toward the first milestone of his presidency.
But no day has ever been as draining as the last half hour of his life, not even his wedding day, though it comes close second.
At least, that day— he didn't have to worry about her safety, unlike today.
And that day— he was the one with all of the information, unlike today.
And that day— ended in the most beautiful way, while he's just not sure they're heading toward the same beautiful ending for today.
He already started it in the worst possible way after all — was he really screaming at his pregnant wife? — and now, he has a feeling he fucks up even more by maintaining his silence.
But silence— is better than his initial thought. Silence is better than following his urge to run away as far as he can, buying him some time alone to sort through everything. He knows he can't afford that. He promised her on their wedding day; to always hold her hand and be honest with her. And he will honor his vow til the day he dies.
But for the love of God, he needs time to process things. He has just felt calm enough to talk rationally with her, then she dropped another bomb on his lap.
"Say something, Jagiya. Tell me what you think." She urges him softly, her face full of worry.
That's the thing. He doesn't know what to think. His head is a mess, caught in between elation and dread.
"I know this isn't what we plan, I know you probably want to run away and sort everything out on your own," she pauses as she stares at him. He feels naked in front of her. She knows him so freaking well, he really doesn't need to say anything. "But, please stay, Bin. We need you."
We. We. We.
His wife is pregnant with his baby. Warmth spreads on his chest at the beginning then comes the biggest question. Can he do this?
He gulps and his eyes automatically drop to his wife's flat belly. Another bout of fear suddenly engulfs him as the reality of today's event gets even more magnified on his mind. He closes his eyes with one arm, and reaches for Ye Jin's hand with his free hand.
They are safe. That's all that matters.
So, he breaks his silence. Giving her the assurance that he'll be there for her, for whatever she needs.
"I'm not going anywhere. Let's go home."
Bin tugs her hand toward the car that has been waiting for them for sometime. He may need to give their employees some raise after staying silent to give them privacy.
"Careful," he tells Ye Jin as he helps her getting in. Then they spend the short drive in another silence, their hands intertwine in the middle of the seats as they are both busy with the swirling thoughts on their heads.
He doesn't let go of her as they arrive in the main residence, instead he leads her to their bathroom and draws her a bath, something she loves to do after a long day outside. And with how her day had gone, she deserves a long and relaxing bath.
After setting the warm water to her liking, Bin removes his socks and his tie before helping her out of her clothes. The look of love on her eyes at his loving gesture soothes his heart immensely.
His eyes first darken at the sight of her wound and he looks at her, silently prompting her about it.
"It's really a small wound, I only need to tend to it for the first 48 hours or so. Don't get it wet and change the bandage."
"I'll help you with it."
Then his eyes seek her midsection, staring at it openly, trying to find an obvious change due to her pregnancy. And Ye Jin sees it.
"We have to book an ultrasound to know exactly how far along I am, but I'm guessing around 9 or 10 weeks."
"Do you feel any change?" He asks her as she is getting in to the tub once the bubble bath ready. She disregards his question and moans as she steps into the warm water and the smile on his face is automatic.
"Feels good? Give me your hand so the stitches won't get wet." He drags the bathroom stool and sits beside her.
"Very. This is just what I need." She closes her eyes as she gives him her hand.
"Do you need anything else? Music? Book? Wi—" he stops his word, forgetting that she now can't consume wine. "Sorry, no wine."
Ye Jin smiles and opens her eyes. "Stay here, then I have everything I need."
"I told you, I'm not going anywhere."
"Thank you."
"Now— don't think about anything else, and just relax. President's order."
"Anything for my President."
"Good." He kisses her hand and just holds it, rubbing it gently from time to time as she soaks in the bath. It is relaxing but at the same time nerve-racking for him as he tries to find words to convey his questions and what he needs to say.
Not just about the fact that they are ahead of their schedule with the baby, but also about his— fits. And maybe the easiest way is just to apologize. Again.
Bin leans in and kisses her temple. "I'm sorry, Jagiya, for shouting at you. It was uncalled for despite whatever reason."
His wife turns to him and caresses his face. "All forgiven. Help me wash, will you?"
He takes her bath sponge and starts washing her diligently from head to toe, inserting some massaging session while on her back and shoulder. Then he dries her body and puts her in her comfiest pajamas. He follows suit, changing his white shirt and black pants to a more comfortable white tee and short.
She looks like she will fall asleep anytime soon, and there's nothing he wants more than to hold her until sleep finds her. As she moves around finding her position on the bed, Bin slips in behind her, embracing her like he usually does, except his hand slipping under her top and resting on her stomach.
"I'm sorry for not saying anything, about— the news." He mumbles on her hair.
"Stop saying sorry, Bin. I know it must be overwhelming. For me, too. But I—" she stops in the middle, and Bin knows it must be because his hands start gently rubbing her belly. And he can feel her relief sighs over the soothing motion.
Her hands join his and the gesture feels so intimate that he has to see it. He throws the blanket away and watches their hands, together, caressing her belly and that's when everything feels so real to him.
Good God, there was a slight chance he might lose both of them today, and nothing would hurt more than that. His eyes close at the sense of calm that finds him upon having the love of her life safe in his arms. And their baby, too.
"But I? What's next?" He presses her to finish her sentence.
"But I want this baby and I want you to want it, too." She tells him softly.
It's like a punch to the gut as he realizes that she thinks he doesn't want it. His silence tells her that notion and he needs to straighten it out.
He looks away from her stomach for a moment to seek her eyes then leaning in to kiss her fiercely on the mouth. And when he pulls back, emotion is so thick on his face, yet, his voice is so tender when he speaks. "I love you, you know that, right, Beautiful?"
A tear falls down from the corner of her eyes as she nods. "I know, and I'm sorry if this comes in such a bad timing, but—"
"But our baby is here." He gently squeezes her stomach. "Ahead of the plan. But what's new for us? We never follow our own plan since the beginning. A plan is a plan, but sometimes the best thing in life comes unplanned."
"Oh, Jagiya."
"And I want this baby as much as I want you. I'm sorry for ever making you think otherwise." He stares at where his hand is with quiet excitement before kissing her stomach and resting his head there. His eyes lock on hers as million of realizations hit him.
At the very front: he is going to be a father.
Goodness gracious, someone will call him 'father' in the near future. And that is something that he never thought possible. And despite feeling unsure of his capability of becoming a good father, he looks at his wife with so much love; she makes all of this possible.
"How do you feel? Anything I can help you with? Any cravings?"
Ye Jin shakes her head. "No. Except for being extremely emotional lately, and my breasts feel a little tender, I don't feel any different. Tell me what you really think about this. Let's process things together."
Bin nods as he settles behind her once again, this time bringing her closer to his body.
"I'm scared, Jagiya." He tells her honestly. "I— I don't want to be a bad father to him, or to her. And I feel like, I'm going to be one."
His wife turns to him abruptly and she must see his lack of confidence. "Oh, Bin. Not gonna lie, I'm scared, too. What if we are not ready, right? So many what ifs in my mind that I can't find the answer."
"Then what makes you so sure amidst all the uncertainties?"
"You. Us. Our love. It always gives me so much strength. It always makes me want to do my best. And I believe this time will not be different. That our love will carry us to where we're supposed to be. We'll get through this together, as a family."
Those are their essences. Them. Love. Family. And another thing is clicking on his mind.
They're working toward building their own family which has been a livelong dream of her. And just like she was beside him when he reached his dream, this time he is with her when she reaches hers.
And for that alone— he'll do anything for her.
"This is your dream comes true." He kisses the top of her head. She turns around fully and circles her arm around his waist.
"And it's not possible without you. So, thank you." She rests her head on his pecs and burrows herself deeper to his hold.
"Are you happy, Jagiya?" He tightens his embrace, feeling so conscious about squeezing their baby in between. Is it okay?
"I never knew happiness like what I felt today when I got the news. Can you believe it? There's a part of you in here." She brings his hand toward her midsection again and she smiles so beautifully.
"And hopefully more than half of you. God, come here." Bin lifts her chin up and kisses her so tenderly, her tears fall again. "You are going to make me a father."
"Uh-hm. Are you happy, Jagiya?" She repeats his question earlier.
"I'm not going to lie and say I have everything figured out, because you know as well as I do, that I don't. But— I don't want you to think about anything else except being happy and enjoying this journey ahead of you. That's the most important thing. Everything else is just a white noise. I'm— we're going to make it work, somehow. Just tell me, what can I do for you, and I'll do it, no question asked."
"Stay here. Hold me tight."
"This is the third time you asking me to stay today, and I'll answer the same way. I'm not going anywhere. I'll be here for you. And for our baby. Oh God, Jagiya, I'm so in love with you."
"And I— you. I'm going to arrange with the doctor for our first appointment."
"I'll do it. Now, sleep, Ye Jin-ah. You need rest, today has been eventful."
"That's an understatement of the century, Mr. President. But it doesn't matter, as long as I'm in your arms at the end of the day."
"As if you have anywhere else to go."
***
"Ah there it is, Nation's First Baby." The Blue House's OBGYN teases the tensed couple in front of him. The President looks like he's going to faint soon while the First Lady is the epitome of nervous.
But their nervous tension is quickly forgotten once they see their tiny embryo at the monitor. The beautiful First Lady gets teary as the probe glides through her stomach while the President's face fills with wonder and amazement.
"That— it's— is the baby okay?" Bin stutters.
It is said that seeing the baby's ultrasound image for the first time is a powerful moment for expectant father, and now Ye Jin can see it herself. She wants to frame her husband's expression at this time. It's between confusion and awe, and he's so cute she wants to kiss him so bad.
"Don't worry, Mr. President, your baby is more than okay. The size is a match with the First Lady prediction of 9 weeks. So, the due date will be around March next year. Look here, it's moving already."
"But we won't feel any movement at this point, right, Doctor?" Ye Jin tries to guide the doctor to elaborate more about their baby for Bin's sake. She wants him to feel included in their appointment, she wants him to ask questions, she wants the best experience for them.
"That's right. You won't feel your future dance superstar until later, but— it's not too early to hear something. Let's hear the baby's heartbeat, shall we?"
Awww, a future dancer? She's up for it. She's up for whatever. "Let's—"
"Wait— wait a minute. Wait a freaking minute, please." Bin lets her hand he has been squeezing go and paces around the room.
"Bin— are you okay?" She asks him amusingly.
"I am. I'm super fine. Except my chest is pounding so hard, and I don't think I can hear the baby's heartbeat clearly in this condition, so I'm asking you— to wait." He clutches the chair head as he looks at her.
"Okay. We'll wait. There's no reason to panic, okay?"
He sits back down and puts his head on his hands. "That's where you're wrong. There are so many reasons to panic. The world is not safe at all, global warming keeps getting worse, school bullying is at all time high. Let's just have him or her homeschooled, what do you think, Jagiya? Hmm?"
She knows by reading research that accompanying their spouse and partner to an ultrasound appointment can cause man to extend their plans for the child to beyond infancy and early life, but her husband— has taken it to an extreme level and it makes her heart bursts with love for him.
The news of her pregnancy is sure thrown him up for a loop, but he really takes it in stride despite his many apprehensions about himself. And by that, contrary to what he believed in, she knows he's going to be the best father their future children can ask for.
"But what if— like the doctor said, our child wants to be a dancer? Homeschooling won't work, Jagiya." She holds back her smile.
He looks over to her and rolls his eyes upon realizing she's teasing him. "You are teasing me."
"Because you— are so cute," Ye Jin looks over to the doctor, laughing. "Right, Doctor? Only you can go on about global warming and school bullying on our first doctor appointment."
"That's what having a President as your partner means, First Lady Son." The doctor joins her to tease her husband and she loves the expression of helplessness on Bin's face.
"I was just—"
"You are just being a father. I know." She shrugs lightly, grinning at him.
"Glad my predicament is a source of your amusement, First Lady Son."
"You say to enjoy the journey, you should too. Come on, let's listen to the heartbeat. Are you ready, President Hyun?"
He takes a deep breath then slides his chair closer to the bed then gives the go ahead sign to the doctor.
"Here we go. You want to record it, maybe? Some of the patients went to record the first time they heard the heartbeats."
Bin takes out his phone and opens the recording application. Then they wait as the doctor pours out a small amount of gel on her stomach then glides the probe again, searching where their baby is hiding this time around.
At the first booming sound, their eyes find each other's and her husband grips her hand so tight before putting his forehead on it. Ye Jin caresses his head as they listen together of that speedy little beat of the tiny heart.
She stops her caress when suddenly she feels wetness on her hand. "Bin? Jagiya?"
He looks up and she finds tears streaking his cheeks. And never before he looks more dreamy and endearing. "Everything is real now. We're having a baby."
"We are, handsome. We're having a baby."