I didn't tell Bondy and Larry to prioritize reviewing the disclaimer but they seemed to sense my urgency and restlessness. Getting approval was on my mind and I didn't have anything else to do so I was staring off into space tapping my pen or getting up constantly to rummage around the kitchen or to throw something away. They'd look up whenever I'd get up and as soon as I looked in their direction, they'd look away. Larry was the first to finish saying it looked good and that the language used was better.
"Hopefully you don't scare them off," Larry teased. "How many people showed interest again?"
"A grand total of two people!" I said dramatically, putting two digits up and he laughed.
"Don't fuck it up."
"The disclaimer looks good but I'd add a line that states participants have the right to pull out of the study anytime. The length of the study isn't clearly defined. Do you know how long it'll be? Two months with a possible extension?" Bondy spoke up.
Bondy was always more thorough in his review, often suggesting things I didn't think about which I was grateful for. Even though he didn't like the title of being the director of this project, he took responsibility for it. He is very knowledgeable so we'd run ideas through him before acting on it.
"Thanks Bondy," I replied, writing it down. "Do ya want me to run it by you after I make the changes?" Bondy shook his head.
"Nah, I trust you know what you're doing."
Adding Bondy's suggestion didn't take long. Only half an hour at most but it could've been done a lot sooner if I wasn't second-guessing myself so much. Eventually, I had it with the document and was done tweaking it. If elaboration was needed, we could certainly talk it out. I texted both people saying they had to sign a disclaimer before taking part in the study and that I could give them a brief introduction to the study and the lab.
It didn't take long before I heard back from Florence. I had warned them it would take an hour but here she was asking me to propose a date and time that was convenient for me. Does she not work? I checked my schedule for the rest of this week making sure I didn't propose a time where I had a meeting and gave her a few times to choose from. She accepted the soonest available time which was today at 3:30 PM which immediately worried me so I spent the rest of my day trying to memorize what I wrote.
Earlier, I was confident and eager to start the study but that immediately disappeared when she responded. To be truthful, there was something about her that terrified me yet I was still drawn to her. I've not come across many women as confident and outspoken as she is. What will her dreams look like? Larry seemed to notice the change in my behavior.
"Is everything alright, Van? You seem tense," Larry noted which caused Bondy to look up.
"I'm meeting someone today to go over the disclaimer," I answered as calmly as possible.
"Do you need help?" Bondy asked. I shook my head.
"I'll be fine," I replied, fiddling with my pen. I hope.
-
The day went by quickly and I only had fifteen minutes until it was time to head up. Several blank copies of the disclaimer were placed in a folder and I used the clip of the pen to keep it shut. All I did the past few hours was repeat the words like a mantra and I hoped I didn't sound like a robot when going over it.
Bondy asked me one more time if I'd like company but I refused and made my way up to the eleventh floor. I was a few minutes early but so was she apparently. I spotted her instantly when the doors opened and I said hello, looking around briefly to see if there were others on the floor. There was one other person having a phone conversation standing by the window. She saw me looking at the man.
"I don't mind sitting out here but if you prefer privacy, we can sit in an office," she offered. Today, she was more relaxed. Her anger from the other day wasn't visible.
"Why don't we sit in those chairs?" I suggested, nodding my head towards the chairs. They were a little further down from the man on the phone and I figured he was occupied and wouldn't try to listen to our conversation. She took a seat next to me, crossing her legs. She seemed nervous and I figured that's why she was more calm and quiet today. Well that makes two of us.
"Here's the disclaimer," I said, handing her a copy. She took it and began flipping through the pages, noting that it was several pages long. "I'll go over the main points and you are welcome to read it on your own time. Don't feel like you have to sign it right away. You can have some time to think it over and decide if this is something you really want to do."
"This is a lot," she murmured, her eyes scanning the text.
"Yeah," I agreed, realizing I probably got carried away with it. Adding Bondy's suggestion didn't help either. "I'll go over the purpose of this study which is to visualize dreams. We have created a program that allows two people to enter the same dream. This is a recent discovery so there's still loads to learn. The purpose may change over time as we learn more about the nature of dreams and try to experiment on them. Another purpose of our study is to understand dreams but that's more complicated and difficult to quantify as it's subjective.
"As you already know, this procedure is painless. You have to be okay with using anesthesia but we use a fraction of the amount used in clinics. In clinics, you need enough anesthesia to ensure a patient is asleep during the entire procedure. The amount we use is based on your weight and the concentration of the anesthetic but we only use a tenth of the dose—just enough to make you sleepy. We adjust the dose based on how long we need to go under. The dose is linear where more anesthesia is required the longer you want to fall asleep. Are you still following me?" Florence nodded her head so I continued.
"If you agree to this, this means you give us permission to enter your dreams. As you know, dreams are difficult to control. They're a combination of your memories and repressed thoughts, feelings, and desires. There's a chance we'll see something you may not want us to see but that's the nature of dreams. They can't be controlled but just note that your dreams will be kept confidential.
"In this study, we're not claiming to diagnose or treat anything. We're not medical professionals. And we're not responsible for any damages incurred. This includes mental, physical, and emotional damage or trauma from dreams, and health problems that arise from using anesthesia. The anesthesia we use is nitrous oxide, more commonly known as laughing gas. It's safe but there are minor side effects which include nausea and grogginess.
"An important thing to note is that this study is completely voluntary. We think this study will be two months long with a possible extension, but you are under no obligation to complete the study and can drop out anytime. Our schedule is flexible and we can meet as often as you'd like. So...have I scared you off yet?" I joked. She's been silent the whole time nodding her head and taking notes.
"It doesn't seem too bad." I couldn't tell if she was sold but I didn't want to pressure her.
"The study will take place in this building. We're located on the fourth floor. I can take you there if you're interested and our hours are flexible. We can even do weekends if that works for you or hold a session after work. Sessions will vary in length depending on what we're doing but it shouldn't be more than three hours."
The entire time I was explaining it to her, I didn't look at the disclaimer one bit. What I told her was a shortened version of what was typed out. The disclaimer contains more detail and she can refer to it any time.
"Do you have any questions?" I asked.
"What are you hoping to learn from this?" she questioned. That was a good question. There were tons of things I hoped to learn but I thought I'd save her the lecture as they were personal.
"It's not about what I want to learn, it's about you. My hope is that this provides some introspection so you're able to learn more about yourself. Do ya have any other questions?"
"Yeah...is this study even legal?"
I thought our meeting was going well but when she asked this question, I began to worry. It's not that I was afraid she'd decline joining the study—I was afraid she was going to give us trouble.
"Erm...there are no laws governing dreams so technically it's legal," I answered, shrugging my shoulders.
How I came up with that answer so quickly, I've no idea but I could see she was surprised I even had a response, and judging by the look on her face, it wasn't one that she wanted to hear. I'm not gonna lie...seeing the look on her face was satisfying. She wanted something to hold against me, something she could leverage if things didn't go her way. That was when I knew I had to be careful around her.
"That's all I had," she said and I was relieved she didn't have anymore questions.
"Do you want a tour of the lab?" I offered. There was a glint of excitement in her eyes which meant she was interested.
"Yes, please."
We gathered our papers and I let her hold her copy. I pressed the button to go down and when the lift arrived, I pressed the button for the fourth floor. The doors opened and I stepped out, leading the way. I pushed the door open and beckoned for her to step in and she did. Bondy and Larry immediately eyed her and I closed the door behind us.
"This is Florence. She's interested in the study so I'm just giving her a brief tour," I announced. "That's Bondy and that's Larry." I pointed at them as I said their names and they waved back shyly, turning their attention back to their work, though I could see them stealing glances at her.
"Let's make our way to the computer station," I said, walking towards it. It was turned off but I figured I could still explain how it works. "We have written a program that reads electrical signals from the body and translates them into images. These images are then sent as signals back to the body, allowing us to visualize our dreams." I grabbed the dream kit and opened it so she could see the probes and wires. "We have two sets of probes. This end goes to the computer and you'll see that the wire splits in three. One probe wraps around your finger, one goes on your wrist, and one goes on your temple." I put the probes back and set it on the table to put away later.
"Now if you follow me, I can show you the anesthesia we use." I held the canister up for her to see, shaking it slightly. "The canister is pressurized and there's a gauge that tells us how much nitrous oxide is left. We have a friend who makes it for us at the concentration we specify. The computer software is able to calculate the dose to administer based on your weight and the duration you want to be asleep for and we use that number to program how much anesthesia to deliver. The gas is delivered via these masks which we place over our head." I stretched the band of the mask pretending to put it over my head.
"And I think that's it..." I trailed off. "Are there any questions about our setup?"
She was quiet the whole time. For her, being able to visualize how we do things must've been a shocker to her. She didn't think it was humanly possible to visualize dreams yet here she was, seeing how it's done.
"Yeah," she replied slowly. "Do you have a pen? I want to sign up."