Saving You & I 💙
"In about 10 minutes we're going to get ready to go, Ace." My grandmother tells me.
"Okay." I nod. I place my sunglasses on my face and lie back down.
We were currently at Jones Beach, in New York City. It was summertime and about 85 degrees out. The sun was shining bright and I was soaking up the sun while relaxing on my beach towel. It was just my grandmother, my cousin Jasmine, and I spending the day at the beach.
The months had flown by and now it was almost the end of the summer. I've been in New York for the whole month of August and now it's almost September and I'm leaving in a few days. My family is back in Elwood and my grandmother insisted that I come and stay with her for the month.
I insisted on only two weeks because I wanted to hang with my friends but of course I was overruled. It took a lot, but my parents actually trusted me to get on a plane by myself to come here. Kyle didn't come because he has a job now and obviously my parents are working so that left me the only contender.
"We should beg Gram to go and hang out on our own," Jasmine nudges me. "She wants to do everything with us."
I laugh and agree with her. I guess grandma just really missed spending time with the both of us... "Where did you wanna go?"
"Out to a small party—"
"Party?"
"Not a big one, just a little small one with a couple of friends."
"Your friends..."
"Come on! You're leaving in like three days. This will be good for us."
"I thought all of your friends didn't like me?" I grimace.
"That's not true," she shakes her head. "Please?"
"Jas..." I groan.
"Ace, please!" She clutched on to me. Her brown eyes were wide as she stared at me. I squirmed under her touch. "I promise we'll have a good time and you know grandma will let you have your phone and you can talk to your boyfriend..."
I tried to hide my smile at the thought. I haven't spoken to Hunter since yesterday morning. Ever since I came to visit and my grandmother found out that I had a boyfriend, she took my phone away. She told me she didn't want me to be too wrapped up in him while I was here because this was the only time she would see me for the next few months.
It really annoyed me because I couldn't even speak to my friends. She only allows me to have my phone for an hour a day and I have to call my parents on the house phone. While it did force me to spend time with her and the rest of my family, I still hated the fact that I couldn't speak to Hunter.
The month of July was a really fun month for me. Every day from morning to night I was out. Whether it was with my friends or Hunter, or all of us together I was always out and about. It was the best time for me. No fights, no drama, just fun. Hunter and I did a countless amount of activities together, which brought us even closer. We were pretty much attached to the hip all month.
All of us even went on Cora's family yacht and went tubing and jet skiing. I was never too fond of water, but they were and I was introduced to a whole other type of fun. Of course in New York I never did those things, let alone have I ever been on a yacht.
I guess it was a perk of living in a small town that wasn't too far from a lake. Suburban life is so much different than city life and when I told my family about everything I did (because when I got to NYC I had a huge tan) they said that I was doing "white people" activities. I didn't really care because it was fun. Definitely something I never thought I would be doing. And as for my friends in Elwood, it was something they looked forward to every summer.
"Fine." I conclude, after my short pause from reminiscing about my previous endeavors.
"Really?!"
I laughed at the happiness on Jasmine's face.
"Yes, really." I nod.
"Oh thank you, thank you, and thank you!" She exclaimed, tackling me back down onto the sand.
"Jas!" I yelled. "You know I hate getting sand in my hair! It takes forever to get it out."
"Love you, too." She kissed my cheek and got off of me.
I muttered to myself as I wiped off her wet kiss. "Now let's go to the water before we have to leave."
"Okay." She linked her arm with mine and we made our way to the ocean.
Jasmine was the same age as me. Growing up, we were fairly close and constantly spent time together. When I got to NYC, she was in Atlanta with her Dad and didn't get back until two days ago. And with me leaving in a few days we wanted to spend as much time as we could with each together. Ever since I moved we kind of drifted apart, but this time around we promised to not let it happen again and she would even be coming to visit me in Elwood in a few weeks.
Growing up, Jas's friends would always try to exclude me. I don't know why, but they never liked me. I guess it's because I was so different from them. I was always more quiet and reserved, and Jas was always loud and obnoxious. She was always getting herself into trouble, and I was the one afraid to get myself into any trouble.
I was always the one to make sure her mother wouldn't find out, and eventually I just branched off and found my own friends. I'm pretty sure she hangs out with the same girls and this time I knew they wouldn't get to me. And despite our differences, somehow the two of us always got along perfectly.
I couldn't deny that the real reason I wanted to go was so that I would be able to speak with Hunter. I miss him so much and he could even stay on the phone to comfort me while I was out with Jas and her friends.
Hmm...that didn't sound like too bad of an idea.
<>.<>.<>
"I can't believe she said yes!" Jas shrieks, as she closes my bedroom door.
"And she's giving me my phone!" I happy dance.
"Wow we sound like we were on lockdown." She giggles.
"Right." I laugh. "So it's not a big party, right? I don't have to dress up?"
"Nah, just a small get-together. I'm not dressing up." She shrugged.
"Okay, well I'm gonna go take a shower." I say.
After taking a very frustrated shower and getting dressed, I was finally ready. There was sand literally everywhere and I had to wash my hair for about 15 minutes in order to get it completely out which was very annoying. I was tired after that, so I just put on a pair of shorts and a sleeveless blouse with my sandals. I left my curly mane out to air dry and did minimal makeup. It was still hot outside, even at 8 in the evening.
"Leave it on my dresser when you get home." Grandma tells me as she passes me my phone.
"I will." I try not to roll my eyes.
"Have a fun time, ladies."
"Thanks, Gram." The both of us go to hug her before leaving.
"We're only going a few blocks away, so we don't have to take the train," Jas says.
"Okay."
It only took us about 20 minutes to get to whoever's house we were going to. When we entered, all eyes were on us. There was music playing but it wasn't very loud. It didn't look like much of a party; everyone was just sitting around at a table socializing. I remembered almost everyone in the room, except maybe one or two people.
"Hey guys!" Jas shrieked. She rushed over to hug her friends and I stood against the wall, watching quietly. I was waiting for the right moment to sneak away and go hide out and talk to Hunter in the bathroom.
Wow, I was really lame.
But then again, none of them even liked me the last time I checked. So can you really blame me for not wanting to be around company that always made you feel unwelcomed?
I decided to quickly text Hunter.
"Got my phone back for the night ;) Gonna call you soon. <3"
I smiled when I felt the phone buzz. He was always such a quick replier.
"Great. Miss your voice so much <3"
I smiled to myself. Gosh, I miss him so much. I slipped my phone back into my pocket, as I chewed on my fingernails. I silently watched as everyone obsessed over Jas's arrival. And when the reunion was over, all eyes flashed to me and the butterflies invaded my stomach in a way I did not appreciate.
"Is that who I think it is?" One of the girls asks. I recognized her instantly, and realized it was Deja.
Deja was the one girl of the group who was always the meanest to me. She wasn't Ashley mean, but she made it clear that she didn't like me and that I shouldn't mess with her. Of course I was always a little wimp so I never really said much, but I was older now. And I don't take crap as much anymore.
"Yeah, that's Asia." Jas smiles softly at me.
"Hey," I mumble and give a small wave.
"Still shy?" Deja asks with a smirk on her face.
"No, not really." I answer.
"That's good." She says. "How's Whitey-Ville?"
I heard a few chuckles, but I just gave her a bemused look.
"Don't you live in the suburbs now? I know you're like one of the only few black people in that town."
"Oh," I say, realizing what she meant by 'Whitey-Ville'. A few people giggled at my cluelessness, but I ignored it. I didn't really think that term was very funny. "I mean yeah, there are barely any black people there, but I like where I live."
"I knew you would." Deja nods. "I told Jas that you would."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I cock my head to the side.
"It means that you would fit in with a bunch of white folk. You've always acted white, and we all saw it. It's why you never fit in with us."
"Maybe I never wanted to fit in with you guys," I shrug.
"Oh, I'm sure you did." Deja and another girl laugh. "Why do you think I never liked you? You always acted like you were better than us. And always acted like a goody damn two shoes. You don't act black enough."
"How can I act a color, Deja? Please explain that to me because I am lost."
"You know what I mean." She rolls her eyes. "What? You got a white boyfriend, too?"
"Yeah, I do actually." I admit without a trance of hesitance.
I wasn't afraid to admit who I was dating. I've spent too much time defending my relationship because of my race and I wasn't going to waste any more time trying to hide it because someone else might not like it. If these people wanted to be shallow, then I would let them. But they weren't about to drag me down with them.
"Knew it." Deja laugh.
"Curious as to why it affects you so much, Deja." I lean off of the wall. "You don't define how 'black' I am."
"Jas knows I'm right. It's why she always hangs out with us more."
"If you think I'm gonna go cry or shut up, I'm not."
"You go to Whitey-Ville and grow a pair of balls?"
"If that's what you think, then sure."
"You just stay with you white friends and go call your little white boyfriend to make things better."
"I don't need him to make things better," I say. "I'm perfectly fine by myself."
"It's because you had to keep your black card in a white neighborhood.' She laughs.
"Deja, you need to chill—"
"Oh hush, Jas, because you even joked about her acting white sometimes too."
Jas looks down and I squint my eyes at her. Is she really letting her friend talk to her like that? And was she really talking about me behind my back? Not after she wanted me to gush to her about how it was to be in a relationship with Hunter, who was white. Not after she said that she was more into white guys than black. And especially not after her past.
You see, Jasmine is light skinned with long hair. She was always one of those girls who were idolized in school (why, I don't know) for her looks. We resembled each other a lot (our mothers are sisters), despite my darker skin and curlier hair.
Jas would constantly tell me that she wished she looked like me and she even changed her behavior to try to seem more "black." But now she's confided in me saying that although she loves her friends, she has some differences with them.
And to find out she was talking about me behind my back actually angered me.
"I'm leaving." I decide.
"Of course you are." Deja rolls her eyes.
"Yeah, I am." I stand up straight. "I can tolerate a lot of things, but ignorance is not one of them."
I begin to make my way towards the door when Jas holds my arm. "Ace, wait."
"Why, Jas?" I ask. "There's nothing to talk about so don't bother explaining yourself to me. Explain to Gram why you're coming home later than me, because I'm not."
I break out of her grip and exit the house, as a bunch of commotion erupts through the house. I know people were talking about me and I really didn't care. None of those people are my friends or mean anything to me except Jas. I didn't plan on ever seeing them again, and if I do I won't say a word.
Deja just wanted to see me break down and cry, but I wasn't going to do that. She thinks she can control everybody and that's why I've never liked her. And I wasn't about to be subjected to that. Jas may like that, but I don't.
I couldn't understand why my life mattered so much to them. So what if I have white friends and a white boyfriend? They don't talk down on me and they make me feel like an outsider. All of them in that house could talk about me, and all of them could judge me. It didn't matter because at the end of the day they don't mean anything to me.
I just hate how color-blind these people seem to be. You really hated me because I'm not "black enough?" I'm sorry I can't be who they want me to be and frankly I don't want to be. Their definition of being black does not define who I am.
I sat down on the bottom of the stairs angrily. I wasn't going to leave Jas because my grandma specifically told us not to split up because we would get in trouble and I wasn't in the mood to be getting yelled at. Plus, I wanted to talk to Hunter before I had to give my phone up. So for now I was sitting out in the dark, feeling the cool breeze against my skin. I pulled out my phone and went to dial Hunter's number but I was interrupted.
"I thought you left?"
I turn to see Jasmine making her way down the stairs.
"Well...I didn't feel like getting yelled at and I wanted to talk to Hunter." I sigh. "What are you doing out here?"
"Well...I just cursed out everyone in there." She sighs and sits next to me. "They were talking about you and it really pissed me off."
"Don't know why," I mutter. "You've done it with them before."
"Asia, it wasn't like that." Jas says.
"It wasn't?"
"Not in the way you think. I might've joked about it, but I never talked down about you. Ace, you're my cousin, not my friend. I'll always have your back before theirs."
"You didn't even stick up for me." I stand up. "You let her say that stuff and even shut up when she called you out."
"I know and I'm sorry!" She stands up.
"Yeah, well aren't we all?" I mutter. "I'm tired and I wanna go home. Can we go?"
"Please forgive me."
I sighed. "Jas, can we please just go home?"
She slumps her shoulders. "Sure."
"I just want to go home." I mumble.
And ironically, I meant back home in Elwood. I can remember me not even wanting to go there and now I was in my hometown but wanted to go back to what I was used to.
"Okay." She links her arm with mine and we walk back to the house I silence.
Before I enter the house, I notice a text from Hunter.
"Asia?"
I frown. I know he was probably looking forward to our call and now it wasn't going to happen.
"Sorry I didn't call like I planned. Annoying night, tell you about it tomorrow and this time I promise. Can't wait to be home...I love and miss you<3"
<>.<>.<>
"Make sure you call me when you get home, okay?" Gram holds my shoulders.
"I promise I will." I nod.
"Thanks for keeping me company these past few weeks. I love you, Acey."
"I love you too, Gram." I hug her tightly.
"See ya later, Ace." Jas hugs me tight.
"Bye."
"I can't wait to come visit you in New Jersey."
"Right." I agree.
I got over that little thing that happened the other night. Although the fact that she talked about me hurt, I was over it. Jas was family and I wouldn't hold a grudge against her. She claimed she wasn't going to be talking to her friends for a while, but who knows with that girl. Frankly, I don't care because I don't plan on seeing those girls for a long time or ever again.
I told Hunter about what happened and I got so worked up about it that tears came to my eyes. But he calmed me down and assured me that everything would be alright. Of course he didn't fully understand, though. Not being black enough is just one of those things Hunter couldn't understand because he wasn't black. But it was okay, he still made me feel better and that's all that matters.
"Then I can meet that dreamy boyfriend of yours."
I laugh. "Sounds like a plan."
My grandma kisses me only a dozen more times before I groan and tell her I'm going to miss my flight. I was only joking, but when I checked the time I really had to go. I hurried through the large terminal to the line for my flight.
I texted my mom that I was boarding the plane and what time I should be arriving so that they would know when to pick me up. The airport was about 2 hours away from home so I know they were probably already on the road. Thankfully my plane ride would only be about an hour long.
When I get on the airplane, I sit by the window and exhale. It felt so good to know that I was going home. Although I had a lot of fun with my family, I was ready to be with my immediate family. And I don't know if it's me who's changed or the things around me, but I actually am happy to be getting away from New York City. I never thought the day would come, but there was no trace of regret in my words.
And with that, I leaned back to relax and closed my eyes, counting down the time until I was reunited with my first love.
<>.<>.<>
"Mom! Dad!" I exclaim, running towards my parents.
I instantly spotted them waiting for me and made my way to them. My mom hugged me tight and I hugged her back just as eagerly. I inhaled her familiar sweet scent, knowing it was her signature aroma.
Gosh, I've missed her so much. This is the longest I've ever been away from her so of course I was hugging her as if I haven't seen her in years. A month is a long time for not seeing someone you usually see every day. And when I pulled away, she had tears in her eyes.
"Ma, are you crying!" I laugh.
"I can't help it!" She exclaims while wiping her eyes carefully. "I've never been away from my baby girl for so long."
"You know your mother's overemotional, Ace." My dad chuckles while snaking his arm around me for a hug.
"Hey, Dad."
"Hey kiddo. Did you have a good time?"
"Yeah. Gram and I had a lot of fun together."
"Did your cousin Jasmine come to stay with you?" Mom asks.
"Yeah, she did."
"Aw, how cute. I know everyone's dying to see you." She hugs me again and we begin walking.
"Are they?"
"Yeah. Cora and Cheyenne stopped by yesterday, thinking you were home."
"I miss them. We haven't been able to talk the whole time I was gone. Well, maybe once or twice."
"Yeah, your grandmother is pretty strict about the cell phone use in her house."
"Tell me about it," I mumble.
"Hey Ace, what do you say we go out for dinner tonight?" Dad suggests.
"Yeah, that's fine with me." I smile and nod.
"Great. Now let's get home because we have about a two hour drive ahead of us." He says.
And I couldn't agree any more.
The ride home was anxiety filled, I've never been this eager to get home. But with school starting in only 4 days, I needed to make the best out of these last few days. I was excited to see my friends I was extra excited to see my boyfriend. Hell, I was even excited to see my brother.
I didn't tell Hunter I was on my way home. In fact, I told him I would be in New York until the day before school starts. He was so mad because he really wanted to spend some time together before school starts again.
Plus, his family was having their annual Labor Day barbecue that I was invited to, but "wasn't attending." My plan all along was to show up at the barbecue and shock Hunter. It's going to be awesome. I just hope no one ruins my plans.
Pulling up to our house, I was more than eager to go inside. But something stopped me dead in my tracks. Something I really was not expecting.
And when I say I really wasn't expecting it, I really wasn't expecting it.
Why was my brother making out with Ashley?!
Once again...
Why was my brother making out with Ashley?!
I haven't even been home for more than two minutes and I can even see the drama unfolding before me.