TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter contains some torture scenes, and a discussion of some sensitive matters.
*****************
"When you close your eyes
What do you see? Do you hold the light? Or is darkness underneath?"
*****************
Cara's POV
I think he is dead.
I mean, he hasn't moved a muscle for the past - I don't know how many hours - since Isaac delivered that last shock and left him, a limp body over the chair. His head hung low all this time and I couldn't notice the slightest twitch in his tied-up hands.
I really think he is dead, which isn't a bad thing at all but I am starting to believe he's my only ticket out of here, and I really need to use this ticket. His father proved to be something else entirely. I no longer wonder why Nikolas is the way he is, not when he originates from such a rotten source.
So, the faster I am out of here, the better. They can solve these messed-up family issues on their own time and away from me. I am sick of being brought into the middle of this, over and over again.
My gaze fell on the untouched tray of food his men placed beside me around an hour ago. I resisted the urge to scoff, Isaac is being such a generous host. One minute, he mercilessly knocks his son down, and the other he offers me food. He really gives insanity a whole other definition.
A low sigh parted my lips as my eyes drifted to Nikolas again. This time, with determination, I got up to my feet and moved forward, one step at a time and ever so carefully. My eyes assessed his state, focused on his chest, checking if he is breathing or not. I paused by the chair and slightly leaned down, leveling myself with him. I inched my hand forward but pulled it back immediately. My jaw ticked, I am gonna have to touch him after all, aren't I?
I pulled into a deep breath and with my forefinger, I poked his shoulder. I waited...but nothing happened. My eyebrows pulled closer and I poked his shoulder again, harsher this time. Nothing still. I stood straight and huffed out, mumbling under my breath, "You really chose the wrong time to die, didn't you."
Leaning down again, my fingers went to his neck, checking his pulse just to make sure. My jaw tightened at the contact but at least, I found his pulse, beating and all. I rolled my eyes, great, he is alive still. I looked around me, searching for a way to get him to wake up, and at the moment, only one idea clicked. It felt like the only choice I had, right?
I placed my fingers under his chin, slowly lifting his head and pushing it up. His unconscious state made it so easy to move him around and the back of his head pressed up against the chair's top rail. I looked at his face for a second, his eyes closed, you'd think he is peacefully sleeping but no, I saw how intense that lost shock was. I internally winced, I bet it didn't feel good at all.
Sweat beaded up over his forehead and I could see the blood on the corner of his mouth drying out. Gulping down, I finally made up my mind, I have to get him to wake up and there is no other way but this. You can just splash the water they brought you on his face, you know that, right? The logical part of my brain argued and I silenced it down.
Shush, brain, this is my only way. I am doing it for his sake only.
Swallowing hard, I brought my hand up, nodding at my decision, believing it's the only way, and making up my mind as I slapped him. Hard. Probably harder than I've slapped anyone before, and I've slapped my fair share of people throughout the years.
The sound of my palm slamming into his cheek echoed into the small cell and the force of my hit was enough to shake him out of his sleep, his upper body shot forward and his eyes opened up, dazed and in a shocked haze as he stared back at me, utterly bewildered and confused, "What-"
The words hitched in his throat as he tried to drink into the feedback of this situation and I smiled, I couldn't stop my big giddy smile, "I am not even going to deny how good that felt," I said, very much satisfied. Woah, I really should've done this more often.
His throat bobbed, lines etched between his eyebrows as he stared back at me, "You...you slapped me?" He mumbled, not even angry, just so confused and in a haze still, I bet the impact of all those electric shocks didn't leave his body yet.
I nodded, "I had to wake you up somehow," I said, ever so innocently.
I straightened myself and my eyes flickered to his tied-up hands. My lips curled up in annoyance as I bent down and tried to see if I can pull them off, but no chance, they probably thought of the possibility of me helping him that they wrapped them up in a way impossible to break without something sharp. I hefted out a loud breath and moved away from them, "There is no way I am gonna be able to do this."
He nodded his head, his eyelids dropping down again, "I know," He mumbled, so energyless and exhausted.
"So," I crossed my arms over my chest, "How are you going to get them off?"
He shook his head, his eyes opening up, "I don't know," He said, his jaw tightening, wincing as he tried to move his body around, "I just need a...minute to get back to myself," He mumbled, his voice barely audible as it left his strained throat.
"Okay," I mumbled lowly. The possibility of leaving here anytime soon felt so futile after this. He is helpless, and so am I. What the hell am I going to do? What more is his father planning to do? I headed back to sit down on the concrete bench attached to the wall all while cursing this life when my eyes fell again onto the tray of food placed there. I leaned down and picked up the glass of water, turning and going back to him.
"Open your mouth," I ordered, my tone couldn't sound more annoyed than it was now. The things I am gonna have to do to survive this made me want to sit into a corner and cry. I don't want to help him. He will never be my ally, he shouldn't be. He is my enemy, the monster who ruined my life, I don't want to stand on his side, not even in this...
His eyebrows creased, confused, and maybe slightly scared or something, "Why?"
My jaw tightened as I glared at him, "Because I hear when electricity and water meet, terrible things happen," I grumbled out, inching the water to his mouth, "And I am hoping when you drink this, you will explode," I added, half-serious and half-joking.
I didn't leave him time to say something as I pressed the glass's tip to his lower lip, tilting the cup up and letting the water drip into his mouth, washing over his dry throat. It felt tempting and involuntarily, I tipped the glass higher, letting the rest of the water fall right into his face and splash him.
"Oops," I pressed my lips into a thin line to stop myself from smiling again as I retreated the now-empty glass away from him.
He blinked his eyes open, pushing some of the water that washed over his eyelashes away, the muscle of his jaw ticking as he stared back at my delighted expression, "You're enjoying this, aren't you?" He said, his tone still surprisingly calm.
"You? Tied up and helpless?" I nodded my head, "Yeah, very," I edged backward, "But you know what I would enjoy more?" I said, "Going back to my home and family."
He nodded, understanding, "Then, how about you try and break that glass you are holding," He suggested, his eyes falling into the ropes, "And help me get these off."
My eyes widened, "Oh my god, yes, this could work," I said, a bit more excited than I expected myself to be, "But, you need to be fast, the sound of it breaking will make them come back," He warned and I gulped down, the thought of witnessing another torture session made my stomach twist uncomfortably.
My nerves spiked, "How should I do it then?"
"If you can cover it with something and then break it with your feet, like step on it or something, it will make less sound," He suggested and I looked around us, for any type of cloth that could help me but found none.
I looked down at myself, shaking my head, there is no way I am taking off my sweatshirt and staying in the tank top under. My eyes fell back on him, on his shirt and my eyebrow raised, silently suggesting and he nodded, "Okay."
I moved back to his side, biting the inside of my cheek as I leaned closer to him. Something akin to fear clamored my chest and I pressed my eyes shut for a passing second. I wasn't stupid, I know he can't hurt me, not when he is tied up, not when we are stuck in such a terrible situation where we only need to survive. My mind knew that but my heart, it didn't understand logic. It couldn't help but quiver, because it only felt pain whenever he was this close; the only memory it has of him is just...terror and panic.
I tried to control myself. The thought of leaving here and going back to my kids, to Alex, to hold Max and Lilly; I allowed that thought to overcome any other fear, irrational or not. I need to be strong, and do whatever it takes to get out of here, even if it meant helping him, or him helping me.
I unbuttoned his shirt, my jaw tight with agitation, "This is so uncomfortable," I mumbled under my breath, "Believe me, I know," He mumbled lowly, his jaw tight and his eyes looking away, at anything but me as I wrapped one hand over the collar of his shirt, the other on the side and I ripped part of it away, a portion enough for me to cover the glass.
I immediately got up to my feet, ignoring the fact that I just ripped his shirt off...god, I hate everything about this. I moved to the corner, wrapped the glass with the shirt's cloth, and placed it over the floor. I pressed my leg over it, causing pressure but it didn't break yet.
"Move your feet up and then step on it, but be careful," He advised and I did it as he said. I lifted my feet up and with more force, stepped on it. My eyes widened when I felt it crack under my shoes, "It broke," I said, a bit relieved at the fact it didn't make a loud noise as I expected it to do.
I leaned down, removing the cloth away, "Find the sharpest piece," He said and I nodded as I looked at the broken glass, "But be careful not to hurt yourself," He added, his voice lowering and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. I just hate him so much.
I pulled the sharpest piece and went back to his side, crouching down in front of the chair, trying my best not to look at his face as I used the sharp edge to cut down the ropes. It was still a difficult task to accomplish, the ropes' material was so thick. I groaned in annoyance, it will take more time to break through than I expected. One part of the rope broke under my effort, Nikolas moved his arm, harshly pulling at the left part and almost freeing one hand but right at that moment, the sound of footsteps inching closer had my eyes widening as they shot up to Nikolas's face.
He noticed the same thing, "Place it in my hand," He said urgently and I let the glass rest into his palm, his fingers wrapped over it, securing it into his hold before he looked at me and shot out, "Go sit back there," He said, a bit of panic in his tone and I stumbled backward, dropping over the bench, placing my feet in front of the broken glass, hoping to hide it from their sight. If Isaac knows I was trying to help Nikolas, then god knows what he might do...
The metallic door rattled as they opened it, the same men from before stepped inside, around four and this time, they were holding something in their hands, but Isaac stepped in front of them, walking forward and blocking my sight.
My sweaty palms pressed over the cold concrete, my pulse accelerating with every step he took. His eyes drifted from me to Nikolas, his eyebrow raising, "Looks like our sleeping beauty woke up," He mocked, so amused as he paused by his side and two men followed, suit on his steps. The other two behind them were rather busy arranging something. I saw them place a bucket over the ground and I tilted my head to the side, observing more but still couldn't make sense of what was happening or what more is Isaac planning to do.
"I hope you learned a lesson, son," Isaac added, his tone full of mockery as he held Nikolas down with a look that spoke volume, it showed him who he is and what more he is capable of doing, "But I brought you here to teach you more than just one lesson," He added, the corner of his lip lifting up in a smug smirk, promising him of more pain.
With a wave of his fingers, he ushered the two men to move closer. They did as ordered, getting to Nikolas's side, their hands on the ropes, freeing him from their grip for god knows what other twisted purposes they had in mind. Nikolas didn't wait for more, he used the situation to his advantage, I saw the arm that I almost freed, the one with the glass tight in his palm move so fast. My eyes widened as he pulled his upper body up, groaning as he stabbed the guy right ahead of him in the side of the neck, the glass's sharp edge penetrating into his vein, and blood spurred out furiously.
Nikolas didn't give them time to react, his palms pressed over the chair's armrest as he pulled both of his feet up and pressed them into the man's stomach, pushing him backward. The other one attacked him immediately after, but Nikolas clutched the ropes in his free hands and wrapped them around the man's neck, he pulled on each side so tightly. He twisted it into a specific angle after, breaking a bone or something as the man fell into a limp body to the floor.
My hand was pressed over my mouth as I watched, I think seeing him helpless for a couple of minutes made me forget just how strong and ruthless he actually is. But still, he stood no chance, they are more in number and I bet Isaac knew Nikolas was going to try and break free because more men rushed into the cell, crowding the space as they pulled him back, two men at each side, pulling his arms backward and stopping his attack as one of them pressed the electrical device into his back, temporarily blocking his attempt and I looked away, not wanting to witness more of that.
When I looked back at them, Isaac was leaning down and he pulled the glass piece out of his man's neck before he stepped over the body and toward Nikolas, "You keep triggering me and you really shouldn't," He warned, his tone held had an edge but his expression reflected nothing, he couldn't seem less bothered as he took a stop right in front of Nikolas and brought the sharp edge to the side of his neck, to where his scar is and he lightly pressed it there, "Not when I've got the upper hand over you," He added proudly, pressing the edge further into his skin and Nikolas's eyes pressed shut, his jaw tight as Isaac moved his hand, retracing the scar with the glass's sharp edge, drawing so much blood out.
When he finished, he pulled back, discarding the bloodied glass away like it's nothing, his gaze flickering down Nikolas's now-bare chest and his eyebrow raised, "Frank was something alright," He commented in utter merriment, addressing the scars imprinted over his body.
His eyes left him and drifted to me, his eyebrow raised, "Helping him? Seriously?" He questioned in disbelief, "He is the bad guy in your story and I am the good one over here," He left Nikolas's side and stepped closer to me. Nikolas's eyes followed his movement, assessing and trying to predict his next move, "I am the one avenging your pain over here."
I shook my head, "I don't care, I don't want any of this," I said, there was a time when I would've been more than happy to see him getting ripped into pieces, but I really don't care about that anymore, seeing him in pain isn't going to make me forget mine, the whole concept of avenging is sick and stupid, "I just want to go home," I was happy, with my small little life and family, I need no more or less.
Also, I am not going to ignore the fact that Isaac is the same person who shot Alex, he almost killed him, and now he wants to play the hero in my story...bullshit. He is a bigger hypocrite than his very own son.
Isaac shook his head, rubbing a hand over his chin as he eyed me, his gaze so dark and terrifying, it held so much evil, like he could do just anything and he wouldn't care. I've met Frank before, but despite all he did, Isaac still horrified me more at the moment, "I said I am not gonna hurt you but now I am tempted to since you tried helping him-"
"If you dare touch her-" Nikolas growled from behind him, trying to break free from them all but failed, he can maybe kill two men in two seconds, but he can't stop six of them, not with his current weak state anyway.
Isaac whirled around, facing him, "What would you do?" He questioned in pure mockery, "What can you do, anyway?" His eyebrow raised, addressing his defenseless state, "I really did a good thing by bringing her here, huh," He looked so proud, "I would've loved for Natalie to be here, but I really don't want to hurt the girl," He added, "But still, I think bringing Cara here is ought to break you down even faster, you might love Natalie, but she-" He pointed at me, "She will always be much more than just that, isn't she?"
I rubbed a hand over my throat, the nerves wringing me tight at his underlying threat, "Because if she gets hurt again, it's your fault," He said, leaving my side and facing Nikolas, "If she dies, your fault only," I pressed my eyes shut, "Your precious brother could lose his wife again, and whose fault will it be? You, and only you."
"Do you see it? Everything you get close to, Nikolas, everything you touch, it dies, and gets ruined," I said those similar words before and meant them but it felt wrong for this terrible man to be the one saying them to him; he is no better, "Because that's what you are," He added, "A monster, and I am going to prove it today," He is planning something behind all of this, I just don't know what yet, "It's why you are here, to give me the truth," He looked at me, "To give her the truth," I didn't understand, nor did Nikolas, "To finally admit that truth to yourself."
Nikolas's jaw ticked, his eyes glaring back, fire licking over the green, "When I kill you, it's going to be specifically for this," He grated out, venom dripping within his threat.
Isaac scoffed, "Kill me?" His eyebrow raised, "Believe me, no way will my death be on your hands," So confident, he spoke, "The day will come, Nikolas," He edged his head forward, so close to him as he hissed out, "The day will come...and you will kneel before me."
"I kneel to no one." Nikolas grated out, his tone belligerent and his voice harshly hitting the four walls and reflecting back as an echo. I gasped when with one vicious swift motion, he pushed his head forward, brutally slamming it into Isaac's head, without a care of the consequences. Isaac stumbled backward at the impact, his power wavered there for a second; Nikolas's move was ballsy and unexpected, especially when he was held back at the moment and outnumbered.
Isaac gained his balance quickly, his hand slowly went to his temple, where a cut could be clearly seen. He wiped at it, bringing his fingers forward and looking at the blood, if his eyes terrified me before, now they made me cower away in my seat, they looked ready to raise hell over everyone. Nikolas had blood spurring forward from his head as well but he didn't care, for someone who endured pain a lot, he sure looks unthreatened at the moment, but I have a feeling, Isaac is going to make him regret every second of this.
Isaac's jaw tightened, his eyes flickering to his men, and without speaking, they understood. It's all he had to do, one look was enough. One of them used the electrical device again and I cringed, wishing the ground to open and swallow me up. The same pain surged into Nikolas's being again, it vibrated off him in waves as he dropped down into his knees. They used his vulnerable state to place a metallic chain over his wrists, big and heavy. Once they clicked them over his hands, I saw them insert a key, locking it, removing any chance of him ever escaping from these shackles.
My eyes followed the metallic chain, seeing to where it's attached. On the ground, there was a metallic clip, big and hard, binding the long chains to the floor. I shook my head in defeat; we are not getting out of here, are we?
The men moved away, building a small distance between them and Nikolas. Now that he was all shackled up, they no longer needed to contain him. Isaac walked forward, a man on a mission. He stopped when his shoe hit Nikolas's knee, and he bent down, his fingers wrapping over the back of his hair, using it to harshly pull back and tilt Nikolas's face upwards. Both of their eyes met in an intense gaze, and despite all, Nikolas still didn't look the least defeated, he held him back with the same strong glare, a hundred promises and threats swirling in his dangerous eyes, a vow to return the favor later once he's free.
"I am going to break you tonight," He said, a full-on sadist, "And I am going to enjoy every second of it."
"I would love to see you try," Nikolas replied back, giving the other psycho a challenge and I wanted to shout at him to just shut up, to stop triggering him back...does he have a death wish or something, because I don't.
"Oh, you gonna love it alright," Isaac mocked, and one of his men moved a big bucket full of water toward their sides and Isaac moved, settling behind Nikolas, his hand still had a tight grip over his hair, reflecting who is having the upper hand still, "We can call this one uh...a trip down memory lane, shall we?"
****************
Nikolas's POV
Six, seven, eight...
It burns. Like a hot Lava washing over my lungs.
Nine, ten, eleven...
It suffocates, like a tight grip over my throat, rapidly strangling the life out of me.
Twelve, thirteen, fourteen...
It's painful, but pain...pain lets you know you are alive still.
With his tight grip over the back of my hair, he pulled my head backward and removed it from under the water. The oxygen rushed back with full force, a shock to my now weakened lungs, and temporarily blocking my brain from functioning the way it should; everything felt foggy and in a distorted haze. My eyes stayed shut, trying to regain or keep my consciousness afloat, trying to wash the ache away but he waited no more as he pushed my head back into the water for the fifteenth...sixteenth...I don't know, he's been doing this for too long, I've lost count.
It's painful, isn't it? Frank's words echoed in my head again, as if they were coming from somewhere under the water. But be thankful for the pain, because pain, it lets you know you are alive still. He always said that every time he did it.
One, two, three...
And every time, I counted. When the pain started, I started to count, seeing how long the pain will continue, checking if I am alive still. It's when the pain goes away that you should start to worry. He always said.
It is slow and fast at the same time. It is surreal, almost like you can see outside yourself and know what is happening to you, yet you have little control over it.
Four, five...
I know for a fact that doing anything will drag me further down. I've been here before, I've tasted this before. To writhe and fight, to scream...it will only invite more water into my already exhausted lungs.
He pulled my head back, right when I was at the edge of losing the sense of pain, as if he knew the exact timing. Frank knew it too. He always pushed my head into the water enough to feel pain, but not enough to die.
"He did this to you almost every day, didn't he?" I heard Isaac's voice in my ear but I wasn't exactly hearing him, he was getting exactly what he wanted, taking me back down that memory lane because after the tenth time he pushed my head into the water, it was all I can see or hear; Young me, pleading and begging Frank to just stop. My tears would mix with the water dripping down my face and sometimes he would actually stop, it used to make me think that maybe...maybe he had a heart deep down, that maybe he felt bad for me to some extent...but the next day, he would come back again, and we would repeat the same process again.
My eyelids glided open, finally regaining back my control and kicking away the past with its dreadful memories. Isaac let go of my head and they moved the bucket away as he came around to face me, leaning down and resting his hand under my chin, harshly tipping my head backward.
I met his gaze with the same unconquerable look, blinking my eyes slowly and letting the last water droplets fall away. I wasn't going to back away, I refuse to allow him to win, to break me down, it's all he wants. I can't give him that. This is nothing compared to anything I've been through.
My eyebrow raised, and my voice was totally contained, "Is this all you have?" I questioned, indirectly mocking his attempts, "To be honest, I expected more from you."
He understood that, but he didn't seem the slightest threatened by my undefeated state as he spoke, "I know that there is no physical pain I can inflict on you that you haven't already experienced in some form before me," At least he knew, "You know physical pain, Nikolas, you understand it so well," He was stating facts, proving just how well he knows me, "You even become it when necessary," He added, the corner of his lip pulling up into a small smirk, "I know that, son, I didn't meet you just yesterday."
He stared at me for a long second and I wondered what goes on in his mind, what does he really think of me? Why does he hate me with so much passion? "The physical pain is merely a step in breaking you down," He said, his eyebrows creasing, deeply thinking about something, his expression more serious than before, "I just need to physically exhaust you to make you mentally vulnerable," He was explaining to me his trick, and it felt a bit stupid at his side, but he isn't stupid, so what the fuck does he want from all of this, "You know, it's like...removing your defenses, bit by bit...until you're bare and exposed."
I still couldn't comprehend the whole point of this. I still couldn't understand what he wanted from me and that alone was going to drive me crazy.
He moved his hand away from under my chin, his dark eyes flickering to the water he was just using to temporarily drown me, "Do you know that in some cultures, water symbolizes rebirth," He looked back at me, his lips curving a smile, "A bit poetic isn't it," His gaze went to Cara, who was sitting in the furthest corner, cowering away as she watched all of this unfold in front of her, I could feel the terror radiating off her body in waves, "Tonight, in a way, we will be watching your rebirth," His eyebrow raised as he looked back at me, "You see, Frank, made you into something...new," He added, "And ultimately, that's what will come out of today."
My jaw tightened at all of his nonsense, "What do you want?" I grated out.
"I want you to answer a question of mine," He said, as if it's so simple, "What's the darkest part of you?" He carried on, "What's the piece of you that you fear the most?" He added, "What question haunts you more than any other?" He inched his face closer to mine, hissing the words in my face, his tone proving that he knows all these answers but...I didn't, "What is Nikolas hiding from everyone...including himself?"
That's what all of this is about. Not giving him answers. It's about admitting those answers to myself. In a way, if I do...I might really make him win in breaking me down.
He took my attention off his words when he pulled something from inside of his jacket's pocket. He stared at the black torch lighter in his palms, he pressed on the side and blue flames came out of its end, blazing and lethal, "Did you think I was going to let you go after all that you've done," He said, his voice low and rough, "First, you go and tell Joseph about Maria," He finally allowed his eyes to leave the flame and fall on me as he inched his hand forward, one rested over my shoulder, keeping me in place as his other hand brought the menacing torch to the skin of my chest, "Then, you kill Mia and frame me for it."
My eyes pressed shut and I couldn't hold the groan that vibrated off my throat when the fire hit my skin, he wasn't randomly burning any skin in sight, he let the fire lick over the scars and bruises, ruining the already ruined skin, because he knew how much worse that was. I sucked at the air but it had suddenly become thick and was now almost too difficult to draw in as he traced every scar, reminding me of just how excruciating it was to experience them that very first time.
"Then, you so boldly take your mother away...from my very own house," Pain corrupted me in its fingers, wringing me from the inside and the outside. I pressed my eyes so tight and my head fell backward, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't hold back the agonizing scream that tore up my throat as the burning sensation intensified, "You know she is my winning card, it's the only reason I haven't killed her yet," He added, but his words made no sense as my chest twisted, this ache slicing me through to the core and he didn't stop, not even for a mere second, "Don't think I will let you use her to threaten my power, I worked hard enough to be where I am today."
I heard a faint voice, someone asking him to stop and after a few seconds, he finally retreated his hand back, turning the torch off and witnessing the outcome of his action. I heaved for my lost breath but the throbbing over the burned skin was too much to handle, I couldn't even master the energy to let my eyelids glide open, the soreness bringing a bitter metallic taste into my mouth as my head hung low.
I forced my heavy eyelids up, my vision blurry and I blinked again, my jaw tight as I tried to make terms with the pain, slowly letting it take control. I could feel the warmness over my chest consume me whole, the blood dripped down and I felt as each drop washed away, I sensed it prickle behind the surface and heard it as it fell over the cold ground where my knees were planted.
I slightly lifted my head up, my eyes met his, and I forced myself to speak, calling him off on his bullshit, "This is not why you are doing this," My voice came out so low but my tone was so certain and I could taste the blood in my mouth as I shook my head.
"Why then?" He asked, testing me, and I gave him exactly what he wanted.
"You and I know exactly why," I added, still not backing away, "Next time, I will just have to make sure he doesn't make it out of the fire alive."
Just like that and all of his control evaporated into thin air, the string binding his sanity snapped off and a hundred different emotions fought in his eyes, the rage pushing to the forefront. He had his doubts and I just cleared them out, "It was really you!" he growled before I felt his fist slam into my jaw, letting my balance waver but he didn't stop, he sent another one and it was enough to make my upper body flail before I felt his fingers wrap around my neck, the metallic chains rattled as he harshly pushed my body backward and slammed it against the wall, "You really think you would threaten him and I wouldn't go and kill everyone you care about!"
His fingers tightened over my neck, and his eyes darkened in bewilderment, a shade I rarely ever saw on him, proving to me just how valuable that kid is, "Why don't I start by the closest one, huh," His venomous voice had my eyes flickering to his men who stepped closer toward Cara, it had her eyes widening as she stumbled up to her feet, backing away from them.
He loosened his grip over my neck, "Leave her out of this!" I shot out, my hands trying to reach for the chains and I tried to pull at them but even if I was in my full strength, I would still fail to break off this heavy metal, let alone now when my muscles were so weak, "If you do anything," I gritted my teeth, my enraged gaze meeting his, "I swear to god-"
"You can't do a thing," He threw the fact in my face, starting his real mission of breaking me down, first physically and now mentally. The man pulled Cara and even with her attempts to fight him back, he wrapped an arm around her neck from the back, keeping her in place as he pressed the gun's barrel against her temple and my hands shook, my inside shook at the helpless feeling, something in my chest breaking over the mere thought of him actually pulling the trigger.
"Let her go," I grated out again as I tried to push my failing body up to my feet, moving off the wall and as far as the chains could get me but they weren't enough, the fucker keeping me on a leash on purpose, "I will do whatever the fuck you want, just let her go!"
Cara's terrified eyes met mine, silently begging me to do something and I whirled my head to Isaac again, "Let her go, your fight is with me," I snapped, so close to losing my mind at how much helpless and useless I felt at the moment, "I am the one who tried to hurt him not her, you want to burn me, drown me, electrocute me, then fucking do it, do whatever you want, just leave her out of it!"
Isaac stared back at me with full satisfaction, regaining his calm demeanor at my infuriated state, "Sounds fun actually, how about we do this then-" He motioned to someone behind me to do something and a few seconds passed before I felt the brutal agonizing slap of the cane against my bareback. Air caught in my throat and the unexpected sensation had me stumble forward, and almost brought me back to my knees.
"Since you agree on it," Isaac carried on, explaining the reason behind the caning he will subject me to, "I won't hurt her, as long as he keeps using the cane on you," He added, "He won't stop, not for a second even...only then I won't hurt her," He gave me an ultimatum again, "But if you feel that the pain is too much, or you feel like losing your consciousness, you can tell him to stop and he will," He added, so simple, "But be aware that the second he stops...she gets hurt."
I felt the second hit slam into my back, forcing a loud groan to rumble off my chest. I could feel the skin of my back open up, scars that are going to be left by the strikes of the cane are starting to form, "So tell me, son, are you sure with your choice?" He added and my eyes flickered to Cara as the man finally stepped away from her, releasing her, and she backed away, her wide horrified eyes on me as the man sent the third blow, the thick material slamming over the same exact spot as before. This time it was enough to push me back to my knees as the pain surged through every alive nerve in my being.
"Do you want him to stop?" Isaac asked.
Air pushed in and out of my chest, my jaw tight with my anger and pain as my eyes flickered up to him, watching him enjoy every moment of helplessness I was facing. I shook my head, "No," I mumbled and a big smile spread over his lips before he brought his hand to my hair and ruffled it, "Good boy," He mocked.
The fourth hit came, followed by the fifth and the pain tore me up from the outside to the inside, bruising me deep down in places I haven't visited in so long, a very dark traumatic spot, a one locked tight with a big heavy door, but with every hit, the door rattled, threatening to unravel me at the seams, "I will leave him to have his fun with you," I heard him say, but I couldn't face him again not when the sixth hit came and my back arched, the sound of the cane wounded like a plank hitting the wall, "I will be back in a bit to resume my part."
I could hear his footsteps fade away, he left and his man went on and on, one stroke, one minute. Another stroke, another minute. Some lashes fell on the same spot, splitting open the skin even more. Some on different spots, ruining and damaging more parts of me. Looks like Isaac won't stop till he vandalizes whatever pieces of me I still had intact.
The punishment triggered all of my five senses. Awakening every nerve and muscle. The feel of skin breaking, the sound of the cane's material - the thwack - as it slammed against my back, the taste of the blood in my mouth, and the smell of fear, slowly creeping up my inside, the fear that he will win, that he will end up breaking me down.
There is a sting, I felt it, a sharp pain that reverberated outward and inward from the point of impact, but it's compounded by the next stroke he downed on me, which kept coming too quickly for any endorphins to kick in. Then, there is a release - a scream that is physical, emotional, and mental, all at once.
It wasn't just a scream, but a cry of pure agony.
The pain was familiar and foreign altogether. New, fresh but also triggering an ancient ache I thought I would never ever have to face again, not with Frank dead the least. The oxygen felt like it was leaving my body, threatening to knock me further down. My brain flailed between consciousness and unconsciousness. My gaze flickered to Cara briefly, scared of how she was witnessing all of this firsthand.
My vision was all blurry but I saw her, curled into a small ball by the furthest corner, hugging her knees before she buried her face into them, blinding herself from this sight and reality. I don't know if I was hallucinating, or the pain had drugged my brain so brutally but I think a saw a few tears trickle down her face.
I blinked, trying to keep myself awake but failed with every attempt. The pain was starting to fade leaving me with numbness only.
Pain lets you know you are alive. That was a big lie. I've been feeling pain since the day I opened my eyes to this world yet never did I feel alive.
But with her, I did though. For fleeting seconds and moments, I felt alive. With her innocent smiles and looks of adoration, I felt human. With her tender delicate touch, I felt like a man and not a monster.
He didn't stop, not even when I was clearly seconds away from crashing down into the cold damp floor. The door in my chest got pushed open and ripped apart, dragging me to face so much at once, face every pain and trauma I never had a chance to deal with, forcing me to stand in front of the monster and look him in the eye. It was like looking into a mirror, staring at the darkest, most twisted piece of yourself...the one containing sick corrupted thoughts you can't even admit to yourself.
Deep down, I think I knew what truth exactly he was looking for.
I don't for how long I was up in my head, trying to exclude myself far away from this reality. It felt like too long. Like he's been flogging me for hours...
A splash of freezing cold water hitting my face was enough to snap my eyes open again, my mind returning from that path, closing the door as I forcefully regained my consciousness back. My strangled lungs tried to heave the needed oxygen in but everything and everywhere ached. My gaze lifted up, meeting his again. He was back and the caning stopped now but the pain over my back proved how it will stick with me for days and days to come.
"You handled yourself well," Isaac commented, staring down at me with full pleasure.
I could no longer force myself to prove that I am undefeated, I couldn't master the power to look him in the eyes longer than a second or two. My head hung low, energy less and exhausted. My eyes focused on my shackled hands, understanding how no matter how long I run away from it, or how bad I try to fight it, this was my destiny.
"Now, I am hoping you understood that you can't threaten me, Nikolas," He added and I didn't even build up the energy to talk back, "And if you still didn't comprehend that yet, I need you to remember that I have a long list of people I can kill and torture in this exact same way."
"Everyone around you is at risk," He added before he dropped a picture in front of me, letting loose of the last string holding my broken being together, "Including your very own son."
The picture reached the ground, landing and falling right under my path of sight. My eyes gazed into it, into the person it held inside it and every nerve in my body hurled - pressed and pulsed with crushing pain, one more intense than any physical torture he could inflict on me.
"Maxwell, right?" He asked, checking, "Small little Max," He added, probably wickedly smiling, "What would you feel now if I were to set him on fire as well?"
His words, adding to the fact that this is the first time I am actually seeing his face, the first time to witness how he looks like. This whole situation in general, it had a tear trickle down the corner of my eyes and fall over the picture.
Cara was cursing him somewhere in the background, threatening him to steer away from her kid...my kid. My kid...and also not mine. My heart skipped a beat, it cracked under the affliction as I slowly brought my shackled hands to the picture, my shaking fingers resting over his small tiny face, caressing it through thin paper, because it's the only way I'll ever be able to.
Another tear fell down, clashing over the photo and I wiped it away, smoothing the wrinkled paper, not wanting anything to taint something so pure and beautiful. My eyes drifted back to him as he just watched me, studied me, "Do you love him?" He asked, just curious, "Like a father's love...do you feel it?" He squinted his eyes, "Because I never felt that toward you...and I tried to, believe me, but I just," He shrugged, so casual, "...couldn't."
His head tilted to the side, "Do you love him, or do you sometimes deep down wish he just never existed?" He asked, "Because his mere existence is a proof of your sin, of your failure," He added, "Forever there to remind you of everything; of what you did, of who you are, of how you have no right over him, of how much he'll hate you if he ever was to learn the truth."
His lips curled up in pity, "See, it would've been so much easier if he just didn't exist."
I shook my head, "I would never think like that," I said the only truth I know, "I am not you."
He nodded, "Of course, you're not. Frank made you more like him," He said the one bitter fact I spent my whole life running away from, "The only difference is...Frank never tried to live two lives like you try to do, he never tried to balance between the man and the monster," He called me out on my attempts to live normally, to be...normal, "Do you think it will work?" He mocked, "Do you think you can go outside, kill and ruin, hurt everyone and anyone, then go back home to your sweet innocent girlfriend like nothing ever happened," He shook his head, "Let me get you in on a new information; the likes of us, son, they don't get the girl."
My jaw ticked, his words hitting a nerve and he carried on, "I was smart enough to know that, to steer away from her," Lines etched between his eyebrows, "Why can't you be smart too? You see, even when it comes to love, you are selfish, just like Frank was...he was whipped by your mother at first, playing the prince charming role like you were doing with Natalie, but when she rejected him, we all saw what he did," He was starting to cross a dangerous territory and I could sense where this was heading.
"Is that what you will do?" His eyebrows pulled closer in fake worry, "Now that she left you, will you do to Natalie what you did to Cara-"
"Shut up-"
He shook his head, "Come on, don't be shy, we are just bonding over here, father and son," He added sarcastically and my pulse accelerated, alarms blaring in my head, "You can't tell me that not even for once you had the thought of doing it to her-"
"Shut up I said!" I grated out, my body shooting forward, enraged at the insinuation.
"I mean it's who you are deep down, it's your truth...a rapist, no less, no more," He carried on, his words sucking all the air from my lungs, "It's what you witnessed for more than two years, right?" He wasn't waiting for an answer, "Watching him as he raped your mother, over and over again, I mean that alone is ought to breed it deep down in your bones, it's ought to define the man - or the monster you are today..."
My chest heaved, struggling, fighting, and breaking, all at once. I couldn't speak. I couldn't defend my sins. I couldn't -
"You know what I wondered always," He wasn't going to stop. It was enough, just enough already...the physical torture, the mental abuse to trigger my past, the threats against Cara and Max, and now this...it's more than enough to break me down. It's enough to unleash the wild rage I've been keeping under tight control since those two years ended. It's enough to unleash the monster and bring him back...
"When your mother was saved and you stayed, did he...did he continue doing it to you?" He asked, utter amusement flickering in the dark of his eyes.
Flashes of that tainted past came rushing back with full force, pushing to the forefront of my memories and eluding me of any control or strength.
He shrugged, like it was so casual, "I mean he wouldn't do it by himself, because eww nephew and all, but he made someone do it to you, didn't he?"
My lack of answer had him smiling, his lips curling up in delight, "You're smiling?" My voice barely made it out. He was so close now, I am teetering right on the edge...
He nodded, "Yeah," His grin grew even wider, "True, I was always the mastermind, but Frank, oh, Frank, he was creative," He chuckled, "He was the one to cross all limits," He added, his eyebrow raising, "No wonder you're so fucked up, my dear son."
I couldn't speak as I stared back at him. He was mocking my pain. My trauma; the one etched to my soul, he was enjoying every bit of it.
"I was just a kid...what did I do to you then that made you hate me so much?"
He shrugged, "I don't know, I just hated you," His expression shifted the longer he gazed back at me, "You were so much like her, you even look like her and god knows how much I loath your mother," He rolled his eyes, shaking the thought of her away, "You are just everything that I didn't want you to be."
I shook my head, "You just wanted a heir."
He nodded, "And you were never going to be that."
"And he will be?"
He nodded, "Of course," He said, so confident, "The very first time I looked at him, I felt it...unlike how it was with you."
My jaw ticked, "You say I am fucked up," I grated out, "But you are a whole other version of that."
He shook his head, "Not exactly," He said, "At least I don't run away from my truth, Nikolas," He took a couple of steps backward, "You still didn't answer my question and I am getting tempted to really hurt her this time, so tell me, come on, say it, tell me your truth-"
"What fucking truth!" I growled out, getting fed with his mind games, fed up with everything as I struggled up to my feet, my aching body operating on anger and rage as I steadied myself on two feet, pushing at the chains, needing to get out of here, now, fast.
"You know what Robert, maybe we can use that cane on her, maybe then he will speak-"
"No!" I shot out, stepping forward, I was going to lose my sanity, "You said you'll leave her out of this!"
"Then tell me the truth!"
"I don't know what the fuck you want me to say!" I snapped, my voice bellowed into the small cell.
He took a step closer, his eyes held mine in a smoldering gaze, "Tell me, when you hurt your brother and his wife, when you saw their pain, what did you feel?" He directly spoke this time, letting go of the mind games, "When you got everything you wanted, how did it feel like?"
"When you left her, a broken mess on the bed, and looked over to see your brother broken over his dead wife as well, what did you feel!"
No. My truth is dark. It is awful. It is terrifying.
"Tell me, Nikolas, what did you feel?!"
"I liked it!" I shot back, my voice loud, slamming into the four walls and coming back with an agonizing echo that will haunt me forever, "I liked it -" I repeated my words, my voice so low, the truth of what I just said slapped me back in the face, showing me who I truly am and who he thinks of me. My terrified gaze met his again and the words escaped me a third time, a mere whisper as I felt a lone tear trickle down my cheek, "I liked it."
"Of course you did, you reveled in their pain and that part of you exists, is still does and it will always be there," It's true, so true, "And if you unleash it, it will do it again, you will hurt your beloved brother again, and even when it will pain you because truth be told...you love him in a way, it's more of a childhood hope...a good part of you that once existed, that you held into, but despite all of that, you would still enjoy his pain just as much."
I would, won't I?
"It's what Frank embedded in you."
He did.
"You love pain, you love inflecting it, especially on those closest to you, it's a drug, you can detox from it but one slip, and you're back to square one," He added, "So, no matter how long you keep yourself away from it, you're bound to slip one time, you're bound to unleash the monster and have him ruin everything in his wake and it will be more disastrous this time because he was trapped for too long. The longer, the more damage."
"You can't change, Nikolas, you can't extract something that is in your foundation, in your bones and blood. You can't take it out without having all of you unraveling down."
One step closer and he was in my face, spitting truths and facts, "You need to stop hiding behind him, because there is not a monster and a man inside of you, Nikolas. They're one and the same."
************************************
And we can officially say that Isaac broke Nikolas down.
A small little note: The truth he said isn't actually the truth. Nik's secret isn't that he likes hurting them, it's that he believes he likes it. And there is a vast different between the two.
Maybe it won't make much sense to you now, but there is a specific chapter that will come near the end of this book, where it actually summarizes in specific who Nikolas really is. It will be like a focused medical/psychological look into him. (You will get what I mean later on)
Anyway, this chapter exhausted my brain.
Tell me what you think of it, and don't forget to leave your opinion.
See ya later! :)