Adrien's POV
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Marinette wasn't wearing a jacket. She was shivering - her bluebell eyes were wide as two marbles, her cheeks were splotched with red, and her teeth were chattering. I hated seeing her cold - or in any form of discomfort. It was wrong of me to keep her out here.
Even though she probably didn't realize she was trembling, I was painfully aware and it was undoubtedly going to bother me for the duration of this conversation.
I slipped off my jacket and draped it over her shoulders. Her body stilled with the sudden warmth enclosing her. Now I could focus again. She gave a slight nod as if to thank me. There was no need for thanks - this was my obligation.
"So...seriously...who are you? Where do I know you from?" She asked, her eye twitching in the slightest.
"Doesn't matter," I said, rubbing my hands along her shoulders.
"But ..." she began.
I told myself I'd stop touching her lips, but it was easier said than done. I think I had an addiction - something I'd promised myself to break - just not today, or tomorrow.
I'd lived an entire year without her - I wanted to meet her in the same way I did in the previous world, hoping that it'd spark some type of memory. Overall, my efforts had failed and perhaps my waiting had gone to waste. The moment I reset the time-stream, I should have run to her - even if she didn't know who I was. Instead, I stayed away, only watching her from a distance.
She swatted my fingers away from her mouth, looking adorably frustrated. Maybe it was better she didn't remember who I was and all those horrible ways I used to degrade and embarrass her. I often wondered why she even liked me. What did she see in me and what kept her coming back? Even though I had access to her mind - I still was unable to reach a solid conclusion.
Felix was someone she should never remember. He was someone I wasn't proud of. From now on, I wasn't going to hide behind one of my middle names. I'd embrace the fact that I was Adrien and I was named after my mother's dead lover.
"Stop doing that," she said, attempting to rub my touch off her lips. Right oncue, blush splattered her cheeks.
I smirked - she hadn't changed much and I was pleased to see I could still paint her cheeks by a single stroke of my finger. Poor thing. She was so frustrated and confused.
"Go back inside," I said.
"No! Not until I get answers!"
Always so stubborn.
"You'll just have to learn to live with disappointment," I scoffed, guiding her back into her house.
"No! I feel like I know you! Like we've met! But I don't know!" She squirmed.
"Goodnight, Marinette," I said, attempting to smile, "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Felix!" She yelped.
"Wrong person," I said, before striding down the alley.
The walk home was long, but I needed the time to think.
"This is funny to you, isn't it?" I said.
I've killed her once, I'll do it again. The Eel hissed.
"You are a mere parasite to me. Never again will you control my body," I said.
One entire year - I had to live with the voice of the Eel. I'd managed to control him, but he was very annoying. He was the one who had killed Marinette, but he was also the one who helped me save her - or at least I was able to high-jack his power. I'd meant to reset the world to a few days before I was possessed, but instead, I'd set the world back an entire year. A year before Marinette would intern at Agreste Inc.
The previous timeline died - it technically never happened - just like the timeline before that. There was a total of three worlds that had existed - and this was the third.
The first was a decent one - I'd met Marinette in grade school and we were friends. She dated Luka for a time before they broke up, and we were in a two mouth relationship...until I died. The Eel possessed me - attempting to bring his wife back - he planned on using Marinette's body as a vessel for his wife's spirit.
Marinette had cast the spirit away from her and into me - my body was overwhelmed from containing two spirits and I died. Just before I was completely brain dead, the Eel used my remaining energy to destroy the timeline and start again. Except he started the world to the beginning of my birth unintentionally.
The second world was unkind. Marinette's family was much poorer and I never met her as a child. Our first meeting was in the elevator of Agreste Inc. This was the previous world - the world where I was unbearable and the world where I watched her die.
Yes, I had vague memories of the first world while I was in the second world (although the Eel did his best to suppress those memories to keep me from finding her). Yet, I knew Marinette - I somewhat remembered her - the more I was with her, the more the Eel lost his power and I regained those suppressed memories.
Perhaps that's why I didn't cast her away. But I wasn't sure if she was the same girl from the first world, so I had to keep her at a distance and observe her character. As it turned out, she was indeed the same and while she had no memory of our previous life (since only the holder of the Eel could recall previous worlds) , she behaved consistently as before. And she still liked me, even though I was intolerable compared to how I was before.
Now we were in the third world - hopefully this one turned out okay. One thing was for sure - I needed to destroy the Eel before he destroyed me or Marinette. Before he ruined this world.
There was only one way to successfully defeat the Eel. To destroy one thing, I'd have to destroy everything. I just wasn't sure if Marinette was ready for that.
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"Good morning," Marinette said, shifting her weight between her legs as if she was uneasy in my gaze.
"Hi," I said, with a chin gesture. She was wearing a violet dress that hugged her frame to an appropriate degree - it was professional, yet very attractive. Another bad habit of mine: taking my time in letting my eyes wonder over her outfits. I promised myself I'd stop - just not today or tomorrow.
She seemed uncomfortable and I immediately refocused my gaze to her eyes.
"Nice dress," I said, allowing myself one last look.
"Thanks," she said, her voice ending on a high note. She must be feeling awkward from last night - I knew I sort of crossed some lines by befriending her father and inviting myself over.
But I hadn't been with her family in so long, that I felt I was going insane. Yes, it was selfish of me, but Mr. Dupain-Cheng disliked me last world, so I wanted to secure my position as a member of the family. And it seemed to be working.
"Would you like some tea?" I asked, trying to make her ease up a bit.
"I'm sorry!" She quipped, clasping her hands together.
"For what?" I asked, feeling amused.
"For saying all the things I said last night. I didn't mean to be rude or accuse you of anything. Just please don't come over to our house anymore. Or at least not when I'm around," she said, staring at the ground.
What? Great. Just great. I suppose I did come on rather strong.
"I see."
There was a long moment of silence. I didn't mind silence - it gave me time to think or refocus my mind. Marinette, on the other hand, seemed to completely fall apart in the presence of a conversational pause.
"Did I offend you?" She asked quickly.
"No," I said, "I understand where you're coming from."
"So, like ...are we..." she stammered, "good? Like it's not awkward?"
"Sure," I shrugged.
"I mean it's not like I don't like you!" She quipped.
This was the part where she overexposed herself and said way more than she ought to - as a result, it was my favorite part. She was very entertaining and I liked how red her face would become.
"That's good to know," I said with a smirk.
"Wait! That's not what I meant to say! I'm saying I don't not like you," she said, the pink in her cheeks was now clashing with her dress.
"You don't have to do this to yourself," I said, at least giving her the option to tame her tongue. But Mari always made things worse for herself.
"But you're my boss! So, there should be a line! So, I like you, just not like that! That's what I'm trying to say."
I rose from my desk and strode past her over to get my second cup of green tea.
"Well, I do like you like that. In fact, I'm going to marry you," I said, casually waiting for the steaming water to boil.
And just like that I'd caused my poor little Kitten to overheat. She had no words or comebacks or anything.
"I don't expect you to feel this way about me now. But I have a good feeling you will," I said.
Our minds were joined still - despite the change of time and space, the Silver Akuma's bond between us was still there. I knew she'd come around to me. After all, who could ever understand her the way I did? My confidence of her pending feelings was justified.
She swallowed hard, suddenly looking angry.
"That's very inappropriate for you to say! You don't know me or what I plan to do or if I'm ever getting married. That's not...just no..."
I sighed. I really should back off.
"My bad. I'll refrain from expressing the full extent of my thoughts," I said.
She seemed uneasy again. How was it that I had a second chance to start over and I was already falling back into my old, cocky ways? Felix was dead to me. I was Adrien. I couldn't blow my second chance at a life with this woman. So far, I'd done nothing but make her feel uncomfortable and put words in her mouth.
"I'm sorry," I said, striding towards her, making direct eye contact, "I told myself I'd be better, but I guess I'm still him."
She blinked quickly.
"I'll refrain from crossing any more lines without your permission," I said.
I hoped I'd be able to keep my promise - it was hard when she was so spirited. I couldn't help but crave her presence and miss her in her absence.
I did it before, I'll do it again. The Eel hissed.
"Shut up," I scoffed.
"Excuse me?" Marinette huffed.
"Not you. I was talking to...never mind," I said, realizing that there was no way to explain this.
"You have voices in your head or something?" She questioned.
"Actually, yes," I said, with a dead serious expression.
She suppressed a laugh, covering her lips with her hand.
"You think my mental disturbances are funny?" I questioned.
"No!" She quickly said, before snorting.
Very cute.
"Now I'm offended," I said, with a smirk.
"I'm sorry!" She laughed even harder, holding her stomach. Tears bubbled at the corner of her eyes, "It's just ..."
I did it before, I will do it again. The Eel repeated.
The Eel embedded a vision of Marinette's dead body. Me holding her. The blood pouring from all the places she'd been stabbed. It was a horrible image that often replayed in my mind. It was my body who stabbed her until her lungs flooded. Even though the Eel was in control, I was still the one who did it.
"Are you okay?" Marinette said, growing serious as she placed an arm on my shoulder, "You're shaking."
I shoved off her grasp.
"Please get some work done. I'm fine," I said, rushing towards my office's bathroom.
I did it once, I'll do it again!
"Shut up!" I shouted, falling to my knees and clasping my head. I felt a pounding headache coming on.
You're the reason she died. Your hands spilled her blood. What makes you think this world will be any different?
"Get out! Get out!" I shouted.
Your minds are still joined. The Silver Akuma bond has not faded across time. She will remember everything you were and all you did to her.
My vision was blurring - all I could see everywhere I looked was her blood. It was all over me. On my hands, dripping down my neck, pouring from my mouth, seeping out of my ears, and leaking from my eye sockets. Her death was in me. Drowning me. For as long as I lived, I couldn't depart from this blood. It was a permanent stain.
I heard a knock on the door.
"Are you okay in there?" Marinette's voice rung.
"I'm fine," I said, trying to calm my tone.
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When would she remember me? The day she remembered what I did? Would she reject me? Would she cast me out of her life? Our mental link was so much weaker now, so perhaps my subconscious would not enter her mind. Perhaps, she would never remember who I was.
I sat from nearby building, watching her sleep through her window. Yes, it was technically 'creepy' - but she was home alone tonight since her parents were out of town, catering a party in another city. I had to make sure she was safe, so I'd decided I'd watch her for a while.
Another bad habit - I occasionally followed her home from work as Chat Noir to make sure she made it back safely - or at least that's what I used to do in the previous world. Perhaps I was slightly overprotective - another issue I needed to resolve.
It'd been four hours and she was sleeping soundly.
She will remember. The Eel said.
"No, she won't," I said.
It's already happening. And you can't undo it.
Suddenly, her eyes popped wide open. She sat straight up in bed, out of breath. Her hair was all messed up and her shirt was wrinkled. She rose to her feet and began to pace the floor as if she was frightened and was trying to calm herself down.
Then she stared at me. Wait, how did she see me? Technically my body was covered behind this roof. It must be my darn neon green cat eyes that gave me away.
For a moment, there was sheer terror on her face. I flung myself over to the window and pushed it open.
I stood to my full height once inside.
Her entire body trembled.
"Stay away from me," she said, her knees weakened and she fell to the ground.
"Marinette," I said.
She shook her head.
"What do you remember?" I questioned.
"Everything," she curled herself to a quivering ball. Car lights flashed through the window, casting light across her. It created a strobing effect.
"And?" I probed.
"I hate you," she cried, tears immediately pouring, "I hate you so much."
I lowered my head. I deserved this.
"I'm truly apologetic," I mumbled, leaning myself against the wall. Truly, I needed the support.
"I hate you," she weeped. She repeated it, again and again. Like a broken record - each time carrying more emotion and pain, "I hate you."
I stood there - watching her cry. I tried to enter her mind, to understand what she was thinking, but our mental link was so weak, that all I could sense was her basic emotion of anger. All those tears were caused by me. I was the one who hurt her and killed her. She may never forgive me and that would be justified.
"I hate the way you made me feel so unlovable," she choked, "Unwanted. Undeserving. You acted like I was an idiot for so long. I gave you my heart and all you tried to do was control me," she gasped, "You never listened to me!"
My throat tightened.
"Why did I even love you?" She cried, burying her face into her hands, "Felix. Felix. Felix! Why would I ever love you?"
"I don't know," I said, in a low voice, "But you were the first person who did."
Prior to her, there was no color to me. There was no happiness or sadness, no yellow or blue. Actually there was nothing at all. It was a silent, grey world full of faceless people, none of which I cared for.
The first emotion I experienced (after a long time of being numb) was sadness. It was the day on the elevator. Her eyes were such a deep blue - much like the ocean before a storm.
The ocean was a lifeless expanse of nothingness - a void that extended so far before disappearing behind the earth. That horizon - the one place of golden light - never to be reached. It was unbelievably sad. I realized soon that I was the ocean, and she was my horizon. Unreachable. Never fully mine. Far away.
Now she was realizing just how cruel and heartless the ocean actually was. The horizon was too good for the dark waters - which was why the ocean reached far and wide, circling the world again and again - trying to follow the light, but never able to obtain it. The further I voyaged, the faster the horizon fled, until I realized that I'd travelled around the world in eighty days, only to find that ended right where I'd begun.
Marinette wiped her tears and snot, before glaring at me.
"Get out of my room," She said, pointing her finger.
I ended right where I'd begun. Without her.
I nodded.
"I never want to see you again," she said.
Well-deserved. Right where I'd begun.
"Okay," I whispered.
I positioned myself to leap from the window, sending one last glance her way, hoping she'd change her mind and call me into her embrace. But she was dead set. I obeyed her - casting myself forward into the night. I must respect her wishes for once and stifle my urges to see her today, tomorrow, and every day after that.
Right where I'd begun. Without her.
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