I wanted salvation
But instead, I became a prisoner of despair.
I wanted to shout
But no one was there to listen.
The warmth
That always wrapped around me,
The loneliness and longing
That keeps knocking at me like rain,
The pain
That couldn't hide my empty soul
Lift me and lead me here.
A place
Which now became a cold place
Like a tomb.
A place
Which is filled with sad screams.
It has now become a nightmare
Which feels like a deeper hole
Where I'm trapped
Broken, torn up and scarred.
~ Ayana.
■■■
"Ma'am!"
Running behind Ayana, Ciam called her.
"Yes?"
Ayana looked at him. Her eyes were covered with dark circles. Yesterday she had late night surgeries and after that, she had to stay the night at the hospital. She barely got any sleep.
"About yesterday's surgery, I had a question."
Ciam asked about the surgery he assisted Ayana with.
"Weren't you supposed to ask any questions related to it yesterday?"
Ayana frowned. She just wanted to go home and lie on the bed. She was beyond exhausted.
"Why are you asking now?"
Ciam looked down nervously. After the surgery, instead of studying about it, he directly went to bed and slept.
"Anyways, ask away. Be quick."
Saying Ayana started walking followed by Ciam.
While answering the questions of Ciam, Ayana was walking towards the exit when suddenly she halted seeing the familiar person in front of her. Ciam also stopped walking and then following Ayana's gaze looked at the front only to spot an unfamiliar woman.
"I'll answer the rest of your questions tomorrow. For now, you can go."
Ayana looked at Ciam who nodded before walking away.
"Long time no see."
The woman, Nila, walked towards Ayana with a smirk.
"Indeed. It's been so long since we last saw each other."
Ayana nodded as an acknowledgment.
"Welcome back."
"Thank you."
"The director must be in his office. You can go and greet him."
Saying Ayana was about to brush past her when Nila spoke.
"I heard about it. About what happened to you and..."
Looking at Ayana, she said.
"... Zafar."
Ayana froze in her place.
"I would be lying if I say I wasn't shocked to learn about how your love story turned out to be a tragic story."
Ayana clenched her fist.
"Who's she? I have never seen her before."
Ciam, who was standing a bit away, asked one of the nurses.
"She's Dr. Nila. The director's daughter."
The nurse informed him.
"She went abroad for further studies."
"She and Dr. Ayana had been a rival since their college days."
The nurse added.
"Rival?"
"Dr. Ayana has always scored first in the exams whereas Dr. Nila was the second."
The nurse added.
"Even now Dr. Ayana is considered as the best pediatrician of the hospital whereas Dr. Nila is the second best."
"I thought Ayana Ma'am is the only pediatrician in the hospital."
Confusedly, Ciam looked at the nurse.
"She was. But not anymore."
Eyeing Dr. Nila, the nurse, spoke.
"Seems like you haven't changed a bit, Nila."
Walking towards them, Deira said with a bitter smile.
"Always the gossiper, aren't you?"
"Deira! Good to see you."
Looking at Deira, Nila forwarded her hand.
"I would have said 'likewise' but unfortunately I'm not that happy to see you."
With a tight smile, Deira shoved her hand.
"Even you didn't change."
Nila chuckled.
"Always the spokesman for her, aren't you?"
"That's what friends are for. To stand for each other and have each other's back when needed."
Deira said with a smirk making Nila fume.
"You wouldn't know that as you don't have any friends."
"You-"
"The director is already pissed off about your sudden return."
Cutting her off, Deira said.
"I'm sure you wouldn't want to make him angrier by being late to meet him."
"I'll deal with you later."
Glaring at Deira, Nila went to meet her father.
"Are you alright?"
Once Nila went away, Deira softly asked Ayana.
"Fine."
Ayana nodded before gratefully looking at Deira.
"Thanks."
"Anytime."
Deira smiled back.
"Going back home?"
"Yeah-"
A message beeped on Ayana's phone. Reading it, she looked at Deira.
"Not anymore. I have to meet someone before going home."
"Who?"
"Will tell you later. Allah Hafiz. See you tomorrow."
Without waiting for her reply, Ayana left the hospital leaving Deira confused.
♧♧♧
As soon as Ayana entered the cafe, she spotted Zaid waving his hand towards her.
"Hi!"
"Hey! You look..."
Eyeing Ayana's tired face, Zaid tried to think of the right word to say.
"Horrible?"
Ayana laughed.
"I know."
"No. You just look tired and sleep-deprived."
Zaid said guiltily.
"I'm sorry for asking you to meet me so suddenly. If I knew you were so worn out I wouldn't have-"
"It's alright. Moreover, I was just going back home. Yesterday night I had to stay at the hospital. That's why I look like this."
Ayana added.
"Btw what did want to talk about-"
Ayana's smile ceased as her eyes fell on a familiar figure.
Zaid's mother.
It's not like she hated her or something. It's just that she didn't like Zaid's mother much. Somehow Zaid's mother always makes her uncomfortable. Moreover, the day before yesterday she had a mini argument with her mother, Mrs. Malik over Zaid's mother. Mrs. Malik told Ayana to think over it again before fixing the alliance with Zaid. She didn't like Zaid's mother nature and when she expressed her thoughts to Ayana, Ayana got worked up. And after the argument, Mrs. Malik accepted Ayana's wish and the very same day fixed the alliance with Zaid.
"Assalamualaikum, aunty! How are you? I'm sorry I didn't notice you."
"Waalaikumussalam!"
Zaid's mother smiled.
"I'm fine. How about you?"
"Alhamdulillah, good. I'm sorry that you had to see me in this state."
Embarrassedly, Ayana spoke.
"It's alright, dear. Please sit down."
Zaid pulled out the chair for Ayana. After thanking him, Ayana sat down whereas Zaid sat beside his mother.
"I was shopping in the nearby mall and suddenly thought of you so I told Zaid to call you here."
Zaid's mother said.
"Oh, I see."
Not knowing how to respond, Ayana awkwardly nodded.
"Yeah. I was shopping when I thought of shopping for Zaid's engagement but then remembered that the date is still not fixed."
Zaid's mother taunted.
"Look, dear, I'll be straightforward with you."
"Two days ago when yours and Zaid's engagement date was fixed, I wanted to prepare the invitation cards and distribute them immediately to my friends and relatives but your mother stopped me. She said she would prepare the invitation cards. I gladly accepted it."
"I already informed my relatives and friends. But the card, I couldn't give them. Why? Because your mother didn't prepare the cards yet. It's already been two days still the cards aren't prepared."
Zaid's mother added.
"Aunty, I'm sorry for keeping you waiting."
Ayana informed.
"My brother's wife is a bit sick now so everyone is worried about her. And while taking care of her, mom didn't get time to prepare the cards. But yesterday, she ordered the cards. The cards will be prepared by tomorrow."
For the past few days, Reeha wasn't feeling well and Mrs. Malik was busy taking care of her which is why she forgot to order the cards earlier.
"The cards should be delivered to me by tomorrow."
Rudely, Zaid's mother said before adding,
"There's a lot of proposals waiting for my Zaid."
"Mom-"
Zaid tried to stop his mother who ignored him.
"But I rejected them. Because of you. Because my Zaid liked you. But seeing your family's carelessness I'm now having second thoughts about the alliance."
"I..."
Ayana was irritated now but still, she kept her composer not wanting to be disrespectful.
"I'll talk with my mother."
"You better do it."
Haughtily saying, Zaid's mother stood up and then left the cafe. Excusing himself, Zaid ran after his mother.
Exhausted, Ayana sighed when her eyes caught one of the shopping bags that Zaid's mother mistakenly left. Picking up the bag, she went out to hand it over to Zaid's mother.
♧♧♧
"Mom!"
Running after his mother, Zaid called her.
"What was that? How could you speak so rudely with her?"
"I wasn't rude with her. I just spoke my mind."
Turning towards her son, she said.
"Moreover, what did I say wrong? Whatever I said was true. The engagement date is fixed after ten days but still, now the cards aren't ready. And her family, they are so ignorant about it."
"When we went to fix the alliance, I gave her a ring. My gold ring."
Zaid's mother added.
"And what did they give you? Except for a Rolex watch, what did they give you? Nothing. I can't believe these rich people's stinginess."
"Mom! They were not prepared, that's why..."
"Anyways, I don't want to talk about the past."
Cutting Zaid off, his mother said,
"Tell her that for the engagement, you want the ring to be of diamond or platinum. If not then you'll break the engagement."
"Mom! I don't want to break the engagement. I really like her."
Zaid argued. More than her, Zaid liked Ayana's adaptive nature. She will easily be suppressed. That's what he thought about her. Little did he know how wrong he was.
"My son, even I don't want to break the engagement. But if her family doesn't listen to us, then I'll have to break the alliance."
Holding her son's hand, Zaid's mother said.
"There's a lot of girls waiting there who want to marry you. And Saida,"
Indicating about the girl, who likes Zaid, Zaid's mother continued.
"She likes you so much. Although her family isn't that rich like The Malik's, still they'll give us anything in dowry if we ask."
"I always preferred Saida's family over The Malik's but because of you, because you like that girl Ayana, I agreed for the alliance. But if her family doesn't fulfill my demands, then I'll have to break the alliance."
Lightly patting Zaid's cheeks, his mother said.
"So if you want to get married to her, then tell her to convince her family to give us the things we demand. Am I clear?"
"Okay, I will."
Being a mama's boy, Zaid nodded, breaking Ayana's heart, who accidentally listened to the mother and son's whole conversation.
Without making any scene, she went inside the cafe and sat in her place.
A couple of minutes later Zaid came back and sat opposite her.
"I'm sorry for the way my mother behaved. I apologize on her behalf."
"Mr. Zaid, I..."
Ayana was too tired and drained to argue with anyone.
"Can we... Can we talk about it later? I want to go home... I'm not feeling well."
"This quick?"
Zaid looked at her. His mother's words replayed in his mind. By any means, he needs to bring the dowry topic and ring matter to Ayana.
"I'm sorry. Let's talk later."
Saying Ayana was about to get up when Zaid stopped her.
"Ms. Ayana, wait."
Ayana looked at him.
"I want to talk about something important."
"Can't it wait?"
Ayana looked at him praying that he doesn't bring the dowry topic now. Because if he did, then she would definitely lose her calm. And now, in front of a bunch of people, she didn't want to make a scene.
"No. I need to tell you now only."
Zaid insisted.
"About the engagement ring, I want either a diamond or a platinum ring."
Zaid repeated the exact words of his mother.
"Also except the reception, I want the other functions to be arranged solely by your family."
"Excuse me?"
"Me and my mother, we both want all the functions to be arranged by your family. Also, here's a list."
Passing her a list, Zaid added.
"For the wedding, we would like those as gifts."
For a moment, Ayana was totally speechless seeing the audacity of Zaid to demand dowry so shamelessly. Composing herself, she asked,
"What if my parents... I don't want to give any of these things?"
"Then I'll break the alliance."
Shamelessly Zaid uttered.
"What?"
"Honestly, neither you nor your parents are in a position to deny us."
"I mean you only think about it. If the alliance is broken, then I won't face any problem. I mean there's a lot of alliances waiting for me. But you,"
Zaid added.
"You'll barely get any suitors. Even if you get, I bet they won't be better than me. I mean everyone isn't kind like me to accept a used woman like you."
"Used woman?"
Tears started to prick from Ayana's eyes.
"Yeah. You think I don't know what happened three years ago? I read the article where you were drugged and almost got molested. Although later the doctors and police confirmed that it was planned by your psycho ex-fiancee and nothing happened to you except the coma incident still,"
"Stop!"
Clenching her fist, Ayana closed her eyes.
"Still, who knows maybe your family covered the truth. After all, you guys got money, you can do anything."
Instead of stopping, Zaid continued to insult her.
"Shut up!"
With her shaky voice, Ayana said. She refused to spill the sack of tears that were ready to fall any moment.
"Honestly, you parents should be grateful to me, that I'm ready to marry you even after that scandal of yours. But it seems like your parents, these rich people are really shameless and brazen. Don't even know to be grateful-"
"I said to SHUT UP, you scumbag!"
Unable to bear hearing any more insults about her and her parents, Ayana at last yelled.
"W-what? What did y-you call me?"
Fuming Zaid glared at her.
"Don't you dare to say another word about my parents!"
Anger poured through her.
"Who are you? Who the hell are you to judge me, my character?"
"You are no one! A nobody!"
Ayana spoke breathlessly in anger.
"I don't need a character certificate from anyone let alone a despicable person like you!"
Saying, Ayana took her bag and was about to walk away when Zaid stood up.
"If you take a step further, then I promise I'll really break the alliance."
Ayana bitterly snorted with laughter before turning towards Zaid.
"Apologize right now if you don't want the alliance to break."
Smirking, Zaid said, making Ayana's rage flow through her like lava.
"You really are a scumbag!"
Ayana muttered before marching towards him. And then without any warning, she took the cup of warm coffee from the table and directly threw it on Zaid's face.
"What the-"
People started to gather around their table as some started to video the whole conversation.
"Listen you scumbag! Go and tell your dear mother to arrange your wedding with that Saida or whatever that girl's name is because,"
Taking out the ring that Zaid's mother gave her from her finger, Ayana threw it on Zaid.
"I Break This Alliance!"
Saying she was about to turn around when Zaid spoke in his annoying voice.
"This much attitude isn't good for you, Ms. Ayana! You can never find a better alliance than ours."
Picking up the ring from the floor, Zaid taunted.
"I bet within a couple of days you'll come back running to me and begging me to marry you."
For the last time, Ayana looked back at him. She was now quivering with anger.
"What did you say?"
Picking a glass of water from a nearby table, Ayana marched towards him. Zaid immediately hid his face with his hand in fear.
Ayana was about to throw the glass of water on him but then stopped making Zaid slowly open his eyes.
"I don't want to dirty this pure water by pouring it on you."
Loudly placing the glass on the table, she went to him.
"What did you say? I'll come to you? Begging?"
Sarcastically she laughed before glaring at him.
"It won't even happen in your dreams."
"Let me promise you something. I'll get married. I'll get married before you. That too to someone better than you both in looks and status. And don't worry. I'll make sure that you get the wedding card first."
Going closer to him, Ayana announced.
"You see, my parents love to do charity work. So I'll ask them to send you and your greedy mother branded clothes to wear in my wedding as a charity."
Opening her bag, Ayana took out a bunch of dollars before throwing it on Zaid.
"For the coffee and for wasting your useless time."
Saying she dashed out of the cafe with unshed tears.
♧♧♧
After discussing the new project about the farmhouse with Fawad, Imraan, who witnessed the whole drama of Ayana and Zaid, came out of the cafe. As soon as he sat in the car, from the driver's seat Adil looked at him.
"Sir, did you watch the whole thing live?"
"Huh?"
Confusedly Imraan looked at Adil.
"Everyone is talking about the nasty breakup that occurred in the cafe. Didn't you see it?"
Curiously, Adil asked.
"I don't know what you are talking about."
Feigning his ignorance, Imraan answered.
"Oh my! How come you didn't see it?! It was the same woman. The one who slapped you with her bag."
Imraan glared at Adil, who ignoring his glare continued to talk.
"Apparently she and her boyfriend had a heated argument which resulted in their nasty breakup. The customers in the cafe are talking about it only. One even posted a live video."
"Video?"
Adil passed his mobile to Imraan.
"Do you think they broke up because of you?"
Pausing the video, Imraan looked at Adil.
"Me?"
"Yeah. Don't you remember? Didn't you tell the guy to break up with her?"
Adil remembered Imraan who looked away.
Sudden guilt flushed over him. Was he really the reason behind their breakup? When he told the guy to break up with Ayana, he didn't mean it. He just said it to piss Ayana off.
"Sir? Sir!"
Coming out of his thoughts, Imraan looked at Adil who was curiously looking back at him.
"Where are you lost?"
"None of your business."
Narrowing his eyes, Imraan said making Adil frown.
"Don't you think you are gossiping too much these days?"
"Do you know the person who uploaded this video?"
Giving back the mobile, Imraan asked.
"Yes. Why?"
"I want the video to be taken down immediately."
Imraan ordered.
"Why?"
Suspiciously, Adil looked at his boss who was suddenly taking interest in an outsider when he never really cared about anything that doesn't concern himself or his family.
"You ask too many questions. Just do what you are told to do."
Imraan scolded lightly.
Without saying anything more, Adil started the car whereas Imraan looked outside. He couldn't help but feel guilty and sad about Ayana.
♧♧♧
"I think there must be a misunderstanding."
Mrs. Malik tried to explain but was rudely cut off by Zaid's mother from the other side of the call.
"No. Please listen to me. Hello! Hello!"
After hearing everything from his son, Zaid's mother called Mrs. Malik. Along with insulting Mrs. Malik's upbringing, she lied saying that Ayana made abusive remarks to her and her son. She further lied that Ayana insulted them about their status and then broke the alliance which Mrs. Malik didn't believe. She knew no matter what happens her daughter wouldn't make any rude comments to the elders. But before she could ask or explain, Zaid's mother rudely cut off the call.
"What happened? What did Zaid's mother say?"
Mr. Malik asked his wife.
Mrs. Malik was about to reply when she spotted Ayana entering the house.
"You!"
Going towards her daughter, Mrs. Malik yelled thinking like the previous ones this time too Ayana played a prank to avoid the marriage.
"What did you do this time? What did you say to Zaid and his mother?"
"Why are you yelling at her? Talk to her softly."
Mr. Malik tried to calm his wife.
Others came down hearing Mrs. Malik loud voice.
"Do you know what she did? She has not left me able to show my face to anyone."
Mrs. Malik yelled.
"She destroyed our years of earned reputation in a second. Did we force you to say yes to the alliance? Huh?"
Grabbing Ayana's arms, Mrs. Malik vented out her frustration.
"If you planned to break the alliance, then why did you lie to me when I asked you about ut the day before yesterday? Huh? Why did you agree to it in the first place? Did anyone force you to say yes?!"
"Mom, please. This much anger isn't good for your health. Your bp will be high."
Myra tried to grab Mrs. Malik.
"What did you say to them?"
Calming herself a bit, Mrs. Malik asked.
"Dear, what's the reason for breaking the engagement?"
Mr. Malik asked his daughter who kept quiet not wanting to disclose anything.
"Listen to me carefully. I don't care what happened but you'll apologize to Zaid and his mother right now. That's it."
Not getting any response, Mrs. Malik ordered.
"I won't."
At last, Ayana spoke.
"You will."
Fuming Mrs. Malik argued.
"No. Never. I'll never apologize to them."
Adamantly Ayana spoke. Raw anger shot through her.
"Always marriage, marriage and marriage! Don't I have anything else in my mind other than getting married? My choice, my will, are they worthless?"
She yelled back.
"Api, what happened to you? Get a grip."
Going towards her, Reeha softly said.
"What do you mean I should get a grip on myself?"
Shoving Reeha's hand, Ayana said fuming,
"Can't you see how mom is forcing me? My life has become a joke and you people want me to be normal and get married?"
"Dear, we never forced you for this alliance. You, yourself agreed to it even when your mother didn't want you to. And now suddenly you are breaking the alliance, the engagement. At least tell us the reason, dear."
Mr. Malik softly tried to make his daughter understand.
"My dear, think about our reputation... about your mom's state."
Not getting any response, Mr. Malik added.
"The invitation cards for the engagement are already ready. And Zaid, you liked him, didn't you? Then what changed? Is it because of the past?"
Thinking that Ayana's sudden mood change has something to do with her previous engagement, Mr. Malik asked.
"Dad is right."
Softly holding her arms, Ayyan spoke.
"All of us can understand that it's not easy for you, it's not easy to move past that incident but you need to get a grip on yourself. You can't let that incident ruin your future. Listen to mom and apologize, okay? That'll be best for you."
"I'm not a child. I know what's good and bad for me."
Gritting her teeth, Ayana spoke.
None of this would have happened if she told the truth to them. But she didn't want to tell them what happened. She didn't want her family to know how brutally she was insulted by Zaid. She was ashamed to admit that she thought of a future with a despicable man like him.
"Oh really? If you actually knew what's good and bad for you then what happened three years back wouldn't have happened!"
Indicating Zafar's incident, Mrs. Malik said not realizing how her words were affecting her daughter.
"Look, I'm telling this for the last time. Either apologize to them or leave the house."
And at that time Ayana lost her temper completely.
"Now I get it. This is your actual motive."
Rudely she said.
"You could have told me beforehand that I was a burden to you."
"What?"
Mrs. Malik looked at her daughter with hurt. Never in her life did she think of her only daughter as a burden.
"You didn't have to do all this drama. I would have left the house long ago. No need to get me married. I'll just leave the house."
Harshly Ayana spoke.
"You don't need to think of me. I earn well and I can afford a house to li-"
Before she could complete a loud sound was heard.
Thud!
Holding her bruised cheek, Ayana looked at her elder brother in disbelief.
"Bhai!"
"Tone down your voice."
Angrily, Rayyan spoke.
"Rayyan!"
Mrs. Malik tried to stop her son who showed his hand indicating not to interfere.
"Is this how you are supposed to talk with your parents? Huh?!"
Rayyan shouted.
"Apologize!"
Without saying anything, Ayana kept on standing while looking down.
"Did you hear what I said? Apologize! Apologize to mom. NOW!!"
"Sorry!"
With her shaky voice, Ayana somehow managed to say.
"I hate you."
Then looking back at her brother with both anger and tears she whispered before going into her room.
♧♧♧
Assalamualaikum and hello everyone!
Hope all of you are doing well.
Phew! Such a long dramatic chapter, isn't it?😩😖
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