Gaddiel
I feel so cold. Tirik na tirik ang araw pero nanlalamig ako. Kasabay kong naglalakad papunta sa harap ng klase ang mukhang mabait namang adviser pero hindi iyon nakabawas sa kabang nararamdaman ko.
Ramdam ko ang tingin ng lahat kaya ayokong mag-angat ng tingin. I can't. . . I can't.
"Just give it a try, Gaddiel. Please. . ."
No, Mom. I don't know what to do or how should I act!
"Try, Gaddiel. . ." I can hear my Mom's voice.
I sighed heavily to calm my nerves. Nakatatlong hinga nang malalim pa ako bago ako nag-angat ng tingin sa klase.
My emotions are overflowing right now. Mas nanlamig ako habang pinipigilang mamangha sa mga magiging kaklase ko.
So this is what a classroom looks like? Totoong classroom. Hindi iyong tulad sa bahay na ako lang ang studyante at nasa screen lamang ang teacher.
But I'm still nervous! I feel like I'll break down any minute now. I know it sounds crazy but. . . This is overwhelming.
They're all looking at me. Malikot ang mga mata ko, mabilis na iniisa-isa ang mukha ng mga kaklase. They look normal.
"Introduce yourself to the class, Mr. Sandoval."
Sino? Ako? Yes, you're a Sandoval, Gaddiel. How come you're forgetting that?
I'm going crazy. Ahh, seriously.
"I. . ." I sighed. This is my first time, you can't blame me! "I'm Gaddiel Ivan S-Sandoval. Uh. . ."
Saka ko binalingan ang adviser namin. Please, tell me to take a sit now. Please. Please. But she didn't get my silent beggings!
"Tell us about your previous school, Mr. Sandoval," she said.
What?!
Napalunok ako, pati iyon ay hirap na hirap akong gawin. Muli akong napayuko nang makitang ang iba sa mga kaklase ay natatawa sa akin. My whole face felt like burning right now.
I can't. . .
I can't. . .
"I'm am homeschooled," mabilis kong ani. Oh, thank God! Medyo nakahinga rin ako nang maluwag nang masabi ko iyon. I can hear faint laughters from my classmates but I pretended that I can't hear them.
"Oh! Then welcome to our school, Mr. Sandoval." Our adviser smiled at me before looking back at the class. "Please be kind to your new classmate," she said. Yes, please be kind with me. Please.
"You can seat at the vacant chair on the fourth row, Mr. Sandoval."
At last!
Fourth row. . . I fixed my eye glasses.
One.
Two.
Three.
I counted silently while walking towards the vacant chair in the fourth row. My eyes we're just fixed on the certain chair but eventually. . . I don't really know how it suddenly landed on the girl at the back.
Four.
Short and straight black hair, sharp eyes and. . . So pretty.
Pretty.
Sa unang pagkakataon, hindi ko nasundan ang iniisip ko. So many adjectives are flowing in my head. Hindi ko na naisa-isa.
Our eyes met and as if she's waiting for it.
I don't know to react. Lalo pa nang may ipinalobo siya sa bibig niya. Is that gum?
"Ms. Hernandez, what did I say about foods during class hour?"
I'm Sandoval, who's Hernandez?
Oh, it's her.
And then. . . She rolled her eyes at me. Na para bang may kasalanan ako sa kanya. Her eyes says like I'm her enemy.
Sorry, ang unang pumasok sa isip ko. I know I haven't meet her before but if she thought I have wronged her. . . Then I apologize.
She popped the bubble gum in her mouth and I'm just curiously looking at it. When she suddenly stands up I notice something wrong in her blouse.
God! Sorry.
Mas lalong nag-init ang buong mukha ko. I look away immediately!
"And for the nth time, please, botton your blouse properly, Ms. Hernandez. Please."
Nanlamig ako at tila nanghina. Napaupo nalang ako sa upuan ko at pilit na inaalis ang nakita sa memorya ko. But I know, it's not possible so for the whole classroom discussion, my face feels like burning.
And the stare I feel on my back wasn't helping at all.
"How's school?" bungad agad ni Mom nang makauwi ako sa bahay. I don't know what to say but somehow, her question made me smile.
School. Finally, I go to school.
"Mom, it's. . ."
She tilted her head, very expectant of what I'm going to say.
"Fine. It's g-great, Mom," wika ko at nag-iwas ng tingin.
I suddenly remember the girl earlier. My face heated up and I didn't had a chance to even hide it from my Mom.
"What? Why? Are you okay?" nag-aalala niyang tanong habang sinisipat ako pero bahagya akong umiiwas.
"M-mom, wala. Just. . . Just. . ." Just what, Gaddiel?
"What's your perfume?" I remember her question again. Now, I really want to sulk badly.
Parang umikot nang full degree ang pag-iisip ko nang magkabanggan kami kanina sa doorway ng classroom.
Then she even ask me?!
I don't use perfume but I should've answer her, right? But I didn't. I'm such a bummer!
Mukhang galit pa naman siya sa akin. Mas lalo siguro siyang nagalit sa 'kin ngayon.
And she looks really scary... not that scary as some sort of a monster, of course. She's so fine to be a monster. She's so pretty that it scares me really.
Like she's so high that it's frightening. Nanayo ang mga balahibo ko habang inaalala ang pag-irap niya sakin kaninang umaga.
Then the. . . Her blouse. . .
"I-I'll take a shower upstairs, Mom. L-later!" Nagmamadali akong pumasok sa kwarto ko para iwasan ang mga tanong ni Mommy.
Not that I don't want to tell her about my day but it's really embarrassing! Today's so embarrassing!
Pagod akong naupo sa kama ko at napatitig nalang sa kisame.
She's really beautiful though.
The next day didn't helped at all. Gulat na gulat ako nang makita ko siya sa likuran ko habang nakapila ako sa counter ng cafeteria.
Nakahalukipkip pa siya at mukha na namang galit. She's staring back at me. My insides are spinning upside down!
Agad akong bumaling sa harap nang matauhan.
Verses. I need verses right now to calm down! Or poems or even just some phrase. But I forgot it all. My mind is literally crazy right now.
I didn't expect that she'll treat me that time. Egg sandwich and water. Naging medyo salbahe daw siya sakin kahapon kaya tini-treat niya ako ngayon. She's not mean, from that moment, I knew that she's not really mean. She's just blunt and well. . . Her mood changes quickly.
Pero nakakahiya pa rin talaga. I always blush around her, stuttering, trembling and so awkward.
Everything is my first time when it comes to her. I like her so much. She became my first friend. . . Then girlfriend.
When Lia told me that she wants me to be his boyfriend, at first few seconds, its puzzling to me. Wala akong alam sa mga ganoong bagay pero si Lia na ito. . . Hindi naman iyon tunog masama kaya bakit naman aayaw pa ako?
Relationship. Commitment. I don't mind having those as long as I'm having it with Lia. At first, I thought she's just making fun of me or something along that line. But then, Lia may be blunt and rough sometimes but I know that she'll never make fun of someone—of me.
First girlfriend. First kiss—na hindi nagpatulog sakin buong gabi.
Kyelia Aurora Hernandez, the most beautiful moody girl. The girl who loves extreme activities. The girl who loves isaw. The girl who's so good at shooting balls in the basketball machine. The girl who's so curious about everything that comes to her mind. She's the amazing girl who save herself when I couldn't.
She's the girl that I loved from the very beginning. Also the girl who broke my young heart years ago.
"Congratulations, Atty. Sandoval. You won another case again."
I graduated and very stable now so I guess, I can finally do the thing I said years ago.
It's long overdue after all.