acatalepsy ‣ l.hs

By flauvier

89.7K 5.3K 2.3K

wherein hana tries to comprehend what went wrong with their relationship. © FLAUVIER 2021 ... More

prologue
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farewell

my love

3.5K 208 234
By flauvier

EPILOGUE PART 2
¡ TW: mention of suicide !
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"You're going to look for Hana?"

Jake's eyes widened after hearing what Heeseung said. After he visited Hana's old family home, he immediately went to his friend to tell him about his plans. He chose to tell Jake because he knew just how how much he loved Hana, he wants to believe Jake would understand him.

"I don't believe she's dead Jake, I know her. She would never do that." Heeseung reasoned. "You don't really believe she's dead, right?"

"Of course I don't." Jake replies. "But this is exactly why I didn't tell you at the first place when she first went missing."

Heeseung raised his eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

Jake took a sharp breath. "Do you recall when I visited you? I-I was supposed to tell you at that time about what happened to Hana."

He pressed his lips together, trying to take in what his friend was trying to say. Of course he remembered his friend's visit months ago, who would've thought that during those times while he remained unbothered by everything, something bad had happened to her?

"Why didn't you?"

"Because I knew you'd do this. I knew you'd drop everything to look for her, and I didn't want to ruin your happiness. You looked so happy Heeseung, how could I take that away from you?" Jake explained which made Heeseung stand up.

"There was never a day where I didn't miss her Jake. Since the day I lost her, I was never happy."

Jake sighed. "I-I understand if you want to go look for her but please, don't drop your whole life for something we are both uncertain." He tells him. "Truthfully, I would do the same. I would go look for her too but I talked to her before she did what she did."

"Y-You knew?"

He shook his head. "She gave me subtle hints but I didn't decipher it immediately. Heeseung, if you have been there to witness how tired Hana looked, you would've understood why I don't want to bother her anymore. If she's alive somewhere, she's finally free and that's all I ever wanted for her."

I'm sorry, Jake. But I can't do what you did.

Although, Jake did have a point, Heeseung couldn't stay in the country for so long because he still had so much to do abroad. Throughout his stay in the country, his head was clouded, trying to think of what he should do. He then realized he had to wait for his break before he could actually commit to looking for Hana.

He had to wait for months and when his long awaited break finally arrived, in a bat of an eye he booked a flight back home and contacted Eunbin for help. She too didn't want to stop investigating and so she offered to help with whatever Heeseung intended to do. Jake on the other hand, was supportive in his own way. He would send help when Heeseung asked which the latter was thankful for.

His first game plan was to search in the villages near the edge of the cliff. There were many of them but he scoured each and everyone of them, asking around with an investigator. They had a picture of Hana in their hands but not one person recognized her. Although he had no luck with so many villages, he didn't give up even if he was so tired, he kept going.

After a month, he still was unsuccessful.

"Heeseung take a rest for a while, you're going to pass out of fatigue if you keep going." Eunbin says on the phone. "Still no luck?"

He took a seat on a bench and sighed. "No."

"You shouldn't tire yourself so much, I'm sure you'll find a hint." She tried to cheer him up. "Please update me whenever you can and don't forget to eat."

Throughout the month all Eunbin ever did was take care of him like he was a little child, he now understood why Hana trusted her so much to take care of her brother. Even if she didn't have any kids of her own, her caring nature was truly admirable. If Heeseung was going to be honest, he was starting to look at her as if she was his second mother.

"Yes, I'll update you don't worry." He assured her.

"Alright, I'm going to drop the call now. Rest for a while Heeseung, you have all the time in the world." She says, dropping the call after he said goodbye.

Twisting the bottle cap of his drink, he drank his water as he watched the bustling village. He could imagine Hana living there, almost no one recognized her unlike the city where she was constantly watched. With her bright nature, he was sure she'd be able to blend in quickly.

And if life treated her well, she would even be able to start her own family.

He sighed. Even thinking about it made his chest hurt.

"Excuse me?" He heard a voice of a child speak, at the same time a golden retriever ran to him. "O-Oh sorry about Dal!"

Dal?

He was suddenly reminded by Hae who was now in Jake's care. He visited the dog once and to his relief, he was in good condition.

"Did you need anything?" Heeseung said to the kid, smiling a little.

"I saw you were looking for a lady, she seemed familiar to me, can I take another look?" The child kindly asked him while holding his dog.

Heeseung's eyes widened and he immediately opened his phone to show him a picture of Hana. "Do you know her?" He asked.

"I was right, I do know her! She nursed Dal to health when he was sick!" The child said with a grin on his face. "She takes care of Dal whenever I'm in school." 

"D-Do you know where she is?" He asked, trying to stop himself from overflowing with joy. He didn't want to get his hopes up in case the child saw wrongly, but this was the closest clue he had to her.

The little kid nods. "Of course, she lives in my village at the mountain with her husband."

His heart dropped. Husband?

"Are you sure it's her?" Heeseung asked to make sure.

"Yes." He nods.

All of a sudden, a woman who looked like she was in her late thirties approached them and grabbed the kid. Heeseung could immediately tell she was his mother.

"I'm so sorry! I let him wander off, I didn't know he would go bothering others. I'm sorry!" The woman apologized and was about to pull the kid away.

"Mom, he's looking for Ms. Hana. I saw him asking around." He explained to his mother, to which surprised her.

The woman faced Heeseung this time. "Do you know her?" He showed her a picture of Hana and his heart was beating so hard as he watched her reaction.

She nods. "Yes, she's Ms. Hana. She lives in our village with her husband, why are you looking for her?" And that was when all the color in his face disappeared.

Hana really was married... No, at least now I'm sure she's alive.

"She's a close friend of mine, can you tell me where I can find her?" He asked, forcing a smile on his face.

"Just ride that bus sir then stop when you see a flight of stairs. You have to climb the stairs to get there." She answered.

Heeseung nods. "Thank you!"

He immediately runs to the bus she pointed, paying for it with the money he had in his pocket. He dialed Eunbin's number to let her know he may had a lead to where Hana was and the latter was delighted to hear great news after a year since Hana had disappeared. He made sure to keep an eye on the road, preparing where he should stop.

Then he saw it. He quickly gets off the bus and looks at it first. It really was a long way up but he could manage, he's experienced worse than climbing what seemed like a hundred flight of stairs. By the time he gets to the top, he takes one sharp breath before taking a look of the peaceful village living there. It wasn't big but it was definitely not small.

He saw a person walking so he quickly approached the person. "Hi can I ask a question?" Heeseung tells the person and they nod, smiling a little to show kindness. "Do you know where this person lives?" He says, showing a picture of Hana.

They nod again. "Oh Jaemin's wife? Just turn right by that street then the biggest house is theirs."

Jaemin.

"Alright, thank you." Heeseung smiled before heading to the street the stranger pointed and turned right. He observed which one was the biggest house and it was clearer than daylight where the biggest house was.

He walked over there, earning confused glances from people who passed by him. Considering the village wasn't the biggest, he was sure most of the villagers knew each other. By the gate of the house he sees a man in a plain white shirt standing there talking kindly with elder women. He continued making his way there until he stole their attention.

"Sorry for disturbing but are you Jaemin?" Heeseung asked the surprised man. 

"Yes, I'm Jaemin." He smiled. "Sorry I can't help you today ma'am, it looks like I have a visitor." He apologizes to the women who were blushing at the mere sight of two handsome men standing next to each other.

"Oh, of course we don't mind! I didn't know you had another handsome friend." The woman looked at Heeseung, who lowered his head out of embarrassment.

"He's actually Hana's closest friend." Jaemin tells them first before gazing at Heeseung. "Here, come in." He said, opening the gate for him.

Heeseung went inside and Jaemin followed later after saying his farewell to the women he was talking to. He sees a dog house by the yard which made his heart hurt even more. It hurts seeing someone live the life he could only dream of back then.

"You know me?" He asked Jaemin as he enter the house.

Jaemin nods. "How can I not know you? You're all Hana ever talks about." He says so casually that it made Heeseung confuse. "Do you want to drink anything? It must've been exhausting getting here."

"Water is fine." He replies, sitting on the couch. The house was comfortable, it felt like the perfect place to settle in.

Jaemin hands him a glass of water. "I assume you have a lot of questions, especially about Hana." He said while Heeseung was drinking water. He puts the glass down and guiltily nods, admitting he really had a lot of questions in mind. "Ask away."

"How is Hana alive?" He blurted out the question that was really bugging him.

"I saw her in the water and I pulled her to my boat. I nursed her to health and brought her here. That's pretty much how we met." He answered.

Heeseung pressed his lips together. "No wonder she married you." He mumbled but it seemed the latter heard him because his eyes suddenly widened in surprise.

"Oh no no no!" Jaemin repeatedly says the word 'no'. "Hana and I aren't married, it was just a lie we came up with to lessen the suspicions on us. The people here were wondering why we lived in the same house so we pretended to be a married couple."

He suddenly felt like he could finally breathe after what Jaemin just said. Hana wasn't married after all, all hope isn't lost yet. But he immediately controlled his expression because he didn't want to look too relieved in front of Jaemin.

"And just like Hana, I already have someone in my heart." He pulled his necklace from inside his shirt and showed it to him. It was a heart locket and there was a picture of a girl inside it. "Don't worry, Hana is like a sister to me."

"Thank you for saving Hana, you don't know just how many people are thankful to you." Heeseung tells him.

Jaemin shook his head. "I didn't save Hana."

"But you just said you pulled her out of the water?"

"Maybe in some way I did but she mostly saved herself. That day, she originally wanted to end her life but she fought at the very last minute, she chose to live. So she swam up, that's when I saw her and helped her up to my boat." He explained. 

"I asked her why she suddenly changed her mind and she told me she still had to see you. Even if you were happy with someone else, she wanted to see you one last time."

At that moment he realized that even if years passed for the two of them, the beating of their heart would always be one. No matter how much the world changes, their hearts would remain the same, constantly yearning for the presence of one another.

"Why did Hana hide then? Surely she had a reason why she refused to show herself to us."

"Hana did what she did in the first place because she wanted to be free, she was afraid that once she returns, she would be unable to be herself again. As much as she wanted to return to all of you, she just wanted to be free even for a short while."

"Where is Hana right now? I need to see her." Heeseung quickly says.

He needs to tell her so much unspoken feelings locked up in his heart that was waiting for their meeting. He wants to tell her that with him, she can finally be free. Now that he's back he would do everything to make her feel like she was free from the chains that she was once tied to.

"Hana left a month ago."

Why was it when she's almost within his hold, she always manages to slip away?

Heeseung's mouth was left agape. He didn't know what to say anymore. This was the closest he has been to finding her, how much longer does he have to wait just to see her?

"S-She'll be back, she promised me she would." Jaemin said, stuttering a little because he saw how Heeseung's face ran out of hope. "I'll contact you if she comes back."

He was thankful at least that Hana ended up meeting someone like Jaemin. By the end of the day, he had no choice but to leave because he was left defeated after coming all this far. Once he got down from the mountain, instead of going home, he rode the bus to the nearest beach. The beach where Jaemin found Hana.

It was almost sunset, the wind was now beginning to feel colder. The beach was empty, no other people could be seen so Heeseung took that chance to drop on his knees and cry. He has been holding his tears since earlier but right now all he needed was to let it all out. He just wanted to see her, to make sure she was alright. He just wanted to be with the woman he loved, why was fate so against that?

He wanted to fulfill his promises to her.

He wanted to love her more than he did.

"I just want to be with her, why is that so hard to give?" He sobs, burying his face in his arms.

He cried there like a little child.

"Please just give us a chance, let me see her again."

And as he spoke, he heard a dog bark. He raised his head and before he could turn his head, the dog went running to him, licking him in the face. Golden retriever. He immediately recognized it as the dog the child he talked to earlier was with.

"Dal!"

That voice.

He knew that voice.

But he was afraid to turn his head. He didn't want to be let down again. He didn't want to feel the exact same disappointment he felt earlier.

"I'm sorry Ms. Hana, I lost my grip on his leash."

His heart was beating so fast.

Was his prayers finally answered? Is the love of his life finally behind him?

Heeseung continued to look Dal that refused to run away from him.

"Dal, come here." The child spoke and this time, the dog followed. "Sorry sir-- wait a minute, aren't you--"

"Pilhoon, go to your mother." Her serious voice.

"But--"

"Go, tell Jaemin I'm back."

Has he been recognized? Did she knew it was him sitting there like a fool in the sand, sobbing?

"Hee?"

That nickname, he missed it so much. When someone ever tried to call him that, he would stop them, claiming that nickname was only hers to say. With every strength left in him, he raised his head to face the girl who stood there, looking down at him.

After three years, her beauty still remained inhumane. She was like an angel in her white dress and angelic face, she was beyond this world from his view especially with the beautiful tint of orange coming from the sunset, hitting her face.

Her eyes sparkled as he stared at her, like the whole universe lived in it.

The loud beating of his heart was gone and all he could feel was the tranquil ambience that surrounded them.

"Hana."

There were a lot of things they failed to understand.

He doesn't understand how someone could love somebody for so long.

She doesn't understand how someone who loved each other as much as they did, still ended up losing to the world.

They do not understand why they chose each other or why they love each other so much.

But maybe that was the beauty of everything.

The beauty of not understanding what love really is.

A tear escaped his eye. "Love." He stood up to face her.

There is no certainty to what love really is and so it will always be up to our interpretation.

Love for Heeseung was Hana.

And love for Hana was Heeseung.

"Hana." He repeated her name.

Under the sunset, their love found each other once more. And this time, they were stronger than ever.

"You found me." She smiled, tears falling from her eyes.

"You found me again."

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