"Sofia" I heard a voice shouting behind me but I didn't turn around. "Hey, wait up" I knew it was Pierre but I just didn't feel like talking to anyone. "Please" he said softly and I finally stopped. "Are you okay?" he asked looking genuinely worried.
"Yeah I'm fine, I just didn't feel like listening to rest of that conversation" I let out a dry laugh.
"I'm sorry about that, they didn't mean anything bad" he apologized behalf of his friends.
"Yeah I know and it's okay but it's been a pretty crabby week already" I told him.
"I'm sorry" he looked down on me and I gave him a little smile.
"That secret lasted long ha?" I referred to the fact that we had made a deal to keep it between us. It was hilarious actually. The first time the guys meat after the whole episode and the first thing that comes up is that I spent a night with him. I didn't really no how we thought that we could keep it between us in the first place.
"Yeah, tell me about it" he laughed. "Are you sure you're gonna be fine?" he then got more serious again. Pierre and I were friends I guess. I had talked him couple of times before the day on the yacht where I had first time really talked to him and gotten to know him. I liked spending time with him and we got along really well. A little too well you might think, but after all I thought that nothing had really changed between us after the Sunday. At least what I could read from this short conversation we were having.
"I promise" I smiled to the guy. The whole thing could've gone a lot different between us, but I was more than grateful that he didn't turn in to an asshole or this wasn't awkward or anything. It was the same as before except I think we had learned to trust each other more.
"Good" he nodded. "I'll see you around, but if you need to talk just look me up" he smirked before heading back to where he had came from.
.
The quali started and I was standing on Carlos' garage with the headset on. There had been already three red flags and Q3 hadn't even started yet. Both Carlos and Charles had driven to Q3 which was a good thing.
Charles had a hold on pole and when the session was stopped due to the fourth red flag after Yuki had crashed the pole was ours. Bad news were that Carlos had crashed following Yuki, but hopefully the car wasn't too damaged and we would be able to race tomorrow, which I believed. Charles on pole and Carlos with P5 was a good result for us for sure.
"Nice job" I hugged Charles once he had gotten out of his car.
"Thanks, I'm happy" he grinned under the helmet. I could tell, and he had really deserved this.
I watched as Carlos' car was brought back to us and the engineers rushed to check up the damage. The driver himself walked back apologizing the team of his mistake. He kept his head down and helmet on as he walked to straight to his room.
I made my way slowly there and I knocked on his door. "Come in" he shouted and I opened the door finding the guy sitting on the floor, so I sat next to him.
"Don't be too hard on yourself" I told the guy looking at him as he stared the ground in front of him.
"Mhmm" he muttered and I could tell he wasn't taking me serious or listening me at all. And I didn't blame him but he was still on P5 and the car was going to be just fine when the race would start and he didn't need to pout over it too much.
"Hey I'm serious" I said turning so I was no sitting in front of him. As he looked up I could see his watery eyes.
"It's not just the drive" he said before looking back down.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" I asked carefully.
"Not really" he told me looking at me and I nodded. I got closer to him and pulled him against me. I could feel him relax as I played with his hair and that moment I thought about Cami asking about our relationship. We were just friends right? I mean there was those little moments that could've looked like something more from the outside but either of us didn't feel like that.
Carlos' breathing had steadied and it took me a while to realize that he had fallen asleep on my lap. I couldn't help a little smile forming on my lips. A knock on the door pulled me from my thoughts and I watched as the door opened and Carlos' cousin Carlos appeared behind it. I waved him to be quiet pointing on the sleeping guy on my lap.
"I think we should let him sleep" I quietly said to Carlos. "He was pretty exhausted." I told him almost truthfully.
"Okay, well when he wakes up tell him to come and find me" he asked and I nodded. "And Sofia, please don't hurt him" he said before closing the door leaving me confused.
An hour went by before the guy on my lap started to show some signs of life. I had been using my time going through my socials and texting some friends back in Finland. It had been good to just stop to do that once in a while but with the hectic schedule I usually spent my free time doing something else.
"Morning" I said once Carlos opened his eyes sitting up rubbing his eyes.
"Did I fall asleep?" he looked at me his eyes wide open.
"Yeah, almost two hours ago" I told him showing him the clock on my phone. I could see a little smile playing on Carlos' face as he saw my background photo of us and Charles which we had taken back in one of my first grand prix. I was a selfie of us messing around on the garage and it summed up our relationship perfectly.
"Holy shit" his hand went through his dark hair. "Why didn't you wake me up? Have you been sitting there the two hours?" he looked at me surprised when he realized he was still on the floor and that he had used me as his pillow.
"I didn't want to wake you up and we thought it might even do you some good to sleep a little, and yeah I've been sitting here the whole time" I grinned to the confused guy.
"I'm so sorry" he said.
"Don't worry about it, I could've left if I wanted to" I assured him and the look in his eyes changed to something I hadn't seen before. He stayed quiet and just gazed into my eyes. But quickly he turned his gaze away like he had realized he was doing something bad.
"You should talk to Lando" he than stated out of the blue looking away from me again.
"What?" I asked confused.
"You two need to work things out first" he said and got up from the floor offering his hand to help me up.
"Okay? Before what?" I shrug my brows.
"Nothing just forget it, but promise me you'll talk to him" he said seriously.
"Fine." I sighed promising to talk Lando with little annoyed by the amount of things that Carlos nowadays told me to forget. Talking about forgetting. "Oh, Carlos asked you to find him when you wake up so you should probably do that" I remembered.
We went our own ways from there: Carlos to see his cousin and I left to the hotel since I was done with the day.
I walked into my room and jumped on the bed. I picked up the phone and decided to get on with my plan. I hated to admit it but fighting with Lando was eating me inside. So I had decided to talk to him but I didn't find courage to do it face to face so I dig up my phone and a specific number from there. I knew that we weren't in the best place but I still hoped he would appreciate our deal.
So I called to leave him a message:
"Hey, it's me. I uhm" I struggled to come up with something to say. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry if I hurted you somehow, it was never my intention and I know I said some things that I didn't mean and I'm really sorry for that" I sighed to the phone. "But you really hurt me. I mean I got little upset already by you not believing me which I found little funny after telling you all the things I've never told anyone and still you thought I would lie to you about something like that" I could feel my hand sweating and shaking as I continued. "The things you said to me that night really broke me, and no I'm not proud of how I acted and I could blame myself being drunk but then again no one forced me to drink. I just- I – well yeah." I couldn't bring myself to say those things I really wanted to say to him. "Anyways I'm glad that you worked it out with Carlos, it would've killed me if I had broke your friendship, I could never forgive myself if I had done that to him- or you. I guess, I just wanted you to know that I really wanna sort this out, I mean that kiss even though it happened in the adrenaline rush and all that, it really meant something, at least to me, so yeah. I'm sorry and if you don't want to be my friend anymore or anything it's fine, and I really hope you the best"
I ended the call and dropped the phone on my bed and lied down on my back already regretting the call. We had went from friends to strangers real fast and the situation now had me in a place where I didn't know if he hated me or not and if I should hate him or not.
The thing was; I didn't want to hate him.