Lilja
Before anyone can react, the floor of the cave collapses downwards; the floor is really a giant trap door. The entire Company falls down a chute, slides through a tunnel, and lands in a giant wooden cage. As we struggle to get up, a horde of goblins attacks us, takes away our weapons, and drags us all away. As the dwarves are lead away kicking and yelling, I start to panic and try my hardest to escape. I kick and hit the goblins. Thorin sees me and takes my hand.
The goblin horde brings the company through a vast network of tunnels and wooden bridges to the throne room and platform of the Great Goblin. The Great Goblin is a massive Goblin sitting on a throne, holding a mace topped with a skull. He is far larger than any other goblin, and he is incredibly ugly, with warts all over his swinging chin. After the dwarves are captured, and the dwarves are taken to see the Goblin King. I try to back away but am pushed forward by a goblin. As he sits, music starts, and the Goblin King says "I feel a song coming on!" and starts to sing, quite badly I might add.
Snip snap, the black crack
Grip, grab, pinch, and nab
Batter and beat
Milk 'em, stammer and squeak!
Pound pound, far underground
Down, down, down in Goblin Town
With a swish and smack
And a whip and a crack
Everybody talks when they're on our rack
Pound pound, far underground
Down, down, down in Goblin Town
Hammer and torch, get out your knockers and gongs
You won't last long on the end of my prongs
Clish, clash, crush and smash
Bang, break, shiver and shake
You can yell and yelp
But there ain't no help
Pound pound, far underground
Down, down, down in Goblin Town
"Catchy, isn't' it?" says the Goblin King, "It's one of my own compositions"
"That's not a song, it's an abomination!" cries Balin.
"Abominations, mutations, deviations...that all you're gonna find down here", the Goblin King replies.
Our weapons are piled together. The Great Goblin jumps off his throne, trampling several goblins, and approaches the Company.
"Who would be so bold as to come armed into my kingdom? Spies? Thieves? Assassins?" Great Goblin asks
"Dwarves, Your Malevolence." Grinnah replies
"Dwarves?" Great Goblin asks
"We found them on the front porch."
"Well, don't just stand there; search them! Every crack, every crevice."
The goblins search the dwarves thoroughly, throwing away whatever they find. Oin's hearing trumpet is thrown on the floor and crushed underfoot. They empty out a large bag of what appears to be Elvish cutlery and candlesticks. The Goblin King examines a gold candelabra and turns it over: "Made in Rivendell?" he says "Bah - Second Age, couldn't give it away!" he exclaims, and tosses it aside.
Nori has a guilty expression on his face as Dori turns to look at him. "Just a couple of keepsakes", Nori explains. "What are you doing in these parts", the Goblin King asks. "Don't worry, lads - I'll handle this", Oin offers. "No tricks!", says the Goblin King, "I want the truth! Warts and all!" "You're going to have to speak up", Oin says, "Your boys have flattened my trumpet". "I'll flatten more than your trumpet!" the Goblin King roars, and walks toward Oin. "If it's more information you're wanting, i'm the one you should speak to!", Bofur offers. The Goblin King pauses. "We were on the road...well, it's not so much a road as a path...actually, it's not even that, come to think of it, it's more like a track. Anyway, the point is we were on this road, like a path, like a track, and then we weren't! Which is a problem, because we were supposed to be in Dunland last Tuesday." The dwarves try to add additional information before the Goblin King cuts them off. Guys you don't help much do you?!
"Shut up! Well then, if they will not talk, we'll make them squawk! Bring out the Mangler! Bring out the Bone Breaker! Start with the youngest. Wait, Lilja Storm is here, bring her forward." Great goblin says
The Great Goblin points at Ori first then after he sees me he points at me. Two ugly goblins grab me and drag me to a spot with a bar hanging, they put chains on me, they lead me to the great goblin.
"Look on the faces of your kin, my dear" He sneers, they force me to look at my families skulls, I look into the empty sockets and shudder.
"Whip her" Great goblin orders
They put my hands above my head. They grab a whip, I look at Thorin fearful, he looks at me with wide eyes. I mouth to him "I'm so sorry" I feel the whip on my back, I wince. They whip me five more times and are about to do it again, However, Thorin steps forward.
"Wait." Thorin says
"Well, well, well, look who it is. Thorin son of Thrain, son of Thor; King under the Mountain." Great goblin says
The Great Goblin bows exaggeratedly to Thorin.
"Oh, but I'm forgetting, you don't have a mountain. And you're not a king. Which makes you nobody, really. I know someone who would pay a pretty price for your head. Just the head, nothing attached. Perhaps you know of whom I speak, an old enemy of yours. A Pale Orc astride a White Warg."
Thorin looks up in surprise and disbelief.
"Azog the Defiler was destroyed. He was slain in battle long ago." Thorin says
"So you think his defiling days are done, do you?" Great Goblin asks
The Great Goblin laughs, then turns to a tiny goblin sitting in a basket and holding a slate.
"Send word to the Pale Orc; tell him I have found his prize." Great Goblin tells the goblin
The tiny goblin writes down the message on his slate; cackling, he then pulls a lever, causing his basket to start sliding down a system of ropes and pulleys into the darkness.
Back in the throneroom of the Great Goblin, dozens of goblins carry massive instruments of torture on their shoulders, bringing them to the Great Goblin. Meanwhile, the Great Goblin is dancing and singing lustily.
"Bones will be shattered, necks will be rung! You'll be beaten and battered, from racks you'll be hung. You will lie down here and never be found, down in the deep of Goblin Town." Great Goblin sings
Grinnah, one of the goblins, is examining the weapons the dwarves brought with them. He picks up Thorin's sword, Orcrist, and slides it a few inches out of its sheath. Recognizing the sword, he gasps in horror and throws down the sword. It lands in view of all the goblins. Recognizing it, the goblins howl in fear and rage as they retreat from it; the Great Goblin runs rapidly to his throne, trampling many goblins on his way. He speaks loudly, pointing at the sword. I smirk
"I know that sword! It is the Goblin-Cleaver, the Biter, the blade that sliced a thousand necks." Great goblin says
As he speaks, Grinnah and the rest of the Goblins begin whipping the dwarves with ropes and leaping upon them, biting and slashing. I scream "No!"
"Slash them! Beat them! Kill them! Kill them all! Cut off his head!" Great Goblin says
Goblins hold Thorin down, and one of them pulls out his knife and prepares to behead Thorin.
Suddenly, there is a massive explosion of bright light; the sound goes muted as a shock wave rips through the area, flinging goblins in the air and destroying the torturing machines. Everyone is knocked down, including the Great Goblin. When the force of the explosion has passed, most of the lights in the area have been snuffed out; in the background, a shadow with a tall pointy hat walks up. It is Gandalf, holding his staff and his sword, Glamdring. Light slowly returns to the area as the goblins and the dwarves slowly look up, recovering from the shock. We all stare at Gandalf.
"Take up arms. Fight. Fight!" Gandalf yells to the others
The dwarves quickly get up and begin fighting the goblins. As goblins run at Gandalf, he kills them with his sword and staff. The Great Goblin, still lying on the ground, sees Gandalf's sword and points at it, crying aloud to his goblins.
"He wields the Foe-Hammer, the Beater, bright as daylight!" Great Goblin cries
Some of the dwarves reach their pile of weapons and begin tossing the weapons to each other; they use their weapons to defeat the goblins around them. Oin manages to reclaim his hearing trumpet, although it has been quite flattened. Nori, while fighting, lands on the floor; the Great Goblin runs at him and swings his mace.
"Nori!" a dwarf yells
Thorin jumps forward and deflects the Great Goblin's blow, causing the Great Goblin to stumble backward and fall off the edge of his platform, falling to the depths below. The rest of the dwarves and Gandalf continue to fight. Thorin rushes over to me and gets me down and unchained. I grab my weapons and follow Gandalf.
"Follow me. Quick! Run!" Gandalf yells
Cutting down the goblins around us, the dwarves and I and Gandalf run along a pathway leading away from the throne room.
Gandalf and the company run through the suspended passageways of Goblin Town, with hundreds of goblins running after us.
"Quickly!" Gandalf yells
Dwalin sees several goblins running at them from in front; he and some of the dwarves cut a guardrail from the path and hold it out in front of them like a massive spear.
"Charge!" He yells
He and the other dwarves charge at the oncoming goblins and sweep them away with the long rail. Dropping the rail, Dwalin pulls out his axes and begins knocking aside goblins. The rest of the company do the same. Gloin hits one goblin who falls and lands on another suspended path, breaking the path and dropping all the goblins on it into the darkness below. The rest of the Company also fight the goblins around them with their various weapons and fighting styles. Several goblins snarl as they swing on ropes toward the dwarves.
"Cut the ropes!" Thorin yells
Thorin and some of the dwarves cut the ropes holding a raised platform in place; the platform falls outward, entangling the goblins swinging on the ropes. As Kili fights, several goblins start shooting arrows at him. He deflects some arrows with his sword; he then grabs a nearby ladder and drops it on the oncoming goblins. Kili and some of the other dwarves run forward, pushing the ladder and the goblins it has trapped in front of them. As we approach a missing area of the path, the goblins fall down into the darkness; the ladder, however, acts as a bridge for the dwarves to cross to the rest of the path. As soon as we cross it, Dwalin breaks the ladder, preventing the goblins chasing us from crossing it.
"Quickly!" Gandalf yells
The company continues running through the maze-like paths; we get on a section of the path suspended by ropes from above. We slice some ropes, and the pathway swings away from the rest of the path, approaching a different path.
"Jump!" Thorin yells
Several of the dwarves manage to jump to the other path; however, before the rest can, the suspended path swings back like a pendulum to where it started, and several goblins leap on. As the path swings back again, the rest of the dwarves and I and Gandalf manage to jump to the new path as well; we cut the ropes, causing the swinging path and the goblins on it to fall. The dwarves and I and Gandalf continue running through the tunnels, killing all the goblins in our way. Gandalf strikes a rock above them with his staff, causing the rock to fall down and begin rolling in front of the Company, squashing all the goblins in our way. Soon, we approach a bridge between two walls of the cavern. As we try to cross it, the Great Goblin suddenly breaks through from underneath the bridge and pulls himself up onto the bridge, in front of the Company. As the Company pauses, hundreds of goblins approach them from all sides.
"You thought you could escape me?" Great Goblin says I back up to Thorin
The Great Goblin swings his mace twice and Gandalf, causing Gandalf to stumble back and almost fall.
"What are you going to do now, wizard?" Great Goblin asks
Gandalf leaps forward and strikes the Great Goblin in the eye with his staff. The Great Goblin drops his mace and clutches his face in pain.
"Ow, ow, ow!" Great Goblin says
Gandalf steps forward and slices the Great Goblin in the belly; the Great Goblin falls to his knees, clutching his belly.
"That'll do it." Great Goblin says
Gandalf again swings his sword and slices the Great Goblin's neck, causing him to fall down dead. His weight causes the bridge to start shaking; suddenly, the section of the bridge on which the company is standing breaks away from the rest of the bridge and starts sliding down the side of the cavern. The bridge slides at a terrific speed down the cavern wall, demolishing everything in its way; the dwarves cling on, screaming in terror. The bridge slows down and lands at the base of the cavern, breaking apart and burying the dwarves in the timber and wood. Gandalf gets up from the pile of wreckage and inspects the rest of the dwarves, who are still stuck in the wreckage. Thorin gets up and helps me up.
"Well, that could have been worse." Bofur says from the wreckage
Suddenly, the heavy corpse of the Great Goblin lands on the wreckage, squishing the dwarves further. They cry out in pain. Ow!
"You've got to be joking!" Dwalin exclaims
As the dwarves extricate themselves from the rubble, Kili and I look up and see thousands of goblins running at them.
"Gandalf!" Kili exclaims
"There's too many! We can't fight them." Dwalin says
"Only one thing will save us: daylight! Come on! Here, on your feet!" Gandalf says as he helps up Dori
The dwarves get up quickly, helping each other out of the rubble, and they run away, following Gandalf.
Gandalf pauses to count how many dwarves are with him. The dwarves pause to collect their breath.
"Five, six, seven, eight...Bifur, Bofur...that's ten...Fili, Kili...that's twelve...and Bombur - that makes thirteen and Lilja fourteen. Where's Bilbo? Where is our Hobbit? WHERE IS OUR HOBBIT?" Gandalf says
"Curse the the halfling! Now he's lost?!" Dwalin says
"I thought he was with Dori!" Gloin says
"Don't blame me!" Dori exclaims
"But where did you last see him?" Gandalf asks
As the others argue I sit down, Thorin looks at me worried. He then removes my cloak that I had put on after he unchained me. He looks at my back and gasps. He then comes and looks me in the eyes.
"I am so sorry that this happened. It's all my fault" He says
"No, no it's not your fault, it's ok" I say and hug him.
"I think I saw him slip away, when they first collared us." Nori says
"What happened exactly? Tell me!" Gandalf says
"I'll tell you what happend...Master Baggins saw his chance and he took it! He's thought of nothing but his soft bed and his warm hearth since first he stepped out of his door! We will not be seeing our Hobbit again. He is long gone." Thorin says
"No, he isn't." Bilbo says
Bilbo steps out from behind the tree. The dwarves and I look up in shock and relief. Gandalf laughs as he speaks.
"Bilbo Baggins! I've never been so glad to see anyone in my life!" Gandalf says
Bilbo strides forward into the group; he pats Balin affectionately on the shoulder.
"Bilbo...we'd given you up!" Kili says
"How on earth did you get past the Goblins?!" Fili says
"How, indeed." Dwalin says
There is an awkward silence as Bilbo tries to think what to say. In the end, he gives a nervous laugh and puts his hands on his hips. I stand up with Thorin's help.
"Well, what does it matter? He's back!" Gandalf says
"It matters! I want to know - why did you come back?" Thorin asks Bilbo
"Look, I know you doubt me, I know you always have. And you're right, I often think of Bag End. I miss my books. And my armchair. And my garden. See, that's where I belong. That's home. And that's why I came back, cause you don't have one. A home. It was taken from you. But I will help you take it back if I can." Bilbo says to him
After Bilbo speaks, there is silence as the dwarves think about what Bilbo said. Gandalf smiles slightly, happy that Bilbo has changed so much - for the better. I smile.
Hearing some howling, we look and see orcs and wargs coming at us. the other Company members realize they are in danger.
"Out of the frying pan..." Thorin mutters
"...and into the fire! Run! RUN!" Gandalf yells