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A knock on the window interrupted Aquila's nighttime routine.
It was another letter.
It had been a few weeks since both their funerals, and those weeks were filled with visits to the Ministry of Magic, threatening to burn down the school if Dumbledore didn't help, bonding with McGonagall, and so many letters.
Letters from the jury that made the decision to send Sirius to Azkaban, letters from the investigation department who had found Sirius 'killing' those people, letters from a Squib that lived in Harry's neighbourhood and letters from Gringotts because Aquila now had to manage the accounts of Sirius, Regulus, herself, James', her parents and Bellatrix's.
Safe to say, she was rich.
She didn't need to work a day more in her life if she didn't feel like it, but she had to. To take her mind off.
At first, it felt like the most difficult thing, moving on, but she felt that Regulus would always be alive somewhere, within her. And James, as his funeral indicated, was alive in everyone he had ever met, from the best friend rotting in prison to the werewolf spending his days in a shack because he didn't want 'charity' from Aquila.
The letter was written on school parchment, so not from Gringotts. Or the Ministry.
And it was addressed to 'Aquila', not 'Miss Black', meaning it was from someone expressing their condolences.
The letter was a bit heavy, and a small velvet pouch came out.
Her breath knocked out of her. There was a small note on the pouch. James' handwriting.
Read the letter first.
Aquila's fingers fumbled as she opened the letter, gliding her fingers across the page as if to memorise what James had touched.
Hey Quilly,
You're not crying, are you?
You better not be crying.
What good would it do the world if the powerful Miss Aquila Black cried over insy-winsy Potter?
And what good would it do me to know you were crying when I'm not there to comfort you?
I'm actually writing this right now, like, it's barely been five months into hiding. I know you have questions, and I'm going to answer them all.
The child is not mine.
I would never cheat on you, I would never betray you, not even in the most drunken of stupours.
Partly because I love you so much, but also because my mum swore she would never let me in the house if I did that.
Aquila let out a small laugh through the sniffles.
I'm telling you something, but you can't tell it to anyone else. Lily doesn't know who the father of the child is. And well. . .don't kill him for this, but Dumbledore told me to stay with her as her 'protection', but then it seemed weird. Lily was afraid that future baby Harry would be the prophecy child, but personally, I think she's hoping for it to be Frank and Alice's kid.
She thinks it's selfish, but I think it's natural for her to want to defend her child.
She got pregnant with a random hookup, but she knows it was a wizard. There's rumours saying that it's mine and Lily's child, but Dumbledore's doing nothing to stop them.
I don't like it.
How jerk-ish does it make me look, taking one girl to meet my parents and then getting another girl pregnant? I'm not like that, Aquila, and you know it as well as anyone does.
And fuck, I never realised how hard life would be without your constant presence. I started drinking my tea with no sugar and a tiny splash of milk, and even though I hate the taste, it just reminds me of you.
Lily questions my house with the amount of green I wear.
I think I'm questioning it too.
I'm going to see Sirius soon. I'm hoping his visit gives me some relief, some way of seeing a loved face.
It's just awkward between Lily and I. Everyone thinks we had sex but I don't even know her middle name.
31/07
I didn't know babies were this small, to be honest.
Everyone tells me he 'looks exactly like you, James!' but how?
Number one, all babies look the same, and number two, HE ISN'T MY KID!
Not to say I don't love him, though. I had just hoped I'd get to share these moments with you.
But people will see what they want to see. They see Lily's eyes in him and my face, but I see a normal baby.
He is very pretty though, so he might have got that from my company.
Maybe when he grows up, and if he wears glasses, people will try to find me in his face and find similarities when there are none. It would be nice to be remembered.
Listen, I know this isn't going to last long. Either I'm gonna lose my mind from staying in this house all day and run outside and get killed, or your friend Voldy is going to kill me. Either way, I have accepted this, and if I go out to make a difference in this world, then damn if this isn't going to be worth it.
I just have one regret, Quilly.
There's something I need you to do.
I need you to not cry.
I know shit sucks, and I know you barely have a life without me (I'm joking I love you), but I want you to try and move on. I won't ask you to forget about me, because that would be hurtful (again, I'm joking).
But all I'm saying is, I know what's coming. And I'm ready for it. And I don't regret it. So I need you to not regret it, too. If the death of one person can stop the deaths of thousands, is it really that bad?
Also, about the addition to the letter.
I assume Regulus already told you, but the pouch. . .
Aquila's fingers fumbled with the knot on the top, and out toppled the ring James' mother wore. It was an emerald-embedded ring, with a slight engraving of 'Potter' on the inside edge. Her eyes teared up more, if possible, and she wiped them quickly so as to not smudge the ink on the paper.
Well, let's just say my mother adored you.
It's my dad's family ring. She wanted me to give it to you, and I was going to. I was going to plan a getaway to France and get you a sugar high from crêpes and pancakes and everything in between, and then hypnotise you with my charm before proposing to you. But unfortunately, you'll have to take my letter.
Anyway, Harry's crying again, and I'm on diaper duty. Every time I change his diaper I'm scared my hands will smell like poop forever. Fortunately, it hasn't happened yet.
I really hope I see you once more. If not, I always have that beautiful photo of us from the Graduation Ball.
I love you, Quilly, and I want you to take care. I need you to take care.
Meet me again in the skies, my love.
Forever yours,
James.
Aquila wiped her eyes, smiled through the tears. The ring fit her perfectly, and Aquila assumed it was magic.
She went to the stove and set the tea. Enough sugar to give someone a toothache. Exactly the way James drank it.
And the taste did give her a toothache, but it was like getting a hug from him.
Maybe she wasn't okay, but she would be.
Because the ones who love us never really leave us, do they?
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- the end -
i know everyone is mad at me for killing, well, everyone, but i wanted to bring about canon some way or the other.
i will post a few scenes of the future, of Aquila and the Golden Trio era, so don't log out just yet!