TW: slight gore description in this first part
"Guys?"
Your voice rings out into the bullpen. The dim lighting makes it hard to see, but you stumble through the darkened pathway through the empty rows of desks. You call out for your teammates again, but you get no response.
You feel bile rising in your stomach as you descend the stairs to enter the round table room and upon trying to yell their names again, you find that your voice can only come out as a hoarse whisper. Exhaling slowly through your nose to calm yourself, your fingers trace over the cold metal of the gun on your hip.
You ease the door open with the tip of your boot and pull out your weapon, ready to take aim at any potential threat. Your eyes take a moment to adjust to the light that flashes on from above you.
The team is laying on the floor. All of them, blood spilling from some unknown wounds as they lay lifeless in various positions. Dead, limp.
You try to cry out, but your voice is gone, so all you can do is feel the hot tears that fall from your cheeks and the blood pounding in your veins as you fall to their sides. Spencer, Emily, Penny, all of them laying in a heap of pale, clammy skin. You pull them apart, trying to see any way to resuscitate them despite somehow knowing they're gone. JJ, Derek, Rossi. Your chest wracks with sobs that you somehow can't let out.
Wait, where's Aaron?
Before you can wonder for too long, you hear movement around the dark shadows that cover the corners. Footsteps, laughter, some unknown sound that seems to be everywhere and yet nowhere all at once.
You stagger to your feet and hold your gun in shaking hands, finger pressing on the trigger. You try to shoot into the darkness, trying to defend yourself and catch whoever did this sick act. You find your gun is jammed. It refuses to let out a bullet, making you defenseless.
You finally find yourself able to let out a scream as the seventh body drops to the floor from a dark shadow in the corner.
Aaron.
You fall to your knees, dropping your useless gun to the side. From the new angle, you can just barely make out a pair of black... heels?
Your back straightens suddenly and you find your hand immediately drawn to your hip. Your heart begins to race upon not finding your gun, but you begin to recall taking it off before you fell asleep. On the jet.
You shake your head a little and look around, observing the team sitting in various placements on the jet, all staring at you.
"Sorry" you apologize quickly, shaking the tiredness from your head and wiping the remnants of sleep from your eyes. You scan the jet and breath out a sigh of relief when you spy your weapon across the jet. You knew you could protect yourself with or without it, but the gun was just another piece of reassurance proving that you could take care of yourself if need be.
"You okay?" Spencer asked from the couch across the jet. His voice was still croaky, evidence that he was asleep not long ago.
"Yeah, yes, I'm fine" you lie, nodding your head slightly while sitting up. "Sorry, did I disturb you guys?"
"No, you just worried us a bit," JJ said softly, glancing at you with a worried look. "You were tossing and turning a bit, then you shot straight up."
"The case bothering you, kid?" Rossi asked. You realized the whole team was up now, looking at you with various degrees of concern. The whole team being up was rare after a long case like that.
"No, not really" you shake your head "just an odd dream." That wasn't a total lie, the case hadn't bothered you as much as some did. It was a long one, 4 dead bodies over a 3 day period were nothing to scoff at, but it didn't hit you as hard as some other cases did. As horrible as it was, your mind was too cluttered with other things to focus on anything other than solving the case as efficiently as possible.
"Wait, let me guess, you showed up to give a presentation in school in just your underwear" Morgan guessed, trying to lighten the mood and take some unwanted attention off you. He flashed his signature smile, and you shot him a thankful glance.
"You wish, Derek" Emily rolled her eyes "those are tame compared to some others. You ever had dreams about your teeth falling out?"
"No, but I once dreamt I swan-dived off the Hollywood sign into a pool of snakes."
"That is a dream that only you would ever have, Morgan."
You roll your eyes endearingly at your team's antics as Morgan and Emily continue their debate about common types of dreams. Spencer flashes you a tight-lipped smile before curling up with his jacket and falling asleep. JJ is busy stooping two cups of mint tea, presumably for her and Emily if her adoring glances are anything to go by. Rossi is nursing a glass of bourbon and reading a "classic" book with an Italian title.
You realize how at home you feel with your team. How well they work together and get along. You really are all a family, even if you hadn't stopped to notice it before. You wondered how this team could ever function without one another. You wondered how well they would function without you.
Before you get too lost in thought, you lock eyes with Aaron, who has maintained his usual silence this whole time. The look of concern in his eyes and furrowed brows is clear, and he tilts his head at you, as if asking if you're really alright. It was funny how he could communicate without saying a thing.
You give him a quick smile, careful to remain inconspicuous to the rest of the distracted team. You try your best to communicate to him that you're fine, but the worry doesn't disappear from his face. You can't tell if it's because he doesn't understand or just because he doesn't believe you.
Your phone begins to vibrate loudly at your side, catching your attention. You quickly draw your phone out of your pocket with still-shaking hands to see the caller ID. Katie, of course. Who else would it be?
"Sorry, I've got to take this." You quickly excuse yourself to the other side of the jet, closing the curtains to shield yourself from the curious eyes of your team.
You spy the bathroom door and lock yourself within its small confines without a second thought. It's extremely small, only enough room for you to stand and sit, but it's private and will give you an opportunity to speak without being heard.
"Katie?" you rub your temples with your free hand as you accept the call and place the ear next to your phone.
"Hello, y/n," her voice is far too smooth. Cool, collected. "I realize it's late, but-"
"No, Katie, it might be late where you're at, in Virginia, but I'm across the country and 3 hours ahead of you. I told you not to call me while I'm on cases." You realize you're being a bit short with her, but between the lack of sleep from the case, the stress of the decision she's forced you into, and the anxiety about the team hearing you, you're not exactly in the mood to be kind.
"I apologize" she begins, her voice suddenly cold "I didn't realize-"
"You didn't ask" you interrupt "If you insist on contacting me, I would appreciate if you would just text first."
"Would you make agent Hotchner text you first? Better, yet, would you ever speak to him like this?" She snaps back. Her cool demeanor is suddenly gone.
"He's my superior, unlike you." The words are out of your mouth before you can stop them.
"Oh, does that mean you've decided against my proposition?" She questions "I have to admit, Y/n, I didn't expect a smart girl like you to make such a stupid choice."
"No, that's not what I meant." You close your eyes and rub your temples, soothing the headache you can feel forming. Talking to this woman could be so draining. "I haven't decided yet."
"It's a cut and dry decision, really. I don't understand what there is to think about. I recommend you take my very generous invitation to work for me and leave your team in tack. Although, I don't believe you are taking time to decide anymore, are you, Y/n?"
"What are you suggesting?"
"You're stalling. And being indecisive is a bad appearance, especially to your potential employer." Her voice is sharp, leaving no room for argument.
"Well, being overbearing is a bad look to a potential employee" you shoot back "and you promised me two weeks. It's barely been one. I need time to consider my team."
"What you mean to say is you want to spend more time with Aaron. Honestly, Y/n, I'll never understand your interest in the man."
"And I'll never understand your infatuation with our relationship, which is strictly professional" You lie "and frankly, I don't appreciate you accusing me of such things."
"Relationship, huh?" She snorts "What, did he brush your hand while dropping paperwork on your desk? Did he look at you a second too long while delivering a profile? Is that his idea of romancing you? Give it up, for the love of God, there's nothing for you with him." Her voice has turned to anger, her reactions much less controlled after the mention of your boss.
"It's not really any of your business" You retort.
"Has he fucked you yet? Left you unsatisfied, I'm sure?" She's borderline enraged. You don't mean to, but you laugh.
"No," you say. It's half true, as it only answers one of her questions. You've certainly never been left unsatiated. "And that's an incredibly inappropriate question. Did you call to ask me something or just to accuse me of whoring myself out? Let me guess, next you'll say I went down on the director of the FBI."
"Don't speak to me that way. And as a matter of fact, I do have news for you, since you want it so bad" she sneers "I've decided your deadline is up. And I need an answer now, since you've decided to stall and waste my time. I believe you already have made your decision, deep down."
"You can't do that" you argue "you gave me two weeks, and I plan to use them."
"In case you forgot, darling, this is my game, and I make the rules. Your decision will be required by the end of the day."
"No" you shrug defiantly "I'll be contacting you on the 14th day, as we discussed. Until then, I'll not be answering any calls."
"You wouldn't-"
"I would" your face heats up from anger "and don't call me darling. I'm not your girlfriend."
You hang up on her before she has a chance to argue. You take a deep breath and worry you may have acted a bit rashly, but when she calls again, you don't regret taking a stand. You turn off your phone to silence her calls and shove it in your pocket before leaving the bathroom.
_______________
"Y/n?"
Your head turns upon closing your trunk, hearing your boyfriend's voice.
"Hey, shouldn't you be heading home?" You ask, still looking at the closed trunk lid. You barely made eye contact with him all the way home.
"I was going to, I just wanted to make sure you're alright," he says gently. He looks around the parking garage, making sure no one is around before he walks up to you. He gently cups your face, raising it up to meet his. "Come on, tell me what's bothering you."
"I'm okay, really" you give a light smile, hand gently holding his wrist "Just tired. I guess I haven't felt like myself for the past few days. I think a few hours of sleep will do me good."
"Hmm" he hums "I get it. Do you want to come over? Jack has been asking about you. You don't have to be alone right now if you don't want to be."
"That's sweet, Aaron, but I should really go home for a bit. Chores and stuff, you know?" You say "But tell Jack I miss him and I'll try to come around soon."
"Alright, as long as you're sure," he says. He looks worried still, and your heart sinks.
"About Saturday-" you blurt out.
"Please, don't worry about it" he deflects "If you're not feeling well, forget about it. We don't have to do anything you don't want to do." Saturday was the designated day for your "get-together" after he won the bet. Jack was going to a sleepover with his soccer team that night, so you were both free to spend the night together.
"No, I'll be fine" you shake your head "I...was just going to say seven at my place works." You smile again, trying to prove your normalcy to him. The last thing you want is for him to worry about you. "I'm looking forward to it."
that wasn't a complete lie. You were looking forward to it. Even though his winning made the whole night his choice, you knew it would be fun for you too. At the very least, you hoped it might provide some stress release that you desperately needed. A feeling of normalcy and connection wouldn't hurt either.
"Alright, but only if you're feeling up to it," he says, and you nod. "Let me know if you need anything, alright? I'm around."
"I know. You always are."
He places a gentle kiss on your lips, but you sigh as he pulls away and removes his hand.
"You'll be here tomorrow?" he asks.
"Same as always." That was the great thing about the BAU. It was like this fixed, immovable object. At least it used to be.
"Alright, I'll see you then" he nods "get some sleep, alright?"
"Yeah, you too."
I love you. It's on the tip of your tongue. It would feel natural to say, but you hold it back. You sort of wonder if he feels the same.
_______________
You're obsessively cleaning your kitchen countertops when you hear a heavy knock at your door. You have a bad habit of cleaning to cope, and today is no exception. You sort of sigh at the interruption that stopped you before you could really even get started. You hadn't even been home an hour yet.
You glance out the peephole, half-expecting to see Aaron standing at your apartment door. You groan when you spy Katie, who looks more pissed than ever. You consider not answering, but when she knocks heavily again, you realize you don't have much of a choice.
"Katie?" You open the door slightly, inserting yourself between the opening and her. "Why are you here? This is so-"
"I'm here because you're being unprofessional and refused to answer my calls after blatantly disrespecting me. Now open the door or the deal is off, and you can say goodbye to your precious boyfriend and his position" She demands.
"You wouldn't dare" You challenge, but you widen the door for her "you need me too much for that."
"Don't underestimate me, sweetheart, it'll be a mistake" She huffs, entering your apartment and brushing past your shoulder. "It's no skin off my back if your whole unit falls apart."
You shut the door behind her, leaning against it with your arms crossed as you looked back at her. You didn't like the way her eyes were probing your apartment.
"What do you want, Katie?"
"What I want is for you to respect me" She huffs, her voice calming now that she's gotten what she wanted "I guarantee you would never speak to agent Hotchner in that tone of voice, would you?"
"No, ma'am, I suppose not" You give a tight-lipped smile "but I suppose agent Hotchner wouldn't be bursting into my apartment without warning, either, now would he?"
"You gave me no choice with that stunt you pulled" she glares at you "If you work for me, you'll have to learn to take my calls at all times, and preferably with less attitude."
"Fine" you shrug "If you employ me, you might have to stick to the time limits you give to me."
She chuckles, crossing her arms over her body "Still feisty, I see. I can appreciate a woman who knows what she wants." Her ability to change moods so quickly was concerning. "Do you make everyone you invite into your apartment stand in the entryway or do you invite some to sit down?"
"I didn't invite you," You think to yourself. But instead, you invite her to sit at your kitchen counter. She asks for a glass of water, which she takes a long sip of before speaking. You lean against the stove, once again opposite from her.
"You said not to call you, so I figured you'd like to see me in person," she says. "I realize my methods may seem...invasive, but trust me, I'm just trying to help. I like you, Y/n, and I believe we can get along. We're just so similar, we butt heads."
"Something like that" you mutter "if we're going to make this work, you can't just barge into my apartment like this. We're not dating, Katie, we're professional."
Her eyes narrow at the reminder. She takes another deep sip of her water, slamming the empty cup back down.
"My decision stands," she says "Strauss will be expecting you to come into her office first thing on Monday morning. I've already spoken to her, and she will be ready to help you make the transfer smoother. That's the due date for your decision."
"How do you know I'm choosing to transfer?" You question "I might choose to stay right where I am."
"Because I know you, Y/n" she looks into your eyes endearingly "You're selfless. And you would never do anything to harm your team if you could stop it. Which you can. As I said, I know you're decision is already made internally and you're stalling for time. But you can't hide forever."
She stands, reaching across the table to shake your hand.
"Thank you for your time," she says, staying professional, or at least trying to "I hope you'll consider my advice from earlier."
"About the transfer?"
"About Aaron. You'll find that relationships with hours like we work are a lot more difficult in separate units. I don't imagine you would see each other much anyway." You swear you see a smug smile on her face before she turns to walk to your door. "Remember, Monday. You have the weekend to get everything in order. Don't be late."
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Hey guys!
I know it's been soooooo long since I updated last and I'm sorry! But depression and writer's block are a hell of a combination
Either way, here's the new chapter! Lots of angst, so the next chapter I promise some smutty smutty goodness.
Thanks for reading and as always I love any and all comments!
-S 💕