+ Joe's P.O.V
Am I a bad guy? No. At least I don't think so, considering there will always be people who like you, and people who do not. Do I want to get a great grade on the Science Project? Yes, yes, yes a hundred percent, yes! I always need A's in every single class because being smart is the only good trait I have.
So when Mr. Gordon told me I was going to be getting Caspar fudgin' Lee as a partner - mind you, he came to school today with a hangover, once dumped a girl because she wouldn't kiss him, barely passes his class (probably), and is just everything that I hate in a person - the first thought that ran through my mind was: What? and then as it dawned on me who I got as a partner, the second thought was: Holy fucking shit I'm going to be stuck doing all the work.
I know about Caspar. A lot actually, as odd and stalker-ish as it sounds. Being the quiet guy in the back of all my classes, I hear things. Things that may just be a rumor, or may be real, but they still make me silently judge people. Not that it's any of my business, but what am I supposed to do when the two boys in front of me just won't shut up about how cute Tanya is and how they wish they were Jim, or the two girls behind me who just won't shut up about how cute my sister and Alfie Deyes would look together? Just ignore it? I'm not going to. It entertains me. And although I know I shouldn't judge people based on things I just hear about them I can't help but judge people based on what I hear, and the things that I have heard about Caspar vary from bad, to good, to straight up gross.
One of the things I have heard about him before is that once, he got partnered up with someone named Chris, and did jack-shit. Absolutely nothing, and I know it was true because I was in their class and when they were presenting, Chris did all the talking and when Caspar was asked a question about their project; he just laughed and completely dodged the question before he looked at Chris, and passed the question onto him. His charm and his arrogance irritates me so much and I honestly do not want to be partners with him. AT ALL.
Not only that, but I just hate group/partner projects in general. Being kind of a perfectionist, as some say, I usually end up telling people how to do something or fix something they did wrong, because I don't like it that way, and they end up thinking I'm some asshole or something just for wanting an A.
I guess I kind of am, and I feel horrible about it afterwards, but I can't help it, I mean; I NEED TO PASS. It's basically the whole point of going to school in the first place, it's to pass and then go on to be successful in your life, and marry, and have kids, and although I do love to learn, I can't wait till I get to ditch this hell hole and leave.
I can't wait to leave because of people like Caspar; people who are arrogant and don't know how lucky enough they are to be able to learn, when there are some countries who don't even have schools. And my hate for him just fuels up when I'm reading over the requirements for the Science Project, and Caspar is just blankly staring at the paper. It makes me so irritated and frustrated and just something about this boy gets under my skins and makes it crawl because god dammit I need to get an A.
"Caspar," I say, making him look up. God, it hasn't even been 20 minutes sitting alone with him and I already want to pull my hair out. Maybe I should ask Dan and Phil for advice the next time I see them? I actually didn't feel uncomfortable around them like I do with other people. Even if I only had one conversation with them, they seem like intelligent people. I just hope they don't tell me straight up that I'm just being a dick. "Are you paying attention?"
He coughed and sat up, peering down at the paper. "Yeah, of course."
I rolled my eyes. "Then what have I been telling you this whole time we've been talking?"
He blinked and coughed into his hand again before clearing his throat. "Talking about how the Potato thing would be a good project?"
I sucked in a deep breath. Of course, he wouldn't be listening, because unlike me, he doesn't give a damn about anything but kissing girls and getting drunk. "No. You aren't even close. I was going over the rules of the fair, and we are not going to do any of the stupid projects on that paper Mr. Gordon gave us, so I know we aren't doing the 'Potato project', as you put it."
Caspar frowned. "Why can't we do one from the paper? They are recommended."
I felt myself get irritated more and more every time he spoke. I felt like I was building up and would suddenly explode like a volcano over how idiotic this guy was. Yeah, I'm probably being totally unreasonable right now, but Caspar just - ugh! I can't even explain how angry he's making me. I'm probably just not in a very good mood right now. For what, I don't know, but I do know I should not be taking it out on Caspar.
"Because," I said, slapping his paper down and making him look me in the eye. He looked nervous and intimidated and scared. My heart started beating faster and every single fiber in my body was telling me to stop and be the bigger person, but I felt like exploding, and I couldn't stop it. "everyone else will be doing those, and we might get extra points or credit and closer to being chosen as one of the five best in the class if we do something original."
All he did was nod and taking that as the only thing I was going to get from him, I tried about to go back to reading it, but then he said something that made me almost hop over the desk and strangle him.
"I don't have to do a lot of work, do I?"
I sucked in a deep breath, clenching my hand into a fist and slamming it on my paper, feeling it crinkle slightly from how hard I slammed my fist on it. Stop it, Joe! I yelled at myself, but I couldn't stop myself. Caspar was just so irritating and I wanted to wipe that stupid innocent look off of his stupid face.
Being smart enough not to hit him, although I felt like I should do it very much, I just said: "Listen here, blondie. This is a group project, NOT an independent project. You will be doing half the work, and I will be doing half the work, and we will be cooperating together, and it will be better than everyone else's or I swear to GOD I will chop your balls off. I know what you're probably thinking; wow, he's so unfair, but you need to grow the hell up. I will not let you, or anyone else, make me do their work in a group project. If I do, I will go straight to the teacher and let you fail. Got that?"
Every word I said came up as if it were vomit, and when I was finished; my brain was screaming at me, telling me to apologize, that I had no right to speak to Caspar like that, that I was a total fucking idiot and I should never do that to anyone again. My heart was beating ten times faster than normal, and my chest was heaving slightly. My face was red, and as my anger simmered down, it turned into embarrassment.
"Now," I said, picking up my paper with trembling hands; my voice smaller than it was a few minutes ago. "We will go over the ru-" before I could even finish what I had to say, the bell rung, signaling second period. Before I could tell Caspar to go over everything when he got home tonight, he was running out of the room with his friends Marcus and Alfie right behind him before I could even blink.
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'He's a nightmare, honestly. No wonder he hasn't got any friends.' Is probably what Caspar may be telling his friends right now, but a lot less Harry Potter-like. I know he must think something along those lines, because I'm not stupid. I know what I said, and I feel absolutely embarrassed for saying it now. He must be thinking, and probably talking, about how bitchy I am right now to his friends, and how he wished he could trade partners.
I couldn't do anything about him hating me, but I could do something about his participation in this project. I don't know what I'm going to do with him yet, so I'll look it up online tonight and research some experiment's that follow all the rules and requirements of the project. Hopefully, he'll accept my apology and we could just hash everything out and be like normal, civilized human beings.
Since I didn't have any classes with Caspar until after lunch, I spent the next 2 periods before lunch trying to pay attention, but I couldn't. Luckily I was great at English, and luckily my sister is great at Maths so she could help me with my homework later if I needed any help with it. I spent the whole period of English reading one of my books, trying to calm myself down from all the emotions I was feeling at the moment; embarrassment, hope, anger. I didn't even read the book in front of me. I just stared at the pages, my brain cooking up in storm as the teacher drawled on about something for 50 minutes straight.
'You're such an asshole, Joe, just go easy on him.' I would be telling myself, before the next minute, where I would be thinking about ways to switch partners. 3 weeks is what Mr. Gordon said, I think. I'll try to remember to ask him tomorrow, but all I know is that it's over a week and in that week, I will have to try to pretend as if I actually like Caspar. Which will probably never happen, considering he is the total opposite of me, and like I said before, everything I hate in a person.
In Maths I had a substitute, which I was actually kind of glad for. Mrs. Lily, my regular teacher, always teaches us stuff no matter what day it is, or how much time in class we have. Usually I enjoy it and pay close attention, my hand scribbling notes down at a frequent speed, but I was just so irritated over the Science Project today that I could barely pay attention. Throughout the whole class, I was so worried I wasn't going to get an A that if she was here I would take one look at the board full of math equations and break into tears because my mind would completely be in the gutter. But, thank the lord, she wasn't here and I could spend the period with my head down, trying to let my brain take a break.
The substitute gave us a worksheet and said that if we didn't finish in class, it was homework, so I slid it in my book-bag and laid my head down in the crook of my elbow. Usually, equations, and books, and experiments are easy for me, being the one always desperate to learn something new and fill my big head with knowledge, but with Caspar on my mind I felt like crying for just glancing at one equations or another.
I need an 'A' on this project.
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When lunch finally rolled around, I felt something between relief and nervousness. I have lunch with Caspar. Then after Lunch, I have History with Caspar. And that could be either good, or bad. Good being he ignores me and I could have a nice, peaceful and calm lunch, and bad being he told his friends what an ass I am, and now everyone in the world suddenly hates me. The mere thought of walking past his table only to be stopped and yelled at like I yelled at him makes me shiver in fear and wish for a black hole to open up beneath my feet and swallow me hole.
My mind was so clouded with all of these racing thoughts of Caspar, and our Science project, and the thought of people hating me caused me to drift into my own world as I entered the Cafeteria. I barely heard anybody speaking, and I didn't know where I was walking until I tripped over something and fell on my face.
My nose fucking hurt. Like not 'omg ow I accidentally hurt myself!' It was like 'HOLY FUCKIN' GOD I THINK I BROKE SOMETHING. IT'S NOT BLACK OR BLUE OR TWISTED LIKE BROKEN THINGS ON YOUR BODY ACTUALLY ARE, BUT I'M PRETTY SURE IT'S BROKEN' hurt. I brought my arms under me and pushed myself up, twisting myself over and up, sitting on the ground and holding my nose. I must have landed somewhere where my sister was - she shared this lunch too, but always sat with her friends while I sat in a corner, chewing on my lunch and wishing I was dead - because I heard her yell my name and laughs surrounding me as I clutched onto my nose harder, as if that could get rid of the pain.
Looking up, I saw that Zoe was in front of me, Alfie behind her. Zoe hung out most of the time with people like Alfie and Caspar. It kind of irritated me that she did, considering I hate Caspar and most of his friends, but it's her life and she could do whatever she wanted to do. Alfie looked amused, smirking as he saw me clutch my nose, and Zoe looked worried; her big sister mode activated 100% percent.
When we were younger, Zoe was always the one to take care of me when I got hurt, and always the one to stand up to my bullies for me since I was a giant wimp. Whenever I would fall down and get hurt badly, she would always be the first one by my side; calling it her 'big sister' sixth sense.
"Joe, are you okay? Oh my god, you're bleeding!" Zoe cried out, reaching out and putting her hand on my shoulder, a sign of comfort. I groaned and brought my hand away from my face, seeing blood smeared all over my hand, and feeling warm liquid dribble down my nose and onto my lips.
"Put your head back, I'll take you to the nurse." Zoe pinched my nose and let me tilt my head back, before helping me up. My neck felt stiff and awkward, my whole face screaming in discomfort as I tried to get back up on my two legs without using a hand to help push me off the floor.
"You know this kid?" Alfie asked Zoe as she laid her hand on my elbow. I almost scoffed, but I was busy trying to stop the nose bleed. Alfie has been in my classes for the past four years, has even taunted me a couple of times, has been in my house, but I guess I was popular enough on his radar for him to pay attention to who the hell I am.
"Yes," Zoe snapped, not looking over at him. "He's my brother."
Alfie laughed, which wasn't a good thing because Zoe took the hand she wasn't using to help me and punched him in the arm with it. He let out a groan and held it. At least I think he did. My head was starting to get dizzy from looking down my nose to see what was happening, and things were getting blurry and my eyes felt strained. "Sorry, it's just...you look nothing alike."
Zoe just glared at him. "He's my younger brother, okay? I don't have time to talk to you, I need to get him to the nurse. Tell Louise and Tanya where I'm going." Then she helped me walk to the nurse's office; people looking over and stifling laughs,even hearing someone call me Suggy The Sad Snout.
I never figured out what I tripped over, but I felt like it was karma for what I said to Caspar.
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After the nurse helped stop my nose bleed, and checked me for a concussion, she left to get an accident report and I decided to ask my sister about Caspar. I knew she was friends with him, and I didn't like it as I've said before, but I wanted to play dumb and innocent. When Zoe finds out what I said to him, she'll go full sister mode and give me a 'stern talking to', acting like some mother hen or something.
"Hey, do you know Caspar Lee?" I asked, swinging my feet on the bed I was sitting on since my feet didn't touch the ground. Being small has it's pros and it's cons.
She raised her eyebrows when I asked that, looking down at where I was sitting, her arms crossing against her chest. I still had dry blood on my hands, I noticed when I saw my own dry blood on her hand as they crossed, but I could wash them in the bathroom later, even if it was starting to feel crusty. "Yes, I know Caspar. Why?"
I just shrugged, looking down at my swinging feet. "I got partnered up with him for a Science project, and I just wanted to know if the things people say about him is true. You know, that he makes him partners do his work." I know it's true. I just wanted Zoe to know.
Zoe grinded her teeth, scoffing. Maybe she doesn't like Caspar as much as I thought she does. "Yes, Caspar usually makes his partners do a lot of the work, but not all of it. He's a good guy, his heart is in the right place, but he's so lazy America is jealous. Just don't let him walk all over you, okay? I don't want you to do all the work and him get all the credit."
"But I wont-" she cut me off before I could finish, her eyes locked with mine, a serious look on her face.
"I know you, Joe. You may act all tough, but you're so nice and say yes to everyone, and just let them walk all over you. Don't do that with Caspar."
I just stayed silent until the nurse came back, and I had to fill out the accident report.
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- Caspar's P.O.V
"Hey, you know your Science Partner?" Was the first thing said to me when I sat down at my usual lunch table with Louise, Marcus, Jim, Tanya, Zoe and Alfie. Sometimes Connor, Tyler and Troye sit over here, but they weren't sitting here today. Neither was Zoe, I guessed, since I didn't see her anywhere as I settled into my seat.
I groaned as I let my lunch tray hit the table, rolling my eyed and thinking about Joe snapping at me in first period. I had no idea what the hell that kids problem was, but he had some serious anger issues he needed to get in check with. "Yes," I replied, my voice dripping with irritation. "I do. He's my Science Partner. He's also a giant pain in the ass. I mean; he kind of snapped on me for no reason at all! Like, I wasn't listening to him, yeah, but he didn't need to threaten to cut my dick off! He's so tiny and shouldn't have that much anger in that body."
Jim, who was sitting next to me snorted. "Now we get why Zoe is like that,"
I looked at him, tilting my head to the side in confusion. "What does Zoe have to do with this?"
Jim just put an arm around me, giving me a comforting squeeze on my shoulder. "Oh, Caspar. Poor, poor, Caspar."
I brushed his arm off me, and looked at Alfie. If there was anyone who knew anything about Zoe, it was Alfie. "What is he talking about?" I said, pointing to Jim with my thumb as I spoke.
Alfie just shrugged. "I don't know, probably the fact that your partner is Zoe's brother."
I blinked. When the hell did Zoe get a brother? I mean, I guess like a long time ago since he's like in my grade and all, and probably around the same age as us, but why didn't she tell me? Or maybe she did and I just wasn't listen. That happens a lot. Very short attention span, I have. "Joe...Sugg?" Was all I said after just staring blankly at Alfie for a moment.
"Yeah. I knew she had a little brother but I thought he was like super young. Zoe doesn't speak about him much, I think. Louise said she knows him. Right, Louise?"
I looked over at Louise who grinned and nodded. "He's such a shy guy," she said. "but so adorable, and so nice. He hasn't many friends, though. I asked Zoe why he doesn't come and hang with us, but she said he's very independent."
I snorted, rolling my eyes. "He is not nice. He threatened to cut my boy parts off because I wasn't paying attention to him. Spend three seconds not doing what he wants, and he gets so mad for no reason at all."
Louise rolled her eyes. "Knowing you, you probably deserved it. Besides, Zoe threatens you all the time and you still praise the grounds she walks on."
Feeling my face heat up, I picked up one of the three cheese sticks I had on my tray and bit into them, chewing fast. "Guess it's in the sugh bwood," I said around a mouth full of cheese. I used to have a little crush on Zoe but it faded fast, especially when I found out Alfie liked her. Now she's like a sister to me so even thinking about her in a romantic way is gross.
"Don't talk with your mouth full, Caspar," Tanya said, giving me a disgusted look and shaking her head. "It's gross."
I just shrugged, swallowing the chewed up food in my mouth. "Anyways," I started, wiping my mouth off with the back of my hand. "Joe is a total dick. I know I wasn't paying attention and he was angry I wasn't going over the stupid paper for the Science project, but we have like 3 weeks to do it. Honestly, what crawled up his ass and died?"
Louise and Tanya scoffed, both of them giving me an identical glare.
"That's why, then. You were ignoring the project." Louise said.
"I know the type of person Joe is," Tanya butted in, a sort of smug look on her face. "I may not know him personally, but I have him in my Graphic's class and he's the type of person who is dedicated to their homework like people are dedicated to the Bible. I saw his grades when he checked it on the computer once. All 4.00's. He also finished an assignment the day it was due. A bright one he is,"
Marcus laughed across the table. "Yeah, a bright nerd."
Jim shifted uncomfortably, narrowing his eyes. "He isn't a nerd. Joe seems pretty cool. I mean I only saw him face-plant but-"
I cut him off. "Face-plant?"
Alfie and Marcus started to laugh with each other while Jim, Tanya and Louise all roll their eyes.
"Dude, Zoe was so worried. Like he got a nose bleed and everything!" Marcus yelled, making Alfie laugh harder.
"I-I know it's horrible, considering it's Z-Zoe's br-brother, but I just found it so funny!"
Jim rolled his eyes. "Wow, one guy trips over a book bag and it's the funniest thing since Kevin Hart. Seriously, guys, leave him alone."
I didn't really know what to say, considering it was Zoe's brother. I mean, Zoe's one of my best friends but I don't have to like her brother, right? I mean, I will totally switch partners if Joe is cool with it and if Mr. Gordon will let me. If that's what Joe acts like the full three weeks we work on the project, I'll probably go out of my mind. "Would Zoe be mad if I tried to switch partners because I hate Joe? And would Zoe still even like me if I hate Joe?"
The girls and Jim rolled their eyes at me for probably the sixth time in just two seconds.
"You have no reason to hate him," Tanya said, shaking her head at me once again. Tanya was always the person who was the nicest, never wanting to hurt anyone's feelings, so I wouldn't be surprised if she said it just to look nice.
"Yeah," Marcus said, shaking his head just like Tanya did. "because you aren't allowed to hate someone that verbally threatened him."
Louise just took a deep breath and stabbed at her Spaghetti, clutching her fork so tight her knuckles turned white. "How about," she started, cutting off everyone else. "We stop talking about Joe and start talking about something else?"
And with that, Joe was out of our minds.
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Not one thought of Joe crossed my mind until I entered History to see him sitting in the back, face red, nose slightly bruised, and eyes rimmed-red. I must have stared at him for a little too long since our eyes met, but I quickly looked away, striding over to my seat. Charlie McDonalds was sitting next to me, reading a book and quietly laughing to himself every once in a while.
Since I didn't really have many friends in this class, I slumped down in my seat and pulled out my phone playing some random game until class started. Once History had finally started, and my teacher, Mrs. Farry, made us read a chapter out of our History book and gave us a review for that chapter, I started to think about Joe.
Why did he focus on his school work so much? I mean Louise did tell us Zoe said he's independent but doesn't he have any friends?
Glancing over my shoulder, I saw Joe had his head down, shoulders shaking slightly. Was he crying? Laughing? I had no clue. And I honestly shouldn't care, you know, since he threatened to cut my love makers off.
Mrs. Farry just gave us free time to do our homework after all of us finished the chapter and review, and he wasn't doing it. Maybe he did it during class, like some of those homework-holics.
I didn't think much of it, going on my phone and ignoring the thoughts of Joe until the bell rang.
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The rest of my period's I was free. I only had Marcus and Alfie, and I knew they sided with me over the whole Joe thing. They always had my back, being the great friends they were. It was like we were the cool version of the three musketeers, or something. After my last period, I got captured in the whole Joe thing that was going on when Zoe approached me at my locker, a innocent smile on her face.
"Hey, Caspar." She said, leaning in between the two lockers next to mine. Her hair was tied up in a bun, and she had her usual makeup on.
"Hey, Zo." I said, giving her a nervous smile. I really hoped she wouldn't make a big deal out of the whole Science project thing. I didn't know if she was close to Joe at all, but having known Zoe for a while now, she was very protective over people she loved. So with the hope that for some reason hated her brother, I gave a small wave and told myself to just act like my normal, awesome self.
Zoe chuckled and crossed her arms, looking up at me with a small smirk. "Oh, Zo, such a clever nickname for me, isn't it?"
Slightly weirded out, I just nodded simply. "Yeah, I guess?" I really hope she doesn't yell at me.
"Do you know who made up that nickname for me? My brother." Yeah, all hope I had is gone. Nodding, I swallowed, and noticed that my throat was dry, nearly choking myself with my spit. "Speaking of my brother, Joe, have you ever met him before? I heard you just got paired up with him for a Science project."
I closed my locker and turned to her, giving her an awkward smile. "Oh, yeah.."
Zoe's smile dropped, and all of a sudden a dark look crossed her face. "Listen here, Lee. I know that you don't do shit in group projects and don't deny it because I heard you boasting about getting your poor partner to ''help'' with your work, and I am not letting you do this to Joe, got it? He has enough people walking all over him and if you become one of them I will rip your head off of your body, got it?"
I just stared blankly at her, mouth opening and closing as if I were a fish out of water. Or just a dumbass. "Um...okay...he did threaten to cut my privates off, though." He probably didn't tell her that. Probably just acted like he was an innocent brother and did nothing wrong, god, he was annoying.
Zoe glared. "I'll speak to him about that later, but you keep in mind that of you hurt him or make him even more stressed than he usually is, I will walk all over you. Literally."
That's was the last thing she said before spinning around and walking off, practically shoving through a group poor Freshman who jumped away from her, slightly scared. I swallowed again and sighed, thinking about everything she said as I leaned on the lockers next to me.
Fuck, I'm screwed.
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edited: yes