why is that arrow so interesting?? ...sadder (kinda), long chapter uwu
"And stay away!"
Ceyda yelled intimidatingly as the boys- Bahadir's friends- that mocked and taunted Konur scurried away after she threatened them with a dagger she stole from her uncle's marquee. Konur scratched his forehead in slight humiliation of his inability to defend himself.
To get some fresh air away from the training field where there was a lesson currently going on, Konur Alp headed to the rocks under the bridge near the main marquees, oblivious of the other boys that followed him.
Ceyda noticed Bahadir's friends leaving the field soon after Konur and decided to go after them, knowing they were up to mischief.
And indeed, they were. Just as they were about to push Konur into the stream after ridiculing his scar, Ceyda threw the dagger beside their feet, distracting them long enough for Konur to get away.
She looked back at her friend and sighed contentedly. "That was fun."
"Hmm," Konur agreed sarcastically, still bothered by their words. "Why did you follow me?"
Ceyda's jaw almost dropped. "You're supposed to say 'thank you, Ceyda, I would have never survived those idiots without you-'"
"Let me stop you right there, Hatun. I could have handled them myself," Konur defended, enunciating the "Hatun" as Ceyda raised an eyebrow at him, an expression he received too much within the six weeks he'd arrived at the Kayi camp.
"Sure looked like you were handling it well," she muttered, crossing her arms before putting away the dagger.
"You know, if you're here to do nothing but insult me, please leave." He turned his back on her as she watched him sympathetically, mumbling under his breath about how the boys were wrong. He slumped by the stream, throwing a few rocks in the water when Ceyda slumped beside him, earning a side-eye from her friend.
"I would never hurt you, Konur," she said quietly, throwing rocks in the small river as well.
Konur scoffed lightly. "You're mocking me now."
Ceyda paused before she threw another rock and pressed her lips together. "No, I'm...learning from you."
Konur chuckled softly before throwing pebbles in the river with her. "Still a bad liar."
The blue-eyed Alp slowly turned his head to see whom he thought was his best friend. Nearly dry blood trickled down her forehead as a tear seeps out of the eye, her swollen lips twitching into a smirk. There was absolutely no light in her ebony eyes, and Konur only saw his shocked and horrified face in them. "What have they done to you, Ceyda'm?" he whispered.
Kongar glanced at the shocked Alp for a second before taking his opportunity and dropping his sword to the other hand. Right when he was about to puncture the other side of his abdomen, Osman Bey blocked Kongar's sword with his, pushing him away.
"Konur," Osman breathed, staring wide-eyed at the sword that pierced his stomach. His eyes then twitched as he looked at the culprits in front of him. Two people he held very dear and trusted, the look on their faces now unrecognizable. Osman did not know how to respond, so before Konur could get hurt anymore, he pulled Konur toward him, Ceyda's sword coming out oozing with blood, before killing the other Commander that came at him and pointing his sword at Kongar and Ceyda.
Konur stumbled to the side, hitting one of the trees and sliding down, watching the two people he loved most with guilt, shock, and hurt as they fought his Bey.
Osman pulled his punches on both of them, but they were not holding back. After Ceyda threw her fist at Osman, Kongar raised his sword at him. The Bey blocked it a few times before pushing his sword against it, trying to convince him to return to his real self.
Ceyda watched the two, and when she raised her sword at Osman from behind, a man's wheezing held her back. "Etme, Ceyda...don't do it, please."
When she glanced at the man behind the weak voice, Ceyda felt something heavy in her heart like there was a magnet pulling the organ down. She grunted to shake it off and pushed her sword forward, ending up in thin air as Kongar and Osman had broken apart. Osman managed to slice his leg after a punch, making Kongar stumble back. It was Ceyda's turn now.
She slashed Osman's arm while he was still distracted with Kongar, making him turn to his cousin. Before she could do more, Osman grabbed the hilt of her sword with his other hand, his dark hopeful eyes darting between her lifeless ones to find some part of the Ceyda he knew and loved. "Bacim, remember who you are and where you came from. Remember your faith, Ceyda. How could you forget your real family, ha? How could you forget your friends and those that love and care for you? Look, don't you remember Konur?" Ceyda's glare softened just a little bit as she slowly glanced at the Alp he was talking about. Osman's eyes started filling with tears as he continued, "How-how could you hurt him? How-"
Ceyda squeezed her eyes shut from a throbbing pain in her head that forced her to reject the Bey's words. The next time she opened her eyes, his words had flushed out of her mind. "May the Dark Souls take Osman's soul to Erlik Han," she mumbled in Mongolian, the overly heard phrase rolling off her tongue easily, cackling lowly as she looked up at Osman. He sighed and shut his eyes before twisting Ceyda's hand until she would drop her sword, then stopping her next punch with a slash to the arm. She gasped in pain and stumbled back as Osman turned back to Kongar, pushing him back as he tried to attack.
Once Osman pushed Kongar to the ground, Ceyda tried to step in when Balgay held out his arm to stop her. She side-eyed Balgay who pulled out his sword when Osman knocked out Kongar after he had tried to stab him.
Balgay watched Osman challengingly. "It's time to get even Osman," he declared, gesturing for Ceyda to move away. "Soldiers, don't step in. I will kill Osman with joy."
Ceyda watched half-heartedly as Balgay sent a few punches, and received a few. They continued like this for what seemed like hours until Osman had his sword an inch from Balgay's throat. Balgay blocked Osman's sword with his own, keeping it from puncturing his neck. When Balgay pushed away Osman's sword, they fought again.
Ceyda's ears perked up when someone shouted from behind, "I'm here, Osman Beyim!"
She turned sharply to see a somewhat aged man with grey hair striped with black, contrasting his fully grey, curly beard. He ran at the Mongols with his two swords followed by about a dozen other Alps.
Ceyda stayed by the tree closest to her, clutching her bleeding arm and watching as Osman started fighting off other Mongol soldiers. Her eyes flickered from person to person until she saw Balgay who was running away. Running away? she thought. Without Kongar...or me? Her brow furrowed as she saw Cerkutay riding up with a spare horse. She slammed her fist against the tree, then ran toward them.
Balgay halted his horse when he saw Ceyda just as they were about to ride off. He sighed sharply before grabbing her arm, roughly pulling her up to help her get on.
Boran stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the back of whom he could have sworn was Ceyda riding away with Balgay and Cerkutay. "Bey, Balgay is running away," he informed quickly and Bamsi Bey squinted his eyes to see what Boran had seen as well. "He has my daughter-"
Osman stopped Bamsi Bey before he could go after them. "That dog brainwashed Goktug and Ceyda...she-she stabbed Konur...and Goktug almost did too." Bamsi Bey and the Alps stared with horror at the unconscious brothers, processing this new information. "Please, look after Konur. I'm going to bring Ceyda back," Osman promised before running after the Mongols with his bow and arrows.
Ceyda felt like she was going to fall off Balgay's horse. Not only was it travelling at full speed to get away from Osman who started running after them, but she barely had anything to hold on to except for the saddle.
She heard the whizzing of an arrow and looked around to see it land in Cerkutay's back. Somewhat relieved there were no more flying arrows, she stared ahead until they reached Balgay's camp.
---
After Kongar awoke and tried to stab one of the Turks while they were trying to wake up Konur, Bamsi Bey stopped him and beat him in anger for what he had done, stopping only after Konur's weak cries and Osman Bey's intervening.
Konur shut his eyes as he remembered Ceyda's face. The laughs that were not her own. The eyes that were void of any light. He could see every feature of hers as clear as day, sending him surges of regret and pain, and not just the physical kind.
Boran, who did not leave Konur's side, stared at the sticky and bright red blood staining Konur's clothes and armour. Osman Bey's words of Ceyda stabbing Konur continued running through his mind. Last time, she returned to herself quite quickly and did not hurt anyone as much despite her light mental illness, but now Boran was scared. He was scared she would not return considering the pain she received in the tribe, and he was scared that if she did, she would never heal or move on from her actions. He did not want to see Konur like this-in pain again- but forced himself to have hope of his swift recovery.
Osman Bey and Bamsi Bey tied up Kongar then sat around Konur to cauterize his wound, listening as he spoke. "Beyim, this is my wish for you," he started. "Don't leave Goktug with Balgay."
Osman Bey glanced at Kongar then nodded at Konur. "I promise I will not stop until Goktug is my Alp," he confirmed, and Konur sighed in relief with a nod.
Bamsi Bey grimaced at Konur's condition then looked at Osman Bey. "Osmanim, we need to get Ceyda back from the hands of that dog," he reminded, his patience running out as he thought of all the horrible things Ceyda must be going through.
"We will," Osman stated. "We will bring her back."
---
Ceyda and Cerkutay sat in front of a fire burning between them while Balgay sat on his small goatskin couch under his open tent.
Cerkutay patched up the arrow wound in his back, staring with amusement at the bloody arrow he held while Ceyda roughly cauterized and dressed the wound on her arm.
She stared into the fire, some part of her mind hating how Balgay left Kongar behind with the Turks and ran away like a coward.
Cerkutay glanced at Ceyda, his amusement turning into confusion when she did not move or blink. He waved his hand in front of her, but she paid no attention to it. When he slowly dragged the sword that lay beside her toward him, however, she pulled it back, still not looking up.
"I liked the old Ceyda better," he commented, glancing at Ceyda's statue expression with annoyance now and then.
Balgay stared at him. "The old one where she hated us all?"
"No... when we brainwashed her last time. She would at least talk then."
"This is good. If she shows no feelings, then she will stick with what we tell her."
Cerkutay made a low noise, agreeing half-heartedly before returning his attention to the bloodied arrow.
"Osman," Balgay growled, stabbing the table in front of him with his dagger. "You took my son from me."
At this, Ceyda eyed him from the corner of her eye, silently disagreeing with this perspective. She would have spoken and told Balgay what a coward he was, but it was as if her tongue was chained when she tried.
She ignored everything else Balagay said instead until he stood and started walking toward them. Cerkutay stood up too and asked, "Where are you going, Balgay?" Ceyda stared at them from where she was sitting, not feeling like getting up.
"To take my power from Osman's heart," Balgay responded dryly before walking to the horses. Cerkutay picked up his armour and nudged Ceyda to get her to stand. She sighed heavily through her nose and trudged after Balgay.
---
Kongar had cluelessly given Osman Bey and his Alps information on the Mongols' next move as he spoke about their terror on the tribe. After they understood Sofia and the Mongols were going to attack the tribe, the Beys and Alps immediately set out, leaving Konur and Kongar with Dumrul and Boran Alp- who pleaded to stay with his brother a little more before he joined them in battle.
"Boran," breathed Konur when Dumrul had gone to scout the area for their protection.
"Soyle, kardesim," Boran said kindly, smoothing a damp cloth on Konur's forehead to lessen his fever.
"Something tells me...I deserve this," he started weakly, earning a stern look from his friend. "Don't tire yourself out," Boran advised instead, but Konur continued. "I pushed her to leave...I said all those painful things, I hurt her...and now, it was her turn-"
"Allah, Konur, do you hear yourself? Enough already. Just be grateful Ceyda isn't here, or she would make halva out of you."
When Konur did not smile at how accurate his comment was, Boran stopped talking, then sighed. "Don't think like this, Konurim. This wasn't the Ceyda we know and love; this-this was Balgay. We will kill this new Ceyda with guilt and sorrow, and then she will apologize to you and you will to her, then you will immediately feel better, and live a happily ever after, okay?"
Konur chuckled feebly, "You make it sound so easy."
Boran snorted softly. "That's because it is. You idiots just made everything more complicated. There was a point I didn't even want to fall in love from dealing with this madness."
Konur shook his head lightly. "We troubled you a lot, kardesim..."
Boran nodded along playfully. "So much," he exaggerated, but Konur was not playing along anymore. "I'm sorry," he whispered, and Boran glanced at Konur with his brow furrowed. "Can you forgive-"
"Ya Konur, why do you have to be so dramatic? You're acting like you're about to-" Boran realized what he was about to say and stopped. But Konur finished his sentence for him. "Die?" he asked with a chuckle, even though it was not funny. "That will happen one day too-"
"One day in the far, far future, InshaAllah," said Boran sternly, fear eating at him with Konur's every word. "I stayed back instead of fighting for you, Konur, and now you just made me regret it," he muttered, and Konur cracked a smile. "Dumrul Alp will be back any second, and I need to get going. Good luck with your brother, and I promise you will see your Ceyda very soon." Boran patted Konur's shoulder and squeezed him briefly from the side, letting go after a few seconds because he knew that if it was longer, he wouldn't be able to.
Before he left, he held up his pointer finger at Konur. "Don't die," he said shortly- though there was a lot of emotion behind just these two words.
"No promises," said Konur quietly, the ghost of a smile on his face.
---
"Lanet olsun," Balgay cursed as he, Cerkutay, and Ceyda hid behind the bushes of the forest near the Kayi Tribe, watching as Princess Sofia and the Mongol Commander Subutay failed to raid the tribe- somehow, the Kayis had already been prepared.
"I will get my son Kongar from you sooner or later, Osman," Balgay swore, and Ceyda stared at him expressionlessly. Balgay split the twig from the bush he hid behind, then gestured for them to leave.
As they were riding their horses away from the tribe, another pair of hooves made them pause. It was Sofia and her men. "They destroyed us," she informed in malice when she caught up. "They destroyed us all."
"It's not the time, woman," Balgay snapped. "Alps could catch us any second." He made for another gallop, the Byzantines, Cerkutay, and Ceyda right behind him.
Once they reached the fortress of Kuluchaisar, Sofia and Balgay didn't waste a second to plan and discuss their next moves. Cerkutay ogled at the great, luxurious look of the castle with its secure stone walls, and servants, maids, and guards that were ready to serve their superiors. Ceyda only stared ahead as she and Cerkutay walked behind Sofia and Balgay.
Princess Sofia had given her a few suspicious and hard glares, remembering her last few encounters and what Balgay had said about her "betrayal." Needless to say, she didn't trust her but let Balgay's blindness and stupidity play this game.
"I wouldn't mind spending my leisure here..." Cerkutay remarked, glancing at all the stalls of beans, fruits, meat, and other food. He then stared at Ceyda when she did not continue the conversation, staring ahead soundlessly instead.
"Do you not speak?" Cerkutay asked her in what sounded like a mumble when it was too silent.
Ceyda blinked, making him laugh, instantly reminding her of a braying donkey once she side-eyed him. "At least you do that," he remarked.
"Are you thinking of Kongar of all things?" Sofia disputed suddenly, catching Ceyda's attention. "Kongar..." she whispered under her breath. The name sounded more than just a word. It brought up a memory. A far, faint memory. Something about coming face to face with a pair of vibrant ocean eyes. Something about a hat with a veil attached to it. Something about swords. Something about-
The loud marching of about a dozen people demolished the memory, and Ceyda stared at the tall, black-suited and armoured, masked men who made their way over, a dark-haired and olive-skinned female in Byzantine soldier uniform leading them, a smirk plastered across her face, accentuating her high cheekbones. She nodded at Sofia then walked over to her side.
"Who are they?" Balgay asked blandly. "My executors," Sofia replied with a hint of pride. "They will kill Osman." Balgay looked impressed and Sofia scornful as Cerkutay sized them up, and Ceyda narrowed her eyes at them, noticing their bloodshot eyes.
Balgay stepped closer to them, squinting his eyes as he looked into their sightlessly staring ones, noticing the red in them as well. He was about a head shorter than them all. Cerkutay and Ceyda took a step closer too to defend their leader and take a closer look at these said executors.
As Cerkutay watched them with his confusion growing by the second, Balgay scoffed, then glanced at Sofia. "You're living a dream. Osman killed my soldiers and your chivalries. Are they going to take our revenge?" he mocked, and Cerkutay laughed along.
In less than a second, two soldiers swiftly moved around Balgay, one stealing his dagger and the other his sword, before holding them to Balgay's neck.
Ceyda's reflexes took over, and as she started to intervene, another soldier pulled out her swords, earning a harsh glare. Cerkutay then made his move and pushed down the hand holding a dagger to Balgay's throat, taking out his own and stabbing his chest.
Cerkutay laughed psychotically at how easy it was as he pressed the dagger into the soldier's chest who stared at the Mongol then started laughing too, making Cerkutay quiet down.
Balgay stared at the scene warily while Ceyda pushed down the swords on her neck, grabbing them from the unusual soldiers before stuffing them back in her sheaths. Cerkutay slowly let go of the dagger, and the soldier pulled it out of his chest. He lowered his mask revealing a faint mustache and a manic grin before he let his tongue slide across the bloodied blade.
Ceyda grimaced in disgust when a similar sight ran through her mind. One of someone else doing the exact thing when he murdered someone else. Someone Ceyda knew. Her head suddenly felt like it was being shaken with a mountain pile of knives. As she clenched her fist to somehow stop the pain in another organ, the soldiers returned to their previous positions.
"It's magical," Cerkutay concluded lowly, leaning into Balgay as if to inform him. Balgay sheathed his weapons as he conversed, "There are demons in them, Cerkutay. They sold their souls to the Devil."
"Not to the Devil," Sofia stepped in, glancing at Balgay. "To my father. The secret that removes their fear of death is hidden in the elixir they drank."
"What happens if they aren't scared?" Balgay questioned, not removing eye contact with the soldier that threatened his life. "Won't they die?"
Sofia scoffed lightly. "Of course, they will die." She turned to her soldiers and yelled, "But they won't feel pain!" and they all knelt sharply in front of her.
"Kara Şövalyeler keep fighting unless they get a fatal wound," the female soldier beside Sofia explained.
Balgay seemed intrigued yet apprehensive. "What kind of elixir is this? Why didn't you tell me about it?"
"My father completed it in his last days. He didn't have enough time to tell me how he prepared it."
Ceyda zoned out as they continued talking about the elixir. She watched the soldiers with just a tiny bit of pity. You are forced to live. Forced to fight with no death. No pain. How is life like without pain...what is life without pain, some minuscule part of her thought; she shook her head to clear out her mind.
Apparently, they had used the last drops of the elixir on the soldiers, and the effect would wither soon. "So, we don't have much time to kill Osman," Sofia warned Balgay.
"What will happen once the effect wears off?"
"It won't. It will change. It will turn into a poison...and kill them," she said unbothered.
Cerkutay furrowed then raised his brow in surprise as Balgay smirked, forcing Cerkutay to chuckle along.
"So, that's it then...you just kill them off."
She had finally spoken, but in the quietest of all voices, as if finding her speech. Cerkutay had heard only a little of what she said and glanced at her suspiciously. Once he saw her straight face, he figured it was just the wind and brushed it off.
"So, Osman will fight the dead ones. Balgay liked this," he finished, and Sofia smirked as Cerkutay grinned.
"Knights!" she called and the soldiers rose swiftly, making Cerkutay jump, flitting the ghost of a smile across Ceyda's solemn features.
---
Goktug sat by his elder brother who lay wounded on the stretcher-bed in the open Healing Tent. After regaining his senses and coming back to himself upon hearing their mother's lullaby, Goktug fell into deep distress when seeing his brother's condition. He rushed him to the tribe just recently so he could be taken care of and his wound looked after properly.
Goktug wholly believed he was entirely to blame for Konur's wound even if he did not physically stab him himself. He remembered how Ceyda came to him in the woods, pleading for his forgiveness. And all he did was capture her and stand aside as he let Balgay take her away once more. And once she was gone, she only did what she was told, reacting robotically to the situation she was faced with.
He caressed Konur's hand, his deep cyan eyes filling with tears. "Even if you forgive me, even if Ceyda does, I won't be able to forgive myself." Konur tilted his head to his younger brother, slightly shaking it. "How can I live with this pain if something happens to you, Abi?"
"Gokutg, don't say that," Konur hushed, his lips pale and eyes dimmed of their usual euphoria.
"Goktug," he continued weakly. "I have no gold, no houses, and no properties. I am giving you my loyalty for Osman Bey...and my love for Ceyda." He swallowed at the last part, his heart yearning for her to return. He knew now that he had been too harsh and jealous and wanted more than anything to take it back, be greeted with her comforting dark eyes, apologize, and confess his love for her. Because it was true. He was not afraid of death, but he was afraid of one thing: dying without her blessing. At least after his death, he thought, she would be in good hands.
Goktug felt a sting of pain as he thought of how Ceyda would react to this once she returned, then felt another scorching pain as the gravity of Konur's words sunk in. "Abi, don't say that, please."
"Be a brave Alp of Osman Bey," Konur continued, and Goktug glanced at the ground sadly as he finished, "Be a good friend to Ceyda...and don't let her or yourself take the blame of whatever happens to me."
Goktug nodded at him solemnly. "We will take our revenge with Osman Bey, Abi. We'll go and bring that dog's head to you. And then, we will all reunite."
Konur smiled slightly when Osman Bey walked over, Bamsi Bey behind him. He grinned at his Bey with a hint of longing once he noticed the armour and swords on him, "So, you are going to battle, ha?" Osman Bey watched his friend sadly. "Konurim." "That too without me," Konur finished, his wide smile filled with yearning.
"You will recover," Osman Bey claimed. "We will go and conquer the world with you." He leaned in, and his tone charged with fury and sadness. "Don't worry, I will take your revenge. I will rip their hearts off."
Goktug glanced at the passionate Bey gratefully as Konur's eyes flickered toward the ceiling. "You..." Osman continued, his tone softer now and his dark eyes filling with tears. "You take care of yourself, kardesim. Don't...don't leave me on this Earth without Konur. Don't leave any of us."
Konur cracked a soft smile as Bamsi Bey jumped in. "Konur," he called enthusiastically. "We talked about conquests and battles and your face quickly regained its colour, Aslanim." Osman Bey smiled and agreed as Goktug nodded and sniffed. "He's my Konur. He will resist. He will resist, EvelAllah."
"Bamsi Beyim...thank you. May you live long," he grinned. Osman Bey then turned to the tall Alp beside him. "Goktug," he said, and Goktug faced him, determination painting his face. "It's time. Your duty is awaiting you."
"I will do my best, Osman Bey," he confirmed, placing his hand to his heart before turning back to his brother and respectfully kissing and pressing his forehead to the back of his hand, letting it rest there as he sobbed softly. "Hakkını helal etsin, Abi."
Konur smiled at him, breathing, "I give it all, kardesim. It is all helal to you." Goktug pressed a final kiss to his forehead before making his way out of the tent, prepared for revenge and making it his duty to bring back Ceyda and reunite the lovers.
Osman Bey softly smoothened Konur's tousled hair. "Kardes...my rights are helal to you. Are yours helal to me?"
Konur cracked a toothy grin. "Of course, Beyim." Osman blinked back tears and murmured, "May Allah bless us all," as Konur's eyelids started drooping from tiredness. He gave a final smile and nod to his Bey who returned it as Bamsi Bey patted his leg softly.
"Bamsi Beyrek," Konur smiled, and Bamsi squeezed his eyes cheerfully as Konur continued thanking him until he fell unconscious.
---
Sofia and Balgay continued discussing their next moves with the new knights, Cerkutay only half listening, and Ceyda watching the gates of the fortress.
Cerkutay glanced at Ceyda, then what she was looking at. His eyes flickered between her and the gates for what seemed like hours until Ceyda lost her patience and snapped her head toward him.
"What are you thinking about?" he murmured stupidly, and Ceyda narrowed her eyes at him. How I'm going to claw your eyes out and feed it to the dogs, she thought maliciously. Cerkutay, looking as though he heard her thoughts quickly found a tiny ant on the ground interesting. When Ceyda continued staring at him, then followed his gaze, he stomped the poor insect and laughed.
"Animal," she cursed at him under her breath- though it came out as more of a mutter- when the doors of the fortress suddenly opened and a man nearly falling off his white horse rode in, quickly recognized by Balgay, Sofia, Cerkutay, and Ceyda.
When he fell off his horse, Balgay ran toward him, calling out his name, "Kongar!" Cerkutay ran behind him, almost collapsing beside his comrade. Ceyda slowly walked over to them, earning another look from Sofia before she too joined the small crowd.
"My son," Balgay cried out, questioning Kongar's condition and old wounds. Ceyda thought the duo was being too dramatic but froze with Kongar's next words. "I killed that dog Konur," he said weakly, and suddenly Ceyda felt a pang in her head.
Konur.
Merely the name sparked something so strong and sharp that she felt like she was resting her head on a pillow of nails. It felt like something in the back of her brain was trying to push itself to the front. She didn't understand it. She winced in pain as Kongar gave more information. "Osman...will take Cengiz Han's laws to Geyhatu. There will be an Alp with him. Just two of them."
Balgay and the others thought about this, then he promised, "You will heal, Kongar." He jerked his head to Sofia and reprimanded, "Why are you standing there, woman?! Don't you have a healer?!"
Sofia ordered her soldiers to bring a doctor, and Balgay patted Kongar's cheek as he fell unconscious. "Don't worry Kongar, you will heal." Once the soldiers returned with a wooden stretcher, they lifted Kongar onto it and rushed to a room inside the fortress.
Balgay noticed Ceyda watching after him and told her to keep an eye on the doctor, earning a dismissive eye roll from Sofia. She nodded and followed- more so led as she quickly caught up with the soldiers and walked in front of them- through the maze of alleyways to the fortress where they passed limited trader stalls and random barrels surrounded with bags of flour and spare wheels until reaching a quiet, arched passageway.
Ceyda turned sharply when she heard one of the soldiers groan and saw Kongar jumping off the stretcher and stabbing a soldier before blocking and killing the other, slicing through the remaining two soldiers. He banged the head of the last one against the wall before cutting his throat open.
Ceyda blinked rapidly at the scene in front of her, all four soldiers now dead within what couldn't have been more than half a minute. Her eyes focused on Kongar's determined, anguished ones, and he panted before they softened on her.
"Weren't you wounded?" she tried calling out, but the words just would not form, and she ended up staring between him and the dropped stretcher.
"Ceyda," he breathed with slight caution, stepping closer to her, starting to put his hands on her shoulders when she moved back, her eyes flickering between his in confusion and wariness. "Remember who you are," he whispered, unable to push the air through his vocal cords and speak as memories of what he had done to her returned.
Ceyda's stare hardened and she creased her brow at him, but he continued, his expression remorseful yet determined, saddened yet hopeful. "You are an amazing warrior that carries two swords and is skilled in archery, that can fight ten people in under a minute, that fights not for Balgay, not for Geyhatu, not for Gok Tengri and the Mongols, but Allah, for Osman Bey and his cause, for the oppressed, for the Kayi Tribe, for your friends and family, for those you love. You are generous, funny, kind, and helpful... annoying, sarcastic, and mocking at times, and you often cross your limits and become stubborn and a handful...but those are all my-...everyone's favourite parts about you. They make you who you are, the truly wonderful, downright beautiful inside and out, fierce human you are. You were my Deli Kiz, and I..." he chuckled weakly at the nickname she had for him, the one he hated but grew to love. "I was your- a softie...You were the light in my dark world, Ceyda. You were the saviour in the gallows, and the hope in my life...and to so many others."
Ceyda's eyes twitched slightly as they pricked, and her hard gaze softened slightly when he finished. "Remember your friends, Ceyda, remember your family, remember those that wait for your return, that ache for your embrace, that long for your sweet words that serve as a remedy. Remember Konur?" he asked, his voice cracking at the image of his elder brother laying on what could be his deathbed, smiling and laughing along even in these dark times. Ceyda almost whimpered at the name. "He waits for you, Ceyda, he longs for your return, to reunite after everything. You have to return to yourself, Ceyda. You have to remember who you are. For him. For me. For all of us."
Ceyda swallowed as her gaze shifted slowly from the pleading, teary-eyed man who claimed to know her so well to the hard, stone wall. Her mouth parted, her breathing slow, her eyes slightly widened, and her throat tight, she winced at a stabbing in her head when a faint memory danced in her mind, just out of reach.
Even now, when his brother was in the worst condition, when Ceyda was in the worst condition, when his mission waited for him, when all these troubles were upon them, he still wanted her. He knew that what he had for Ceyda was more than love. What he felt with her, what she allowed him to feel, was something he had never experienced with anyone before.
And how did he repay her? He handed her to their greatest, most vile enemy and allowed her to lose her way. Because of his trap, she stabbed his brother, her childhood friend, and he knew she could never forgive him for it. Or even if she did on the rare occasion, he was certain he would never forgive himself. Now standing in front of the broken woman who was once closer to him than a friend, knowing that he was the one who broke her, he squeezed his eyes shut to stop his tears from falling. "I know it is not my right to want you, to love you, especially after everything that happened, but I want you to know that I will always be here for you, support you...and am ready to let you go if you wish..." he murmured, lowering his gaze- he didn't dare look into those breathtaking eyes, those heart-stopping eyes he drove so many tears out of.
Please," the man in front of her cried, "please, come back. Come back, and bring me back to life. Bring him back to life. Bring us all back to life."
Ceyda trembled slightly as the memory neared. She heard herself groan and hiss in pain as a sting in her back struck her, and then again, and again, and again. She heard herself yell to block out words she thought would never resurface. Words she didn't understand until they were repeated so much that they entrenched themselves in her mind so that the next time she heard them or said them, it was as if she was simply reading them off an old book. She saw herself shake the chains that held up her hands and held down her feet. She saw herself jerk her head away from the blue poison that once messed up her mind. Spit at the man who messed up her mind, only to be beaten by him again. She saw herself cough up blood and gag at the stench of the Mongol's nest as they walked around her with tortured faces, their half-chopped necks drizzling a thick dark red liquid on the spears they were forced on. Her trembling hand travelled to her neck as she remembered them, those tortured innocent souls no one heard about, no one knew of, no one came to save. She remembered feeling hopeless, desperate, and useless because she cared for them. Because she cared...for all of them.
But with the man's next words, "I'm sorry," she saw herself appearing small before him with wide, confused, and scared eyes, hearing the same words in something lower than a whisper. Her hands rested on her neck, softly spiralling around where there was once a dart, and then she saw herself thrusting her sword into someone's flesh.
Ceyda inhaled shakily, unable to carve those images of blood, death, and destruction out of her mind. She heard now someone sobbing quietly nearby. Her eyes travelled from the wall to the tall man in front of her, armoured in Mongol clothes. Right as she was about to run, she heard him whisper, "I need you, Ceyda." Her breathing slowed slightly and she warily reached her hand out for his arm.
As if the touch was electricity, Goktug jerked his head toward her, dry tears shading his cheeks. He sniffed back his tears and breathed, "Ceyda?"
Still shaken by the weight of the nauseating, vile memories, she squeezed his arm slightly in reassurance. She didn't know why he was so surprised but didn't want to see him cry. "Goktug," she whispered, her voice hoarse, sending him a watery smile.
Goktug was speechless now, his ocean eyes glossy; what could he tell her now, that her closest friend was waiting for her in the Healing Tent? That she was brainwashed, and he was going to take their revenge? Instead, all he could let out was,
"Go. Go to him. Before it's too late."
---
Please don't be too late t-t
*sighs* i don't even know what to do with Goktug anymore guys...but i guess one death = another's survival ;)
The next chapter is most likely going to be the last one and then I'll do an Epilogue *cries internally yet screams in joy for finally getting to the end*
Snow days are officially rUInED...they started doing asynchronous and online school (i mean at least yesterday it was off for us but still). HA our teacher posted a link even though it was supposed to be asynchronous and then he's like 'so we're gonna do two lessons today' and then this guy started being so blunt and practically harassed him into stopping the lesson cuz we're not supposed to have one like bruh asynchronous doesn't mean no school. The whole thing was iconic and my teacher started ignoring the kids that told him to stop the lesson and let us all leave (i felt bad so i said thank you with a smiley face when he ended the lesson...i did my duty guys...pfft dut-nope)
i'm working on the final chapter and will try to finish this book before I continue others so please bear with me and thank you to everyone who has been with me through every chapter (lmao half of y'all just disappeared-) and i hope you're enjoying (maybe cursing n crying) this story so far *bows and falls*
>>blame goktug in the trailer for the gory writing>>