WARNING!
this chapter contains smoking, and mentions of suicide, please read at your own risk!
—
"COME ON Y/N! ANOTHER PARTY WON'T HURT." sasha yelled at you from the doorway of your guys' dorm room.
"i just don't feel like partying tonight, maybe another time." you muttered and shoved more chips into your mouth. "you go enjoy yourself with niccolo though."
"awww, you party pooper!" she groaned. "fine, but the next party you're coming with, no matter what." she lectured and left. earlier, a close friend of yours once again called you a slut and to kill yourself, so you really weren't in the mood to go out and party. what you needed, was something else. something to take your mind off of everything for a little. you walked over to your dresser, pulling out an oversized black hoodie and kept on the grey sweatpants you had on.
you then walked over to the box under your bed, hiding pre-rolled joints and pulled out one. you grabbed the lighter off your nightstand and made your way outside of the dorm and walked to your familiar spot that you would go just to smoke. it was about a mile from the campus at some skate park. it was already 10-11 at night so it was pretty quiet and luckily it wasn't near a busy road.
there was a few people there at the park, only one person was skating though. you brought the joint to your lips and lit it, inhaling the familiar smoke. feeling that well-known euphoria that your body was so so used to. you admired the boy skating, and watched as his black hair flew as he kicked up his board and jumped on the parks rails. you smoked more of your joint and eventually the high was overcoming your mind and body. you flung your head back and looked at the moon above.
you couldn't really see many stars cause the city lights were illuminating, but from the very few that were visible; they made you smile just a little. you were called a 'slut' and 'whore' so much that the names didn't effect you anymore— but the death threats were a different story. usually your mental state affects you from getting an actual relationship so now, you usually just stick with sex and school. you couldn't give a fuck of what people thought of you, as long as you have good grades and money you were fine.
you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket and took it out to see sasha had texted you.
sash <3
some guy here wants to see you
sash <3
said last time he saw you, youd meet up again and have sex
sash <3
y/n-poo i need to really find you an actual boyfriend 😔🤚
you
lmao im fine sash
you
thx though 😘
sash <3
but youre gonna get an std soon enough! dont wanna see my little y/n go though that ;(
sash <3
honestly though, im surprised you havent got one already
you
if you say so tbh i dont need one tho
sash <3
sasha the wise says otherwise!!! n e ways im gonna drink more, love ya! ❤️❤️
you smiled down at your phone screen, turning it off and watching it turn black. then slipping it back in your pocket. you stood from the brick wall you were sitting on, and grabbed out your airpods, popping them into your ears and blasting the sweet melody of my favorite songs. you began to walk over to the gas station a little bit past the dorm building to grab some more candy. very few cars passing by, and some street lights flickered on and off. you eventually made in into the small store, grabbing some of your favorite sweets and taking it to the counter.
"i can smell the weed on you." the man at the counter smirked and leaned in. "say, if you any more weed on 'ya, i'll give you your snacks for free."
"i'll pass, my weed is worth more than some sugar." you pulled out a 10 dollar bill and slammed it on the counter, grabbing your sweets and left. weird creeps like that or even other college students roamed this sketchy area commonly. and even though around here is all creepy and old, the actual university is one of the nicest in the state. you walked into the building and watched other people dressed up walking out. you sighed and opened your dorm room door and turned on the light.
you were still high of course so everything felt dreamy and nice. you opened your snacks and laid on your bed blasting music, soon enough you fell asleep.
—
"y/n wake upppppp!" the painfully familiar voice rung through your ears. your eyes fluttered open to see no other than sasha shaking you vigorously. "finally, i have the worst hangover so the blinds stay shut." she groaned and sat on her bed again.
"how was the party?" you asked quietly, trying to be aware of her situation of a hangover.
"it was actually one of the best, you missed out!" she exclaimed but immediately regret it by putting a hand to her head. you shook your head and smiled. standing up and walking to the multiple pill bottles, you grabbed her some advil and a glass of water.
"here, drink this and try to get some sleep. i know you just got back." you scolded and she laughed sheepishly, downing the glass of water. you turned on my heel to refill her glass.
"oh y/n!" she called out, you hummed acknowledging her call. "i got a few numbers of some single guys looking for a girlfriend, and also some numbers of guys who aren't, but need one." she giggled.
"thanks sash, you didn't have to." you replied and filled up her cup again, bringing it over and setting it on her nightstand for when she was thirsty. "but again, i don't need a boyfriend. i have all the stupid boys to fuck instead."
"yeah sure you do, but you're in college and maybe a nice relationship would do you some good." she held your arm and pulled you in for a hug. "fuck my head, anyways i love you and i think you need someone other than me to love you as well. and of course you have jean and connie but they're different."
i smiled in her arms, wrapping my arms around her torso. "what do you want from mc donalds?" you sighed.
"works every time!" she whisper yelled. you pulled back and sasha gave you her never-ending list of food she wanted from the fast food restaurant. "aaannndd, another side of fries."
"unless you're giving me 200 bucks to go and buy this list, i'm getting you a cheeseburger or two and some fries." you sighed.
"fine, fair enough." her voice went more sad.
"get some rest, i'll be back." you waved to her, slipping into your shoes and you still had on the same outfit you wore last night. sadly, you were entirely sober again so you didn't have the nice floaty feeling anymore. it was a sunday and neither sasha or you had lectures today. this would probably be the only time you would go out all day. you planned to finish some assignments and homework just so you wouldn't get behind.
you walked into the mc donalds, and got sasha a few items of her huge list of food and then walked immediately back after getting the order. you had a soft spot for sasha as she was the only person to treat you as well. you guys met back in junior year when she asked you if you could give your uneaten lunch to her. everyday after that you would repeatedly give her your lunch and eventually, you became close.
"hey beautiful, you weren't at the party last night. how come?" a male voice called behind you. you turned to see some blonde, someone you probably hooked up with one night— of course you couldn't recall who exactly. "i wanted to maybe go for a round 2?" he laughed.
"i'll pass thanks." was all you mustered to say and walked away. you heard him mutter rude profanities under his breath and simply walk away. at least he didn't forcefully grab you like some other guys had, but it was whatever.
—
"i'm back, oh hey connie and jean." you muttered seeing the baldie and mullet haired boys. they both greeted you and you dropped the bag of food on sasha's bed which all 3 of them were sitting on.
"did you get some rest last night?" connie asked. you nodded. "good! cause you're going to need a lot of energy for the next party!" he exclaimed and both jean and sasha hit him and rubbed their heads. he apologized and looked to you. "historia's sorority is throwing a huge party, apparently one of the best this year."
"isn't it just like last year then?" you asked. he nodded.
"supposed to be bigger. i know that sounds hard to believe but even nearby colleges and some high school students are invited." connie replied. that was impressive and you weren't too sure where they would host a party that big but it would definitely be nice to get drunk and or high there, maybe another one night stand to get your mind off things.
"sure, it sounds fun. i can't wait." you smiled to them and sat on your bed, pulling out your laptop to begin doing some school work. "did any of your other friends go to the party last night?" you questioned them. they all nodded but connie and sasha argued over some friends so jean replied instead.
"we had to practically drag out armin, he wanted to stay in again." he sighed. "you really should meet them, mikasa eren and armin are really cool people. i think you'd really dislike eren though." he laughed.
"i don't know, i don't really like getting close to people." you replied to him and met his light brown eyes. "it's a miracle i managed to trust you guys the way i do. not sure what i'd do without you idiots." you giggled and so did jean.
"i remember when we first met at school you wouldn't stop glaring, i was intimidated." he chuckled. you smiled and shook your head lightly, firing up a few tabs for some different classes. "i couldn't believe it when sasha said you were really nice, i thought you were a bitch. and while that's partially true, you're sweet when you want to be." he winked. you frowned at his accurate statement. "still surprised how people like you enough to fuck you." he joked. you smirked and decided to play back at his game.
"jean, you're still single right?" you asked him. he tensed up but smirked.
"heh, no. i'm actually talking with someone." he triumphed. leaving you quite impressed. "her name is... emily."
"jean?"
"y/n."
"jean."
"fine! i am still single." he frowned. "damn, do you have advil around here?" he asked and put a hand to his head. i pointed to the counter and looked to sasha and connie passed out already. "you really should find an actual boyfriend soon though y/n. maybe save your sexual needs for one man instead of many."
"man, you too? sasha said something similar, you guys really think i need a boyfriend that bad?"
"or girlfriend, you do you. but overall just a significant other." he shrugged and came over to you. "now, you finish your homework and find a good loyal boyfriend, not some lady fucker like some dudes." he pinched your cheek. "if you never find one i'm always here for you." he winked.
"haha, funny joke." you deadpanned.
first chapter kinda like a background knowledge chapter lol