*Leighton's POV*
"You want to do what?" She asked and I just cried harder, the emotional defeat making me feel physically fatigued.
"I can't do it" I cried and dropped my phone on the comforter, covering my face with my hands as my heart raced.
"You can do it Leigh! Stop lying to yourself! You're thinking irrationally" She shouted through the phone and I just cried harder "This is the most rational thinking I've done since last year Aaliyah! I can't do it. I can't have my baby suffer!" I covered my face in my hands, my nose starting to drip making me gag.
I quickly got out of bed, rushing to the bathroom and throwing up in the toilet before grabbing a Kleenex and wiping my nose and throwing it away.
"Your baby won't suffer Leigh!" she yelled, sounding muffled. "Leighton, are you okay?!" Aaliyah called out and I sighed, flushing the toilet and washing my hands. I brushed my teeth and sat back down on the bathroom floor, my stomach feeling queasy.
I sat there for a moment before getting up and going back to my phone, only to be surprised as I saw tears fall down Aaliyah's face.
"Why are you crying?"
"I hate seeing you hurt Leighton" She sighed, wiping at her cheeks.
"I'm okay" I reassured and she shook her head. "You're trying your best and it still isn't good enough! I don't want you to give up your baby Leighton. You've wanted this baby since the moment you found out about it, you can't just give it to someone else!" She cried and watching her cry made me cry.
"I can't afford this baby. It would be selfish to put a baby through this, if I can give them to someone better" I tried to explain, but she just shook her head "Leighton there is no one better than their own mother"
"I'm useless if I can't feed them, put clothes on their back and give them a good home" I whispered, and I clutched my boobs making Aaliyah look at me weirdly. "They fucking hurt" I grumbled and she just started laughing which made me crack a smile and start to giggle.
"I'm sorry you're going through this Leighton" Aaliyah said softly, frowning.
"They say children are the best birth control. I say pregnancy is the best birth control. I never want to do this ever again, and the hard part hasn't even started" I muttered, my boobs still hurting.
"Why do your boobs hurt?" She asked and I sighed dramatically, letting go of my chest.
"They're growing to hold the milk to feed the baby, so they hurt like a bitch on and off throughout pregnancy and I read that some people start leaking before the baby is even born" I informed and he made a grossed out face.
"Leaking? Your boobs leak?" She asked, and I laughed, nodding. "If you don't pump or feed the baby, they get too full and hurt and leak. You have to wear these like nipple patches to hold back the milk from leaking through your shirt, otherwise you'll have these like wet spots on your shirt, around your nipples" I giggled at the end, smiling at how she was interested in how my pregnancy was going.
She showed more interest in my pregnancy than the baby daddy did, which honestly made me quite nervous for how this relationship of co-parenting was going to go.
I had to remind myself that Gabe was trying, and did ask sometimes how things were going.. it's just that he is so busy with work that I think he sometimes forgets..
"I'm glad that when I'm on my period and my boobs hurt, they aren't leaking" She joked and I cracked a smile, nodding in agreement.
It was quiet for a minute and I pulled out the peppermint oil from my bedside drawer, rubbing some of it on my wrists and sniffing it to calm down my tummy.
"It's kinda cool that there are certain smells or tastes that help your nausea" Aaliyah said and I nodded, sniffing my wrist again. "It makes me look weird though. Imagine I walk by you and I'm sniffing my wrist intently" I chuckled.
"It's okay, you already look weird" She teased and I rolled my eyes, debating on hanging up on her.
"You know you really made me pause on Gordan Ramsey. Why do you want to put your baby up for adoption anyway?"
"I can't have my baby taken from me due to not being able to take care of it. You realize that if I can't care for this baby, the government will take him or her away from me and the idea of my baby being ripped away from me without my permission feels like someone stabbed me in the heart. You don't understand how terrified I am! No one ever talks about the logistics of having a baby. Everyone talks about how they find out they're pregnant, they tell their friends and family and live happily ever after. This shit fucking sucks. Yes, it's a beautiful thing that I get to grow a baby inside of me, but it isn't like it's a painless experience. I'm 10 weeks along today and I already have back pain, sore boobs, nausea, cravings, almost peeing my pants, not to mention I'm basically lying to people, plus there is the constant fear of losing the baby. You aren't in the clear until it's born. It's terrifying thinking about how I could do one thing wrong and lose my baby. Hell, I could do everything perfectly, and still lose the baby. It's fucking scary how much is out of your control. Not to mention, I still don't know how the fuck am I going to tell Colby I'm pregnant? Everyone else found out by accident! I told you and River because what else was I supposed to do? Katrina found out because my ass almost passed out in a fucking bowling alley. I had to tell Gabriel because he was the father and it's not like I can shove a pregnancy in his face, he isn't the dad. Sam found out because he saw Kat looking at my ultrasound photos. My dad found out because I fucking passed out in the hospital room, same with my siblings. Like how the fuck am I supposed to tell them? I was planning to be moved out by the time I was four months pregnant. I didn't want to include so many people in this." I cried and Aaliyah sighed, leaning against the bathroom door, twisting a threaded bracelet that was on her wrist.
"Is that what this is about? You're worried about Colby?" She asked and I shook my head.
"I'm worried about him being mad at me and kicking me out. I can't afford to live on my own. I honestly need to figure out this money shit before I bring this baby into our lives. Like how will I pay for it? I still need to go to college to even get anywhere with my life, I need to buy my own place before the baby gets here, because I'm not raising a baby with strangers. Whether they're my friends or not, they didn't sign up for a baby to be in their house." It was quiet for a second and rubbed at my eye and Jake spoke up, catching me off guard since I thought he was falling asleep.
"I think tomorrow, we need to sit down and figure out a way to do it. I know you don't want friends and family to give you money, but there are ways you can make more money, we just need to think about it. I don't want you to give up any of your dreams Leighton. You already gave up one of them, and I know you regret it to this day. I don't want that for you Leighton. You're like my sister, I can't lose you. We both know you want to keep this baby, so let's figure it out. Let's go to bed, and then tomorrow we can figure it out okay?"
~
When Lexi and I walked into the hospital, Landon was standing next to Cynthia with a big smile on his face. "Mom's awake!" He exclaimed, a grin filling out his cheeks.
"What?! Really?!" My face was full of surprise and he quickly nodded. I shoved his text books into his chest that Lexi and I had picked up from their school and ran into her room. "Mom!" I shouted, my eyes tearing up at the smile on her face.
"Hey sunshine!" She smiled even wider as I wiped the tears, going in to hug her.
"I'm sorry I wasn't here when you woke up! How long have you been awake for?" I questioned and I saw a guilty look flash across her eyes, making me confused.
"Since about 4am-"
"MOM!" I yelled, appalled that she didn't have them call us.
"What? I wasn't going to bother my family! You guys needed your rest!" She gave a bashful smile and I wanted to smack her.
"You almost died so many times and you didn't want to bug us by telling us you were awake!?"
"I'm sorry Leighton, but you're pregnant, you need it!" Her cheeks reddened as her smile grew and I shook my head.
"Whatever! That was mean" I pouted and she tugged on my arm, pulling me into her chest.
"How is my baby girl doing?" She asked and I looked at her weirdly.
"We don't know the gender yet?"
"I meant my daughter dumbass" She laughed and I grinned, excited that she was back to her playful self
"Don't let dad hear you utter those words or you'll get grounded" I teased and she laughed. "I'm doing alright mom. I gotta get to work soon though" I sighed, not wanting to leave her side.
"I'll be okay Leigh. Go to work, make your money, have a good day sweetie. I'll be here when you get back. You need to stop putting your life on hold just because of me" She encouraged me and I shook my head.
"You scared the crap out of me! You can't just send me off like it didn't happen! How are you by the way?" I asked, taking a seat next to her.
"I'm alright baby. Just sore, tired and I get headaches. We've done this all before Leighton. I'll be okay. We have to trust that I will be okay" She squeezed my hand and I sobbed, feeling her grip tighten against my palm.
I never wanted to forget that feeling.
"Are you taking care of yourself? Sleeping, eating? Taking your vitamins?" She asked and I nodded.
"I have a timer on my phone to take the prenatals. It's like birth control all over again" I chuckled "You need to stop worrying about me! You're the one who had brain surgery! Take it easy mom!"
"It's a mothers duty to worry about her children, and now I get to worry about my grandbaby too!" She smiled and I felt my heart drop.
If only she knew what I thought I wanted to do...
~
It was currently 4pm and I just got off my shift at Target, holding a fresh paycheck in my hands. It felt good to see the dollar mount on it. To know I was making money.
I was one step closer to achieving step one of my plan, and the feeling felt empowering.
The house was quiet, so I figured no one was home. I made a quick PB&J, waiting for the text from my dad telling me when my mom had woken up so I could visit. I decided it was time to look into how to set up an adoption, needing to learn about the process. I knew I needed to talk to Gabe about it, but I wanted all the facts first so I spent about an hour researching agencies and the ins and outs of the process. Every time I read "new home" my heart bled.
I really wanted this baby, but I knew I couldn't. I had to think of the child before myself. He or she deserved better.
I found myself staring at my reflection in the bathroom mirror, viewing my side profile in hopes of seeing a bump, or more bloating. Anything to indicate I was growing a baby, and much to my surprise, there was one.
It was small, but it was there and hey, size doesn't count, right?
I smiled at my little bump, brushing my hand over the slightly bigger bloating as I watched it move in and out as I breathed.
I don't know how long I was in the bathroom, analyzing my stomach, but I heard the front door open and voices fill the entryway making me walk out.
"I mean I think we should have enough people to play on the trip?" I heard Colby reply to whatever their conversation was. I decided to ignore them. I walked over to the couch and found my place in the article I was previously reading. I figured they'd go do their own thing, that was until I felt eyes burning into my soul.
I slowly glanced up over my phone, seeing Sam and Colby looking at me. "This is creepy y'know" I muttered and Sam chuckled tilting his head, and I copied his actions, tiling my own.
What were they up to?
"Do you want to go somewhere haunted with us?" Sam asked and my face scrunched up, confused as to why they were asking me this out of nowhere.
"Now why on earth would I want to do that?" I asked, flabbergasted by the idea of them asking me out of everyone they knew.
"It'll be fun!" Sam grinned and I could see he was going to do his best to convince me.
I needed convincing? How bad was this going to be? What were they up to?
"Where is it?" I asked, deciding to humor this idea they had, and he bit his lip. "It's a forest about 3 hours from here" He informed me and I shook my head. "Hell no. Last time I went into the woods I was hospitalized" Not to mention, pregnant, which he knew!
It would be extremely dangerous for me to go on this adventure. Anything could happen, and I needed to protect my little one! Why would he invite me to go to the woods with them if he knew I was pregnant?
"Please Leighton!" He begged and I eyed Colby who was glancing between Sam and I
What were they up to?
"Why do I have to go?" I asked, trying to figure out what their idiotic plan was.
I get Colby asking, since he didn't know, but Sam?
"Because I want to take someone who hasn't been! Nate's been already. I want to take someone who hasn't been before!" He said and I narrowed my eyes at him.
"That's the biggest load of bullshit you've ever said to me. Spill Sam" I raised my eyebrows at him, tired of whatever sly game they were trying to play.
"I'm not lying!" His outburst was loud, catching me by surprise.
"Bullshit Sam!" I shouted and he took a step back making me try to hold back a chuckle.
"Okay fine! We want to hang out with you" He confessed and I started laughing, causing them all to look at me weirdly.
And there it was.
"So let me get this straight, you wanted to con me into going to some haunted sketchy ass forest with you guys, just because you wanted to hang out?" I asked, catching my breath as I sat up.
"I mean, we also need to film a video" Sam confessed and I chuckled again, shaking my head in disbelief
"I'll hang out with you guys, but can we just play a game or something? I worked for 8 hours. I don't want to get lost in a forest" I half lied, giving Sam a knowing look.
Yes, I didn't want to go walking in a forest after working a long shift, but I most importantly didn't want to fall on my face and hurt my baby.
I definitely wasn't looking forward to growing as big as a watermelon and having swollen ankles. Walking would definitely suck then, so maybe I should get in as much walking now as I could before my ankles are bigger than my head.
"How about we invite over some of our friends?" Colby suggested and my heart raced at the idea of more people coming over and possibly learning my secret.
If I leave every 2 seconds to pee or vomit, surely they're smart enough to put two and two together.
"Can I invite over someone?" I asked, catching them off guard.
"You have friends?" Colby asked and my jaw dropped. "What is that supposed to mean!?"
"I only ever see you hang out with Jake" He told me and I glared at him.
I pushed myself up off the couch and I felt like a bladder was going to combust.
Fuck
I quickly shoved them out of the way and went to book it to the bathroom, only for Nate to be in the bathroom.
Oh I'm not going to make it.
I can't have my first time peeing my pants as a pregnant person when I'm 10 weeks along! Peeing your pants is embarrassing as it is, but it's even more embarrassing when you're not even that far along!
I repeatedly said "fuck" in my head as I quickly ran upstairs, rushing to the hallway bathroom. I have never been more thankful that I wasn't the size of an elephant with my baby weighing me down as I rushed up these stairs. If I couldn't move quickly, I for sure would've combusted on their stairs.
What was I? A puppy? Ugh.
"Oh thank god" I sighed, thankful I didn't pee myself in front of the boys.
I knew I should've peed when I got home.
I swear sometimes I forget I'm pregnant.
I frowned, that word repeating in my head
Pregnant
Was I really going to do this? Could I do this?
Could I let go of my baby?
Could I really go through with the adoption idea?
"Leighton, are you okay?" Sam asked outside the bathroom. I dried my hands, opened the door and nodded. "I was gonna piss my pants man" I breathed out and Sam laughed. "The bean is killing me" I grumbled, trying to be discreet in case Colby was nearby.
I honestly couldn't wait to tell him. I was tired of hiding. It was exhausting. I wish I knew what his reaction would be so I would be less afraid, but sadly the fear and anxiety kept winning.
All I could think about is how he already hated me, and I had no money to support myself.
I needed him, and that crushed me.
I hated depending on people
We walked back downstairs and Colby was talking to someone on his phone and Nate was scrolling through Instagram on his phone.
"Do you work this weekend Leighton?" Colby asked after he hung up with whoever he was talking to, catching me off guard yet again.
"Um.. I work tomorrow but I'm off till Tuesday" I sat down, grabbing a blanket from behind me to cover my tummy since I wasn't wearing a hoodie.
Last thing I needed was my shirt to cling to me and my little pudge to poke out.
I know I was being dramatic and that they more than likely wouldn't notice considering it probably was just bloating from all the water I've been drinking. Last thing I needed was for Colby to find out, add it to his case of why I'm sketchy, and then kick me out.
"Do you want to come with us to the Airbnb?" Colby asked and I couldn't help but glare at him.
"You already uninvited me dumbass"
Okay, so apparently pregnant me holds grudges now. That's good to know I guess.
I frowned at the idea of this baby slowly chipping my true self away, I just hoped these thoughts and feelings were worth it in the end.
"I'm sorry. The reason behind it was childish, will you please come with us?" He asked again and I frowned, trying to read through his lies.
Why did he have such a change of heart suddenly?
"Why would I want to come with you guys to a place you didn't want me to go to in the first place?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.
"Leighton, can I talk to you for a minute alone?" Colby asked and I narrowed my eyes at him.
"Why?"
"Please?" He begged, confusing me even more.
Was I asleep? Why was everyone acting so weird today?
Nate and Sam looked at us weirdly as Colby stood up and walked up the stairs. I glanced over to Sam who gave me a weird look, telling me he didn't know so I just blindly followed Colby, and I found him just chilling on the floor in the hallway.
"What the fuck?" I laughed, Colby laying on his back in the hallway. I decided to join him, and I laid down parallel next to him.
"Whatcha doin'?" I turned my head to face him and I saw a grin fill his face before he replied.
"Just chilling. What 'bout you?" He asked, staring up at the ceiling.
"J chillin'" I replied, going back to look at the ceiling. We laid in silence until I spoke up again. "Is this what you wanted from me?" I asked and he shook his head, sitting up and turning so he was leaning against the wall.
I copied his movement so we were sitting across from each other.
"I wanted to call a truce" He said and my lips pursed a little, my forehead wrinkling. "A truce? I didn't know we were in war" I replied and I felt my eyes feel tired from trying to gain any reading off of him.
I felt like all of today's events were finally hitting me. Things like me saying I wanted to put the baby up for adoption, to my mom waking up, to working to where we are now, I felt like my body was hit by a truck, and all I wanted to do was take a fat nap.
"Look, I'll stop thinking you're an evil witch, if you agree to not be an evil witch" He smirked and I pulled my lips in, a smile forming on my face against my will. "How am I supposed to eat the children then?" I bit my lip, trying not to break my cover. I watched his chest shake a little from the laugh he held back and made a "fair point" motion with his head, then leaned his head against the wall so his neck was stretched out and I watched his Adam's apple move, making my insides quiver a little bit.
God I needed to get laid.
It was quiet for a second before I let out an exhale. "I have a question" I spoke up, eying him and his eyes opened and he sat up straighter.
"Okay?"
"Will you tell me why you think I'm sketchy other than thinking I self harmed?" I asked and I watched his face fill with dread, causing a pit to form in my stomach.
"Look Leighton, I'm sorry. I know my words won't change my actions, but I am sorry for sussing you all the time"
"But why? If we are calling a truce, can I at least know what you're sussing? Is there any way I can clear the air with how you were and or are feeling?" I asked and he sighed before nodding.
"The day you got here for the interview, I was nervous because one, you are really pretty, but two, I knew you didn't fuck around. Before you ask, I never planned on pinning after you. I have no intentions of trying to get with you. That's not what this is about. I can admit you're beautiful though. It started when you walked in. You were the first girl we had interviewed to be our roommate, and I had told you when you came over how the other interviews had gone, so I was nervous you'd turn out like those ones. Like I already told you, we've never had to go through this process before. We usually knew someone who knew someone that needed somewhere to live. When you sat down on the couch you held your posture in a way that came off like you were very professional. Like this wasn't your first rodeo, but you also held a sense of insecurity. Like it was a cover up and you were hiding something. The way you were sitting, you showed you meant business, but the way your foot bounced and you fiddled with your rings meant you were nervous. I coughed it up to be because you were nervous for the interview. Then you somehow got really close to Kat, and I couldn't help but wonder how. Like I felt like there was a motive. Like Kat is all cute and bubbly, it's how we became friends and how she got Sam to date her" He grinned, almost seeming like he was reminiscing. "But when you guys met, she literally made you cry which was kind of bewildering. I don't think she's ever made someone cry before, and before I knew it, you guys were like best friends. You hung out alone a lot, she talked highly of you, she was mad that I thought you were being weird.. like she was all team Leighton, and then eventually Sam was also Team Leighton. It kind of felt like you were getting everyone to turn on me. Like you manipulated them into your plan, and I was the only one who could see through it. It felt like I was looking into a two way mirror. I will be honest, Sam asked you to live with us before I agreed to it and that also made me upset, and I was probably more annoyed with you than I should've been. Being kind of big on YouTube in our own little way, I'm used to people using us. Meeting new people is fun and exciting, but there is always that thought in the back of your head of "What are their intentions" because a lot of people used us, to gain off of. Like we had this cool idea, we did it, they saw it did well, they copied it ectara. One of our old roommates did that, and still does. Like even people we trusted turned their backs on us, so how was I supposed to trust a complete stranger who gave me the vibe of "I have a plan, watch me fool these idiots". I felt like you had a tactic and were up to something, and it made me nervous to live with you. I didn't want to feel like I had to always watch my back in my own home. We did that way too much these past few years. One of the reasons we only lived with Jake for a while after two of our other friends moved out. Every time I tried to tell Sam my concerns, he ignored me. Well I guess that isn't true. He did listen to me, he just thought I was reading too much into it, and y'know, maybe I was. I will say looking back on it, that that whole scenario was strange. We are pretty good at talking through things, but in my point of view, it felt like he had made up his mind and didn't care about what I had to say, and that was frustrating. But Sam thought I was acting weird because you were a girl, which wasn't the case at all. I've lived with other people's girlfriends before. I didn't care that you were a girl, but he went through with the roommate thing anyway. Our old roommates always did game night and stuff when we lived in a different house. Like we always hung out together at night unless we weren't home, and you wanted nothing to do with us, and I know that is an unfair suspicion, but I found it odd. Like why didn't you want to hang out with your new roommates? Get to know each other and create some sort of bond? Granted, we were all friends before so even that I will admit is a little different, and I probably overreacted, I'm sorry. And yes we moved in with strangers before, but we did know some people beforehand. But it still felt weird seeing you want nothing to do with us and I thought that was strange as well. You're like no one we've ever lived with before, and it triggered some alarm bells. It was just a completely different scenario and like Kat told me yesterday, you're different. Which isn't a bad thing! It's just hard adapting to new things, especially in your own home. Everyone we've lived with or are friends with, are pretty heavy into social media, and you don't have one at all. Which is kinda weird, just saying" He gave me a weird look that read "just saying" making me fidget with my rings, feeling the need to explain myself, even though I already told him why. "Like you have a job, and that has never been anything we've ever had to consider before. Everyone we hang out with does Social Media. They go by their own hours. We usually just text the group chat, see if anyone wants to come with us, and plan that way. We've never had to be like "Do you work on this day or that day" which adds to a whole new level of trying to hang out with you. When I found out your mother was going to have brain surgery that night we spontaneously went over to your parents house, I'll be honest, I felt sympathy. Not in the sense of, "Oh her mother is having brain surgery, how sad for her" but in the sense of "Oh her being scatterbrained is making a little more sense" Like I felt a little guilty for being so hard on you. For thinking you were up to more than you actually were. When Kat and your sister went upstairs to get you for the movie, Aaliyah asked your mom if she was nervous for her surgery, and obviously none of us knew about it and we were all confused, but she said that she had already done it once, and that she had to believe she'd be able to make it through again, it clicked that part of your weird actions. I thought about how it could have been because you had a lot to worry about with your mom's surgery being so soon. This past week, I've noticed you're more down to earth, even when you're still dramatic at times. Like you let your hard shell shatter for a couple hours, and showed us you aren't who we thought you were, in the best ways and I wish you'd show us that version of yourself more often. It's so much easier to hang out with you, when you let your guard down. I feel like I don't have to look for any signs, and I can actually enjoy your company. I know that sounds like the most obvious thing, but you NEVER let your guard down. I don't want the only version I see of you, to be the one protecting herself. You're more fun when your guard is down and you're enjoying yourself, than when you're always on edge." Colby's face had a really small smile on it, before his facial muscles relaxed and he started talking again. "Sam and I are home a lot, and we never see you. We see you pass in the halls, sometimes get food... but it was always like oh she's awake, she left, she came home and went to bed. You've been here for about a month now, and it's always been the same cycle. I was nervous to invite you on this friend's trip, because I couldn't help but let the idea in the back of my head toy with me some more. Like, what if she did have a plan to screw us all over? What if she leaked our phone number or our address? What if she was secretly trying to befriend my friends, gain clout off of them and then steal them and make her own thing out of it. I know it all has to do with trust issues and anxiety around what had previously happened... but I couldn't help but let it truly control me when I saw Sam become Team Leighton. Sam has been my best friend since we were 14 and it felt like he was easily replacing me, and it hurt. I'm sorry I took it out on you but I couldn't just let you steal him away from me, even if that wasn't your intention at all, so I acted out, and I'm sorry. That's why I wanted to call a truce. I was tired of being on edge, and watching your every move and thinking you were out to get us" he sighed and then paused before eyeing me "You're not out to get us are you?" He joked and I kept a straight face as I replied, watching his face drop into a look of dread.
"That's for me to know and for you to find out" I teased and he narrowed his eyes a little at me, and I could tell he was trying to see if I was messing with him or not.
"You're not fucking with me right?" He asked again and I cracked a smile, shaking my head.
"I swear I have no plans to screw you guys over. Is it time for me to be honest?" I asked and he raised an eyebrow.
"I mean, I guess. What, you got secrets?" He asked and I gnawed the inside of my lip, shrugging.
"Sam knows, so I guess I only got secrets from you. Let me tell the story from my point of view, and hopefully it will clear out any air holes yours has. So Aaliyah found you guys. She found your application and told me to apply. I had no clue who you guys were, and I was nervous to meet you guys because it was a household of guys, and for all I know you'll rape me or something, but anyway, you guys were the only option I had. With my current situation, I didn't want to live with my ex-boyfriend and I didn't want to move back home, but I'm tight on money and I didn't want to live with someone who's rent was really cheap. I guess you can say I'm paranoid of living with strangers. I went from my home with my parents to an apartment with my longtime boyfriend. Anyway, my... what you would call, motive or scheme or plan or whatever, was that I'd live here short term, get on my feet and leave. You would all forget about me. It was just a blip of time y'know? Like something you'd vaguely remember. I wanted to be out of here in a couple months, that was the plan. I just needed somewhere temporary to stay. I had no intentions of befriending you guys because I never planned to stay. My mind is focused on earning money, so I had to get a job and then the next step would be to rent an apartment and you guys would forget about me. I had zero intentions of mooching off you, or stealing your fame or followers or whatever it is you guys have. Kat and I clicked over something I don't want to talk about just yet, and she was there for me when others weren't."
"So you're leaving us?" He asked and I sighed, not prepared to talk about this yet.
I didn't even know my own plans yet, how was I supposed to answer him?
Now was my chance thought. I could tell him I was pregnant and it would explain everything he'd want to know... but there was one problem.
I was afraid.
Terrified even.
"Well I have some stuff going on in my life, that puts me down that path, so yeah, I'm working towards it" I shrugged and he nodded slowly.
Crap, did I make things worse?
"Is there any way we could help you?" Colby asked and I sighed, not wanting any handouts.
I shook my head, messing with the strings coming out of the rips in my jeans.
"You don't have to pay rent. That could help?" He suggested, and I shook my head.
"You guys wanted 200, and I agreed to it. Just because you know I'm struggling doesn't mean you get to hand me an easy way out" I fought and he rolled his eyes, propping his leg up, and leaning his elbow on his knee, his knuckles resting against his jaw.
"It wouldn't be an easy way out. I'm just trying to help" I could tell he was starting to feel defeated, but I couldn't help it. I didn't want help. I didn't want the easy way out. I wanted to look back and know I never took shortcuts. That I did it the right, hard working way.
"I want to be proud of myself for doing it. I'll be okay. It's just going to take longer than I thought. I already talked with Aaliyah and there are some avenues I can take. I'll be okay. Don't worry about me" I gave him a fake smile and he seemed to be eyeing me down.
Fuck, was he on to me? Did he know how bad it was?
I felt like anxiety was taking over my body and I wanted nothing more than to spill my guts, but I couldn't.
Colby nodded, stood up and offered me his hand. "Truce?" He asked and I nodded, taking his hand in my own and he helped me up.
"Truce" I shook his hand and he grinned, nodding as well.
"We better go downstairs before Sam and Nate think we're up to no good" Colby mumbled and I stopped in my tracks, watching him walk down the steps.
What does that mean?
I walked downstairs and Sam was standing in the kitchen.
I walked downstairs and Sam was standing in the kitchen when he asked me "So Leighton, are you coming with us?" and I'm sure surprise was written all over my face, which would be the explanation for his confused glanced towards Colby.
Oh yeah. That.
"Um..." I glanced over at Colby, remembering our truce and slowly nodding, watching his grin make the apple of his cheeks pop.
I guess sometimes you really do get to start over.
* * * *
Almost at 500 reads? Damn
Going to be honest, I didn't think this book would do well since it's out of my comfort zone...
Written on: January 6th, 7th, 8th 2022
Published on: January 8th 2022
Republished/edited on: March 23rd 2022
Word Count: 6461