It is now 9 o'clock in the morning.
Usually I am already in the cafe at eight.
But for the first time since it started, I am absent.
I couldn't fake it.
My heart is in pure pain.
Since I called Bea a minute after I sent the last message to Jessica,
The break up message 😣
She is not calling me back yet.
Hindi ko alam kung nakita ba niya, nagkausap ba sila? Saan niya hinatid?
I don't know.
I am worried.
Baka kung ano na nangyari dun.
And it's my fault.
Yeah, kasalanan ko to lahat.
All those that's happened, it is in me.
If only I didn't forced her to commit with me.
If only I didn't forced boil the spaghetti, straight pa rin siya.
If only I didn't interrupt her relationship with him.
She could have been married and probably taking care of their child already.
Here I am,
All alone again.
Well what can I do?
I love her so much that I am willing to give everything to her. Even her freedom.
I made love to her before she left for work.
I kissed and devoured her to wipe these worries away. But instead, it just made them concrete.
She doesn't love me anymore.
Or it is not the right sentiment.
Ang sakit sa ulo magisip!
Pagod na ko.
Pagod na pagod na ko...
I'm tired proving my worth.
I'm tired of doing everything just to show to everybody that I am worth it.
But the hardest part of it all,
Is you will never know if you've done enough.