I'm a Villainess, But So What...

By mrmacpuffy

626K 26.2K 2.6K

Honestly, I don't give a rat's ass about anything from the storyline. Those fucking capture targets are so da... More

Introduction
The Novea Family's Baby Prodigy
Three Year Old Alice's First Thesis
My Daughter and Her Antics
The Cliche Novel's Place in My Life
Magic Types
Alice's Sleep Deprived State
Alice's Mischievous Escapades
My Sister, The Troublemaker
The Sickly Prodigy's Appearance
I Met a Peculiar Girl
My Playdate With the Ragdoll
Boredom is My Enemy
The Awkwardness that is My Life
The Class from the Pits of Hell
The Deranged Novice Hunter, Nova
Maria's Absolute Retribution
'Camping Out' On the Clearing
Nova the Spy
Get Off of Me, You Piece of Shit
Alice's First Pet Named Lizzy
My Therapy Session with the Crown Prince
A Fly Buzzing Around My Ear
Deranged Friends and Family
Little Al's Ultimate Weapon
Lazy Alice and the Fifteen Year Old Assassin
Ax's Existential Crisis
Hibernating with Liz
The Dreadful Birthday Party
Scaring the Unscarable Assassin
Meeting Ms. Pink Fluff Ball
Temptations of Murder
Birdbrain No. 1 & 2
Pirouette-ing in Victory
The Bait, the Prince, and the Silly Dance
Am I Wrong, Professor?
I Can Break the Swatter
How to Beguile Mr. Shrewd
Lady Novea, My Newfound Rival
It's Fine, It's Fine, We'll Torture Him Together, Okay?
Castrating My Soon-to-be Boring Toy
The Glowy Sword in Chains
The Beginning of Summer Camp
The Hothead in the Morning
Alice Novea's Troublesome Conundrum
Alice, Naska, and the Two Phoenix Familiars
The Aruarnul Amulet
A Life After the Next
The Brightly Colored Cube in the Hall
Those Stupid People of Hers
The Talent Show, the Execution, and The Harmless Prank
Your Choice, Young Padawan
Fast Forward Overview
I'm Going Abroad
The Dolts of the Elven Kingdom
The Nature of [Descension]
Mixuni's Fling with Ms. Svennal
Her Peaceful Academy Life
Rain's Hellish Job
The Oasis, the Comrade, and the Airhead
The Elf Mixuni's First Breakdown
Flying Orange Peach with Gloved Stems
The Beginning of Winter Break
The Drunk Narcassist
The Stairway to Fairydom
The Past to the Present
Attitude Issues of that Goddamn Prince
Alice's First Cut
'Geh' Game of Brain
The Kingdom of Mer
Invincible Statue of Karaoke
The Appearance of Who?
Al's Small Realization
The Shivers
Beginning of a Journey
Daily Life of the Party
It's Fun to Mess With Assassins
A Girl and a Period
Kidnapped?! I'm So Scared... Not
The Barrier
To the Devil's Castle, I Go
The Nude Dude
Alice's First Sick Day
Sebastian Butler
The Perverted Servant, Miro
Parents' Dismay
The Games Begin
The Chair
UhHhHhH wHaT sHoUlD tHiS bE cAlLeD?
The Blackout Box
Pathetic Challenge
Jacob
I Think I'm Becoming More of a Brocon
First Time Skiing?
The Inscriptions
NOTICE!
Book Two Prologue
NEW BOOK BOIS!

I Dub Thee Human Punching Bag

3.6K 196 3
By mrmacpuffy


I was quite surprised when I found out that Hothead didn't surrender. Of course, the Idiot Prince did, which I guess makes him less of an idiot than I thought.

I guess I kind of admired him for actually persevering and stuff, but... it was a bold and stupid move.

I retrieved my aura and suppressed it like I usually did, and readied my sword.

You're probably wondering right now, 'How can Alice not hold back while attacking him yet not kill him at the same time?'

Well, the answer is simple.

I can't.

Of course I can't! If I didn't hold back, do you think I wouldn't already be suppressing my aura right now?

If I didn't hold back, then he would DIE!

My future husband (well, not really) will DIE!

So of course I had to hold back.

...But just enough as to not kill him, right?

----

I was up in the air, using gravity to hold him up while beating him repeatedly with air magic. His face was swelling, with numerous bruises and cuts on his handsome features.

"When are you going to give in?"

"I'm... not... ready!"

I sighed and continued my one-way beatdown to hell.

"You know what, I give in. Not for the battle, of course, but as your fiance. I was holding back, and was stopping myself from almost killing you, but since you, yourself, announced that I wouldn't be your future wife, who am I to say no?"

My ruby red eyes shined with blood.

"Ehehehehehehe... Your name shall not be Hothead no more... I dub thee... Human Punching Bag!"

I flew closer to him in a half second and brought my fists to his face. He tried to fight back, but he couldn't, of course, since he couldn't control gravity, now could he?

Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Pow. Boom. Shk. Poof. Beep. 

I punched his face bloody until he fell unconscious, and continued to land heavy blows on his body until the judge started panicking.

"L-Lady Novea is the winner of this match!"

...And that is how I got my hands on the shiny-interesting-amulet-of-my-dreams.

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A/N: Had a bout of inspiration; may edit and then republish some time later after finishing writing another story, since I'm more focused on my other...