Just like that, his demons are back. Darkness crept into his heart like poison, silently killing the hope he held onto for seven short days. The world spun and blurred around him, as his arms and legs started losing strength.
He reached out to hold onto the newspaper stand whilst trying to blink away the dizziness. He knew he needs to calm down and do something—that is, go back to his apartment and smash that damn hourglass to smithereens.
Going back to his original world is not an option anymore. If severing his connection to the other world is a way to prevent Lilac from dying or getting hurt, then breaking it or not shouldn't be a question.
Though that can wait for a day or two. He needs to see her now. Just reading a text or seeing her in the small screen of his phone won't be enough to silence his nightmares. He doesn't care if the old man is still standing beside him, or if he had vanished into some other universe to torment some other version of him. Without hesitation, he whirled around and walked back to where he parked his car.
He didn't bother informing his manager or his members. The second he sat on the driver's seat, he brought his phone out and booked a one-way ticket to China.
Driving into the VIP entrance of the airport feels like déjà vu. This was the exact place he also found himself in, the second day he arrived in this world. He remembered disguising as one of her fansites, just so he could catch a glimpse of her.
Crazy. It sure feels like that happened years ago when in truth, only a couple of months passed.
He told the security personnel that he booked a flight for personal reasons, which is none of his company's business. Like what happened back then, they asked for his ID and were even momentarily confused by his lack of luggage. But they eventually let him pass and gestured for him to pay for a parking slot, good for two days.
He is seated in the VIP lounge, waiting for the departure announcement, when his phone rang. He expected it to be one of his managers and was about to decline the call, but once he saw Hei-won's name, he did the opposite.
"Hei," he bowed his head, further hiding his face under his cap so he could pull his mask down a bit.
"We heard about what happened to Lilac. Where are you? Aera and I are on our way to your apartment."
"I'm at the airport."
There was a pause, like the older guy is trying to digest what he just uttered. Then there's a defeated sigh, "you should have called her manager first, I'm sure that's what Seo-mi told you. Maybe she's fine and it's not serious."
His jaw instantly clenched, and without noticing, he snapped; "How can it not be serious? She collapsed! What if there's something they didn't tell us? What if she got into some accident?!"
"Hey, hey! Calm down! Christ... I'm just saying, maybe there's no need for you to go! Did you even bother texting Yohan about this?"
"Hei-won, please. I don't need this right now. I'll be there for only a day or two. I need to see her with my own two eyes."
"Look, I know. I know about what you experienced back in the other... side. Maybe that's the reason why you reacted this way. But if you keep acting like this and be too overprotective of her, it can be too much for the both of you. Try to control it as early as now, will you? You can't always go to her whenever something happens. Lilac might find it excessive and feel—"
"I know that too, okay?," he closed his eyes and rubbed his temple, trying to ease his growing headache. "I know. But I can't help it. Either I go to her now, or go crazy and call her every hour just to check."
"Did something happen?," Hei-won's voice became a bit cold. "Be honest with me, Kio. What happened for you to be this alarmed?"
He's still unwilling to share about his encounter with the old man, at least not yet. His emotions are all over the place and he can't even think straight. Good thing his much-awaited announcement resounded from the overhead speakers that exact moment.
"I need to go. I'll call again later or tomorrow. Please tell the others I will be fine." Without waiting for his friend's response, he ended the call and set it into airplane mode.
Because he had to book a flight the last minute, he only got a seat in business class. Fortunately, no one blatantly tried to interact with him, but it's quite obvious he didn't go unrecognized. That was proven the minute they landed and he turned his phone's airplane mode off. An influx of text messages, missed calls and social media alerts made the little device vibrate non-stop.
A call instantly covered all the notifications with Manager Chen's registered contact. He hurriedly minimized it and put the phone on 'Do not disturb.'
"Sir?" He looked up and was greeted by a pair of flight attendants, one male and a female. "We're here to guide you to the VIP exit. Beijing Capital Airport's security personnels are now waiting to ensure your safety," the man—probably around Yohan's age—said with a smile.
He frowned, "I didn't arrange for a security detail."
The two attendants looked at each other before the man leaned towards him a bit, and whispered; "We were informed it was arranged by Ms. Ayutthaya, Sir. One of her bodyguards is also waiting to drive you."
Damn, can't she be any more perfect?
°.•⏳.°•
"Sir, she told me to give you this," Lilac's bodyguard handed him what seem like a piece of paper. They just arrived in the hotel's basement parking lot, the SUV stopping right in front of the elevator. "Twenty-fifth floor, unit two-five-four," the well-built man added.
"Thank you," he slightly bowed before stepping out of the car. Only when he's inside the lift and its doors are about to close, did the black vehicle drive away.
He adjusted the backpack strapped on his shoulders before looking down the folded paper in his hand. Once spread out, a card appeared in the middle of the letter. He lifted it up and instantly recognized a key card, the hotel's name printed on it—both in Chinese and English characters—and an arrow pointing at one edge of the rectangular piece.
Lilac's familiar Korean handwriting greeted his eyes next. The strokes already engraved in his mind with how many times he had read her last letter.
Ahn Ki-Ryeong! Don't you think this is too much? You don't really have to come, it's just overfatigue, okay? Ah... seriously! How can you be so impulsive? But I can't deny that I really miss you :( Anyway, just enter the suite right away. I left a spare key card to Mr. Lin. The doctor told me to rest so I had to stay in bed. I'll wait for you!
PS. I decided to write this letter instead of texting 'cause I'm sure your phone is bombarded with messages, and you won't be opening them any time soon.
Yours, Lilac xx
Overfatigue... not an accident nor something that can critically injure her. She is also resting in her suite, instead of the hospital, meaning she only needs rest and perhaps a good night's sleep.
That's just it, Ki-Ryeong. Stop your paranoia and fucking breathe. He took a calming breath as the elevator rang once, signaling his arrival in the right floor. The silver doors slid open and he wasted no time walking out and looking for his girlfriend's suite.
"Two-five-four, two-five-four," he absentmindedly muttered under his breath, his heart beginning to beat quicker in excitement. "Found you."
He raked his fingers through his recently-trimmed hair, his sideburns now semi-shaved. He then smoothed down the front of his shirt, before inserting the card into the electronic lock. It released two consecutive beeps as it got unlocked, which just made his chest tighten more.
The second he stepped inside the suite, his body seemed to move on autopilot. He dropped his bag, removed his shoes and socks, didn't bother wearing the free indoor slippers, and ran barefoot straight to the door that's bigger than the others and the only one left ajar. He opened it wider and almost went down his knees seeing the love of his life—alive and well. She is comfortably sitting on the queen-sized bed in her silk pajamas, her back against the headboard, as a Western movie plays on the flatscreen across the bed.
"Baby, come here," Lilac opened her arms, and despite her slightly pale complexion, her eyes stayed lively and her lips stretched with her usual smile.
There you are, the only light in my darkness.
The second he's in her embrace, Kio let himself fall apart, because she is the only one capable of putting his fallen pieces back together. He laid sideways on her lap, his arms circled around her waist and his face buried in her stomach.
He relished on the feeling of her warm breath hitting his cheek as she leaned down to peck on it, and the faint sound of her heartbeat that he's able to hear and feel from his position—the evidences of her existence. She's still here, with him, and he can't let even a single risk or the littlest possibility of danger that could snatch her away from him again.
"I'm okay," she assured him once again.
Kio rolled onto his back so he could look up to her. He reached up and cradled her face with his palm, "you will always be. I won't let anyone cause you harm."
She sadly smiled, a look of understanding masking her face. "Is this about the nightmare? Hei-won told me about it, I thought it was made-up at first. What happened in that dream, Ki-Ryeong?"
His body tensed, and he knew she felt it too by how her brows suddenly furrowed. His hand dropped and reached for hers instead, their fingers automatically intertwining. When he failed to respond right away, his girlfriend continued;
"I'm slowly coming to realize that... some of the things I know and believe about you, may not be the truth. We're together now, can't we be more honest to each other?" He felt her squeeze his hand, as her next words somehow brought fear in him.
"Was there really an ex-girlfriend? Hei-won said he's lying when he told others that you've been in love with me for a long time, but it turned out to be the truth. Then there's your ex, and I've seen how you've been so devastated back when you broke up, so I'm pretty sure she's real. But sometimes—I don't know, sometimes I feel like she's not? Because there's this nightmare with me in it, instead of her, that's causing you anxiety. How do all these come together? I mean, they do not add up in my head even with how long I tried to figure it out."
Kio sat up, and even though it was only his side profile facing her, he knew his discomfort didn't escape Lilac's attention. It made her slid closer to him and rub his arm with her free hand. Her warmth is such a great contrast to his cold skin.
"I know this might not be right time, but I've been so happy the past days. I've been over the moon. But there's always questions lingering in my head..." she sighed.
"I don't know how to tell you yet," he finally uttered, looking straight into her eyes. "I'm saying this not because I want to dodge your question, I really don't know how..." he sighed in defeat. "Can you wait a little longer for me to come up with a way?"
She slightly smiled, "take your time. As long as you're willing to tell me, I can wait."
For the first time today, a genuine smile stretched on his face and without any bit of hesitation, he leaned closer and took his girlfriend's lips with his.
What was supposed to be a gentle one, became desperate and consuming. Lilac readily opened her mouth, before he dove in and carefully pushed her down as he hovered above. He felt everything she probably did unconsciously. How her arms went around his shoulders, and her fingers started combing and pulling his hair. How her back arched, just to get closer to him. How their legs grasped each other like vines, never letting go.
"You need to rest," he tried—oh so hard—to convince her and himself. "Baby..." he then groaned.
"I already got plenty of rest."
"No," he breathed out, and summoned all the control in his body before rolling to her side. "Sleep more. I'm yours, all day tomorrow."
She playfully glared but cuddled with him nonetheless. "You're mine all day, everyday."
"I stand corrected," he then carefully pushed her face to his chest and kissed the top of her head lovingly. "I'm yours in every lifetime, even though we're not meant to be. I'm still yours."
She's not meant to be with you in this world.
As the old man's voice rang inside his head, he closed his eyes and tightened his arms around her. "Let it be me against the world, then," he absentmindedly muttered.
"Hmm? You said something?"
"No, go to sleep now."
She giggled but went silent right after. He thought she had fallen asleep as minutes ticked by, and was about to do the same when he heard her murmur;
"Us against the world, my love. Take me with you. Let's fight together."