The roads are all too familiar as I drive back to my house. I know Wesley will be home by now, but I'm hoping that he is asleep or passed out. Whichever will do. Hopefully work was a pain in the ass and he decided he didn't want to wait up for me.
Greg wanted to keep Elijah tonight, and said that they wanted to bake some more things with Gregs new cookbook. I easily agreed, honestly wanting the night to myself. Doubtful though, since Wesley is home.
But again, he doesn't know about what I discovered today. And he doesnt know that I have been fucking Dustin behind his back. I wonder if I should give Dustin a call, but as I look at my dash and see that it's nearing midnight, I decide against it. Besides, I need to keep my thoughts to myself and not reveal anything to him just yet.
If Wesley is still awake, I plan on asking him for a divorce tonight. I know what is bound to follow, but it can't be anything worse than I have experienced before. An argument, several slaps, maybe a punch to the stomach. Oh god. I can't let that happen.
As much as I know this child is unplanned, I love it already. Dustin may despise me for it, since we haven't talked about children at all, but this baby is mine and I intend to keep it. I intend to give it the best life I can possibly give it.
I wonder how my conversation with Wesley will go. As soon as I divorce him, I will tell Dustin everything. I'll tell him about the baby. His baby. I'll tell him what I plan to do with it and see what he thinks from there.
I just have to leave Wesley, and that is going to be the first and hardest step. I start to panic as I make my way into my parking space in front of our house. This is it. If he is awake, I'm asking him for a divorce.
Collecting my thoughts, I gather my things and walk up the stairs with unhurried steps. I'm not rushing this. I need as much time alone as I can get.
I open my door, finding it already unlocked. I immediately see Wesley sitting on the couch, staring at the tv as football players dart across the screen. I sigh and set my things down on the counter top.
"Hey." I whisper. He just laughs. Laughs? Why is he laughing? I look around the dark and empty house, wondering what the hell is going on with him.
"I thought you'd be asleep by now" I said to him, taking a seat on the far end of the couch. Looking over, I see a beer in his hands and his bloodshot eyes are staring at me. I should have figured he'd be drinking again, but when he drinks excessively like this he's normally passed out long before I get home. Unless something is really bothering him.
"Yeah well when my wife is fucking someone behind my back, I believe I have a right to stay awake." I flinch at his words. What? He knows? No, he can't. He's testing me.
"What do you mean, Wesley? I love you." I know how he is right now, and as much as I wanted to bring up the divorce, I know I can't now.
He shuffles his body and reaches into his pocket. Pulling out a white strip of plastic. I gasp and scoot away from him, knowing that he knows.
"That-" He cuts me off.
"We havent had sex in over a month Nova! Youve been lying behind my fucking back! You're a cheating little bitch!" He shouts, making my body flinch.
"I'm sorry." I whisper, knowing that even though our relationship hasn't been the same for a while, I still betrayed our vows.
"How long? How long have you been with him?" He grumbles, turning away from me as he takes another sip of his beer.
"For about two, maybe three months." I whisper, keeping my eyes locked on my hands. I'm surprised by how calm he is reacting. Usually with this much alcohol in his system, he would be fuming with rage.
"And?" He asks, taking another sip. I look over at him, confused.
"And what?"
"Is he better than me?" I look at him, shocked. I never thought he would ask this question. Is Dustin better than him? Of course he is. Dustin is magical and loving and carefree. He's everything I've always wanted. His entire presence makes my body light up with spark, making me feel high in the best way possible.
"Wesley..." I whisper, not wanting to answer him. He slams his beer down onto the coffee table and glares at me. I now know that he is pissed and there is no way around it. The more I speak, the angrier he will be. The more I stay quiet, the more hateful he will get.
"Fucking tell me!" He shouts.
"Yes, he is." Wesley sighs beside me but relaxes into the couch.
"I thought we had something good, Nova. Youre mine, you always have been. You need me, you can't live without me. We're married, we are partners." He growls, his voice getting increasingly louder.
"I know, I'm sorry."
"I want to know the entire story. I know you guys have a past, no matter how many times you try to deny it. Tell me the fucking truth." He demands. I shift my body on the couch and steady my weight onto my seat.
"There's no story. I don't want to talk about it!" I tell him, trying to ease him of heartbreak.
"Youre fucking lying! Who the hell is he, Nova? Why do you care about him so much? Youre fucking pregant with his baby!" He shouts. I stand up and start pacing the room, fear starting to settle into my body.
"I gave him my virginity in highschool, and we found each other again and the feelings came back." I mumble, my voice shaking with every syllable.
He scoffs. "There you go, lying again. You lied to me about your virginity, about your past life, about this fucking affair. Hell, who even are you?"
"Wesley, I'm sorry." He stirs as I sit back down. Disgusted by the sight of me, he stands up and takes my place pacing the floor.
"And now you're pregnant."
"Yes, I am."
"I think you should abort it." He suggests, stepping in front of me. My jaw drops as I stand up, facing him.
"No, it's an innocent baby. I'm not going to kill it." I insist, surprised that he would even think of something like that.
"Youre my fucking wife! Not his! And that's not my goddamn baby! I fucking hate you, do you know that? You do this to me, Nova. Youre the one who makes me so fucked up. I loved you, I cared for you. I gave you everything and you threw it down the toilet!" He shouts at me, grabbing my wrist to pull me in closer to him. I snatch it away and sit back down on the couch, anger nestling in my bones.
"You don't own me! I am free to make my own decisions! Im sorry, and I know I made a mistake but you have no right to speak of me as if I'm your property!" I snap at him, watching as his body stills. He slowly turns towards me and stares down at my rigid body. His gaze is painfully disheartening, and I know I need to do it now. We are too far deep into this conversation to avoid it.
"I'm pregnant, Wesley. This baby is mine and I'm going to have it," I make sure to keep eye contact with my husband. "I'm in love with him, Wesley." I whisper weakly. Scoffing, he peels his eyes away from me.
"Wow, just what I expected. Youre a fucking whore." He grumbles. Despite the pain his words give me, I push it into the back of my thoughts, trying to ignore his drunken thoughts.
"I think we should get a divorce, and I want custody of Elijah."
"You're fucking kidding me right?" He bellows, shaking the walls of the house. I cling to myself, shielding my body away from him. He laughs.
"I think it's what is best for us. For Elijah, too." I explained to him.
"A divorce? A fucking divorce? You're mine, Nova. No one else's. Those vows I said to you meant forever. You're not leaving me." He insists. I sigh and stand up, making my way to the door.
"I'm done, Wesley. Dustin's lawyers are writing up papers currently. They should be presented to you tomorrow." I whisper, grabbing my keys.
"Where the fuck do you think you're going?"
TW: Sexual Assult
He grabs my hair in a fistful and pulls me back, pressing my body against his chest. I slur under my breath and close my eyes, praying for the best to happen. I just can't let him touch my stomach, I can't lose this baby. I'm already attached and in love with it, it's what I'm living for now.
"You think you can just fucking walk away? Is that what this is?" He clamors in my ear. I can hear his voice shake, and I know he is crying. Why is he crying?
"I love you Nova. I fucking love you. I can't believe you would do this to me." He cries, tightening his grip on my hair. He shoves me into the counter and pushes me on top of it. He releases my hair and flips me around. I stare at him and his tear stained face. His hands slide around my face, forcefully pulling me close to him with a strong grip.
"Why do you do this?" He asks me, pressing his lips into mine. I'm taken aback. I try shoving him away but it doesn't work, he just tightens his grip. My eyes fly open and I squirm to get out of his grasp, but as soon as his lips are off of mine his hand slaps the side of my face.
"You're my wife! Only mine!" He shouts, drunk off of his mind. I scoot away from him, thinking about making a run for the door. I need to get out of here. If I stay any longer or say anything else I can't think of what he will do to me.
I bolt. I slam his arm out of my way and sprint to the door, but I'm already too late. Wesley's arms are wrapped around my small body, crushing me. He slams my face into the door and leans down beside my lips.
"You're not going anywhere." He mutters, grabbing my hair again. He yanks me away from the door and tosses me too the floor. My body creates a loud smacking noise as my skin connects to the hardwoods, but I don't stay like that for long. Wesley walks over to me and kicks me in the side, screaming words I cannot make out. The only thing I think of is my child. The one I am carrying. The one that could possibly die if he kicks me anymore.
I take another blow to the ribs and I'm taken back to senior year of high school. Right before I tried to take my life away from the people I love. My dad, that's who made me who I am today. Strong, but at the same time weak as ever. I can't go against Wesley. I can't do a single thing.
He screams at me, but I don't listen. It's only seconds before he is grabbing my hips and pulling me off the floor. He drags me to the bedroom and tosses me onto the bed. What is he doing to me? Why am I here, on the bed? My stomach writhes in pain and my eyes squint to see Wesley crawling on top of me.
"You're mine!" He screams, slapping my face. He smiles a horrific smile as he stares at the pain he is causing.
"You're mine!" He hits me again.
"All mine!" Another slap.
"You're my wife! You cannot leave me!" There's another slap and my adrenaline finally builds up in my body. I ball my fists up and slam them into his chest, trying my hardest to push his ass away. He's too big for me to compete against.
He grabs my wrists and holds them away from his body. I feel the blood rush away from my fingers as his intense grip cuts off the circulation to my palm. His hands leave my wrists and as I thrash around, he grabs the bottom of my black dress and rips it off. I'm exposed, only wearing bras and panties. I thrash around, attempting to kick and punch him, but he just blocks my every movement.
"Don't touch me!" I scream as his hands wrap around my back, peeling my bra off. His hands slide down my body and he grabs my underwear and takes those off too. I won't stop fighting him, but he's too strong. He always has been. Fuck I just want this to stop. If I could have ran faster, maybe I would have gotten away quicker.
"Stop fighting me, Nova!" He bellows, slamming his fist into the bed beside me. I flinch and stop struggling as he shrugs his pants off. I can't stop him. I can't get away from this monster. Consternation settles into my bones as I watch Wesley climb on top of me. He grabs my wrists to restrain me as I start to fight again.
Once I notice what he is going to do to me, I don't stop fighting. My legs are kicking , trying to break free in any way possible. I turn my head so I don't have to look at him as my wrists start to feel like they are breaking. Pain scratches throughout my body, and I know I cannot stop it. I'm weak. I can't fight him off. What's going to happen to me? What's he doing?
My naked body is exposed to his mercy, allowing him to do whatever he wants. And that's exactly what he does. I feel his erection press into me and I scream as his hips start pounding into me. I scream as loud as I can, hoping that maybe someone will hear me and call 911.
"Shut the fuck up!" He shouts. I start to scream again and his hand wraps around my throat, cutting off my air flow. I can't breathe. I need to breathe. Let me breathe.
"You're mine! Only mine! Do you understand me?" His grip tightens around my throat as his hips pick up the pace. He is slamming himself into me, causing extensive pain that I cannot bear to think of.
"Let...me...go...please..." I gasp out between thrusts. His grunts as he slams himself into me become quieted as I start to lose consciousness. I can't see him anymore, and I can't see what he is doing to me. Maybe that's for the better. Maybe I shouldn't see.
My mind rushes with thoughts as I try to intake a breath. I can still feel Wesley and his painful intrusion. He doesn't stop, and I doubt he ever will.
My baby. What will this do to my baby? My perfect, innocent human that I have already grown to love. The product of mine and Dustin's love.
Dustin. That's what I need to focus on. Think of Dustin. The simple thought always makes me calm down, and hopefully now it can ease my ravaged breaths.
Keep your mind on him, I tell myself. All the times we made love, and how magical it was. Each time that we held hands or kissed or smiled at each other. Each time he said I love you and how I knew he meant it.
I'm tired. I can't move against Wesley anymore. I don't want to give up on my flight, but I know I have too. I'll wear myself out and the more I thrash against his body the more he will tighten his grip. I think of Dustin, and Elijah, and my baby. I relax again, and finally stop fighting.
I keep my eyes closed and feel myself drifting off to sleep. It may not be sleep, I don't know. But sleep sounds better than anything right now. I just want peace. I don't want to be here anymore.
Wesley's hand releases my throat and I hear myself gasp for air. My back arches as I take another breath in, my Wesley slams me back down onto the bed. The area between my legs throbs with pain, unlike anything else I have felt before.
"I can't believe you would do this to me, Nova," He pauses and grunts, slamming himself into me. "You did this." He pounds into me again. "You made me this way."
I work up the energy to punch him again, this time in the face. He pulls himself out of me and starts screaming unrecognizable words. I can't hear him and I choose not to. I need to protect myself and the baby I am carrying.
"Fuck you Wesley! I am not yours!" I scream, hitting him again. I scoot away and he grabs my fragile, naked body. He throws me onto the ground, slurring at me as I crash to the floor for the second time tonight. I hit my head on the edge of the bedside table, a strand of cuss words falling out of my mouth.
"I fucking hate you! You're a worthless piece of shit! You're a whore!" He shouts, climbing out of the bed after me. I scramble to the corner behind me, not like that is going to do me any good. His words don't bother me. I've heard them time and time again and now they don't affect me. Though I also know what he is saying is wrong.
"You're the piece of shit! You don't care about me or your goddamn son!" I yell at him, my tears streaming down my face from the pain. I move my legs to get away from him and I wince.
"I'm fucking done with you." He walks into the bathroom and slams the door behind him.
This is my chance. I can bolt now and get away. I look down and remember that I am naked. Where are my clothes? I try to stand up but immediately cripple back down to the floor. I can't move. My entire body writhes in pain.
What is my other option? What else do I have? I look around the room for an object to protect myself. I can grab the lamp and hit him, but he'll probably block my movements. There's nothing else. Nothing at all.
I open the drawer to see if there is something else. And then my eyes land on it. The black metal rests against the wooden drawer, and just looking at it makes my body cold. His gun. I can use his gun.
I grab it just in time for him to walk back into the bedroom. When I was in high school, Dennis Johnson taught me how to shoot, and currently I am grateful for it. I pull the slide back, locking a bullet in the chamber. Wesley turns at the sound of the metal clicking against itself.
"Nova?"
"Don't fucking move." I threaten. His lips curl up into a smile and he laughs. A loud chuckle fills my ears and I flinch at the sound. He's crazy. He's demonic even.
"You're not going to shoot me, Nova." He whispers, face relaxing. I stay silent.
"You don't have the balls baby," He walks towards me and I hold the gun up, aiming it at his chest. "If you're going to shoot me, then do it." He tempts. I close my eyes and he stands in front of me, slowly making his way towards my body.
"Give me the gun." He urges, holding out his hand. He touches the metal and I tighten my grip.
"Give me the fucking gun!" Shouting, he takes his hand away from the slide and slaps me with it. I don't flinch when I press the gun to his chest and pull the trigger.
The loud bang rings through my ears, piercing my every sense of hearing. I close my eyes as I hear his body clamor to the floor. The deadweight of his body collapses, and I'm terrified to open my eyes.
What did I do? Did I just shoot him? Is he dead? Am I safe? Millions of questions rush through my head as I open my eyes. His body lies in front of me, lifeless. He doesn't breathe, does not move. He is still. Blood pours from his chest and onto the floor.
I scramble for my phone that is on the floor. I look at the time. It's one in the morning, and there's only one person I can call. Hopefully, he is still awake.
My body shakes in fear as I listen to the ring of the telephone.
"Hello?" Dustin's voice says calmly through the speaker. I relax, but tense back up again when I see my husband's lifeless body.
My voice trembling, I whisper. "I need you." And with that I hang up and drop the phone to the floor, letting the tears pour out of my eyes.