In some ways, they had everything they ever wanted – free lives, happiness, love, fame, mansion in the country to get away with, a home and a marriage. But every time the curtain fell, they took a bow. What a great show; a great pretense, but could they be blamed if they too were victims? Each night, they cobbled together with wine, drink themselves dry of their loss and of their victory. The things they only wished before, they had those now. They walked alone in the woods; spent some whole nights awake, dragging chairs together to watch documentaries, eating ice cream in their car to avoid the mosquitoes. On some days, they would find themselves on a motel resto, knees touched under the table and then their whole world would spin.
Who needed drugs when you had a lover who got you high? Who needed it when you had a life of secrets? Cocaine be damned, they had each other and they made each other feel so protected. And safe. And cozy, and warm. Comfortable. And swear to all gods, it's great.
Sandra gave a sly grin, so darling and regal in her white strapless Chanel wedding gown, she reached for Cate's hand, "... I feel so drunk the moment our lips let loose. Tipsy whenever you touch the most sensitive spots on my body. Feeling so drowsy just by looking at your beautiful face. And when I kiss you, it doesn't feel like fireworks in the night sky, it doesn't feel like a delightful symphonies. It feels like a million secrets; it feels like tequila and home. In front of this million people, I vow to love you always and forever."
Cate took a deep breath. The hair hanging by her shoulders was sleek and it complimented her white Armani tuxedo, "All my life, I felt sober. But in that after- party, I knew that I would break my sobriety. You, Sandra Annette Bullock, is stronger than tequila and I say that with full respect. But although you're strong, I vow to hold you and love you in the days when you're not. I vow to always be with you, in happy days and not and I vow to always be your knight in shining armour. We have come a long way, my love, and I still have a lot to say, but I really cannot wait for the priest to pronounce us as wives, so I'll cut this off. Besides, we still have a forever to go. I love you and I will always do."
And when their cherry-tinted lips exchanged I dos, the priest smiled, "I now pronounce you, wife and wife. You may now kiss each other."
With full smiles on their faces, Cate slowly took the veil off her wife's face, and with a grin, she pulled her through the waist and kissed her in front of all the people inside the church and around the globe watching.
There were countless lights hanging up in the air, flickering and shining like an after sunglow on a misty evening. Thousands of lanterns swinging side by side through the night's wind breeze. The place was filled with love and flowers on each corner; tables had been decorated and in front, there stood Cate and Sandra. The night was splendidly beautiful; the presence of their friends made everything else even more magnificent than it already was.
"And I hope that somehow, you all understand my speech because I really am so drunk right now." Everyone laughed, "Once again, good evening everyone." Julia raised her glass as she stood beside the newlyweds, "And a very beautiful evening to our newlyweds! I wish you a forever and best wishes!" She ended her speech as she tossed the two a wink.
Jen stood up as she gave assistance to Julia who was wobbling her way back to the table which made everybody laugh. Cate shook her head as she watched their friend, but she was stunned when she saw Sandra getting up and everyone else cheering as her wife took the spot where Julia had been.
"Hi everyone." Sandra started as she stood in front, "And hi to my very beautiful wife." She added and gave Cate a smile, "I want to thank you all for coming and I just want to say a few things to my wife. I was thinking about telling her all this privately, but as I sat there," She pointed the abandoned seat beside her wife, "I realized that there are some things needed to be kept, and some things needed to be screamed at for the whole world to know - and this includes my love for Cate." She took a deep breath, took the images of everybody listening to her, "I want you to all know how much I love Cate Blanchett and to the press people who are here tonight, I want you to highlight this speech so everyone else will know how much my wife means to me." The brunette turned her head towards the blonde, eyes smiling and gleaming as if she had seen the most wonderful creature God had created, " Baby, lately life felt too thick. I thought that there would be no end to the agonies and tears. I have spoken too many times about grief and sadness. The madness was so deep I couldn't construct a ladder. I remember that at one point, I just wanted to give everything up." And with that, Sandra's tears started falling, but she smiled and chose to went on, "Losing you was something I couldn't bear. I remember just locking myself in my room and just skipping meals and eating the same dinner for a week, lighting candles and spooning ice cream and watching cars through frosted windows, still, I felt doomed. I have lost you far too many times, and just when I thought that it was over, you came back." Sandra smiled sweetly at the blonde who was crying on her seat too, "Baby, I remember that night, how we exited at a party to talk after almost two years of not seeing each other. I remember that midnight drive. Vividly remember when you pushed me down the pool, how I conned you by asking help and pulled you with me too. I remember us kissing and in that moment, I just knew that I would never be sober again. And I..."
The brunette smiled and was cut off when the blonde stood up and went to snake her arms through her waist. Everyone screamed giddily when Cate pulled her closer as she pressed a sweet kiss on her wife's forehead.
"I love you." The blonde whispered as if no one was watching.
Sandra laughed, "And for a long time, I never really believed in heaven, but the moment you kissed me by the pool, I swear I heard the heavens sigh." She placed an arm around the blonde's neck as she smiled, "I love you and I will never stop."
"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" Chanted by everyone.
With twinkle in their eyes, Cate slowly held Sandra's chin. The stars that wept over the tragedies that crushed their cigarette daydreams and lilac promises gradually smiled because finally, Cate and Sandra were kissing in front of the whole world, hands not tied with cuffs and were free. Sandra tilted her head as she slowly met the blonde's lips and with people watching - enchantment building as they watched the wives in front, Sandra and Cate kissed. When their lips met, the brittled bones in their bodies rebuilt itself and the forgotten dreams emerged. And they stood there kissing, burning and living in that most awaited moment. It was a kiss of a happily ever after, the kiss that sealed the long-hidden scars and the kiss that showed it would be them - Cate and Sandra - for eternity.
-----
The world may end - buildings may collapse and may turn into ashes and dusts and people may die, but their love and loyalty to each other won't. Sandra and Cate have sewn tragedies together - out of their blood, tears and now, they were unstitching every thread, loosing every pull of secrets onto the bed because at last, the heart-wrenching chapters were done. The shadows of their well-kept secrets, the unrequited love, blood, the three glasses of tequila fitted like memories, and it clung like an emptiness worn well, but why would they bother when no one out of the two was alive to tell the murders? After all, fate had been so cruel to them both and they deserved a happy ending, don't they?
The lace dresses were discarded on the floor, dumped and forgotten as they both chose to be confident in their skins. The room was dimmed, with only the lamp illuminating the space, casting their shadows against every wall - kissing and moaning and gasping for air. Sandra was bent against the chair as she faced her vanity mirror, mouth opened and eyes closed out of pleasure as the blonde, naked like she was, stood behind her.
"You're so sexy like this." Cate whispered as she cupped the brunette's breasts from behind while planting open-mouthed kisses onto Sandra's neck down to her right shoulder blade.
She knew that it turned Sandra on. Letting her watch while she would go on to fuck her from behind was a dream came true fantasy and Cate knew that her wife was enjoying every bit of it because of how needy her gasps and moans were and not to mention how wet she was.
"I like watching you..." Sandra was able to speak as she tried to focus her eyes on the mirror, "...watching you fuck me."
The blonde let out a soft chuckle. The look on Sandra's face was a sin - nasty, yet delicious. The heavy breathing of her wife was an indicator that she was so close, but she would not give her that yet. Instead, she turned Sandra around, making the brunette faced her and when Sandra did, the blonde wasted no time; she kissed her ferociously. The kiss was wet and sloppy until Cate pulled Sandra further against her. Hot breath ghosted Sandra's neck. Goosebumps rose on the brunette's skin at the contact, and suddenly she was all too aware of the missing strap-on. Didn't her wife just fucked the hell out of her? Oh, it was already on the floor.
"Want me to fuck you again with my cock, baby?" Cate asked, the smirk toying on her lips as if she was mocking the brunette, "How about with my fingers?"
"You know how much I love your finge -- ugh fuck."
As if to prove a point, Cate's hand left Sandra's hip. Her fingertips disappeared, skating up the curve of Sandra's butt before she pushed two thick digits inside her pussy to roll over her wife's clit. The brunette's head fell back against her shoulder. Cate held her there, fingers sweeping in gentle circles. Sandra could almost feel her smirk as she dipped in and out - playfully spreading the gathering of slick in slow spirals. Tingles ran through the brunette as Cate's fingertips continue to roll her clit. Oh, good Lords, it was damn addicting.
"Oh fuck baby. I'm so close." Sandra moaned, desperate to have her release.
"Hold it. Not yet, love. Not yet."
Unable to help herself, Sandra rode down on the blonde's fingers harder. That cocky smirk was almost tangible against her skin while Cate pressed kisses against the curve of her shoulder. God. A whine left Sandra. Riding her two finge - three, long and sinful fingers felt so fucking good, but it wasn't enough. She needed more.
"God fuck me."
"Are you talking to me or to Him?" Cate laughed, pumping in and out of Sandra even harder than she already did.
"Fuck --- fuck you, me. Fuck me, baby." Sandra's chest started to heave up and down uncontrollably, "Fuck me again with your strap. I need more."
"You want me to open you up? Again?"
"Fill me. Open me, baby." Sandra moaned, "Strap me, please."
And the blonde needed no more words. She dragged her wife towards their bed and pushed her down. She then went back to where her discarded strap was situated, worn it before she went back on the bed. Sandra was waiting for her, legs opened waiting to be filled in and in a snap, Cate was pulling her by the hips and when Sandra breathed, the blonde plunged it into her roughly. The brunette was mad, head spinning as the pleasure started to build up again and her controlled gasps were not helping because her wife was on top of her, breasts riding up and down as Cate continued to fuck her like how she wanted.
"Oh, fucking hell you're so sexy." Sandra muttered as she tried to sit, tried to take Cate's nipple in her mouth while she was still being fucked.
"If only you could see your state right now,.." The blonde pulled the strap out, just enough to tease her wife, "...you'd say you are the sexiest." She added as she plunged into Sandra even deeper which caused the brunette to fall back on the bed.
Cate smirked as she watched her wife squirmed beneath her. Sandra's lips were opened as she left out moans and sinful litanies that God wouldn't want to hear. It was a night of taking back the stolen times and Cate was determined to give Sandra the lost pleasure fate had stolen from her. She continued to pump in and out of the brunette, she carved against her body and soul as if she were Michael Angelo and Sandra called all the gods and recited prayers as if she was holy.
In that midnight, they made love, not as girlfriends or murderers, but as wives.
-----
𝑭𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒔 𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒓...
Underneath their paper-thin smiles and those gentle glances, the bright moon smiled. The lights were flickering as it welcomed the peakest version of the night. Cate blew her car's horn as to alert that they were home. The guard of their mansion opened the gate and Cate drove inside with a smile. Her heart was so full because how could it not? Sandra, her wife, was sitting on the passenger seat and was utterly gorgeous in her black thigh-slitted gown. Up on the dashboard of the car was the golden trophy that Cate, herself, had won.
"And the Oscars goes to... Cate Blanchett!"
She could still hear the saccharine cheers from the people inside the theatre as if they were still inside. Cate smiled as she turned the car's engine off before she turned to look at Sandra.
"What?" The brunette asked, chuckling at her.
"How did I get so blessed?" Cate asked sweetly as she moved an inch to kiss Sandra's forehead before she got out of the car and turned to open the back, "Please get my 4th Oscar, baby!"
Sandra laughed, "And please get my baby, honey!"
When Sandra finally got out of the car, her heart tugged itself seeing her wife smiling at her while carrying their greatest trophy in the world: Casandra. Cate had already pulled their four-year-old daughter out of the backseat and was now sleeping tightly in her arms. The blonde looked so regal in her golden gown, but what made her look perfect was the little blonde girl that she was carrying. The brunette closed the gap as she snaked an arm on the blonde's waist.
"She must be so tired." Cate whispered, pressing a kiss on their daughter's head.
"She must be. She was screaming on my lap when you went to the stage to get your award." Sandra replied as she looked at their kid.
"How about you, baby?" Cate asked.
The brunette shook her head, "Actually, after we tuck Casandra in, I want us to celebrate." She suggested and tip-toed to give a peck on the blonde's lips, "Like that?"
"I love it." Cate mumbled, "Just the two of us on the balcony?"
"Yes and with..." Sandra paused before she mouthed "...sex."
"And tequila?"
"It's midnight tequila, baby."
The midnight was velvety rich and calm; it was as if every single living being in the universe was asleep. The muffled voices of the wind were gone, but the spirit of the air was still there, breezing sweetly as if it was dancing in wonderland. Sandra had already climbed up on the balcony. Her black gown was still wrapped around her body as she stood and waited by the balcony's railing. Cate insisted to put Casandra in bed and so the brunette smiled and waited for her wife to come.
“Let’s get drunk this midnight, talk and kiss so much that our lips burn.”
Sandra smiled as she looked back and saw her wife, still on her gown too, with a bottle of tequila on hand.
"I thought you've went to bed."
Cate laughed and started walking towards the brunette, "And leave you here?" She asked, placing the bottle of tequila on the table beside them before she snaked her hands on the brunette's waist, "Not gonna happen, honey."
Sandra breathed as she inched closer, placing her hands around her wife's neck as she left out another gentle sigh, "Congrats, baby." She whispered sweetly, as if pronouncing a promise, "I am the proudest human in the whole wide world for having a 4th-time Oscar winner wife."
"No, love." Cate jested as she held Sandra's chin delicately, "I am the proudest because Sandra Bullock is my wife. I would forever be honored to be your wife, baby."
People saw love in soft filters, in giggles and in laughters, but Cate and Sandra? They saw love in darkness, in voids, in cruel mist; they saw love in heartbreaks and in tears, but they persevered; in the name of each other's love, they were willing to dip their hands in blood. But oh God, their kiss have turned their secrets to poetry; their fingers wrote a symphony on each other's bare soul, and now they were tasting honey and milk; gone were the days of tears and sobs.
"We did it." Sandra spoke softly as she stared at Cate's gleaming eyes, "We did it, baby." She mumbled as her mind went through all the pages of their story.
"Yes." The blonde smiled as she held Sandra's hips tightly, "And if I were to do everything all over again just to be with you freely, I will."
They craved a love that would drown all of them completely - to be breathless, to gasp and to be helpless. And now, they were having all the wishes that they had before. Cate smiled at her wife as she looked into the brunette's eyes. The warmth. The longing. The love. She couldn't ask for anything more because at last, they were free and were living their best life. The blonde knew that God knew their secrets and if heaven was indeed real, she too, knew that the gates of it would be closed for them. But she did it for Sandra and Sandra did it for her, and she had no regrets. As she looked into Sandra's eyes and as she felt the pleasure of having the woman she loved, she was ready to face hell.
"I love you." The brunette whispered, she let her hands moved to caress the back of Cate's neck, "I love you so damn much and I don't regret a single thing of what I did."
Cate smiled as she took Sandra's palm and kissed it softly, "If God would see you right now, He would cry for your forgiveness and if satan would ever see you, he would kneel, he would worship you, kiss your feet and repent."
In that midnight, finally, their hearts weren't cying anymore. With bliss in their hearts, they drank tequila, danced under the beaming moon and made love. Cate and Sandra - they were each other's sin and they were willing to commit each other all over again. And Cate Blanchett was right; if the devil was to ever see Sandra, he would kneel to kiss her feet and repent.
***