*Leighton's POV*
I know Sam heard me, and now I was internally freaking out.
Would he say something to me? Does he care? Would he tell Nate?
He raised an eyebrow at me before opening the front door and walking inside, Kat and I standing off to the side.
My chest felt like it was going to burst with how fast my heart was racing right now
Kat was staring at me with a knowing look, trying to mask her surprise as they passed, but once they walked past us, she smacked my arm with her eyes widened and her mouth open.
Maybe I shouldn't have said anything...
We walked inside and I grabbed a water bottle before heading up towards my room, needing to unpack the box I left when I heard Sam call out "Don't you want to hang out with us?" He asked, standing in the hallway so he could see me on the stairs.
"I want to go rest before we leave" I told him and Sam nodded, going to find the others.
Thank god.
I sat on the floor, hunched over the box I had half ass packed last night, pulling some stuff back out, thoughts filling my head about the situation that just happened.
Would he say something?
It wasn't until I heard someone ask "Hey, are you okay?" that I noticed I had tears falling down my cheeks.
I cursed at myself. I really thought the constant crying was over with.
That was one thing I was hating about pregnancy so far. I usually was so rational and thought things through, but ever since I became pregnant, I've become over dramatic, and I cry every two seconds. It was honestly starting to piss me off and I'm sure others weren't enjoying it either, which made me feel insanely insecure around them.
I nodded, wiping my tears and glancing up towards Kat.
Kat helped me put some stuff away, both of us not saying a word.
Was she going to talk to me about what I stupidly asked her? I really wanted to get this awkward interaction over with...
"Are you mad at me?"
"Why would I be mad at you?"
"For asking if Nate had a girlfriend?" I bit my bottom lip, trying to figure out what her reaction would be.
"Oh! No, I'm not mad. I'm a little confused. Why? Do you like him?"
"It might just be my hormones talking" I blushed, feeling the familiar tingle overcome my body, with no way to help it go away.
"What?" She laughed, making me blush harder, not wanting to confess the thoughts in my head.
"I'm kind of horny" I spoke softly, hiding my face as I heard her cackle and then cough, sputtering.
"Dude don't go after Nate if you just want sex. Sam and Colby would be pissed" She chuckled, and I groaned, flopping back against my mattress.
"It's not my fault I'm single and pregnant, and he's hot as fuck!" I whined, feeling sexually frustrated.
It's been a while... and pregnancy hormones were no joke...
I was now sitting upright on my bed, tracing the rose tattoo on my hand as I continued to think about my baby.
The idea of this baby coming, especially since I'm single and broke, made me spiral down a rabbit hole of everything I needed to start doing to prepare. First step was I needed to save up to afford necessities and I was feeling extremely overwhelmed. I pulled out my phone and searched for symptoms of the first trimester, reading through a couple articles.
"Kat?"
"Hm?"
"Do you think my baby's okay?" I asked and her head snapped up from her own phone and her forehead wrinkled a little bit.
"What? Why do you ask?"
"Well, I googled normal symptoms of trimester one and I only have a few. I don't have a lot of the common ones. I don't have constant nausea, I get nausea from smells, but not like the constant ill feeling where I have to use remedies to help it. I don't have food cravings. Sure, things sound good, but it's not like I'm in desperate need of them. I have the fatigue, but it isn't where I'm short of breath. My boobs aren't sore. I have back aches, but that isn't listed under the first trimester. Apparently, you're supposed to always be hungry, because you're growing a baby, but I don't think I am? Like everything I'm reading, isn't to the extreme people say it should be" I spoke, feeling flustered at the idea of something being wrong.
"Leigh, pregnancies are like snowflakes. They all look the same but each one is unique in their own ways. You're not going to match every single thing someone said they had. Your doctor isn't concerned, so you shouldn't be either"
"But I haven't even had the brown spotting people say you get at the start because of the uterus stretching or whatever" I whined, more tears welling up in my eyes as I continued to think about something being wrong with either me, or my baby.
Gabe would be crushed...
"Leigh, calm down! I'm sure not everyone gets that. Stop listening to doctor google and Tumblr moms. I'm sure your baby is okay. If something was wrong, your doctor would've said something."
"But a lot of people are saying they found out at 5 weeks, and I didn't till like 8! They're all saying all these things were happening, so they took a test and knew, how come it took me so long!?" I started to sob, the insecure feeling only getting stronger.
"Leigh, some people go their whole pregnancy and don't know! Please stop crying" Kat begged as I wiped tears off my face. "It's not good to get this stressed out when you're pregnant. Why don't you bring it up when you see your doctor next?" She suggested and before I replied I felt my stomach turn. I quickly got up, ripping my sweatshirt off and running into the bathroom. I threw up and then stood up, reaching for my toothbrush, when I noticed my chest quickly puffing in and out. I stared at my stomach while I brushed my teeth, and I couldn't help but wonder why my stomach hasn't popped yet. Sure, they say you normally pop in the second trimester, but why did every article I read say they popped earlier?
I fell to the floor, crying as my brain told me I was making it up. That my baby didn't exist or that my baby died. I didn't know I was in complete hysterics until everyone was in the bathroom, including the guy I found attractive.
Great.
I was getting flashbacks to when I was crying over how Aaliyah wouldn't be coming over to my first night here, and that only made me cry harder, if that was even possible.
"What the hell happened?" Colby asked and I could hear Kat's voice, but I had no idea what she was saying.
I felt someone tapping my face, but I couldn't focus.
"Leigh! Calm down!" Kat begged.
"Okay wait!" Someone yelled as my head felt heavy.
"Leighton, look at me!" I heard Colby say and when I glanced up, my vision was blurred but I could see his figure in front of me, sitting down. "Focus on me, guys get out" I heard him say before I covered my face with my hands. I was still breathing really hard when I heard the bathroom door shut.
"Leighton, find my voice, look at me" Colby told me softly and I uncovered my face, rubbing my eyes to try and get rid of the blur effect.
"Can you hear me?" He asked and I nodded.
"Take my hand. It's right out in front of you, reach your hand out and I'll take your hand" He said and I unclenched my fist, holding my hand in the air. I felt his hand intertwined with mine and he brought my hand up to his chest. "Take your hand and place it on your heart. Breathe with me slowly. Match our heartbeats'' Colby said and we both inhaled, and I felt our chests rise at the same time and then fall.
We sat there for a minute, just breathing until my vision cleared and I could make out Colby's face in front of me.
I was still crying, but he wasn't as blurry anymore.
"Thank you" I whispered, and he nodded.
"Do you want a hug, or do you want to be left alone? Are you okay? Do you need to go to the hospital? Are you going to pass out? Why were you having a panic attack?" he asked, and I wiped more tears, taking a deep breath so I could answer him.
"I'm okay, and I guess I'll take a hug" I propped myself forward and fell a little into his chest, his arms wrapping around my back as my arms went around his neck.
I breathed again, trying to calm down before pulling away and sitting back down against the shower/tub combo.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked and I shook my head, rubbing my nose. "I like your tattoos" he said, catching me off guard.
"Thanks" I replied softly, glancing down at my arm.
"Do you want to tell me about them?" He asked and I narrowed my eyes a little, confused.
What was he doing?
"Um, sure... I started the process of this sleeve a couple years ago. I knew I wanted one and I wanted to do it when I was young enough, that way I could always appreciate it before my skin got all wrinkly" I giggled, turning my arm around to look at the ink work.
"I think it looks sick. I'm actually working on one of my own. I got a way to go though" he said, showing his arm that only had a couple pieces on it.
We sat in the bathroom for so long, talking about our tattoos, that Sam ended up knocking on the door asking if we were okay.
Colby opened the bathroom door, and walked past Sam, leaving both of us confused.
"Hey, are you okay? You've been in here for like half an hour. We are ordering food, are you hungry?" He asked and I nodded, holding my hand out for him to take, helping me up.
"I got overwhelmed about my pregnancy, I'm okay now. Colby helped, and before you ask, no I haven't told him yet. What were you guys thinking about for dinner? Please don't say pizza" I pleaded, following Sam out of the bathroom.
"Um, I think Nate wants our favorite pizza place. You and Katrina could go out and get something on us?" Sam suggested and I nodded, "The smell of Pizza makes the baby try and murder me" I groaned, Sam making a "yikes" face at me.
We walked downstairs and I found Katrina sitting on the couch on her phone. "Do you want to go get food with me?" I asked, ignoring Nate's stare.
"Sure!" She cheered, standing up.
Once Kat and I were in the car, driving to IHop, since their pancakes sounded amazing right now, Kat asked what Colby did to help me and I told her about how he helped me breathe and then sat with me and talked for a while before Sam came to get us.
"Colby used to have panic attacks" she said, focusing on driving.
"Oh? That makes sense I guess"
"When he and Sam used to do a lot more illegal exploration, he would get them sometimes when things would go wrong. He's gotten better over the years though" She explained and I stayed quiet, trying to imagine such a rough and tough person having panic attacks. "Are you still down to go to the arcade?" She asked and I felt my heart drop.
Oh yeah, that.
"Um... do you think they'd mind if I just let them have some boy time? I'm really tired. I might go visit my family since my mom's having surgery soon. I want to tell her I'm pregnant in case something goes wrong" I spoke softly, concern filling my thoughts.
I was honestly terrified of my mom having this cancer surgery. I know she's had it before, but her risks were higher now that she was older.
Kat and I ate dinner in the restaurant, and then went back home so I could pack a bag.
Everyone was too busy chit chatting to notice me slipping out the door with my backpack.
I arrived at my parents' house and let myself in with the spare key. I could hear commotion in the kitchen, so I set down my bag and walked in.
Everyone was sitting at the table eating dinner.
"Hey baby!" My mom smiled, standing up and coming over to hug me.
"Hi mom, how are you feeling?" I asked, hugging her tightly before pulling away.
"I've been better, getting ready for my surgery. I didn't know you were coming; I could've made you up a plate!" She motioned towards the table where my family was eating spaghetti.
"I just had pancakes with my friend, I'm all good" I gave her a big smile before sitting down next to Landon and my dad.
"How are you doing?" My dad asked and I shrugged, telling him I was okay.
I listened to Lexi complain about some school assignment, whilst Landon picked around his food.
"What are you doing?" I chuckled, eyeing my brother.
"Mom put gross chunky tomatoes in the sauce" He showed me, and I rolled my eyes, focusing back on my mother who was intently listening to my sister vent.
I kept quiet, just trying to take in this family time before my mother went into surgery. I tried to take a picture with my mind of her smiling. Her laugh was music to my ears, and I hoped I never lost it.
"You started your new job didn't you Leigh? How is that going?" My dad asked and I nodded, telling him all about my first day.
My dad put Landon, Lexi and I on dish duty whilst he helped my mom go take her medication, and I never hated him more.
There was nothing worse than doing dishes with your siblings. I honestly would rather do them alone than with these assholes, but I'd never admit that to them because then they'd actually leave me alone to clean up a dinner I didn't even eat at.
I felt something cold hit my back making me scream, as I quickly turned around, ready to slap someone. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?" I yelled and Lexi was giggling whilst Landon rolled his eyes, drying a pot. "You're such a bitch!" I yelled, glaring at my little sister.
"You're such a bitch" She mocked and just as I was about to slap her, my dad walked in and cleared his throat, giving us a disapproving gaze
"You may be 20, but that doesn't mean I want you swearing in my house. As for you Lexi, apologize to your sister" My dad spoke in his parenting tone and I smirked, crossing my arms as I stared at my sister.
~
I was currenting standing in my mother's bedroom, getting mentally prepared to drop a huge bombshell right before her big day.
I've honestly never been more afraid than I was right now.
My mother was currently reading up on some sort of medical thing whilst I was stewing in my own brain about how in the world I was going to tell my mother I was pregnant.
I wanted it to go well so badly.
My father wasn't necessarily pleased when he found out, but then again, I was sort of admitted into the hospital for passing out when he found out so...
"Hey mom? Can I tell you something? Promise me you won't be mad?" I spoke quietly, catching her attention.
"No promises, but okay?" She said with an extremely unsure tone, almost eyeing me up.
"You're going to be a grandma" I spoke quickly, and her eyes narrowed a bit.
"Say it again?" She said and I bit my bottom lip, my heart was racing, I felt like I was going to throw up.
"You're going to be a grandma" I repeated, and she just stared at me and I could see her brain processing.
"Huh?"
"You're. Going. To. Be. A. Grandma" I spoke slower, and she blinked a couple times for her eyes widened.
"LEIGHTON RAE!" She yelled, startling me.
Oh no
"Are you mad?" I asked quietly, fear creeping in.
"I honestly don't know Leighton. I'm kind of just sitting in disbelief" she said honestly, and I fiddled with my rings as the nerves kept building.
I really don't want her to be upset with me. The last thing I wanted to do was upset my mother who was slowly dying from cancer.
God, I hoped this surgery saved her.
"Who's the father?" She asked and I gnawed on my lip, rocking a little on my feet.
"Gabe" I told her, and she nodded.
"Does he know?" She asked and this time I nodded.
I answered her questions, things from what is your plan, is he helping you pay for the baby, will he be in the baby's life, etc.
"Babies are blessings. You were with him for a long time. It's just kind of... concerning? That you're 20 and pregnant. Not because I don't think you can do it, but because you still have so much life to live still. You're, I hate to say this, but trapped by a baby now" she said and I felt my heart drop.
Was she mad?
I was already scared shitless, and I felt like everything she was starting to unload on me wasn't helping. Maybe that was her point. To make me want to put the baby up for adoption.
Should I?
As good as it felt to sit down and have a heart to heart with my mother, I was still afraid she would be upset with me.
She hasn't given me a clear answer of how she was feeling, and it felt like the longest wait of my life.
She started to ask me about what it was like living with my new roommates and if they knew and how they took the information.
I felt like with every single question she asked, I was only building up even more of her disappointment in me.
"I can't believe I'm going to have my first grandchild. When are you due?" She asked and I smiled softly, thinking about when that day would approach.
"December 5th" I said bluntly, still afraid of her reaction and finally, after what felt like centuries of holding my breath, she gave one.
"Awe! You'll have the sweet little one for Christmas! Oh my god we need to look for cute Christmas outfits!" She squealed, immediately starting to type on her tablet.
"Mom, it's literally May?" I laughed softly, relief flooding over my anxiety. It felt like the best shower of my life.
"It's never too early for Christmas!" She smiled at me, and I rolled my eyes.
She was one of those people.
I was honestly just glad she seemed happy and wasn't yelling at me for getting knocked up. Honestly, whatever brought a smile to her face right now was fine by me, even if that meant looking at Christmas outfits in May for my unborn child.
I laid in bed next to my mom, looking at all the cute Christmas outfits, when someone knocked on the door.
In walked my brother Logan, surprising me.
Why wasn't he at home with his wife?
"Sup mom!" Logan spoke in a funny voice making us laugh.
He plopped down in my parent's bed, making me yell at him for landing on my foot.
"Watch it Oompa Loompa!" I yelled, kicking him.
"I'm not orange!" He defended himself and I made a weird face, thinking about how odd that's what he cared about from my name calling.
"No, but you're fat!" I joked and he gasped and then lifted up his shirt to show his abs. I flipped him off and he smirked, a mischievous gleam in his eyes.
"I'm bringing sexy back, whew!" He shrieked and my mom smacked him making me cackle.
"Save it for your own bedroom" I gagged, and my mom hit us both. "Both of you knock it off or get out" She scolded and I giggled before turning my attention back towards Logan, "I told mom about the baby, and now she's obsessing over finding the baby a Christmas outfit since my due date is in December"
"You literally have 7 months to go" He laughed, pointing out and my mom glared at him.
"Thank you!" I shouted and mom rolled her eyes, scoffing "It's my first grandbaby! If I'm dying tomorrow, I at least want to know what their Christmas outfit will be. I wish we knew it's gender" she said, scrolling through Amazon's baby section.
"I'm saying this now, Cynthia and I are not ready for a baby! Don't start asking!" he eyed my mother and she smirked at him, raising an eyebrow.
We were all sitting in her room when my dad walked in, untucking his shirt from his pants and heading towards the bathroom.
Logan and I made a weird face at each other and then started laughing.
~
I was currently sitting in my sister's bedroom, helping her with an essay when my phone rang.
I pulled it out and it read that Sam was calling me on FaceTime.
I answered it whilst Lexi texted Macy, ignoring her homework.
"Hey! Are you joining us tonight?" Sam asked and I could hear some sort of balls clinking against metal behind him.
"I'm at my parents' house right now" I said nonchalantly, and I watched confusion cover his facial features before he masked it with an unbothered expression.
"Oh? Okay, well are you coming home tonight?" He asked and I shrugged, sighing. "Hey, you good?" Sam questioned, his eyes narrowing a little as his tone was filled with worry.
Fuck he was onto me.
Why couldn't he just mind his own business?
I could hear Logan's dumb voice in my head going "Because he cares about you" only making me pissed off.
More people to worry about. Great.
"I think I'm going to sleep here tonight, have fun with your guys' friend!"
Sam and I bid our goodbyes and I leaned against Lexi's bed, grabbing her laptop to read her essay.
"Dude, this is due tomorrow! Stop texting if you want my help" I smacked Lexi's phone out of her hand, already preparing to tune out her complaints.
I was sitting on the floor helping Lexi research for her paper when the door opened and in walked Logan and Landon, disrupting us.
I already knew they had only poisoned intentions, already adding to my aggravation.
Why couldn't they just go wrestle in the living room like normal brothers?
"What do you losers want? Gonna come help Lexi try and get an A?" I asked and Logan made a "hell no" face and plopped down on her bed, causing us both to groan at the bed moving.
"Dude! You suck!" I yelled; my hair being pulled by something.
"I'm not the one who's pregnant" He retaliated, and I gasped "Ew! Fuck off Logan" I glared at him, looking back at the laptop in front of me.
Landon and Logan were telling Lexi a story from earlier today, which was annoying me since I was basically left to finish this essay for her. I already graduated High School, she's lucky I'm even helping her in the first place, let alone to have the audacity to leave me to do it all alone.
"Lexi I'm not doing your schoolwork for you, can someone grab my phone?" I asked since I could hear my phone ringing and I heard Logan go "Hello" making me grumble to myself.
Great. Who was he going to bug now?
I could hear Kat ask who he was making me sigh.
"Hey Kat!" I called out and I heard her say "hey" then ask who my brother was.
Before I even had time to get my pregnant ass off the floor, Logan was making fun of me to her.
"You're such a dick!" I yelled, handing Lexi's laptop back and kneeling on the floor to grab my phone, but he rolled over, so he was against the wall to keep it away from me.
"It's not nice to fuck with the pregnant girl! Give me my phone dumbass!" I yelled, climbing on top of his back and digging my fingers into his ribs making him yell.
"What the hell is going on in here?" I heard my dad ask and Landon smirked to himself whilst I kept my fingers in my brothers' ribs.
"LOGAN STOLE MY PHONE!" I yelled, hitting the back of his head making him groan as I quickly swiped my phone away.
"You guys are adults, knock it off!" He scolded before turning back to the hallway.
I walked downstairs to the quiet living room, seeing Kat look confused.
"You good?" She asked and I nodded, brushing my hair out of my face.
"Just my brother being a jerk" I grumbled.
I talked with Kat for a while, seeing the clock read 8:47pm on my phone.
"Why aren't you hanging out at the arcade?" I asked, taking notice she was sitting in the car next to Colby and I thanked god she had headphones in.
I wasn't even going to question why, I was just glad he didn't hear me.
"It closed" She said
~
I wasn't entirely sure how it happened, but I was now waiting for Sam, Colby, Nate, Katrina and Aaliyah to come over to my parents' house.
Aaliyah and I decided we would have our talk after my mom's surgery and I would be lying to you if I said I wasn't excited to see her.
I loved her and I hated that I created this rift between us.
Lexi was having my dad proofread her essay, and I was going to be livid if he complained about it since I basically wrote the entire thing whilst Lexi played on her phone.
I was currently laying on the couch and Landon was showing me pictures of his boyfriend. "I'm too pregnant to get up, someone go get the door. Colby doesn't know I'm pregnant, don't tell him! He has dark hair and tattoos!" I told everyone; afraid they'd spill the beans and ruin everything.
"You don't even look pregnant, shut up Leigh" Logan grumbled and I flipped him off.
Landon let everyone in, and I got up off the couch, walking over to them.
"What was the point of me getting the door if you were going to get up anyway?"
"Welcome to my home, this is my family" I motioned towards the living room where everyone was gathered, giving a small smile.
"Here I'll tell names, this is my younger brother Landon and his twin sister Lexi, that is my older brother Logan, my mom and Dad. This is Katrina, she likes to be called Kat, this is her boyfriend Sam. This is Colby and this is Sam and Colby's friend Nate" I pointed to everyone. "Aaliyah is on her way, she texted me saying she was bringing River" I told my mom and she nodded.
Aaliyah wanted to come hang out with my mom before her surgery tomorrow, since she was like a mom to her as well.
"Come in, come in!" I motioned, wanting them to feel more comfortable.
I watched them all slip off their shoes before standing awkwardly in the entrance. "Did you guys get your pizza?" I asked, walking back towards the big sectional. I plopped back down in the corner of the cough reaching for my blanket as they informed me they ate. "Come sit down! We don't bite!" I patted the sofa and Kat sat down next to me, sharing the blanket with me.
Landon was talking with Sam and Nate whilst Lexi was showing Colby something she learned when the doorbell rang.
"IT'S OPEN!" I shouted, not wanting to get up.
I honestly just wanted to nap, but I guess now I was entertaining everyone and their grandmother.
"Sup losers!" We heard Aaliyah yell and I grinned, excited to see my best friend.
"I didn't know we were taking in strays" My dad joked making us laugh as he gave Aaliyah a quick hug, saying hello. "Sup pops!" Aaliyah patted my dad's back before letting River interact with my dad.
"I think this is the first time you've brought River over in ages" My mom told Aaliyah who sat down next to me on the ottoman making me groan and kick her butt, literally.
It felt weird having my new roommates/friends hanging out in my home with my family. I haven't had this many people in my house since my relatives came from Minnesota.
I was mid conversation with Katrina and Nate when Colby asked where the bathroom was, and of course Kat volunteered me out of my whole family to show him.
I mean, it's not like it wasn't my house or anything...
I held my hand out and Colby helped me up as I pushed off Aaliyah's shoulder, trying to get up, the couch basically eating me. My foot got stuck in the blanket, sending me flying towards the floor.
Colby quickly tried to grab me, but my hands touched the floor, propping myself up from faceplanting.
I groaned, thinking about how embarrassing this was. Many people were laughing, a few were concerned.
I got up and said I was fine, leading Colby to where the bathroom was and whilst I was walking back, I could hear everyone laughing together, making me feel left out.
I could feel the tears well up in my eyes and I groaned, cursing at the hormones.
This baby better be the most perfect angel on earth for how often it was making me cry,
I didn't realize I had stopped walking until Colby left the bathroom and asked if I was okay. I nodded and walked him back to the family room before telling everyone I would be back. When I walked upstairs, I slipped on a baggy shirt to cover some of the bloating I was feeling, insecurities about people staring at my stomach made me hyper aware of my surroundings, and then I found some loose yet fitted sweatpants, smiling at the cuff that closed in on my ankle, making it so I wouldn't trip on the clothing.
I entered the art room and put on some soft calming piano on my dad's computer, reaching for my sketchbook and soft led pencil.
I had no idea how long I was up here as I sketched out a cartoon girl's face and outfit, contemplating if I should finish this on the iPad with an unlimited amount of color selection, or if I wanted to keep it traditional.
When I reached for my iPad, there was a knock on the white fake wooden door, before it opened and in came Lexi and Katrina.
"This is cool" Kat noted and I nodded, agreeing.
"We came up here to ask if you wanted to come watch a scary movie with us? Mom's picking" Lexi asked, and I shook my head, grabbing my apple pencil.
I explained I wanted to spend some time alone, and just calm down my anxiety based around my mom's surgery tomorrow.
Kat and Lexi nodded and then left the room, leaving me alone again.
I wasn't alone for too long before someone else walked in, and out of everyone in my house right now, I can tell you I sure as hell didn't expect it to be Colby.
* * * *
I'm publishing this at 11:41pm on Christmas, which means I made it! haha. This took a while to edit, I hope I didn't miss anything! I'm tired lol - December 25th 2021
Merry Christmas! - December 25th 2021
I'm watching the Villisca Ax Muder House video whilst writing lol - December 25th 2021
I spent a lot of my time today researching pregnancy... merry Christmas? lmao - December 24th 2021
Written on: December 24th, 25th 2021
Published on: December 25th 2021
Republished/Edited: March 22nd 2022
Word Count: 5245