My father pulled into a parking lot that held a building that looked vaguely familiar to me, but it shouldn't be the case because we were too close to the pack.
The pack... I lifted in my seat, and my eyes grew wide with that realization. My heart pounded hard in my chest, and I tried to get to the reason why I thought a pack but couldn't.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get back to the reasoning of a pack... whatever the pack was... and what it meant to me.
"Cass?" my father asked while he looked at me through the rearview mirror. He raised an eyebrow in question, and his eyes had this daunting sad look in them as if he knew why seeing this building affected me so much but prayed that I wouldn't ask him.
I shook my head and rubbed the bridge of my nose when a headache appeared out of nowhere. "It's nothing, Dad," I said. "Really, I'm fine."
I bit back a cringe because it sounded fake even to me. However, I stayed true to my word, even though I knew that my father didn't believe me and the fact that I wasn't fine.
He frowned but didn't push it while he turned his attention back to going to park the car into a spot. He grabbed my mother's hand and squeezed it, and only then did I see that her hands were shaking, from what, I couldn't tell.
Mentally, I shook my head and turned my attention back to the building, and studied the similarity between this one and the one that I had seen in my dreams.
The building had the same frame as the one that I, well she, has been in the past. It was the same brick foundation with wide windows in the front, which were made of a thick glass that couldn't be broken from the outside and even harder from the inside.
There was a black fence that surrounded the whole building from front to back except for the path that led to the front entrance. The gates were tipped with black spikes that I knew had a deadly concoction on them; if someone got cut by it, that would slowly start to poison them.
The roof was made of this silver shingle material that could unfold at the end until it was able to touch the ground and protect its inhabitants from a looming attack, something that I ha-
I shook my head and rubbed the bridge of my nose while I tried to get rid of the headache as the memory tried to take over.
My parents were silent while they looked at each other and then at me, sharing a secret look with each other as if they knew what was happening with me and why I was feeling this way.
The air in the car grew tense and stale with each passing second, and it slowly started to suffocate me, making it harder and harder for me to breathe.
Finally, my father parked the car, and I quickly got out of the car, the need to breathe and get out of the stuffy car winning over all of my other senses.
"Cass!" my parents exclaimed because I didn't wait until my father turned off the car like they had taught me, but I ignored them and closed the door while I took in a lungful of air, filling my lungs with that instead of the stale air that was in the car.
I crouched a little forward and rested my hands on my legs while I breathed in, trying to make sure that I didn't panic or something while my heart pounded like a runaway train. I could still feel as if the world was closing in on me, something that I hated and didn't like.
Goddess, please don't let me have a panic attack, I prayed and closed my eyes while I focused on my breathing. Please, I don't want them to see me like this.
Someone placed their hand on my back, and I could tell that it was my mother because of her gentle touch. She rubbed my back and waited while I took a deep breath and tried to calm my nerves.
I leaned against my mother's touch and closed my eyes while I breathed, and slowly but surely, the panic attack disappeared before it seized my senses and was the only thing that I could think about.
"Feel better?" my mother asked when my breathing became normal and not as labored, and I slowly nodded. Concern filled her voice while she looked at me, waiting for me to stand up and look at her. "Are you ok?"
I wanted to nod but shook my head, no, instead. "No, Ma'am," I admitted finally. I opened my mouth to tell her what was happening to me, but no sound came out.
I closed my mouth and tried again but still couldn't come up with the words to tell her what was wrong.
"Cass?" my mother asked. Gently, she reached over and took my cheek into her hand, and lifted my face until I was staring at her in the eyes. My mother's whole face was frowning while she looked at me, worry filling her eyes as she tried to find the secrets that my face covered. "What is it, Dear?" she asked softly.
I smiled sadly and shook my head, deciding that I would have to tell her later, especially since I knew that I wouldn't be able to get my words out. "It's... nothing to worry about for right now, Mom," I said instead, grateful that my voice didn't break.
I cleared my throat and looked away, not wanting to see the dark forest that was her eyes. I didn't like looking at them because I knew that it meant she was worried or mad and not the clear jades that happened when she was happy.
"Cassidy," my mother warned, and I cringed at the mother tone she used on me. "What is it?"
I shook my head, and tears pricked the edge of my vision, but I didn't cry. I was frustrated and tired and upset, and all I wanted to do was blurt out everything that was happening to me and how I was feeling, but I knew that it wasn't time.
I hadn't been claimed...
I hadn't had the process of becoming her, not accepting the fact that I was different than my parents, different in a way that I didn't understand, especially because I didn't look like either of them even when I was born.
"Cas-"
"I can't say, Mom," I snapped, interrupting her. I looked at her through my tears, and I knew that my eyes had changed colors because of her tight set jaw that normally happened when they did.
I took a deep breath and let it out with a soft growl, barely loud enough for her to hear, and shook my head. "I'm sorry," I said, finally, when I was able to "fully" relax and opened my eyes to look at her. "I just..." I grimaced and shook my head, not able to finish my sentence.
My mother pressed her lips into a thin line and slowly nodded. Concern filled her eyes while she looked at me, and I could tell that she was still trying to see what was going on with me, even though a part of her already knew.
Finally, she offered me a small smile and opened her arms, and I walked into her waiting embrace and let her wrap her arms around me, making me feel warm and comforted.
I closed my eyes and buried my face into the bridge of her neck, and took in her scent. I didn't care that I had to lean down a bit to hug her while I sought her comfort because that was the best way that she could comfort me.
"Can you promise me something?" my mother asked, her voice soft and barely loud enough for my keen hearing to hear her. "Please?"
"What is it, Mom?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. "What do you want me to promise?"
"Promise me that you will never forget that you are my little girl and always will be, no matter what the world throws at you, ok?"
I bit back a snort, and a small smile flickered on my lips. My throat clogged, and a single tear fell from my eye before I cleared my throat and held her closer to me. I didn't say a word to her while I held onto her, scared of what that meant and what it could mean for my future.
"Please, Cass," she begged softly. "Please, promise me."
I cleared my throat and licked my lips to find my voice.
I held onto her closer, making sure that I wouldn't squeeze her tightly. "I promise, Mom," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "I promise."