𝐂𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐆𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐬, 𝐅𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐚
𝐊𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐲𝐚 𝐋𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐚 𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐬
I leaned over on the bed and yanked the covers back. I noticed I was laying here alone for the fifth night in a row. I've barely talked to Dejhari all week and it was always two or three text messages of him saying he loves me and he would see me later and stuff.
I just feel like we aren't connected anymore and honestly, I'm becoming unhappy. He shows me no attention unless we're about to have sex and then when he does come home all he does is sleep and play the game.
I sighed and grabbed my phone from off of the nightstand. I was feeling a little bit sad but it wasn't anything I wasn't used too.
Dejhari's Mom.
Hey. Are you guys coming over for dinner?
Tonight?
Yes.
You forgot didn't you? 😢
No. 😂
I want to come but i don't know if Dejhari will make it but I'll be there.
Ok.
I rolled my eyes and stood out of bed. I made my way towards the bathroom and started my day without Dejhari again. I'm so used to this that it didn't even bother me anymore. It was just like oh well.
Maybe he meant those things he said to me that day. Maybe that's how he really felt about me but at the same time didn't want to let me go. But that would make no sense considering he just told me how much he didn't want to lose me.
Did he lie?
I grabbed the phone and dialed. I needed to get answers and I needed them like right now.
"Hello." She said. "Hold on,"
I held the phone up to my ear and rolled my eyes.
"Get back Ja'Marcus," I heard before smacking of teeth. "Hey Mama, how are you?"
"I'm fine. How are you?" I asked with my head tilted as I brushed my teeth in the mirror.
"I'm well. Figuring out what I'm making for dinner right now. Any suggestions?" She asked, I furrowed my eyebrows. Why would she think I had one? I don't care what we eat.
"Yeah," I replied. "Where's Dejhari? Have you heard from him today?"
"I haven't." She said. "He's not home with you?"
"Um, no." I said with a frown. She knew that Dejhari hadn't been here for a good two weeks now. I know she knew because we were talking about it the day we went to get our toes done so why is she acting so weird?
"Well let me try to call him and Ima call you back." She said before hanging up the phone.
I tilted my head before rolling my eyes at the situation. I couldn't deal with this family. Maybe I need to start living for me. Really locking in on my own stuff and stop falling behind.
I have dreams. I have things that I want to do in life and lately I feel like I'm never gonna get there because I'm setting myself back. I'm so focused on my love life, family life, and drama that I totally forgot that I have to make my own money and get in my own bag.
Don't confuse me though. I still do promo and stuff on Instagram and I still have partnerships and dealings with certain brands but really doing what I want to do as far as life is what I need to be focused on.
Maybe I should use this time away from Dejhari to my advantage.
—————
𝗢𝗡𝗘 𝗬𝗘𝗔𝗥 𝗟𝗔𝗧𝗘𝗥
18,127 likes
itskataleyaa i really thought you loved me.
I sat in my car with a bright smile as I sped down the road. I nodded my head along to the song excited about the lyrics that were playing. Youngboy really has my heart.
"I DONT KNOW WHAT I DID TO YOUUUU! I JUST WANNA SEEEE YOU HAPPY! I HOPE YOU WANNA SEEEEEE ME TOOO!" I sung loudly as I nodded my head along to the song.
"Ugh I love this song." I mumbled.
"I don't industry they choose me as they biggest fool." I sung along as I got off the exit. I was on my way to meet up with Treasure, Demaya, Kianna, and Ja'Meena.
It was going to be weird considering it was going to be at Meena's house. I haven't been there in months so I was nervous about how it would go but I'm sure that I would be alright.
These are my friends and at a point in time, I was around them all the time. Always seeing them. Always laughing and having a bomb ass time so shit should be cool.
I pulled up and parked in the driveway. I sighed and applied some lip gloss before brushing my eyelashes out. I grabbed my purse and got out the car quickly.
As I made my way in, I couldn't help but look around. Her house looked totally different for some reason. And I couldn't help but notice the Chanel by the door.
"Okkk," I spoke. "Chanel at the door bitch."
I heard laughter so I followed it into the living room where everyone was. It was just the girls here which I was very excited for considering I haven't talked and sat down with them since I've been back from Palm Beach.
I moved to Palm Beach with my grandma for a few months to clear my mind. Not only that, but Dejhari was in the middle of something that I wanted no parts in so I had to leave. For my safety and sanity.
"Bitch y'know how shit go." Meena stunted.
I watched as Demaya scrunched her face up and rolled her eyes before laughing. "Hey y'all."
"Hey Mama." Treasure said with a smile.
Nothing ever changed with us. We talked everyday and she knew everything about my everyday life. I did too. We were both doing so well on communicating considering we were away from each other.
Of course, she was sad when I exposed that I was moving away for a while but she understood why I needed to go. She knew things weren't good for me here and she wanted what was best for me regardless of how much she would need me.
She was selfless like that.
"Y'all good and stuff?" I asked sitting down.
"Yeah," They all said.
"I'm just ready to get drunk!" Demaya said. We slapped hands as I laughed because I was on the same timing.
"I thought y'all would never say anything." I said pulling out the patron bottle that I brought from the store out of my purse. I got it as a gift randomly one day.
"Patronnn!" Meena whined as I sat the bottle on the table. Meena acted crazy off of white liquor so she always wanted to drink dark liquor but I act crazy off of dark liquor. It was so weird.
"I can't do Hennessy right now." I said waving my hand as Treasure laughed at us.
"Peachessss..." Demaya dragged with a smile.
"Right, laugh be all loud and shit." Kianna said laughing as well.
"No cause Meena boutta die tonight." Peaches said waving her hand. "She gon be on her ass!"
"She really is." Kianna said nodding her head. Her and Meena were closer now so they had a tight bond I would say. "She gon be good."
"Right," Demaya said. "Poor this shot."
"And this why I fuck with you." I said opening the bottle with a wide smile. I missed them.
——————
I laughed. "Bitch fuck you drunk?" I asked recording Demaya as she laid on the couch with her eyes closed. "WE GOT A DEAD BODY!"
They laughed. "She not dead. Soon as Jammo walk through that door she gon be up up."
"No cap." Demaya blurted out with a smile.
"I'm drunk as fuckkkkk!" Treasure said laying on the floor with her eyes wide. "Roll up!"
"Not it." I said shaking my head sitting down on the couch. I hated rolling but I loved to smoke. I hated when my woods don't pull and then I gotta do extra shit. Allat blows me.
"I'll roll.." Meena said with a shrug. "Y'all want some of Mario weed? We finna smoke a pound!"
I started cracking up laughing with Kianna. "Bitch all like a pound." She said.
"Bitch go get it!" Treasure yelled. "Tryna smoke that pounddddd..." She dragged before sticking her tongue out.
I grabbed my drink from the table and sipped it. I was drunk as fuck too but I kind of calmed down when it came to drinking. Light liquor doesn't really make me crazy.
"DONT GIVE A FUCK BOUT WHERE YOU FROM! WE LEAVE YOU SLUMPED AND THATS ON DUMP!" Kianna rapped along as we rapped along to the song.
"THEY KNOW I LIKE I BODY I CATCH BODIES WITH THE SLIMEST NIGGAS! THEY KNOW I BE WILDIN IN FRONT MY MOMMA HOUSE I SHOT A NIGGA!" I yelled along.
Next thing I know, I was smoking a wood on the couch laying down on top of Demaya. "Bruh I really fuck with you gang," She slurred.
"On goddd.." I dragged nodding my head.
"I swear gang, you really my bitch. I'll kill a nigga for you. I swear to god." She said putting her hand up. "Y'know what?"
"What?" I asked bowing out smoke.
"Let's go jump Maya." She blurted out.
"Ok." Treasure said sitting up blowing out smoke. I looked over at Meena who was sitting there smoking as well as Kianna smirked.
"Jump her?" She asked.
"Fuck yeah." Demaya said nodding her head.
"Fuck allat," I said. "Let me trash her."
"Trash her?" Kianna said with her head tilted, Meena chuckled.
"I'm not gon lie," She started off. "Mama got them shitters. She's really get out there with anybody. Bitches she don't even know done got beat the fuck up by her."
"Nah real shit." Treasure said nodding her head.
"So do y'all wanna go do it...?" I questioned. "I'm doing it with or without y'all. That bitch on my hit list. Gotta drag her."
"We can." Kianna said with a shrug.
"Who gon driveeee?" Demaya slurred.
I heard the front door open.
"Bruh, shut the fuck up." Mario groaned walking inside the living room. I noticed Cruddy, Jammo, Gleesh, and Dejhari all walking in behind him.
I decided to stay quiet. I was drunk and I knew I didn't know what to say out my mouth right now.
"Best," Cruddy said softly touching his heart. "I missed seeing your face so much." I started laughing at him as he stood there. This nigga so goofy it's ridiculous.
"I missed you too bestieee." I said with a laugh.
"Hey Kat, welcome back." Gleesh said with a smile, I chuckled. "What?"
"You all like welcome back." I said. "Nigga i been back for like 2 weeks and stuff."
"I'm just seeing you tho." He said before looking at Treasure who was laying on the couch still smoking in her own world. I watched as he walked over to her and started chatting with her like nothing ever happened between them.
I looked over at Dejhari who was standing there with a ski mask on. He was on his phone typing which caught me by surprise because he was never the type to be all in his phone.
But at the same time, I don't even give a fuck.
I grabbed the blunt and put the fire to it. I got up and started making my way outside so I could smoke considering that I wanted to face this bitch alone. I'm high as hell right now.
I got into my car and locked the doors.
I didn't really wanna be around Dejhari. Things weren't good with us and I wasn't into acting like I was all cool when I wasn't. I expected to see him though. I mean, I was coming to his sisters house.
I just wish I prepped my mind for what to expect when seeing him. I detached myself from that whole situation and I don't want those memories to come back to me.
Don't get me wrong. They weren't all bad. But the ones that were bad, were horrible.
"What am I gonna do about the baby situation?" I asked sitting next to Dejhari as he sat on the hotel bed. Whatever Dejhari was mixed in had us hiding out in hotels ever since I said I would leave him if he didn't tell me what was going on.
"We gonna keep it." He said, I sniffed before shaking my head slowly as he sat there staring at me. I could feel the pain from his eyes on the side of my face as I moved around.
"What you mean?"
"Dooda, I can't carry this baby full term." I exposed looking over at him. "My surgery was too evasive. They said they don't know if the baby will be able to survive a full pregnancy."
I watched as one tear fell and slid down his cheek as he sat there looking at me. "Why?" he blurted out partly before sniffing.
"Why what?" I questioned.
"Fuck this a nigga karma?" He mumbled. "I kill people so you keep killing my babies."
The words stabbed me. I didn't understand what I was hearing so I tried not to say anything.
"All I want is a kid." He said. "That's all I want. I don't know when Ima die and I wanna leave something down here for everybody to remember me by. Y'know?"
He looked over at me. "I want you to have my baby Muga. I don't want nobody else to have my kids but you. Why are we going through this?"
"I don't know." I mumbled shaking my head. "You've killed people?" I questioned.
He tilted his head. "You got a wire on or something?" He asked, I frowned.
"I'm not joking Dejhari." I said. "Y'know how I feel about that type of stuff. Y'know how I feel."
"It don't matter how you feel." He said shaking his head. "I did allat shit for us. Some I did for you. I got shit done and now it's over with. You don't have to feel like nothing no more because it's done Kataleya."
"It's done?" I questioned.
"It's done."
The loud knocks on the window broke me out of my thoughts. I blew the smoke out and looked over and noticed the jacket and sighed. I unlocked the door and watched as he got in.
"Grandma went all out for you, huh?" He said with a smirk before looking over at me.
"I guess you can say that." I said.
I looked over at him and noticed he pulled his ski mask up. The large scratch on his face had vaseline on. He looked so good to me that I could do anything to him right now.
But I gotta be strong. I gotta stand up.
"You so pretty Muga." He blurted out.
"Thank you," I said quietly before looking away.
"I really missed seeing you around and shit. And I know shit ain't work out between us but that don't mean shit. I still love you and I'm still always looking out for you Muga." He expressed.
The car went quiet and I put my blunt out.
"I still love you too Dejhari," I said softly. "And I really missed you too."
"I gah question for you." He said looking over at me. I leaned against the car door and looked at him as he sat there staring at me.
"What?"
"Are you happy?"
My mind flooded with memories of us. Of my younger life. Fighting, crying, the hospital, Dejhari's house, sex, liquor, fun, atlanta, limos, slingshots, and parks. Everything I've been through with him.
Everything I've felt. Everything I've learned from being with him and living with him. Moving with him. Living my life just at the same time as he did was a dream for me.
But what he did woke something else in me.
Common sense.
"You broke my heart into a million pieces."
He didn't say anything.
"I know you feel like you did a lot for me and sacrificed a lot for me but I sacrificed a lot for you too Dejhari. I defended you towards my grandma not even knowing that everything she suspected that you were doing, you were."
"What about how I feel? How I felt? I lost two babies by you. Two of them. And instead of being here for me through that. You left."
"I still tried to be there for you and protect you at the same time." He said, I sniffed.
"You wouldn't have to protect me from anything if you would've been honest with me from the beginning." I said. "You lied to me the whole time. I don't know you at all."
"You do know me. That little shit don't make me who I am. I did some fucked up shit but I'm bigger than that shit. That shit behind me. I'm a better man now. I got my shit together."
"That's now." I said. "You put me through so fucking much that you don't even see it."
He smacked his lips. "You put me through hella shit too. What?" He said with a frown.
"And that's why we don't need to be together." I said shaking my head. "We're bad for each other. Everybody was right about us."
He didn't say anything back. He opened the car door and left out completely. He slammed the door closed and walked away quickly back into the house.
Why is my life so fucked up?
——————
𝐎𝐌𝐍𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐓
Dejhari sat down on his couch and put his head back. He let out a breathe he didn't even know he was holding as he thought about everything that's been going on his life since he last saw Kataleya.
He felt like she just didn't understand what was going on and she was acting out. Yes, he did leave but he also explained to her why he had to go. He had to leave her behind for her safety.
He had his own things going on and didn't want to loop her in and risk losing her forever. He understood that she lost two babies by him because he felt it in every breathe that he took.
Every step he made he couldn't help but think about two dead fetuses that he wanted so desperately with her. He wanted a family with her. He was in love with her but he knew what he wanted would never be.
Not only was Kataleya barren, they're relationship held too much pain. Kataleya believed that being shot changed Dejhari for the worst. Things were good for them before he got shot and they lost the baby.
Everything was much happier. So she believed.
"You had a long day?" Destiny asked sitting next to Dejhari. He watched as she laid her head on his shoulder with a small pout as he sat there collecting his thoughts about Kat and putting them to the back of his mind.
He had someone new now. All the memories he had with Kat were locked in a box in his mind. He only allowed himself to sort through that box a small amount throughout the day because he knew he had to let her go.
It was just so hard.
"Yeah," He said wrapping his arm around her waist. "I missed you all day though."
She blushed. "I missed you."
"You had a long day too, huh?"
"Kind of," She started off. He heard half of what she said because his mind went back to the car conversation. Eight words stuck with him.
"You broke my heart into a million pieces."
——————
Would it be wild if I ended it like this?
Asking for a friend.
- kiikiisaidfuckyou 2/16