"I'm sorry. I should've accompanied her all the time. It's my fault." Peter said guiltily.
He put the blame on himself for being so careless to which Natasha always told him to look out for you even though she knew you were against it for treating you like a child, which of course, you still were, to her.
"They already got her, Peter. There's no time to think who's fault is this." Natasha said with a sigh.
"Do we have anything that might lead to her, footage or something?" Steve asked as his eyes focused on Tony who had been busy looking at the screen.
Tony didn't answer him as his fingers still swiping on the hologram screen which Bruce also tried to help whatever he could beside him.
"I found something." Tony announced and all eyes were on him.
He managed to enter the security camera footage of your school and based on the information he got from Peter, he finally found something useful.
Footage from the camera of the hallway of your school played in front of them. As Tony set it a bit faster, he stopped and let the normal speed play the video.
"Is that-" Natasha pushed Tony aside as he huffed when the redhead took over the screen.
"Rumlow." Steve said as he stared at the screen with anger on his face.
Of course it was HYDRA, their sworn enemy.
As Natasha rolled the footage faster again, she gasped when she saw you entered the frame, unconscious and were carried on one of his men's shoulders.
She clenched her fists at how they threw you in their van harshly like you were an object.
Rumlow came back and he knew what he was doing when he smiled devilishly and held up his gun before he shot the camera dead.
Natasha had enough as she punched the screen and was about to break down as she stormed out of the meeting room.
The tension of the room thickens as they were speechless at what happened to you.
"I will go check on her. You guys try to find her with what ever method that we got, whether it makes sense or not. Use it all. Maybe try to list down all the HYDRA bases first, and we'll start with that."
Steve commanded as the rest of them nodded before the super soldier walked out of the meeting room.
"Don't follow me." The Russian said as she noticed the blonde was behind her.
She walked fast and as soon as she reached her room, Steve blocked his arm between the door before the redhead could close it and lock herself in.
Natasha sighed at the stubbornness of him as she finally gave in and went to sit on the bed while Steve closed the door silently.
"Just, why?"
Natasha asked as she started to fall apart and she didn't care anymore about the super soldier. He had seen her cry, so what would be the difference now?
Her head was in her hands as she cried harder. Steve went towards her and took a seat beside her as he wrapped his arm around her body.
"Why can't the world just let me be happy with my life for just a bit? Why do they need to take away my happiness? Is it because I'm not worth enough to be a mother? I-I killed people. I-I failed. I failed, Steve."
Steve shook his head and pulled away from the Russian as he held her shoulders.
"Hey, hey, stop it. You're more than worth being a mother. And y/n really adores you that she didn't even care about your past life. She only sees a strong and caring person that she knows that person will look after her, take care of her, love her and you have proven it for 13 years of her life. She grows to be a great girl that was raised by you, her mother."
He paused and his blue orbs stared deeply into the glistening green eyes in front of him.
"You, Natasha Romanoff is the best mother y/n could ever ask for." He smiled reassuringly as Natasha slowly formed a small one.
"We will find her, right?" She asked with a rasp voice.
"We will find her."
He traced his thumb onto the redhead's cheek to wipe off the almost dried tears as his eyes were still on hers.
As if they could feel like a magnet between them, they both slowly went closer and their lips sealed full of devotion.
As they pulled away, both of their cheeks started to redden as they caught each other's eyes again.
"That- was uncalled for." Natasha said with a slight smirk.
He sighed, "And we did it at the worst time."
⧗
A week of the darkest days at the compound continued as they still didn't have any clue of where you had been brought.
Meetings after meetings were held to update every information that anyone got.
But they were all just sat in the meeting and a calm discussion turned into full of yelling. Tony even had to rush Peter out of the room as they kept on cursing because of the frustration.
They didn't know what the actual intention of HYDRA. They never got any threatening messages or anything that could lead to you being taken by them.
Of course Natasha was the most worked up to search for you. She didn't eat or sleep and she would yell to whoever forced her to rest.
Even Steve.
She couldn't rest, or even take a breather for a minute, thinking that you were out there and she had no idea how you'd been.
Either you were being hurt, or just being kept in the basement, or the worst thing that she immediately pushed it out of her mind.
SHIELD also did the best they could to help the team. Nick and Maria always updated them and they gave the list of the bases they got.
But when FRIDAY analyzed it, the bases that were given had been compromised by them after the Ultron event, which was years ago.
But to make sure of it, Nick assigned the SHIELD agents to help them observe the bases.
He tried to dig deeper, to know their other secret bases but nothing came out.
As weeks passed by, Natasha, she slowly started to lose herself and went back to who she was before she had this family, before she had you.
She became cold and distant.
She was suffering silently in your bedroom, didn't even care whether the sun rose or set. She kept herself in your room with the curtains never been opened and the lights never been switched on.
She brought one of your clothes clutched to her chest as she breathed in your scent and cried at how she missed you so badly.
She missed your hugs, your kisses, your clinginess and the warmth that she felt when she cuddled you.
Even when Nick called her, she just stared at the phone screen until the rings stopped by themselves.
The door creaked open putting her to a halt at her thoughts of you.
"Nat, I brought you some soup."
Wanda's voice echoed in the room. But with her great spy skills, she knew the witch wasn't alone.
"Leave me alone. Unless you have news about my daughter."
Wanda sighed at her sister-figure. She knew how stubborn Natasha could get, and the fact that you inherited it too.
She put the tray on the bedside table and sat on the bed while the Russian was backfacing her.
"Nat, come on, you need to eat. How do you want to find y/n when you have no energy?"
"For God's sake Nat, don't be like this. We all miss y/n too. We tried the best we could to find her. And we need you too. She needs you. We don't have a fucking clue at where she is and we need all hands on deck, especially you. So get up from the fucking bed and have some damn meal." Clint scolded.
He had enough. He knew Natasha wasn't like this. From the years of knowing the ex-KGB assassin, she would get whatever she wanted until she got it.
But he felt strange with the changed demeanor of his best friend. You really changed her perspective of life. You had made her soft. Very soft.
"Then try harder." She replied dryly.
Clint shook his head and sighed heavily. Steve who had been in the room too put his hand on the archer's shoulder.
"Let me talk to her." Steve said.
Both Wanda and Clint left a faint smile and nodded before leaving the room for the super soldier. They knew about how Steve was head over heels with the redhead for years.
But they respected his personal life and didn't chime in on how he wanted to express it to her. But of course they helped when he asked.
"What do you want, Steve? I don't want to talk to anyone." She said after she heard the sound of the door shut.
"Please Nat, have some meals and we can continue our search for y/n."
Steve sat on the small space that Natasha left and went through her hair with his fingers.
The redhead's body stiffened at the sudden touch but softened when she felt it actually calmed her.
"She's waiting for us to save her, she's waiting for you. Staying in bed is not going to get her back."
Natasha sighed heavily and slowly sat up.
"I just miss her so much. I don't know what to do. She takes all my spirit away. I feel empty, Steve. You don't understand. To imagine what will happen to her with those fucking HYDRA men. I just- can't."
Steve looked at her with sadness in his eyes.
"Come here."
He pulled the woman into his arms and he embraced her as she started to sob.
Steve just held her the moment she was crying. He could feel the woman's body trembling in his arms but he didn't make her stop crying.
He knew she needed that. She needed to let her express herself and not to try to build her walls back up.
She just had her only baby girl, her only weakness being taken by their sworn enemy.
And they all knew the history of their nemesis and what they would do to their hostages.
As Natasha started to calm herself down, Steve looked at his side and grabbed the bowl of soup that Wanda left for the redhead.
"Here, eat some. You need the energy, honey."
He held out a spoonful to her mouth but Natasha was a bit frozen at the name he slipped out.
"What'd you call me?" She asked with her deep raspy voice with a hint of sniffle.
He raised an eyebrow, "Uhh, what?"
"You called me honey." She smirked.
"Did I say that out loud?" He asked as he widened his eyes. "Shit." He muttered under his breath.
Natasha chuckled at the sudden curse coming out of the perfect soldier.
"Just eat this, Nat." He said as he handed the bowl.
His cheeks were flushed red and not to embarrass him more, she took it and ate it without any questions.
And that was a really damn good meal after not getting it properly for days.
"I uhh- I want to tell you something." Steve said after putting back the glass that Natasha gave him onto the tray.
She hummed to let him know that she was listening.
"I-I know this is not a really good time to bring this up but um- I- I've been falling for you- since before you even have y/n."
He was too flustered that he couldn't look at Natasha in the eyes as the Russian smirked.
"About damn time."
And now, his eyes instantly searched for the green ones with a shocked look painted on his face.
"You really need to sort out your schedule." She smiled and it gave warmth to the blonde.
"I'm sorry, I guess the kid that always got nervous around women from Brooklyn still overpowered me even though I had the serum to make me turn into this man."
"You're a good man, Steve."
She reached for his hand and traced her thumb on his knuckle.
"Since when did you know?" He asked.
"I'm not sure. Maybe around the time when SHIELD was compromised and we were on the run. And you weren't really good at hiding it." She teased.
"Oh, so your attempts at flirting with me were just the hints to let me confess to you first, huh?" He replied.
"Maybe." She shrugged but then her face changed, "Well, actually it's not that. You're a perfect human being, Steve. And I don't think that I deserve you. I'm a killer, not just a girl or woman who saved the day."
Steve shook his head and sighed.
"No, Nat. I fell in love with you because of you now, not because of your past. And those who made you a killer were the ones at fault. You were just a kid when it happened."
He sighed and slowly, both of their foreheads connected as he caressed her arms.
"I love you, Nat."
Natasha put her hand on the side of his neck and she pulled him into a kiss as he pressed his lips even deeper.
Before it got heated, Natasha pulled away with a pant as well as Steve.
"I-I'm sorry Steve, but I can't say those words yet. I like that you're always with me but I need to find my daughter first and bring her back to her home." She said guiltily.
Steve smiled, "Understandable. I'm not pushing you. If I can wait 15 years to confess, then what's the problem now?"
Natasha let out a slight chuckle.
Steve got up and was ready to leave but Natasha caught his arm.
"Stay."
⧗
Posted on 13th December 2021
Edited on 17th June 2023