I don't think I've ever really been this nervous before. I paced up and down my room. Chewed off half my fingernails and anticipated every possible way this night could go.
I tried listening to Taylor Swift, hoping she would calm me down. She did for the most part.
I sat nervously and waited for the bullets to fly.
My father didn't want me down there. I'm glad he didn't. I didn't want to see Nicolas. I know how these things go, my father has met with plenty men like this in the past but it's never to make deals and negotiate, it's always to hear pleas for mercy.
After about 10 minutes, I heard the front door opening and heels clacking up the marble staircase.
My mother came home.
She knocked on my door and Trey's voice called out "Ms Hayes, it's your mother." I brushed the hair out of my face and opened the door gently.
She smiled at me.
My heart was already pounding.
"mama, everything okay?" I said to her.
"can I come in?" she asked. I nodded and opened the door wider for her to come in.
"you alright Katerina?" she asked me. She took a glance at my face and I guess she noticed I was panicking.
"I'm fine. Papa is meeting with Nicolas now." I said to her.
"yes, I saw all the rich cars outside. Your father will take care of everything Kat. Don't worry." she said to me.
My body immediately relaxed. She was right. But it was also the feeling of her being here with me. For some strange reason, I felt like my mother was really here. Like she wanted to be here. And I honestly didn't want to be anywhere else.
"how is aunt Mari?" I asked her.
She smiled, ever so slightly.
"she's doing well. She asked to take me to Bahamas next year." she said. I smiled. "mama you know you could go whenever you wanted, papa bought you a jet last year." I said to her and laughed softly.
"you think he'd take time off work to be with me?" she said. Her voice was somewhat condescending. It was as if she was hinting at something, but very indirectly.
"I think he'd do anything you asked him to." I said to her. It was true, he would.
"you're going to get married and leave us Katerina. It's just going to be me and him. Maybe then he'll have some time." she said to me. Her voice now shifted into something more genuine. And this was the most she's spoken to me in years. Something definitely changed with her.
"he has all the time for you now mama. You just have to give him a chance." I said to her. She smiled. "the Don of Cosa Nostra going on a date? Could I ever be so lucky?" she said to me. I laughed again.
"that's if a shootout doesn't happen now." I said to her.
I smelt something on her but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.
Then she sighed. And I smelt it on her breath.
"mama, were you drinking whisky?" I asked her. My eyebrow was raised and my hand was on my hip. We switched roles.
Her eyes widened. "I had a bit before I came home. But I used mouthwash." she said to me. I laughed at her.
"don't laugh at me. And don't tell your father either." she said.
It suddenly hit me that she would only ever talk so much to me when she was intoxicated, and didn't know what she was saying. It would take shots of whisky for my mother to have a conversation with me. And that cut, deeply. We'd never be normal, she'd never fully be in her senses. She'd never treat me the way a mother is supposed to treat her daughter. It's something I've never quite come to terms with but eventually maybe I will. Maybe it won't hurt as much anymore.
I cleared my throat.
"anyway mama, you should probably go, change and maybe shower or something." I said to her. I was unsure of how to drive her out of my room but I knew I didn't want to talk to her if the conversation was assisted by alcohol.
She nodded and picked up her clutch bag and left.
I sighed and plopped down on my bed.
After half an hour, I heard a car leave the driveway and my father called me downstairs.
My heart was beating against my chest as if it wanted out. I sighed heavily, took a few deep breaths and tucked my hair into a neat ponytail. I adjusted my shirt and slipped on my bunny bedroom slippers.
As I made my way down the stairs I felt a sense of relief washing over me, that tonight didn't end in turmoil. Whatever they said to me now, I'd take it in my stride.
I took one more deep breath and grabbed the handle of the boardroom door.
I looked at my papa. My eyes cut to Axle's and then it drifted off to bluer ones.
"bella, this is Carter Agnello. My friend from the FAA." my papa said to me.
My eyes never left his. His never moved from mine. I don't think I've ever seen eyes this blue.
He was in a dark grey suit, a black button up dress shirt and I could see a gold chain around his neck. I didn't look for too long but I saw black ink on his chest as well.
I could sense coldness in his eyes. It was the same shade of blue the ocean would turn just before a storm. He was very pretty, in the conventional sense, not the classic handsome I'm familiar with.
His eyes searched my face, and I could feel someone else's gaze on my body. And it wasn't my father's.
Axle cleared his throat and broke Carter and my trance.
"I'm Katerina Hayes. It's a pleasure to meet you." I said to him. My voice must've trembled along the way.
"the pleasure is mine. Assordante, Katerina." he said to me. I smiled at him. Genuine smile. His accent was thick, pure Italian. I had spoken Italian for most of my childhood. We were never an English speaking household until I started high school. By the time I entered university, I knew the language in and out, yet somehow I still preferred speaking Italian. And listening to it.
"Mi piacciono i tuoi occhi" I said to him. 'I like your eyes'.
"hm, Sei bellissima quando parli italiano" he said. I smiled again.
"thank you." I said to him.
Axle stood up. "thank you for all your help Carter. Hayes and I will see you around." his gruff and rude voice rattled off.
"actually, do you mind if we take a walk Katerina?" Carter spoke up. I was impressed. He talked back to a don. I thought my father would object but he nodded. "Watch it, Angello. Step out of line and you'll be tasting a bullet tonight. Don't you dare touch her," my fathers spits out. Carter's face shifts, but he doesn't let any fear show. He definitely knows my father isn't joking.
"Yes sir, of course." Carter says, and motions his hand for me to walk in front of him. When we leave the boardroom, my heart is pounding.
"I like your shoes. Where I can get a pair?" he asked me. I smile at him.
"I bought them online. I can get you some if you want. They have blue. Like your eyes." I said to him and he let go of my hand and opened the door to the backyard for me.
"you really like my eyes huh?" he said to me and the backyard motion sensors came on and the lights lit up the yard. "I do. They're pretty." I said to him. He stopped and looked at me in the light.
"I see why your father hid you from the world. My God, you're stunning." he said to me. I think I'm blushing. "thank you. And my father only hid me from everyone because he's insane." I said to him.
He chuckled softly. And it was very sexy. A very interesting sound.
"you cold?" he said to me watching me rub my forearm. It was well into September and the nights were warm but I wasn't cold, I was rubbing the spot where Tyler grabbed me. I wondered if Carter was aggressive too. You never know that side of a man. I feared it.
I shook my head no. "no, you?" I asked him and he smiled. "no." he said and stopped walking again.
I stopped with him. He was looking down at his shoes, he seemed... nervous?
"Carter are you al-" I said and he cut me off.
"I want to take you out. On a date. Will you let me?" he said. His words were laced with his Italian accent. I wanted to melt.
"yes." I said. With zero hesitation. Then I hesitated. "but my father-" I said and he cut me off again. "you don't worry about that. I'll talk to him." he said to me. I smiled. He was confident my father wouldn't shoot him in the head.
"I just, I like looking at you." he said. Looking down at his shoes again. He really was nervous. It was cute, because I was nervous too.
"I like looking at you too." I said to him, and he lifted his head. It was dark outside, but the lights in the yard probably highlighted the blush in my cheeks.
He stepped closer to me. I could taste my heart beat. He lifted his hand and I flinched slightly. He noticed it. I was flustered. I didn't want to be this scared little girl. Not in a world like this.
He immediately backed away.
"hey, are you afraid of me? I wouldn't hurt you Katerina. Ever. God I'm so sorry." he rattled off. I shook my head. "no no it's not that, I just..." I stopped and sighed.
"I had a bad experience. But it's okay. How about you try again." I said to him.
He sighed heavily. "a bad experience? With whom? Who would be so stupid to put their hands on a Don's daughter?" he said and inched closer to me again.
"it's already taken care of." I said to him.
"good. I wasn't in the mood to go kill anyone tonight." he said and my back was pressed against the wall and he towered over me.
He brushed a strand of my hair from my face.
"why is that?" I asked him. Usually Cosa Nostra men would kill anyone, any time of day.
"Perché ho incontrato una ragazza carina e voglio pensare a lei." he spoke smoothly.
I smiled. His finger brushed my cheek.
"Sei un chiacchierone dolce" I said to him and his warm breath from his laughter brushed my face.
"Sto flirtando con te. Lo sto facendo bene?" he said and I laughed. "Stai andando abbastanza bene." I said to him.
He looked into my eyes for a second. I looked back at his. Everything faded away and I liked where I was. I just don't feel...captured. I don't feel the desire I know I've felt in my heart before for another man. Maybe it will come with time, and I'm reading into it.
"it was lovely to meet you, Ms Hayes." he said to me. He reached down my body and grabbed my hand. I felt the exact feeling someone would feel if they had electric current running through their body.
I intertwined our fingers and he smiled. "it was lovely meeting you, Mr Agnello." I said to him.
He stared into my eyes for one more second then motioned for us to walk.
I felt something different talking to him. There was something missing in our conversation.
Curse words from another's bitter, Italian lips.
Even with my hands locked with another perfect man, he still crossed my thoughts. I quickly threw it out my head when we reached the door and I met Carter's gaze.
I saw Axle and my father sitting at the bar in the house and Carter let go of my hand softly and opened the door for me.
"I have security cameras in the back. If something happened out there, I'll know." my father's voice pierced the both of us.
"hilarious. Did everything go well tonight?" I asked them. Anxious about the meeting.
"I gave away my Brownsville street for you." Axle said to me. I looked at him and smiled. His dark brown eyes were burning holes through my body. For some reason, I could tell he didn't like me being outside with Carter.
"ah, thank you Kingston, you're too kind." I said to him and walked past them.
"Hayes, I'm taking Katerina out tomorrow night. Is that alright with you?" Carter's deep Italian voice spoke.
I internally winced.
"are you now?" my father spoke. I had my back facing to them but I turned back around. I saw Axle and his eyes were on Carter. I looked down and saw his hand tighten around his glass. I prayed that Carter could dodge flying tumblers of whisky.
"dad, please don't be a douche." I said to him and sighed. "Dios mio Katerina. A douche? You wound me. If you want to go, mija, it's entirely up to you. But try anything funky Agnello, I'll murder you in your sleep." my father spoke. I stifled my laugh.
"yes sir." he said and started walking to the door to leave.
"wait, before you go I need to discuss something with the two of you. Come into my study." my father spoke. He looked over at me and smiled.
"goodnight Katerina." Carter said to me and smiled. "goodnight Carter, see you tomorrow" I said to him.
"I'll text you." he said and my father pushed him into the study. I smiled and walked upstairs.
I saw my mother sitting on the couch.
"well, are you going to marry him?" she asked. I was still a bit upset with her. But I answered anyway.
"I've known him for 2 seconds. I don't hear wedding bells just yet." I said to her and opened my room door.
"he's a dreamboat." she said to me and smiled. "if you like him so much you marry him" I said to her.
"ay dios mio, with eyes that blue I'd be swimming already if you know what I mean." she said and wiggled her eyebrows. Part of me wished she would be like this all the time.
"gross mama, just gross." I said and went inside my room.
I walked into my bathroom and brushed my teeth ready to head to bed. It was already 1am and I was tired. It was a long day of panicking.
I changed into pajamas and my door flew wide opened. The door hinges would come off any day now.
He bent his head to come through the doorway and his tall body towered over mine. He shut the door without turning, his eyes on mine. I now noticed he was much taller than Carter.
When Carter looked at me, I could freeze. But with this man's eyes on me, every part of my body was set on fire. I wasn't sure what I preferred.
"are you going to marry him?" his gruff voice sliced through my ears.
"okay firstly, get out. And second, unless the man proposed to me and I somehow missed it, no I am not marrying him." I said to him and lowered my gaze.
"cut the shit. I saw the way you looked at him. Carter isn't as perfect as he looks on the outside, Katerina. Just be careful." he said to me. His voice was actually pretty terrifying but he wasn't trying to scare me.
"Of course you'd say something like that." I said to him and he cut me off.
"I'm not fucking around. You can't just trust anyone, especially someone working on both sides." he said. "And I already warned you about letting another man touch you, don't make that mistake."
And there it was, the constant cursing I was looking for. It sent a hot sensation through my nerves. I don't know what he's done to me.
"oh my God Axle, you're out of your mind just get out of here. Your possessiveness is concerning." I said to him and pushed him toward the door but he obviously never moved a damn inch.
He turned around to leave and I sighed with relief.
"I'm serious, so much as a finger on your body and I'll kill him. You know I'm don't bluff. Just be careful, and be smart." he said to me.
I instantly wondered how he would've reacted if he saw how close Carter was to me in the backyard.
I waved him off.
"I'll be fine. Goodnight el Diablo." I said to him with a smile.
"Goodnight, bruja." he said and walked down the stairs.
I shut my room door and lay in my bed. Many things crossed my mind. I was now safe from Nicolas, I had a date and I would slowly be able to redirect my horrid feelings toward my brothers fiancé's brother.