I chose my path. Alchemy was the route. For me, it was simple, yet I knew it wouldn't be as easy with Jenni and Fanny. Not that it had been easy with Emmanuel. He was still crying behind me when I went to my room, surprising a worried Fanny that waited for me with a cream flask in her hands.
As this would lead to endless and tiresome talks, I asked Fanny to fetch Jenni. My idea was one talk and everything would end. It would be a big and unhappy talk, but then it would be over. Most of it.
While Fanny rushed outside the door, leaving me with the flask and a semi-crying Emmanuel, I went to my desk where my alchemy books were hidden. I dusted them off and a big wimpy sound came from behind me. Emmanuel was sitting in a chair close to the bed, head down.
I arched my eyebrow at his figure. The moment I left the hall, he went into silly mode. It couldn't be that he was trying to stop me, which meant he was being annoying just to piss me over... Ah, the dramatics... of course, he was Gobbie's professor, the titular drama queen.
Was with the books in my hand, that Jenni and Fanny saw me when entering my room. There was a loud gasp coming from the latter, though Jenni remained calm, giving side-eye glances to the miserable Emmanuel. I breathed and closed my eyes before telling them my decision.
They took it as I expected, with a lot of gasps from Fanny, and a worried calm from Jenni's side. Emmanuel just wept (as per norm). When I finished, Fanny rushed to my side and hugged me, sad.
"Why my lady? What if something happens to you? I couldn't live with myself knowing that I could have prevented it..." she released me and glanced back and forth between me and Jenni, who stayed quiet by Emmanuel's side.
Fanny's shaky hands secured my arm. I looked at her and then at my alchemy books. They had the knowledge I needed; they were the ticket to my freedom, to my life. I grasped them until my hands hurt and then lifted my chin and stared at Jenni and Emmanuel.
"I want to survive." I said, simple and resolute.
There was a deep silence, and Fanny's hands left my body. She said nothing and just stayed close to me. Emmanuel stopped crying and looked back at me with the same intensity as in the hall.
"I understand." he told before he got up and left.
Me and Fanny watched him go with surprise, except for Jenni, who didn't even bat an eye over it. Instead, she shifted from her position, her hands clasped together and her blue eyes fixed on me.
"What if things go wrong?" Jenni asked, a deep furrow on her face.
I felt again Fanny's grasp on my arm. I turned to her and smiled, which confused her. Then, when there were no more gasps, I answered Jenni. "That is why Emmanuel would join me in my studies. To help avoid that."
Both arched their brows at my idea and Jenni crossed her arms, waiting for more details. And so I laid down my plan.
After many discussions and unhappy sighs, they agreed on the condition that Emmanuel would oversee every step of my self-studies. They trusted him and, with his presence, my safety would be assured in case something went sour. However...
If I read a book with strange markings, he was there.
If I looked at a strange rock, he was there.
If I analyzed the muskets, he was there.
If I tried to gather ingredients, he was there.
If I... you got my vibe.
He was everywhere, lurking in the shadows. Trying to be inconspicuous and failing miserably. Because Emmanuel could do many great things (or so I was told by several maids and employees at the estate), just not be subtle in hiding. I, and any others really, could spot his warm light and presence in seconds. And if I ever cut or hurt myself (nothing big, to be honest), he would come rushing with tears in his face, causing a ruckus in the manor.
It had been my idea to begin with, but he was now being more of an obstacle than of help. For my nerves, at least. So... I never told him about the baking. I needed to be away from his crying eyes and worried stares.
One afternoon, while Fanny and Jenni were preparing a flower arrangement for our drawing-room, I went to the working quarters, finding an empty kitchen after some enquiries and gentle requests.
The smell of food was the first thing that came to me when I opened the door. Someone had used it before, yet it was spot on clean. It was a small and charming place, with plenty of space to work on and store food. I paced around, touching its marble benches and checking its many pots lying around. There were kitchen knives stuck on the walls and many other baking instruments accessible in the cupboards. Heaven to yours truly!
Without time to lose, I began gathering everything I needed for my recipe. Maybe if I was lucky, I could bribe Emmanuel with my baking, as I did with the Duke. While fetching for the ingredients, on the lowest shelf of an old cupboard, I whistled a tune. I stopped when everything had been put in the basket. But not the tune, that one continued.
Startled, I straightened myself and looked at the door, finding Emmanuel there with his arms crossed. However, it was too dark to see his expression. Not that I hadn't my guesses already. He probably was wearing the abandoned puppy face. Sheesss....
"Emmanuel, you really should stop this. The Duke has used those tactics of yours since I can remember. To be honest, he can be worse than you... so give up and let me bake." I said, putting the basket on a free bench.
There was a hearty laugh coming from him, whose features remained obscured. "He has? But he hated those before..."
I did my best to avoid rolling my eyes, though an exasperated sigh left my lips when I turned to him again. "What are you doing here? I am not doing any alchemy related stuff. This was not what we agreed."
He left the door and finally I could see his expression, neutral. "Well, I came to make my lunch... You are in my kitchen..." my eyes grew bigger and his smile appeared. He cooks? He? "Yes, I cook my lady. Sometimes, at least."
I scratched my head. "My Lady, don't think I don't know you use baking to advance in your alchemy." when I opened my mouth to protest, he lifted his hand. "Your sister told me." Betrayed by my family!! "Besides, it's nothing dangerous so I won't be needed, unless you cut yourself."
He picked some fresh vegetables from the cupboard I used and poured them on a counter facing a small window. He threw some pots away and cut the vegetables with quick mastery. I watched his back, seeing his hands moving at speed. The knife beating the board was the only sound at the moment.
It took not more than a few minutes to cut all the veggies. Yet he didn't leave the spot, choosing to see the weather out of the window. "I agreed to help you with your alchemy studies, Lady Lucreatia. I won't interfere."
"I remember that." I retorted.
"You do?" he turned slightly, chuckling. "Do you remember how against I was too?" His hands were open on the cutting board and his eyebrow arched.
I gave out a deep breath. "Then stop me. Or try." I let out.
He smiled and then returned his attention to the vegetables, picking them in a bowl. "You gave up?" he asked as he walked to the oven where a frying pan was waiting. I didn't answer and watched him instead, while he prepared the heat. "Maybe I will. Or maybe I won't." he said, putting cooking oil on the pan and letting it fry.
"Then what are you waiting for?" I came closer to better see his face, which had by now gone into deep concentration.
"Maybe I am just waiting for the right time." he didn't look at me, his attention on the vegetables that cooked with the spices he poured on. I watched him, puzzled, as he gathered some more ingredients and cut them into pieces. It was too much food just for him.
"Are you cooking for the maids, too?"
He stopped stirring and looked at me, surprised. "No." then he checked the pan and a sort of sadness overcame him. "It is a habit. I had a student who loved my cooking, so I ended up making food for her and the others... it never left..." his voice was weak against the sizzling of the heated oil.
"Ah... who was it, this student?" I dared to ask, my curiosity too big.
I regretted having done it when he stared back. His deep eyes, shallow and sad, peered into my being. Whoever this student was, she left him in tatters.
He went back to cooking and chuckled, making me wonder if it had been my imagination. "I must ask you, Lady Lucreatia, that you pretend you didn't catch my act earlier. I have a reputation to maintain and a head to keep safe." the laugh he threw sounded empty to me. "If you are not comfortable here, I will ask the head maid to prepare an unused kitchen we have furthest east from here. You will be alone there and no one would bother you."
"Emmanuel." I began, now leaning on the counter closest to him. "Are you really at risk of losing your head?"
For some strange reason, it sounded like an impossibility to me. Why? I didn't know. Though, maybe not that impossible.
He finished cooking and extinguished the heat. "From a Mountnero? Always." his purple eyes stayed on mine a moment before he went to fetch a plate.
I left. Scowling at his statement. Not all Mountnero were like that. Jenni wasn't like that! So I left, in fast-paced energy, without wanting to admit the actual truth. That I left because I felt like I was intruding on something. On a sorrow and guilt. In the deepest recess of Emmanuel's heart.
And it made me sad.
Since that day, I never again went to bake there. Instead, I used the other kitchen. Fanny went along, having railed at me about the dangers of knives and unsupervised cooking. While I baked my famous choco balls, my mind wandered. I tried to think of a strategy to follow with the muskets. The best way to incorporate alchemy would have to be through the bullets. I could fabricate them, but it would be hard to fabricate them in the right shape.
That would be too advanced for me. It could be, however, a solution for that...
My mind went on and on. And still continued to be filled with alchemy, even when I had finished my baking and was taking the baked goods back to our drawing-room, where Jenni was taking tea with Emmanuel. They sat there chatting when we arrived, with tea already served for me.
I set the tray with the choco balls on the table and was about to seat when the butler came inside. He had a slightly surprised and panicked face.
"She has come. Lady Sargosa."
Emmanuel's face twisted in shock, transforming soon into a glow I couldn't describe. Oh... I was going to hate this...
"Let her come. I will talk to her now." said Emmanuel, raising up. Though he seemed happy, I detected a certain fear from him as well. Sure as hell, I won't like this.
The butler turned to him and bowed. "I am afraid, my lord, I was not precise... Young Lady Sargosa is here." this made Emmanuel stop in his tracks. Then the man turned to me. "Lady Eloise has come instead of her grandmother."
Emmanuel tilted his head and looked at the man, coughing to get his attention. "Why would the granddaughter be here, Franti? The duke sent the letter to her grandmother, not her."
Letter? What was this man planning?!
The butler fixed his coat while he glanced back at me. Jenni had gotten up as well. Her face struck with something that she wanted to tell me. "Lady Eloise told me she has come to reply to Lady Lucreatia's letter."
My letter?!
Emmanuel was as shocked as me, sliding to my side. "How did you..."
Then thunder formed in my head. Eloise of Sargosa!! The future wife of that dimwitted Joshua. My hope! How could I have forgotten?!
So I ran. It was time to meet the mother of the main character.
So sooorry. Again with the excuses... but I had to move last week. I had thought it would finish soon enough, but I was wrong (I have yet to finish completely...). However, now I am on vacation for two weeks. I hope this will be enough for me to write as much as possible. Two chapters will be coming soon besides the ones at the end of the week. Now I have some time to write (I hope :))
Also, what did you think of the chapter? It was a little sadder than I had expected, but I wanted to give some complexity to Emmanuel's character. What did you think? Who is this student? And were you surprised by Eloise's visit? :)