The artwork above is not mine.
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A metallic taste coated his tongue. Blood ran out the corners of his mouth. Fenrys clutched at his throat weakly, desperately trying to staunch the blood flow long enough to let his healing magic take effect. Sticky warmth clung to his fingers. Faces blurred above his own. Voices filtered in and out of his ears.
He tried to speak. Tried to call for help. For Nascha. The only sounds he could make were strangled grunts. Blood bubbled in his throat and flew from his mouth as he coughed. Fenrys sucked down air, but it wasn't enough.
"Keep him breathing," someone was saying. "I'll try to..." All sounds faded momentarily.
He pried a hand away from his neck, searching for someone to hold onto. His vision was growing dim. He needed an anchor. Needed to stay awake. Needed Nascha. Needed his mate. Guilt and despair washed over the Mating Bond, but that was all he felt from her.
Fenrys gasped for breath, still searching for someone. Anyone. A pair of hands leveled over his face and air flooded his lungs, carrying a hint of pine and snow. Rowan. Rowan's wind. Blood sprayed as Fenrys convulsed, the air leaving his lungs as fast as it had arrived. A moment later, it was there again.
"Breath, Pup," Rowan urged.
Fenrys tried to reply, but choked on blood. Tears dripped down his cheeks and his limbs were wracked with shudders. Black spots flooded his vision. Air swirled in his lungs once more, but blood continued to gush from his throat.
"Now!" Lorcan ordered. "Now or he will die!"
"I'm trying!" The voice was Aelin's. She was the one who'd given the order to keep him breathing. She was next to him doing...something. He didn't know what.
Fenrys managed to turn his head, ignoring the pain that splintered down his neck and through his shoulder. Aelin was hunched over him, sobbing as she tried to heal him. Fenrys blinked four times. I am with you.
Aelin blinked seven times. She'd never done that before. He wasn't certain what it meant. Aelin repeated the pattern. She gritted her teeth, shoulders shaking as she worked. She blinked again, seven times.
Fenrys gasped as a command echoed across the blood oath. Aelin was pulling on it painfully. The pain grounded him. Kept him aware of himself. The pain rippled on, and Aelin's command became audible. Stay with me. Stay with me. Stay with me.
He was trying. He was trying to hold on. He was struggling to keep his eyes open. To keep breathing as Rowan filled his lungs with air. Aelin kept blinking seven times. Her command continued to repeat. Stay with me. Stay with me. Stay with me.
Where was Nascha? Fenrys couldn't see her. He could barely make out the faces that surrounded him. Aelin was the closest and even her features were blurry. Rowan was just a tan blob capped with white. The others were nothing but dark shapes. Where was Nascha? Blood spilled from his lips. His strength was waning. Where was his mate?
"Aelin, now!" Another voice pleaded. A dark head bent over him. A hand found his flailing one. Fenrys gave a weak cry as pain stabbed through him.
"I'm trying," his Queen sobbed. "I'm trying!"
A familiar scent reached his nose. Fenrys groaned softly, not even trying to breathe now. Rowan continued to force air into his lungs. He focused on the familiar scent. One he hadn't smelled in a very long time. Dew, foliage, and cedar.
"Con," Fenrys mouthed.
The dark head was still leaning over him. Was it his brother? Or was it Lorcan? Maybe it was Elide. No, the hand in his own felt too large to be Elide's. Its grip was too tight, too frantic, to be Lorcan's. But it was bigger than his own too, and Connall's hand had been the same size as his.
Air was pushed into his lungs. Blood flowed from his mouth. Aelin's tears mixed with his own. The hand held his in a death grip. Connall's scent wafted by again, stronger this time. Where darkness had once tinged Fenrys' vision, there was now light. He could feel its pull. Everything was fading around him.
Where was Nascha? He wanted to see her, just once more. Kiss her one last time. Drink in her scent: nutmeg and frost. Embrace her. Tell her that he loved her. Beg for more time with her. Admit that he was scared to die. Scared to see Seraphina, Gavriel, and Connall. Scared to learn if he'd had a child. He wanted to beg Nascha to stay with him. To not leave him.
Stay with me. Stay with me. Stay with me. Excruciating pain blazed from the blood oath, but Fenrys couldn't obey. He couldn't stay. Couldn't live. Couldn't... His eyes flew open and he screamed as the wound on his neck began to burn.
Live, Aelin commanded through the blood oath. Someone held his legs down when he began to thrash about. Fenrys screamed until his voice broke.
Live, his Queen ordered, as she had before, when he first became her blood-sworn. He screamed until blood was no longer running down his neck.
Live, the command echoed again. Fenrys screamed until the pain faded away and he succumbed to an empty darkness.
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He sat on a moss covered rock on the banks of the lake not far from his cabin. Water lapped at the edge of the rock. He dipped his toes into it with a small smile. "I can see why you like this place so much," his companion said. "You always did like swimming."
"And you didn't?" Fenrys faced his twin.
"Did I say I didn't?" Connall retorted. "I like your scars." He lifted a hand to his own unmarred cheek. "And the tattoo is a nice touch." He gestured to the tattoo of Gavriel's name, inked onto Fenrys' forearm. "I'm surprised you haven't added mine somewhere. Vaughan did."
"He did?"
"On his back." Connall stared out across the lake, his long dark hair swaying in the faint breeze. A contemplative look had crossed his features.
Fenrys watched his brother, memorizing every inch of him. His posture. His expression. The length of his hair. The naturally downturned corners of his mouth. His piercing onyx eyes.
"You only have to look in the mirror to see me," Connall murmured, as if aware of his gaze.
"That's not entirely true."
"Hm." Connall turned to him again. "What's she like? Your mate."
"She's..." Fenrys swallowed hard. "She's confused and hurting. Proud. Stubborn. Funny and caring. Powerful. Beautiful. Grieving."
"She's like us."
"Yes." Fenrys touched his neck, feeling a few ridged scars. "I know she didn't mean to do it. She was just trying to protect me."
"So was I."
"I know." Fenrys turned away. "Vaughan told me." When he looked up again, Connall was gazing at the lake once more. "He loved you."
Connall closed his eyes. "And I loved him."
"Were you mates?"
"No."
"How do you know?"
"Vaughan already has a mate."
Fenrys stared at him in shock. "What?"
Connall smiled, opening his eyes. "He doesn't know, so you'd better not tell him. I want him to find out on his own, so that when the time comes, he'll be ready to accept her." Connall looked at him. "But I do need you to tell him something else for me." Fenrys nodded. "Tell him that it's all right for him to move on. Tell him that he doesn't have to close his heart to others just because he had to close it to me. And...tell him not to be afraid of what's coming."
"I will," Fenrys promised, already memorizing the words, despite the confusion that accompanied them.
"You should not be afraid either," Connall added. "Follow the path you're already on and it will lead you back to Nascha." Fenrys nodded. Their surroundings were becoming unnaturally bright. Connall lifted his gaze to the sky. "I wish I could wake up with you."
Fenrys blinked rapidly, reaching a hand towards his twin. Connall took it and a tear slipped down Fenrys' cheek. Connall's hand was warm and rough, as it had been in life. "I love you, Con."
"You're so embarrassing." Connall pulled him into a tight embrace. "But I love you too." He drew back all too soon. "Now, go." He pointed to the forest behind them.
Fenrys shifted into his wolf and bounded into the trees. He paused just once to look back. Connall was in his wolf form too, his black fur a stark contrast against the brilliant light seeping from the sky. Fenrys threw his head back and howled. A heartbeat later, Connall answered him, before vanishing from sight.
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Fenrys blinked his eyes open and groaned. His throat was sore, and his tongue felt thick and clumsy. "You're awake," Aelin gasped, instantly leaning over him. She pulled him into a tight hug, which he hesitantly returned. "I was so afraid. We all were. I thought..."
"Where's Nascha?" Fenrys asked.
Aelin narrowed her eyes. "She escaped while we were distracted with you. Lorcan, Lysandra, and Elide have been searching for her the past two days while Aedion and Rowan..."
"Two days?" Fenrys interrupted.
"We're meeting with the Tarins tomorrow," Aelin sighed. "In the foothills of the Anascauls with our armies at the ready. Rowan and Aedion are preparing the Bane now. Darrow and Ren have been seeing to the rest of our soldiers."
"What about Vaughan?"
"He was supposed to be helping Lorcan, but he refused to leave the palace until he knew you were all right. I should go get him now." Aelin hurried to the door, then paused. "And Fenrys, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for...any of this, to happen."
"I know."
Fenrys settled back against his pillows, now realizing that he was back in his room. Nascha's scent was faint. He closed his eyes and touched his fingers to the scars on his neck. The door creaked open once more.
"They're faint. Aelin asked the healers to fade them as much as possible," Vaughan said. He entered the room and sat at the foot of the bed. "Or rather, I told them that she wanted them to. I thought you and Nascha wouldn't want such a glaring reminder of this."
"Thank you." Fenrys opened his eyes, meeting Vaughan's gaze.
"She flew past me," Vaughan murmured. "And I knew something had to have happened. I let her go, even though I could have caught her."
"It's all right. If you'd brought her back during all of this..." Fenrys trailed off.
"It wouldn't have ended well," Vaughan finished for him. "Do you think she'll come back on her own?"
Fenrys gave a small nod. "I do." He knit his brows, his gaze falling to Vaughan's hand. "You were the one next to Aelin."
Vaughan nodded, his throat bobbing. "You said 'Con.' Why?"
"He had something to say to us," Fenrys replied. "To you."
Vaughan braced his elbows on his knees and covered his face with his hands. His shoulders shook, though he made no sound. Fenrys gave Vaughan a few minutes to steady himself before passing on the message Connall had given him. And Vaughan wept harder with every word.