(Three years later)
Team was sitting between Pharm and New. New had the window seat while pharm was sleeping in the side one. The plane would be landing in a few minutes.
All of them including Win, Dean, Max, Tul and Tay were going to an island where the Noppanuts owned two resorts. Initially they were planning to go to another place but then Win had insisted on going there, plus if they went there the stay would be free. Since the seniors had graduated from university that year and the juniors had their holidays going on they all had decided to go out for a small vacation for a few days. After getting down at the airport they took two cars to the port where they took a ferry to the island.
"Damn this bed is soft" Team breathed out as he let himself fall on it. He took a long strech, streching all the muscles he could and then letting out a moan of relief after relaxing them. It didn't last long as he fell to the ground with a thud.
"Hia! Why'd you kick me?" He asked irritated as he got in his knees and stood up
Win put a hand on his waist and looked at Team "We just came back after spending more than day travelling and your getting on the bed with the same clothes on."
Team controlled a sigh, he knew what was coming next: don't get on the bed with your outside clothes, how many times have I told you? If your going to sleep on it there wear clean clothes.... Team repeated in his mind as Win continued.
"Don't get on the bed with your outside clothes, how many times have I told you? If your going to sleep on it there wear clean clothes or the bed will get dirty Teaaam."
"Aaah okay fine! I remember. I'll go change" He said opening his suitcase on the ground and choosing his clothes. Win smiled at him "Awe you angry with me? We can shower together"
Team sent Win a glare and then closed his suitcase, sending it rolling to the side of the room he locked the bathroom door behind him but not before letting out a grumpy "Change alone!"
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Team stood infront of the bathroom mirror as he dabbed his hair with the towel. He scanned his reflection. The scars across his chest had refused to go. He lightly outlined one of them with his index finger. At the start he had really hoped that they would go away even after being told that they were most likely permanent but after a year and a half he had lost hope. They were going to stay there as a permanent reminder of what had happened.
Every once in a while when he looked at them he could feel the pain of that night coming back like a sudden shock or a in rhythm of pain before it would go away after a few minutes. But it was rare.
(Flashback :- )
Team was in his old bathroom, the one in P'Ahns house. Win had gone on a nine day trip with the swim team and wouldn't be back till tomorrow night. So instead of staying alone in the apartment he decided to come back here for a few days to stay with Ahn and her cats. Cats. His sister had adopted five cats from a shelter home in the span of the year he had moved to Hia Win's place! Not that he was complaining, he loved them all, they were all sweet.....exept the ginger one who had bit him after he finished feeding it on his first day there.
Team was sitting in the quarter full tub, weeping his eyes out. These random outbursts of pain and self hatred were starting to get frequent. He hated the scars. He loathed the way they were permanently marked on his skin. Every time he looked in the mirror and saw the hideous reflection of his chest he'd look away. Sometimes his mind was accepting towards them, sometimes he just ignored them but then out of the blue he would be so repulsed by them.
At first he had not minded them thinking that a few sessions with the doctors and time would make them fade away. But it didn't. They stayed there. Permanent. Prominent. Embedded on his skin. From the past three months he had refused to remove his shirt in front of Win or anyone, he had one on even while sleeping. He didn't tell anyone about the panic attacks or about how they made him feel.
Team knew that it was wrong, that he should go seek help but no matter how much he pleaded to himself to, he just couldn't gather up the courage to tell someone and reach out for help.
He wiped the tears away taking deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. He stood up and slowly wiped the water off himself before wearing his boxers and tying the towel around his waist. Team didn't dare look into the mirror as he twisted the doorknob, knowing all to well how he would look at the moment.
The skin on his arms and front were most likely red because of the scratching. He did that when the attacks got him really frustrated and angry, having no way to release the trapped emotions he'd end up clawing his body, being careful enough not to draw any blood. The marks were gone by the next day, all he had to do was apply moisturizing cream and wear a full sleeve shirt to cover them up.
He swung the door open and got out but froze mid step. His eyes widened in panic WHY WAS HIA HERE, IN HIS ROOM, SITTING ON HIS BED?!
Wins eyes widened on seeing him "Team!" He cried out. The Junior immediately went back in and slammed the bathroom door shut, locking it. Shit. What was he doing here? There was banging on the door "Team? Pao, open up!" Wins voice came in worried. All he had been able to see was his boyfriend come out red eyed and red skinned from the bathroom before the door had been slammed back shut.
"Hia! When did you come back?" Team asked from inside finally looking in the mirror and assessing his looks. Shit, it was impossible for Win not to have noticed the marks. Team looked around frantically for a top, but there were no clothes inside exept his shorts, which he immediately put on.
"The trip was cut short for some reason so i came to surprise you." Win answered, turning his voice into a calmer one "Open the door Team. Why did you go back in?"
"Hia... I'm not wearing anything. Go out, I'll change and come"
He heard Win sigh from outside "Okay. I don't know why you're acting shy but I'll go and wait outside. Come fast na. I missed you"
"Uh" Team answered relieved as he heard footsteps move away and the door to his room close. He waited for a few seconds with his ear against the door, there was no sound. He peered the door open, looking out, there was no one.
Team stepped into his room and was going to his door to lock it when he screamed. Win was standing right in front of him, with his back against the other side of the bathroom wall, hidden away from the doors view. Standing there he looked like a fucking ghost.
Team turned the other way, bending over with a hand over his pacing heart, that had fucking scared him. "Hia! Don't do that!" He half yelled, not wanting to turn around lest Win see his skin.
Before he could make a bolt for the bathroom door again though two hands looped themselves around his waist. They felt cool against his skin, Win pulled Team's back against his chest.
"Team..." The words came from behind his neck. He knew Win could probably see the red marks from above his shoulder. "...What happened?"
Win turned him around slowly, but before he could face completely him, Team pulled Win into a hug. Win hugged him back, squeezing the boys body between his arms. "Can we forget you saw this?" He heard Team whisperer in his ear. "No pao." Win answered, gently pulling back and looking into Team eyes before his gaze shifted to the angry scratch marks all over his collar bone and them back to his red eyes "Talk to me about it. What's wrong?"
"Nothing" He answered as a force of habit "If there's nothing wrong then what is this?" Win asked softly as he put a hand on Teams chest and moved further away to look at him.
But Team pulled their bodies closer immediately, he didn't want Win to look at the scars he had. HHe was scared Win might think he was....defected.
"Don't look" Team pleaded as tears brimmed his eyes. The very thought of Win looking at him with disgust hurt him to tears. He couldn't bear seeing that look on his face for him.
Win hugged team tightly when he saw the tears "Why pao? Please tell me na. What's wrong?" He bent down and lifted Team up from under both his thighs. The boy wrapped his legs around Wins waist, resting his chin on Wins shoulder.
Win sat on the bed with Team on his lap, "Just don't"
"But why?!!" Wins voice came out more irritated than he intended to sound.
That triggered Team why couldn't hia just listen to him?! He wanted to know why? FINE!
"BECAUSE THEY LOOK LIKE AN EYESORE OKAY?! THE SCARS WONT FUCKING FADE AWAY. I DON'T WANT YOU TO SEE THEM AND DISLIKE ME OKAY?! HAPPY?!" He yelled angrily, getting off Win to leave for his cupboard and get a shirt to wear.
Before he could take a second step though Win held his wrist and pulled him back onto his lap. Team tried to struggle away from him as Win wrapped his hands around the sides of Teams shoulders and held him in place "Don't say that pao..." Win pleaded burying his face in the crook of Teams neck "...Please dont say that"
Team stopped struggling when he heard the tone of Wins voice "You are the most precious person to me! Don't ever say that again.....never say I'll not like any part of you!" He lifted his head, finally making eye contact. Tears freely flowed down Teams face, seeing the sincerity in his lovers eyes. Win looked at his arms and chest, lightly touching one of the long red angry trails on his forearm
" I love you too much pao, I can never let you go" He sobbed
The boy in his arms broke eye contact, avoiding his gaze. Win hadn't come here expecting to see Team in this state, he had no idea anything was wrong. Win had wanted to surprise Team but he was thankful he had come when he had or else he might have missed what team had been doing for god knows how many days. Had he done this before? How long?
"Your think it's ugly now don't you?" Team wailed lowly wrapping his arms around wins neck, scared he would go away. "Nonsense!" Win growled as he made soothing circles on Teams back with his hand, his voice turned back soft "You are the most beautiful, worthy, special and perfect person I have ever seen Team. You might not see it yourself, but I do. You have no idea how damn important you are to me pao! You are gorgeous, these scars don't matter, they are too small to effect the way I look at you... " He grazed his thumb across Teams cheek, wiping the tears as they flowed down
".... Besides I have scars too right?" He spoke softly, lifting the hem of his shirt to expose the marks his wounds had left "Does it mean you dislike me for them? Does it disgust you when you see me?"
Team looked up, horrified at Win's suggestion "What? NO! No I could never hia-" He was silenced by Win caressing the pad of his thumb over his lips
"Then how could you think your scars will make me think any less of you?"
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After several minutes of coaxing, talking and peppering him with small kisses Win finally got him to tell about all that he had been feeling for the past months. Every word he said effected Win. How could he have missed that his nong was hurting like this? He felt bad at not seeing and doing something about this before. Win took the bottle of lotion and insisted on himself putting it on Team.
That day Win took him out to a park for the whole day to change the mood and it worked, both of them enjoyed themselves a lot. When they came back Win went to change his clothes as Team sat in front of the television.
A hand came from over his shoulder, holding out a card, it was Dr. Suttaya's. He had been Team's therapist in the past, the one who had helped him get over the toxic aftereffects of Kiet. Team turned to see P'Ahn leaning over the sofa behind him. He took the card confused "Why are you giving this to me?"
"Because someone didn't ask for it when they needed it" She said offering him a bowl of ice cream which he immediately took. Team turned red realising what she meant "w-what?"
Ahn smiled softly "I was walking down when I heard you screaming in the morning Team. Holding on to things always makes the pain worse, never better. It's not something you should hide from those who can help you. I'm not forcing you but just keep the card and book an appointment whenever you want."
"Thank you phi" He said keeping the card in his purse.
She placed a third ice cream bowl for Win on the table and sat beside Team with her own. "I love you, you fricking idiot so just think about me once before you say or do something like that to yourself again. And if someone says anything to you, tell me, I'll take it as my personal responsibility to slap them across their face" She said loud enough for him to hear while turning her face to the other side. Team hummed and starred at the screen, calming himself down before he got emotional. Win came down and after about an hour they went back up to their rooms to sleep.
Win was sprawled out on the bed when Team turned after changing his clothes "Move I don't have place to sleep" Team said nudging Win with his foot. The senior smiled back "Your not sleeping until you have that shirt on. If your sleeping with me take it off"
"Not happening" Team said crossing his arms in defiance.
Three minutes later Win was pulling the covers over a shirtless Team, he draped his arm over Teams side as he snuggled into him. He kissed his lovers forehead whispering a "So handsome" Into his ear.
Win was extra affectionate for a whole week from then on until Team finally had enough and told him off. Team barely got any time alone without Win standing beside or hugging or kissing him, even on campus Win shadowed Team when he could. He couldn't stay in the washroom for five minutes without Win knocking on the door with the petty excuse of having to use it.
(Flashback over :- )
Team chuckled remembering that time. Quite a few things had since then, for example; he had become a lot more body confident though he didn't go shirtless in public places like the beach or pool, he was comfortable with how he looked and the ginger cat (name: pumpkin) and him had become friends too.
There was this one time before that it hissed at him while he was there and he being the mature man he was, had hissed back........Ahn ended up pulling pumpkin away from him after it chased him around the house and jumped on top of him-
"Are you farming in there?!" Win knocked from outside breaking his trail of thoughts.
"I'm coming!" He called out quickly getting dressed in a casual white shirt and grey shorts. He came out to see win changed into casuals too. They went down to where the others were, it was already late today and they were all tired so they had dinner in the resorts restaurant and went back to their rooms.
This time when Team snuggled under covers Win joined him with a yawn. Team felt a peck on his cheek "goodnight" He smiled "goodnight". He nuzzled Wins cheek whispering "My Win"
"Only yours" Win responded with a chuckle.
Win though about how he wanted to grow old with Team. He didn't see a future without him in it, standing beside Win. Little did he know Team intended to take a small step towards that future of theirs very soon.....
☆*:. o(≧▽≦)o .:*☆
Okay, so my exams are going on and though I was planning to publish this chapter later I ended up stress writing and finishing it sooner.
Idk when the next one will come out, but it'll mostly be a week or so later.
Hope you all enjoyed this~
Vote and comment to let me know what you think.
◦•●◉✿Bye~✿◉●•◦
＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊