After an almost excruciatingly long morning, Jimin, god bless him, had somehow managed to wrangle Jungkook into taking a nap. How could he not? The poor thing was practically falling asleep at his desk with his head flopping into his hands.
Jimin couldn't just watch him slowly get more and more stressed...
I'll be honest, Jungkook gets stressed easily, and for the most part he hides is pretty well. Not right now though, he was just far too frustrated with all the huge words and long sentences and just ugh...
So Jimin made him sleep, which he'll whine about now but his body with thank him later.
Without Jungkook's pen scrawling on his paper, there really wasn't any noise in the apartment. It made Jimin's heart ache, the silence was so lonely. How could Jungkook even bear to live here with nothing but himself and his thoughts. For Jimin things are never silent - I mean I suppose he usually is the one making all the noise but that's not the point. However! Jimin had taken the empty apartment as a silent blessing and decided to pass the time doing something uh useful?
He's cuddled with Michi, read Jungkook's book on vampires, surprisingly well-informed Jimin thought as his dainty fingers flipped through the porcelain pages, he organised the cutlery (there was only two forks, a spoon and six knives so not much to organise) and alphabetised Jungkook's textbooks and then colour coded them. Like I said: useful.
Only then did Jungkook even get up, he really must have needed that nap.
"G'morning," Jimin says, "Again."
Jungkook sleepily nods, eyes focusing onto Jimin who is sitting at the table.
"What. The fuck."
Jimin cocks his head, hands momentarily stopping the origami he was making. Another thing he'd done whilst Jungkook was sleeping like the dead was make some origami, what can he say, he was a natural.
"Is that my english homework?" Jungkook asks, eyes blinking at the crane sitting on the table.
"Your english wha?"
You know what? Never mind.
He'll write it up again later.
He didn't really have the heart to tell Jimin to unfold his dainty little paper crane- actually he doesn't really have the heart to tell Jimin anything. Like how he'll have to do his own homework later.
Perhaps he'll tell him about it tomorrow-Jimin looks far too happy right now to introduce him to and throw him into a sudden hell.
Jungkook tickles Michi under the chin who should definitely not be standing on the table thank you very much, "Anyway hyung, I've got to go get Michi some more food, you want me to grab lunch for you?"
Normally, Jungkook gets Michi's cat food from the store he works at, it's small but it stocks the stuff so it's always nearby should Michi be yowling. God he hates that store, his manager sucks and the people suck and everything just fucking sucks.
But...he really doesn't mind his colleagues, there's Moonbin who is really helpful when stocking shelves and theres Eunwoo who helps him with awful customers (he's a complete pushover and can't say anything to anyone like...ever) so it's not all bad. Mostly. Honestly if he didn't need the money to pay for the ridiculous rent in his tiny apartment he would have left a long time ago.
Jimin doesn't particularly like shopping himself, Jin mostly does it for everyone; and sometimes Yoongi but not when he's uh fluffy.
But with Jungkook? A new experience.
"I'll come with you and get something for us," he beams, "Let me get my coat one second."
I mean sure come if you want?
Jungkook does the same, fumbling for his own coat- it's the one Jaebum gifted him a couple years ago and still remains the only coat he has in his possession. Could he ask his parents for some cash and buy himself as many coats as he wants? Yes. But will he? No. Jungkook doesn't need them. Jimin's eyes flicker briefly away, smile curling fondly as he watches Jungkook pull the sleeves over his arms, the coat is much too big, he looks like he's wrapped in a blanket being enveloped in the black fabric.
Jimin tries not to giggle whilst he slips on his shoes-he can tell Jungkook is struggling to zip his coat up, "Here let me help."
He reaches for the zip, fixing the problem smoothly, there, nice and warm.
"Thank you," Jungkook mumbles, nodding his head, wow did he really just struggle to zip up his own coat?
He slips his shoes on too, making sure he can actually tie his laces to save him the embarrassment.
There's a slight spot of rain in the sky as the two leave the building but nothing torrential so they should be fine.
It's windy though- so Jimin brushes his hair back as he walks down the path. Jimin is just so fucking perfect - the way he runs a hand through his thick hair exuding pure confidence. Jungkook can't help but feel slightly jealous...in comparison he's bleak and introverted. His hair is dull and thin as it falls over his eyes. They're polar opposites and yet Jimin doesn't mind. He watches Jungkook totter beside him with utter fondness all the same.
They end up having to take the bus, it's a first for Jimin who always has a doting hyung to give him a ride whenever he wishes. He's not quite sure how they work but it's all cleared up when Jungkook shows him how. By the time he's getting his ticket he had mentally recited exactly what he should to the bus driver.
With that they take their seats.
As per usual, Jungkook isn't saying much, just staring. Like he usually does.
"You still tired?" Jimin asks.
"No," Jungkook tells him blearily, "Just got a headache."
Sympathetically, Jimin pats his shoulder, "It'll help when we get some lunch okay?"
Jungkook's a little distracted by the twisting in his stomach to realise what he's nodding to, he can't tell if the coiling feeling is due to motion sickness or the usual ailments.
Whatever.
"Hyung this is our stop," Jungkook says, dragging Jimin's gaze away from the bright yellow hand rail he seemed to be so weirdly interested by.
Jimin is almost sad to get off the bus, he's rather enjoyed the experience but it's nice to get some fresh air- however the outside is furiously cold and he's sure his nose will turn a patchy red soon enough.
They grab a basket, they're gonna need it with all the cat food they're buying.
"So what now?" Jimin asks.
The lines of people waiting to be served move soul-crushingly slow and he can't help but think it's going to be as equally soul-crushingly boring.
"I've got to get Michi's food and then I'll get some lunch for you," Jungkook tells him.
Jungkook seems to know his way around well...but that does make sense as he works here. He spends no time getting distracted by random items on sale or colourful displays (which can't be said for Jimin).
They're walking through the fruit aisle which looks really appetising and Jungkook almost wishes he had the money to spend on fresh fruit but alas, Michi is the priority-and Jimin today.
Jimin, who likes the fact all the fruit is organised in a rainbow, is thoroughly enjoying the shopping experience. The music though? His ears are bleeding. But despite that (plus the fact it was freezing in here) he was enjoying himself. What can he say, he's not really used to these seemingly simple things.
Jungkook's putting a box of tea leaves into the basket whilst Jimin is wandering off somewhere..
Bending down, Jungkook wrinkles his nose at the pricier boxes of tea. Should he stick with his standard cheap shit or get something more worthwhile? He turns the boxes over in his cold hands, head tilted slightly as he goes over his options. Why was he born so indecisive.
"Kook?"
Oh fuck who is that?
Don't turn don't turn don't turn.
He turned, damn it!
"Ah Jaebum hyung..." Jungkook replies as he forces a smile.
Beaming, Jaebum strides over, smile on his face, "Where've you been, you missed all my calls this morning - and Yugyeom's. You two are okay right?"
Jungkook nods, eyes wandering to make sure Jimin is still around because who knows where he could be wandering off to in this big big store in this big big world. He's only a little little Jimin.
"Yeah, just busy because a friend is staying at mine for a little."
Jaebum eyes him curiously, for some reason Jungkook feels scrutinised under his gaze, "It's not another stranger right?"
"No," he answers flatly, damn is that really what Jaebum was thinking, "Friend from my class."
He won't lie, he feels a little bit upset that Jaebum would think that about him...
On another note, where even is Jimin?
"One second, I dunno where he's gone, Jimin hyung?"Jungkook calls, eyes flitting to the aisle Jimin was in last.
He hears a small 'huh' two aisles to the right.
Found him.
Two seconds later, Jimin's head pokes around the corner of the makeup aisle because the lip gloss colours were very very pretty-Taehyung would love all the vibrant, vivacious colours.
He bounces over whilst eyeing the unknown man talking to Jungkook. Well-unknown to him, not unknown to Jungkook.
Jimin (giving his famous eye-smile) engulfs Jungkook into a back hug, it's tight. Very tight...almost as if Jimin felt as if Jungkook was threatened. "Hiya Kook! Oh. Jungkook who is this man? You know him? Is he bothering you?"
The tone of Jimin's voice is dripping with faux friendliness, a sickly sweet string of words passing over his lips.
Jungkook sends his sight heavenwards, "This is my Jaebum hyung, he's not a stranger hyung you don't have to hold me like you're about to eat me."
Jimin giggles, he doesn't let go though, why would he, hugging Jungkook from the back is a very pleasant experience and he doesn't even mind being on his tippy-toes to get his arms over Jungkook's shoulders.
"Well I'm Jimin, nice to meet you."
Well it certainly doesn't seem like they're enjoying meeting each other. The grip around Jungkook is tightening and Jaebum seems to be looking Jimin up and down in a not so friendly way.
"I'm Jaebum, Jungkook's hyung , nice to meet you too," Jaebum smiles, stuffing his hands in his pockets, "Anyway Kook, I won't keep you, enjoy your day- it was nice to meet you Jimin-ssi."
Jaebum nods as he leaves, eyeing Jimin suspiciously, there's something odd about the way his pallid skin glistens and his eyes darken at the iris-but honestly, as long as Jungkook's happy he's happy.
Jimin let's go, feeling as if his public display of affection has accomplished the intended purpose, "That everything we need?"
Jungkook nods, "I think that's everything we need," he answers.
He utters all the things off his list of items he needed to buy and checks they're all sat stuffed in the basket. Yep. All there.
Jimin finds that the next part of the shopping experience is not so fun. Waiting in line. He's done this before in clothes shops and has his feelings changed? No he still hates it. So boring...
He helps to put everything onto the conveyor, wow Jungkook sure did buy a lot of tea.
Also, Jungkook seems to know the cashier. She's rather short, long hair that's tied into two little bunches at the back of her head, wearing her bangs in a way that makes them flop over her eyes and come down her face in a choppy look.
They're talking and chatting and doing whatever. Talking about work. Boring...
"Oh I forgot to mention your next shift is putting you on shelving tomorrow by the way, manager needs the extra staff," she adds, swiping the salad Jungkook bought for his lunch through the machine, "You think you can handle it?"
Jungkook scoffs, "It's just shelving of course I can, are you gonna be working tomorrow too?"
She nods, groaning at the same time because the utter thought of working yet another shift is almost nauseating, "I'm in the back tomorrow so no dealing with customers for me which I suppose is a little blessing."
Jungkook whines, "Lucky, my arms are gonna be so achy afterwards, shelving, really? He knows I can't do anything..."
The cashier laughs, "God stop pouting Jungkook-ah, you look like my little brother."
That makes him pout even more, "I will not be seeing you tomorrow."
He's joking don't worry.
He makes a show of packing the bags angrily but can't help but smile, she knows he's joking and that's what makes it fun.
"Yeah and who are you gonna talk to instead, your vampire boyfriend?"
He clutches his chest in fake shock, "The sarcasm was so unneeded."
Nobody notices how Jimin tenses.
Yep. What a fun shopping trip.
The ride home is equally as fun even though now they have to carry shopping bags and the handles look suspiciously weak and ready to split.
"Hey hyung?"
Jimin hums, letting Jungkook open the door.
"Do you know you have homework to do?"
"I have wha?"
Oh god.
They'll talk about this later.
—————
"And that! That is why I'm so mad," Jimin huffs.
Like a typical display of frustration he (not-so-scarily) crosses his arms.
Jungkook nods along, half focused on Jimin's very long story and half focused on his english revision for the Paper 1 exam coming up in a month.
"Why don't you text him and see if it's okay back at your house?" Jungkook suggests whilst he notes down a feature of the extract he's studying.
"Hyung never really checks his phone, he's always holed away in his studio doing whatever he's doing..."
"Oh does he sing?" Jungkook inquires, now that he thinks about it, Yoongi has a really soft voice that would be perfect for music.
Jimin shakes his head and pulls out his phone, "He raps mostly, Jin hyung and Tae are the singers."
His fingers rapidly type in the google search bar, nails clinking against the glass as he clicks on a video, "Here."
Jungkook shuts his book and shuffles closer to the blinking black screen.
Now he's fully focused on this. The video plays at a soft volume and only lasts for fifteen seconds give or take a little but it leaves Jungkook stunned either way...
"I didn't know he could rap like that!"
Smiling, Jimin nods his head eagerly, he looks so prideful knowing Yoongi is his hyung and his hyung is downright amazing. They've been close for as long as Jimin can remember...all the late-night talks, holding hands as they huddle on the sofa together, carding softly through each others hair. Jimin's happiest memories are of Yoongi.
"I love him so much," Jimin mumbles, "He's always been there for me."
Suddenly, Jimin's gaze turns forlorn and sombre.
He turns to Jungkook and brings his knees to his chest, "You know, he's the whole reason I'm here."
"It was a long time ago now," Jimin recounts solemnly.
He glances at the ceiling with his eyes glazed in a heavy, dreamy gloss. With a sharp intake of breath he hugs his knees to his chest as a bitter smile creeps onto his face.
"My parents kicked me out when I was fifteen, being well...like me wasn't acceptable to them," he confesses, "Before that they did everything they could to make me feel like I wasn't human, like I was a monster."
"They would lock me in my bedroom for days and beg God to forgive me for being gay," he starts, eyes already becoming glassy at the mere memory, "Being Christians they did nothing but pray to God to 'fix me'. I was the worst thing that happened to them."
He starts to laugh darkly like he couldn't comprehend his own emotions, "They had this big like...bucket. My mother would fill it with holy water some days."
He pauses and corrects himself.
"Most days she would fill it with holy water and she would hold my head under the water."
The corners of his eyes dampen as his lip trembles, he doesn't even know why he's telling Jungkook any of this. He's just so hurt and all these emotions are bubbling over the edge. He feels so ridiculous, stomach in knots over something that happened years ago.
"My own Mother, my own fucking Mother was so desperate to stop me liking men she would try and drown me."
He runs a shaky hand through his hair as more grim laughter falls over his lips, "It's funny isn't it? She tortured, starved and isolated me from the whole world. I thought I was going to die. She would pour salt over my food to fucking poison me, she wanted me gone. I still have all the wonderful wonderful scars where she would put out her cigarettes on my skin"
He starts to fidget with his hands, fingers interlocking.
"So I ended up on the streets when she had enough of me," Jimin adds, his voice trembles as he does so, "I was digging through hyung's trash when he saw me, I thought he was gonna get angry and yell but he didn't."
Jimin blinks away some tears that had gathered on his bottom lash. Now his eyes are bloodshot, gaze not quite knowing where to fall.
"Y'know what he did?" Jimin asks, although he doesn't require any answer.
"He gave me a hug."
"He sat on the wet ground and just held me as I sobbed," Jimin's voice breaks, "He just fucking hugged me. Didn't ask any questions, didn't get mad at me. He just held me."
Jungkook doesn't know how to reply. He really really doesn't know how to reply.
"He just took me in after that - now I'm here."
All Jungkook can mumble is a feeble 'hyung...". He doesn't know what to do, Jimin just looks so small and fragile right now almost as if he was a china doll. A small, hurt, terrified china doll. Jungkook can't even imagine how hurt he is, how long it took to open up to anyone after that.
"Yoongi hyung is such a good person, even after everything he's been through too," Jimin states as his little hands wipe away tears, "I dunno how he does it. Even when he's all fucked up because of his shit ton of medication side effects or he's just having one of those days where everything is going wrong...he never fails to try and make himself seem okay. He never wants to worry anyone."
Jimin continues, "Sometimes I hear him in the bathroom being sick, all the pills make him nauseous. I wait outside for him and he just...he just looks so tired. But he always tries to smile at me. I think that's why I got so upset...sometimes he stops taking them because they leave him physically ill and it hurts him. How could Jin hyung get mad at him for that? Why would everyone yell at him?"
Jungkook takes a hold of Jimin's hand and thumbs over his knuckles. Having just watched his hyung spill out the most soul-destroying story he years to just scoop him up in a hug and never let him go.,
Jungkook tucks a stray hair behind Jimin's ear, "Maybe they got upset because they're scared...maybe they think if he stops taking them he'll do something that will hurt a lot more."
The tears finally start to fall and Jimin just collapses into Jungook's chest. He can't take it anymore, he doesn't want to feel like this anymore, he doesn't want to live such a cursed life. He buries his face in Jungkook's neck and bunches up the cloth of his hoodie in his hands.
"I wish I was normal," Jimin rasps out, "Then people wouldn't have to deal with me."
He buries himself into Jungkook's neck impossibly further. His chest aches so much it feels like it's going to cave in on itself. Then it would just leave a huge gaping hole. Just a large empty abyss. Maybe he deserves it. Maybe he deserves to live a damned life full of agonising turmoil. Maybe he isn't meant to live at all.
He thinks he's happy. Jimin truly does. But then the sleepless nights come rolling in like thick, suffocating smoke and he knows he isn't. He isn't happy. He's hurt. He's so hurt.
Nothing can help when he doesn't want to be helped.
"Why am I so wrong?" Jimin whimpers, " What did I do to make everyone hate me?"
Jungkook can't give him an answer.