****Willow's POV****
To take my mind off the whole Miles situation I have been spending these last few days with Ollie and Gareth, I'm in awe of how they've kept so positive despite the massive hurdles they've faced and we've had so much fun together, trying to keep me entertained. I had to explain to them though what happened before they heard it from someone else and they completely agreed with my decision so I have no regrets about what I said.
Today however I am meeting Liv, Robbie, Julius and Fred for brunch, thankfully without the third member of their trio but I did want to explain my side of the story to them so we can be civil.
"How are you finding living with Liv?" I asked Robbie as we all got served.
"He's good with the positive vibes and I'm teaching him how one lives without his parents." Liv answered for him.
"Well that's good because I like to think of Liv as this sponge," Fred explained. "You absorb what's around you so you need to be around good people. Probably a weird analogy to use but I'm going to go with it."
"We haven't seen a lot of Inga these past few days though." Robbie commented. "I think she's going through a tough time at the moment so she's been distancing herself from others."
"I'm meeting with her tonight actually, hopefully I can kind of get to the bottom of how she's feeling." Liv said. "But another with out drama, Willow, how are you?"
"Well I'm guessing you all heard what happened, I think from my point of view these last few days have given me that closure I need, I was kid of feeling guilty about it but at the same time I know we couldn't continue in the way that we were."
"I like you two together but I think this could be almost a test for you both, have you been thinking about him?"
"It sounds harsh but not too much, maybe like at night when I go to text him goodnight, but that's mostly because I've been keeping myself busy. I almost haven't had the time to think about him in and be moping around after him." I said honestly, turning to face the duo. "What I did want to say though is I hope this doesn't effect us, I know you're close with Miles but I do really value your friendship and I don't want this to be awkward."
"Never." Julius confirmed. "I don't think I'd have any friends in Chelsea if I held a grudge over all my friends' exes."
"The thing is, I've told Miles that I think he was in the wrong and you made the right decision, you have nothing to feel bad about." Fred added. "Plus it would be quite hard avoiding you at every event."
"Thanks guys. I think all my tears are gone now so hopefully it can only get better from here."
"You sound like me." Liv said. "Things have been so up and down with Tristan lately that I feel like I'm either laughing or crying, but then for some reason I find it hard not to speak to him."
"Do you still feel that pain towards him?"
"Yeah, I can't work out like how would things be different if one of us had moved away and I wouldn't have to see him at every party. But then I get asked out by other guys and I don't know if that's because I still have feelings for Tristan or because I just don't want to date but he's now going away for a few days so hopefully I can clear my head a bit."
"Where's your head at with the whole Nicole messaging thing?"
"I get that what he did was wrong and it did hurt me but I'm trying to look at the bigger picture here and I do love him."
"The one crucial thing though would be that if this is a new beginning for you both, it has to be a new slate." I told her.
"But then I'm not sure I can forget about some of those things."
"I know you're in love with him but you also have to remember why you didn't work." Julius said.
"That just complicates things even further because I know that's going to be the main opinion everyone has on the situation and maybe I'm not allowing myself to look at it like that but I just can't see that argument at the moment. It's all just so complicated. "Liv looked off into the distance, tears glistening as she stared out the window. "So complicated."
****
Harvey was holding a launch for his new beer brand that night and I had politely accepted his invitation, he and Emily had broken up that past week so I was a bit miffed to see him partying and all happy but that was definitely a time to mind my own business.
"I've got to admit I'm more of a wine glass girl than a tin can girl but I guess this will have to do." I'd joked to Harvey when I saw him, it's always good to see your friends accomplish their plans.
"How you feeling honey?" Sam asked as I sat down with him in the corner of the room, I'd seen him speaking to Rez but when they separated he caught me eye and pulled me over for a catch up. "I feel like we haven't been 1 on 1 in a while."
"I know, I feel like I'm being interviewed, but I don't know I have my good days and bad days."
"Miles?"
"Yeah, I guess, I think it's just like an overall assessment of how my life has being going up to this point?"
"What do you mean?"
"Just like I feel like I'm never going to be enough for a guy and I know I put on this brave face, like in front of Liv the other day I had tell her she'll find someone but then I just look at myself and I don't understand how I got into this position."
"You're 26, you're not old."
"I know but I just always had this image of growing up with a guy and naturally falling in love and I feel like that might not happen."
"How did it get to this point? Like I thought you were fine with the whole Miles situation."
"I guess it's just, when I was speaking to Liv earlier she mentioned about how Tristan's been keeping in touch with her, he can't leave her alone and I'm like 'we dated for so much longer than them', like why didn't he put that much effort into me. When we broke up he went away and got himself sorted and just moved on. Then the next guy I go for decides to flirt with his ex before we've even made it official. Be honest like am I doing something wrong."
"Honestly, no. It's easy just to say 'yes' and talk about how you're picking the bad guy over the good guy who will treat you right but you can't help who you like and you're just being honest in that situation. But I'll tell you the same thing as I told Liv because you will find that person who's going to sweep you off your feet and fall madly in love with and it might not be how you imagined and it might not be love at first sight but you'll find that guy who makes all these heartbreaks worth it." Sam leaned over and pulled me into a hug. "But we need a plan now."
"What do I do with Miles? I've left it in like a limbo situation?"
"What do you want to happen?"
"I want to keep my options open, maybe I let myself get wrapped up in Miles and I forget that there isn't just one single guy in Essex."
"Maybe you need to go on a blind date." Sam's eyes lit up when he thought of that idea. "That's such a good idea."
"I'm not going on a blind date."
"Why not?"
"Because knowing your friends they haven't got a very good track record."
"I promise I've got a guy in mind right now, he's great, he's got goals, great personality, very good looking, great in bed from what I've heard."
"Sam!"
"That's what I've heard."
"Do you promise he's not like a random mass serial killer?"
"I promise he's not, I can see you two working out." He promised.
"You don't think this is too soon do you, I don't want to have people talking about it as if I've jumped from one bed to the other?"
"With all due respect to Miles I don't think he deserves any respect from you and even though it was promising, you two never made it official. I don't think he's got anything to be annoyed at."
"Good."
"And if anyone does say anything, send them to me." He puffed his chest out, flexing his biceps.
"Sam we all know you haven't got a hard bone in your whole body, you could never fight anyone."
"I would for you, so are you in?"
"I'm in."
****
To have a little bit of fun a sports day had been arranged for us to all get involved in, I can't say I'm very good but I had a go and the competitive side to me did come out once or twice.
"I really can't say I cared about that." Liv commented as she sat with Ollie, Fred and I. "I was rubbish but still."
"I'm kind of the opposite, I'm really competitive but rubbish which does not make for a good combination."
"Yeah you really came through for the reds." Fred teased as he had been on the winning side.
"It is nice for everyone to come together and have a bit of fun through, Inga seemed to be in good spirits."
"I thought I saw her and Digby together the other week," Fred commented. "Do you think anything may come of that? Like with your friendship loyalties and everything?"
"I don't personally think so, not that she's not into him because I haven't asked her that but I don't think she's into men generally, I think she wants to pursue women."
"Plot twist!"
"I know."
"How did you find last night?" Fred asked.
"I'm not a big fan of beer but I enjoyed myself, kind of had a little panic to Sam but I think I'm in a better place right now." I answered.
"A panic?" Ollie seemed curious.
"I think I just wanted a bit of support coming from a guy who's been involved in these things and he really did help, gave me some comfort about the whole Miles situation so I think I can start to move forward now."
"Is that with Miles?"
"I don't know, I think right now I just need to focus on myself and not him, go on a few dates and just see what happens."
"That's the spirit."
"Well as much as I've loved being in the spirit with you all," Liv commented. "Tristan got back to London today and he's just messaged me saying he wants to see me, so I am going to see him."
"That sounds healthy." Ollie made a subtle dig.
"Well it's just hard and I know so much has happened but I love him and I know he loves me."
"I've just loved watching you these last few months without Tristan, it's a completely different you and I felt like we had you back."
"But that's on the outside, behind closed doors I've been crying myself to sleep."
"But that's a break up." Ollie argued.
"Yes it is but..."
"The easiest thing is to get back with each other."
"Of course it is."
"In a relationship that wasn't working."
"But it's more than that, I think I can see a future with him, I don't know I can see you all thinking I'm an idiot."
"We're not." I confirmed.
"But I do and I worry that everyone's going to say that."
"I just wished you'd have pushed through." Ollie commented.
"But I don't want anyone else, I've been speaking to other guys but I don't want to sleep with any of them. Tristan has something that I can't move on from. I don't know, I appreciate you all but I have to do this for me otherwise it will be stuck with me, so I'll see you soon ."
"See you later darling."
We watched her walk inside, out of hearing distance before one of us commented. "I'm not sure that's right."
I didn't quite feel like joining the rest of the group so I stayed with the boys, the chat now turning a bit dull after that conversation, before Tiff and Inga joined us.
"Hey, where's Liv?" Tiff asked.
"Erm, she's gone home."
"Why?"
"Because she has gone to go and see Tristan."
"She's left here to go and see Tristan, why?"
"I don't know, because she loves him."
"What has she just said that?" Tiff asked, confusion etched on both of their faces.
"No, no, no." Inga said. "After the whole Nicole situation, surely that was the final straw."
"It's not even the Nicole situation, it's the whole relationship." Tiff continued. "They had arguments continuously."
"I can't believe she can't see it though."
"I don't get why she can't"
"It didn't work, I just think it's wrong to go back there."
"Not many people know this but just before Christmas, when we were together he had been messaging girls behind my back. She doesn't know this." I told them. "I made a mistake and took him back and look where it got me, I just think she's making a mistake here. One that could break her."
"I agree."
****Author's Note****
I hope you like this chapter.
Sorry for the short chapter this week. Who will this blind date be with?
Please vote and comment any suggestions.
Xx