As sidney and Jake went inside the house as they see Billy still alive As he tumbles down the stairs as sidney and Jake go over to him
Sidney: oh! Billy Billy
Jake: Jesus thank God you're okay man
Billy: I'm okay
Sidney: we thought you were dead
Billy: no I'm like a stuck pig but I'm all right
Jake: get up
(As the two help him up )
Billy: I'm okay
Sidney: you're bleeding
Billy: we've got to get help
Sidney: no he's out there!
Billy: no give me the gun it's okay it's okay it's okay
(As Billy opens the door as Randy runs in)
Randy: please help me!
Billy: come in come in! (As Billy closed the door)
Randy: stu's flipped out! He's gone mad
Billy: we all go a little mad sometimes
(As Billy points the gun at Randy)
Sidney: Billy wait
Jake: Billy don't!
Randy: oh fuck
(As Billy shoots him and Randy falls down as sidney and Jake went to check him )
Billy: Anthony Perkins psycho
(As Billy licks the blood from his finger)
Corn syrup same stuff they used for pigs blood in Carrie
(As Jake and sidney figures out that Billy is the killer as they try to run but are stopped by stu )
Sidney: stu help us please
Stu: (as he takes out a voice boxs to sound like ghostface) surprise sidney Jake
(As sidney and Jake also figures out stu is working with Billy)
Sidney: no
Jake: shit
(As Jake grabbed sidney's hand and tried to run but are stopped by Billy)
Billy: oh now whoa
(As stu throws Billy the voice box )
Billy: what's the matter guys you both look like you've both seen a ghost
Jake: why are you doing this
Stu: it's all part of the game guys
Billy: it's called (using the voice box) guess how I'm gonna die!
Sidney: fuck you
Billy: no no no no we already played that game remember
(As stu takes the gun and gives Billy a knife as Billy points it at sidney and Jake)
Billy: you lost and you (looking at Jake)
You just had to show up here we were going to deal with you after all of this but now we can use you as a fall guy
Jake: go to hell
Stu: it's a fun game see we ask you a question and if you get it wrong bam
You die
Billy: you get it right you die
Sidney: you're crazy both of you
Stu: actually we prefer the term psychotic
Jake: you'll never get away with this
Billy: oh no tell that to cotton weary you wouldn't believe how easy he was to Frame
Stu: watch a few movies take a few notes it was fun (chuckles)
Sidney: no (sobbing) why (slams counter) why did you kill my mother
Billy: why why! Did hear that stu I think they both want a motive I don't really believe in motive guys I mean did Norman bates have a motive
Stu: no
Billy: did they ever really decide why Hannibal lecter liked to eat people
Don't think so! See it's a lot scarier when there's no motive
We did your mom a favor sid that woman was a slut bag whore
Who flashed her shit all over town like she was Sharon stone or something
Stu: yeah we put her out of her misery cause let's face it Sidney your mother was no Sharon stone hmm
Billy: is that motive enough for you
How about this your slut mother was fucking my father and she's the reason my mom moved out and abandoned me
How's that for a motive maternal abandonment causes serious deviant behavior it certainly fucked you up
It made (looking at sidney) you have sex with a psychopath
Stu: that's right you gave it up now you're no longer a virgin oooh!
I said virgin whoops! (As Billy holds sidney by the neck with the knife) now you got to die those are the rules
Billy: (looking at jake) although Jake here did nothing but stick by your side
Talk about true friendship but that's not just what you want is it Jacob
Jake: what the hell are you talking about
Stu: how you have a crush on your best friend if I were you I'd tell her before she's gone
Jake: sid I
Sidney: Jake it's okay I like you too
Billy: aw so sweet but back to business let's pretend it's all a scary movie guys
How do you think it's gonna end
Stu: oh! Oh! This is the greatest part! You're gonna love this we got a surprise for you sidney (puts the gun on the table) yeah you're gonna love this one it's a scream baby! Hold on a sec I'll be right back
(Moans as he goes into the garage to get some thing )
Billy: you know what Time it is sid it's after midnight it's your mom's anniversary congratulations we killed her one year ago today
Jake: fuck you loomis
Stu: attention! Oh what do we have behind door number three sidney
(As stu brings in a tied up earl Prescott sidney's father)
Sidney: daddy!
Billy: whoa hold it that's enough
Stu: (grabs the voice box and speaks into it) guess we won't be needing this anymore uh-huh (puts it in Mr. Prescotts jacket) and oh look at this ring ring won't need this (As he also puts the phone in his pocket) got the ending figured out yet guys come on sid think about it now huh your daddy's the chief suspect we cloned his cellular the evidence is all right there baby
Billy: what if you're father snapped
Your mother's anniversary set him off and he recruited our little Jakie here as a partner and they both went on a murder spree killing everyone
Stu: except for Billy and me we were left for dead then he kills you and Jake then shoots himself in the head perfect ending
Stu: I thought of that
Billy: watch this
(As Billy walks up to stu with the knife)
Billy: ready
Stu: yeah yeah! I'm ready baby! Get up! Hit it
(As Billy stabs stu in the stomach)
Stu: good one man Jesus my turn
(Billy gives stu the knife)
Billy: don't forget stay to the side and don't go too deep
Stu: okay I'll remember
(As stu stabs Billy in the same spot Billy stabed stu)
Billy: aaah! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Goddammit stu!
Stu: sorry Billy I guess I got a little too zealous huh
Billy: give me the knife
Stu: no
Billy: give me the knife! Now!
(As stu gives Billy the knife back)
Stu: you see guys everybody dies but us everybody dies but us we got to carry on and plan the sequel cause let's face it baby! These days ya gotta have a sequel!
(As Billy slices stu's arm)
Jake: you both are sick fucks
Sidney: you've seen one too many movies
Billy: now sid don't blame the movies
Movies don't create psychos movies make psychos more creative!
(As Billy cuts stu again)
Stu: (grunt) stop it Billy would you all right I can't take anymore I feel a little woozy here!
Billy: all right all right you get the gun
I'll untie pops okay now!
Stu: okay
(As stu walks over to where he left the gun and sees it's not there )
Stu: um uh Houston we we have a problem here
Billy: what
Stu: the gun man the gun I put it right there and it's not there
(As Billy walks over to see )
Billy: where the fuck is it
Gale: right here asshole
(As gale is holding the and points it at Billy and stu)
Billy: man I thought she was dead
Stu: she looked dead still does
Gale: I've got an ending for you The reporter left for dead in the news van comes to stumbles on you two dipshits finds the gun foils your plan and saves the day
Sidney: I like that ending
Jake: yeah much better ending
Billy: (looking at Gale) I know something you don't
(As gale trys to shoot but the gun won't go off )
Gale: fuck no!
(As Billy pushes gale to the post on the porch as she lands on Dewey knocking her out as Billy walks up to her and grabs the gun)
Stu: yeah man
Billy: aw so sweet it works better without the safety on this is gale weathers signing off
Stu: you two are gonna love this!
(As stu looks where Sidney and Jake should be but they're not there )
Stu: shit
Billy: what
(As they go into the kitchen to see sidney and Jake and the tied up earl Prescott are gone )
Billy: where are they where are they
Stu: I don't know but I'm hurtin man
(As the phone rings)
Billy: fuck!
Stu: shall I let it the machine get it
(As Billy answered the phone)
Billy: hello
Sidney: (using the voice box) are you alone in the house
Billy: bitch! You bitch! Where the fuck are you two
Jake: (using the voice box) not so fast we're gonna play a little game it's called guess who just called the police and reported your motherfucking ass
Billy: (telling stu) find them you dipshit
Get up
Stu: I can't Billy you cut me too deep
I think I'm dying here man
Billy: (hands stu the phone ) talk to them talk to them
Stu: hello
Sidney: oh stu stu stu what's your motive Billy's got one the police are on their way what are you gonna tell them
Stu: peer pressure I'm far too sensitive
(As Billy grabs the phone from stu)
Billy: I'm gonna rip you and your new boyfriend up you bitch! Just like your fucking mother
Sidney: you've got to find us first you pansy assed mama's boy!
(As she hangs up on the phone they're calling them from in the house)
Billy: fuck!
(As Billy throws the phone at stu)
Stu: ow you fuckin hit me with the phone dick!
Billy: Fucker's where are you
(As Billy was searching the house as he was cutting up the couch looking for them)
Billy: aaah! Bitch!
(As Billy looked in the closet and sidney dressed in the Ghostface custom stabs Billy in his stabed wound with an umbrella as stu ran out and tackled her as Jake tried to help as he jumped on stu's back as the three rolled into the living room)
Stu: I always had a thing for ya sid!
Jake: hey fat chance fucker
(As sidney moved out of the way as they both pushed the tv on stu's head killing him )
As they walked into the hall where Billy's unconscious body is as sidney looked at the mask then Randy woke up scaring them both
Randy: sorry
Sidney: it's okay
Jake: holy shit Randy your alive
Sidney: we thought you were dead
Randy: I probably should be I never thought I'd be so happy to be a virgin
(As Billy wakes up and punches randy and stabs Jake in the leg )
Billy: fucker
(As Billy gets on top of sidney and trys to strangle her)
Billy: say hello to your mother
(As sidney puts her finger in his bullet hole making him scream in pain as he was about to stab sidney gale shot him and he falls down as sidney got up and randy as she went to help Jake as he was holding pressure on his leg as sidney took the gun from gale as the four walked over to Billy body)
Gale: guess I remembered the safety that time you bastard
Randy: careful this is the moment when the supposedly dead killer comes back to life for one last scare
(As Billy wakes for a second then sidney shots him in the head )
Sidney: not in my movie
(As a loud crashing noise scared them turns out it was earl Prescott still tied up and falls on the ground)
Sidney: dad Jake Randy help me out here
As they untied him and police and ambulances showed up as Dewey was still alive and being taken to the hospital As sidney walked over to Jake who was just finished getting sewed back up in his leg
Sidney: hey
Jake hi
Sidney: how's the leg
Jake: (chuckles) hurts like hell but other than that fine
Sidney: I just wanted to say thank you
Jake: you're welcome thou this might be the blood loss but thank you for what exactly
Sidney: for always sticking by me through everything
Jake: hey always (As he holds sidney's hand as they smile to each other)
Sidney: so do you mind if I try something
Jake: yeah go ahead
(As she kisses him on the lips as backs away to see his reaction)
Jake: wow as much as I really want to keep doing that how about we go get some breakfast first as a first date
Sidney: I would love that
(As Jake put his arm around sidney as they were walking away as gale was reporting on what happened)
The end
Now onto scream 2