⚠️TW⚠️- insecurities
"Hey, how are you?" Fred asks, sweetly placing his hand on my thigh in the Great Hall.
"I'm fine"
"No, you're not. I know you better than that, you know" Fred says.
I sigh, then turn to Fred, rubbing my face with my hands and breathing heavily.
"I started seeing the man that tried to kill me during the World Cup. And then I saw Cedric. And then a wound on my leg. The same one I had then" I say, looking down.
Fred pulls my gaze up with his fingers and kisses my lips sweetly. I instantly kiss back and smile, slowly pulling back.
"Are you okay?" Fred asks.
"I am now. I'm so grateful for you, Fred. I love you"
"Love you" Fred says, pecking my lips.
~~~~~
"Well, how was it?" Hermione asks Harry about his kiss with Cho.
"Wet. I mean, she was sort of crying" Harry admits.
"That bad at it, are you?" Ron jokes.
"I'm sure Harry's kissing was more than satisfactory" Hermione says quickly. "Besides, Cho spends half her time crying these days"
"You'd think a bit of snogging would cheer her up" Ron jokes, chuckling a little.
"Don't you understand how she must be feeling?" Hermione asks, and pauses as she waits for Ron to answer, but he doesn't "Well, obviously she's feeling sad about Cedric... and confused about liking Harry and guilty about kissing him... conflicted because Umbridge might sack her mum from the Ministry... and frightened of failing her OWLs because she's worrying about everything else" Hermione says.
"One person couldn't feel all that. They'd explode" Ron says.
"Just because you've got the emotional range of a teaspoon..." Hermione starts.
Harry smiles as I stifle a laugh, but I can't, all of us starting to laugh. I hold my stomach as I lean forwards, laughing my head off at everything.
~~~~~
I wake up in the middle of the night, having a feeling in the pit of my stomach.
It's telling me something is wrong, so I get up and sigh lightly, turning into a white wolf and quietly walk down the Slytherin common room, leaving.
I walk around, but realise I'm in front of Dumbledore's office, tilting my head to the side.
I turn into myself and walk up the stairs of the statue, confused on why it's there.
"In the dream, were you standing next to the victim... or looking down at the scene?" Dumbledore asks, and I walk in, seeing all the Weasley's, Harry and professor McGonagall.
"Neither. It was like I... will you
please just tell me what's happening?" Harry asks.
"Sorry, professor, I just had a feeling to come here. Could I get an explanation?" I ask, sheepishly stepping into view.
"Arthur Weasley has been attacked" McGonagall says, making me freeze.
"He what?" I ask, my voice shaking a little.
"Everard, Arthur's on guard duty tonight. Make sure he's found by the right people" Dumbledore says to a portrait.
"Sir" Harry calls.
"Phineas. You must go to your portrait at Grimmauld Place. Tell them that Arthur Weasley is gravely injured and his children will be arriving there soon, by Portkey" Dumbledore tells another portrait.
"They've got him, Albus. It was close, but they think he'll make it. What's more, the Dark Lord failed to acquire it" the first person, Everard, says.
"Oh, thank goodness. Next we need to-"
"Look at me!" Harry yells, interrupting Dumbledore, him turning to Harry and just staring "What's happening to me?"
Everyone pauses as Snape enters the room, looking around confused as to why everyone's here.
"You wished to see me, headmaster?" Snape asks.
"Oh, Severus. I'm afraid we can't wait. Not even 'till the morning. Otherwise, we'll all be vulnerable" Dumbledore says.
~~~~~
"Here we go. Daddy's back. Sit down, everybody, sit down. That's it. Now, presents" Mrs Weasley says, all the Weasley's, plus Hermione, sitting down at the table.
I watch by the door, smiling as everyone looks happy and enjoying themselves for once in their lives since I've entered it.
"And a nice big box for Ron" Mr Weasley says once Mrs Weasley gives Ron his present.
"Big box for you. And..." Mrs Weasley switches the parcels back and forth to find the right twin, then hands them both their presents "Fred and George. Come on, open up. I want to see your faces" Mrs Weasley says as she claps in delight, smiling at all her kids, plus Hermione.
"Yes" Ron says, looking at a jacket he got.
"Try it on"
"Thanks, mum. It's perfect"
"Just what he wanted, actually" Mrs Weasley says.
"Yeah. Right. Thanks, mum"
"Come on, then, everybody. Let's clear this away" Molly says "Oh, Harry, Harry. There you are. Happy Christmas" Mrs Weasley gives him a hug and a gift.
"Thank you" Harry says.
"Lovely to have you with us"
"Thank you"
"Now, Daddy. Pass that to Daddy"
"Thank you"
"Has everybody got? Fred? George? Hermione?"
"A Christmas toast. To Mr Harry Potter... without whom I would not be here. To Harry" Mr Weasley says, raising his glass.
"Harry" everyone says, and takes a sip of their drinks.
"Harry" dad says, then winks and takes a sip.
"That is delicious. I shall be needing some more of that"
"Daddy, don't forget last Christmas"
"Where's Y/N?" Fred asks.
"I don't know" Mrs Weasley says, shrugging her shoulders lightly.
I shake my head, and go back up to my room, laying back in bed. I sigh heavily and close my eyes.
I sharply open them when the only image in my head is Cedric, lying lifelessly on the floor.
I try to forget about it, and soon my mind wonders to the vision I had of my mother.
"Love?" Fred calls, opening the door slowly.
"Yeah?" I ask, looking up.
"We're celebrating. Do you wanna join?"
"Oh, no. It's your family. You enjoy yourself, won't you?"
"I can't if you're not there" Fred says, coming in and sitting next to me.
"Fred, don't be like that. You're with your family and your dad just got out of hospital" I say.
"And, I always feel you aren't with your family" Fred says "Something's wrong. It's like something's always wrong, and you won't tell me. I know you have your walls, but I need to know"
"What's the point of sharing my problems if you're the only one who will care?" I ask, turning to him.
"Is that what you really think?" Fred asks.
I slowly nod my head. He sighs and takes my hand.
"That's not true" Fred says.
"Isn't it? I come home, but I've never felt more alone than ever. And every night I get dreams and nightmares about... that night and all I ever see is Cedric dead. And if it's not Cedric, it's my scar. I almost died. Twice. And no one's seemed to notice anything different, except you. It's just tiring being in a house full of 15 people, but feeling so alone all the time" I say.
"What do you want for your birthday?"
"Why? My birthday's not for a while/already gone" I ask, confused on why he changed the subject when me opening up is all he wants.
"Just... what do you want?" Fred repeats.
I sigh.
"I dunno. I don't need anything. I already have you" I say, pecking his nose.
"See? You hide too much" Fred says.
"What do you mean?" I ask, pursing my lips together and furrowing my eyebrows.
"You're miserable and you're pretending you're fine. You just told me so" Fred says.
"Relax, I am fine" I say, sitting back in bed.
"If that were true, I'd be able to do this" Fred says and pulls my necklace off, holding it in his hand.
"Give it back!" I yell, jumping at him and grabbing the necklace, quickly putting it on.
"You've never reacted like that before. It's always jokingly being pissed. This is actually being pissed" Fred points out.
"It's a necklace with my mother's picture in it. Of course I'll be pissed, especially since I've been thinking about her recently"
"And why's that?" Fred asks, egging me on.
"Because I'm thinking of Voldemort!" I yell.
I look down and cover my face in my hands, but Fred pulls them down, hugging me.
He pecks my lips and cups my cheek in his hand, smiling at me.
"Thanks for telling me" Fred says, but I lean my head on his chest.
"I miss her, Fred. I don't know how Harry can deal with not having his parents around, but I miss my mum, so much" I admit, sniffling a little.
"I know you do, love. I know you do. I'd miss my mum too, if it were me" Fred says, caressing my cheek.
"I just don't want to let her down"
"You won't. I know you won't" Fred reassures.
"But I feel I already have. I've been a burden to everyone in my entire life and I've brought that on myself. If I wasn't like this, maybe she'd love me"
"She does love you, N/N. She loves you so much that she sacrificed herself for you"
"Because she didn't know I'd turn out like this. She didn't know her only child would be a disappointment and a failure" I say, walking and turning away, holding my necklace in my hands.
"Y/N, you need to stop being so negative all the time. You always assume the worst, especially when it's about yourself. You feel so insecure around other girls when you have a beautiful body, you doubt whether I truly love you and I'm sick of it. I want you to see the girl I see when I look at you" Fred takes my shoulders and pushes me to a mirror "What do you see?"
I examine my pained expression, the tears streaming down my face and the scratches across my neck from always aggressively grabbing my necklace. I study my E/C eyes, then look up at Fred through the mirror.
I stare at his soft skin, his perfect peach lips and his gorgeous red hair. I look back at myself, then break down, dropping onto my knees and crying.
Glass shatters and drops onto the floor, and the room darkens as I'm uncontrollably crying, letting all my pain, all my anger and all my sadness push through me.
I cover my face in my hands and drop my head low, not wanting anyone to see me like this. Not wanting anyone to see me so weak. So vulnerable.
"Love, I..."
I get up and run, but trip down the stairs, smashing into the wall. I quickly get up again and run out of the house, running as far as I possibly can.