HAPPY READING 🥰
Cindy Washington
I lay in my hospital bed and as my examination is going on I send a quiet prayer for my unborn child.
"Ok, miss Washington typically implantation bleeding is a small amount of light spotting or bleeding that occurs about 10 to 14 days after conception which is normal."
"Implantation bleeding however is thought to happen when the fertilized egg attaches to the lining of the uterus. usually, it occurs around the time you would expect to have a menstrual period. However, this bleeding is lighter than menstrual bleeding and since you have passed your 10 to 14 days when this should occur I will keep you overnight for observation."
I nod in understanding, "I will let the nurse do two other checks during the night just to be on the safe side. The ultrasound looks good and everything is on track."
"Thank you...." I say trying to calm my pounding heart.
"The fetus is in its sack and looks to be doing well."
"Your blood pressure, however, is above the normal rate and I do not want to alarm you but we need to get it down and without medication at this point."
"Cindy I need you to be calm and no stressor your baby is fine all I need is for its mummy to be fine."
I nod in understanding as tears prick my eyes.
"I know you are emotional and your emotions will let your mind spiral out of control but your baby is doing fine look at the monitor see for yourself."
I look over at the screen and burst into a fit of exhaustion tears as I see my pea. I could not hold it, my heart aches and my emotions are running wild and high. As I see my baby is doing well the tension in my body burst slowly. I pull my blows over my nose crying out the pent up emotions I feel.
"See everything will be alright if you just relax." says doctor Andries trying to calm me down. "Breathe Cindy you and baby will be alright."
I cry my heart's content feeling the tension in my body releasing. I nod removing my clothes from my face and wiping my face. "Get it all out because no more crying for the rest of the day." Doctor Andries say.
I nod being unable to speak "I want you to signal the nurse if you feel any discomfort, any at all you hear me, Cindy."
"Ok doc," I say as she removes the transducer. She clears the gel from my tummy and leaves the room leaving me to rest. I cannot handle a scare like this, and this being DeMarcus and I love child I especially do not want to lose my pea no matter what happens. I release a deep breath closing my eyes.
"Are you sleeping?" I hear a whisper coming from the doorway a few minutes later.
"Come in, I was just about to go freshen up," I say.
"How's our pea doing," asks Allison.
"Good so far, only my blood pressure is a little above the normal rate."
"Girl you give me a scare when Allison called me," says Zoriah.
"I was in a scare but I am praying everything is alright."
"Everything will be alright," say Zoriah taking a seat on the recliner at my bedside. Allison did the same on its arm after she hugged me. "What is that," I say sitting up noticing Zoriah's finger.
"Vincent proposed last weekend when we returned from New York."
"Why didn't you tell us," I ask.
"So much was happening and I didn't want you to...."
"Stop right there. No matter what is going on in my life, I will still make time for you and celebrate your accomplishments," I say cutting her off.
"I know, I know," says Zoriah waving her hand.
"We are family, your successes are mine and mine yours."
She stretches out her hand showing her ring "we are getting married," she whispers yell. I wanted to jump out of my bed and scream but circumstances prevented me. Allison hugs her, screaming and I take hold of her hand admiring her beautiful diamond ring.
"Details please," says Allison.
"I call to tell him I was back home and he said he is coming over to get me he missed me. He take me back to his place and I was ready to put all of this cookie on him but as soon as I enter his room his bed was laid with rose petals asking me to marry him," Zoriah related her story to us.
"Aww romantic," says Allison.
"You did give him the cookie though," I ask and we bust out laughing.
"All of it," she replied.
When the excitement dies down Allison take her seat. "Did you choose a date? I am your first bridesmaid. Cindy will be too fat by the time you choose a date."
"Hello, I am sitting right here," I say and she giggles.
"What? it is true, your baby bump will be high in the air." Says Allison.
”I will be a sexy pregnant bridesmaid got it" and they both laugh. "How did his mom take the news," I ask.
"She didn't get the memo yet," zoriah reply.
"Things any better between you two," asks Allison.
"We had one dinner and she was civil and as long as she is I will be too. But enough about me," says Zoriah.
"You sure you alright Cindy," asks Zoriah with a worried expression shifting our conversation.
"That is what the doctor said a few minutes ago. Only my BP is a little high once I get some sleep I will be fine," I answer.
"And sweet pea too," she asks.
"Yes our pea too," I say.
"What about DeMarcus did you call him," she asks further.
"I did but he is busy," I say playing it off.
"Busy," Allison repeats.
"He was in a meeting when I called earlier but after it went to voicemail."
"You know he should be here," says Allison.
"He will when he gets my message."
"Things any better between you too," asks Zoriah.
The nurse knocked on the door entering the room before I can reply. "No more excitement for this patient she needs to rest."
"It is early though," says Allison
"You want her BP to go done, don't you?" Says the nurse in a motherly tone.
"Yes," Zoriah and Allison said in unison.
"Good, now it's time to let this patient get some rest," says the nurse.
They both stand hugging me one after the other. "I will be here first thing tomorrow," says Zoriah.
"You guys drive safely, see you tomorrow."
"Bye," they both say and Zoriah hugs me again. "Do not worry everything will work itself out."
I nod and they walk out the door. "Ok, miss Washington I would like to recheck your blood pressure."
"Ok nurse."
I relax my arm and she checks my BP. "This is looking better, coming down gradually from what you came in with. Now try to get some rest," she says taking notes in my chart.
"I will as soon as I freshen up."
"No problem, then straight to bed."
"Yes ma'am," I say and she chuckles.
A few minutes later I finish showering, change into the hospital gown, climb into bed and decide to call Steph. I take out my cell phone from my purse dialling his number.
"Mom" he answers on the first ring.
"Good evening Steph, tell me about your day," I ask wanting anything to take my mind off of everything.
"You want to know about my day again?" He asks, chuckling.
"Yes, I just want to hear your voice" I reply.
"Why? are you alright?"
"Yes, I am fine?"
"Why would something be wrong for me to ask about your day Steph"
"Nothing, because you asks me that earlier remember when you talked to dad about my computer classes."
"Yes but that was then and this is now."
"Mom, you are being weird."
"I know," I chuckle.
"The only update I have is dad enrolled me into the classes which you know already."
"You did nothing else."
"Why are you being weird mom?"
"What is weird about our conversation," I laugh.
"You do not see the weirdness mom."
"You always make me laugh son thank you."
"Now you are thanking me, weirdness," he says with humour and we both laugh.
There is a knock on my door and I raise my head to look at the door but the person on the other side did not open the door. "Steph let me call you back someone is here to me."
"Ok, mom we can continue the weirdness at dinner time."
"Boy bye" I chuckle cutting the call.
"Come in" I answer, the person walking through the door is the last person I expected to see in my hospital room.
"Merrily what are you doing here."
"Hello Cindy I only have a few minutes, I had to beg the nurse to let me in."
"Why what's wrong."
"Is everything alright with you and baby?"
"Yes, we are fine."
"DeMarcus is indisposed at the moment he wanted to be here for you and baby. You see he was drinking with Denzel and-"
"Don't say anymore, I understand and it is ok." The past couple of days couldn't be any easy on either of us. I did not sleep a wink, I miss him. I miss curling up to him, our silly little arguments, everything, I miss it all. I miss him most.
"Cindy, DeMarcus loves you girl and everything he does is for you not to hurt you or take away your identity to replace it with his."
"I know that Merrily," I say sitting up.
"Girl you do not have to worry about losing yourself behind your man."
"Merrily please understand, when I left my husband it was not about doing everything myself. It’s not about being financially independent alone, either. And it’s certainly not about shouldering every hardship I faced all on my lone self. It was about being self-reliant and how I can develop it within myself. My self-worth, self-expression, self-knowledge, resilience, and for my self-acceptance which was lacking for a very long time. With DeMarcus, I could be myself, the best of me, flaws and all. He accepted this part of me. I felt betrayed in a way that he did not think I could have done it myself that he did it for me like my husband did or wanted to. I say all this to say I wasn't running away from him either or what he offered I only asked him for time to think and he couldn't give that to me. He made me his enemy too."
I never thought this was about me alone at first everything was a mess, I was a mess but I know my perspective and my forthcoming is completed with him.
"Tears spill out my eyes as I talk what is on my heart, bearing my soul to Merrily. Tears also settle in her eyes as she listens to me. "Cindy I understand completely if I did not have my self-independence from my husband I might have been a shadow of myself too, so I know of what you speak. You will find your greatest happiness in deciding to pursue your individual identity and striving for your own. You do not become fulfilled by following the norms but here you have a man helping you to that level of confidence, security, individuality, resilience all while loving you best."
"I know, that is why I did not leave for the offer I had with sir Prada because he gave me all I needed when I needed it and he understand what I needed best and I want to give him the same in return."
"You love him."
"Always have and always will."
"He thought you were leaving him."
"Why would I do that, I only ask for a little time."
"You two are going to be great together," she smiles at me and wipes her eyes.
"We are," I answer confidently.
"Once he is sober, he is going to be blazing through every door here to get you."
"I know."
"I should go but before I do" she hugs me tight "Congratulations and I cannot wait to be an auntie."
"Thank you, Merrily, you do not know how much it means that you are here."
"DeMarcus is family and that makes you family as well."
"Please do not make me cry harder in here."
"Girl bye before I get kicked out of here," she replies chuckling.
"Take care and see you soon," I say to her.
"Bye Cindy," she says walking out the door and she was gone. The most obvious thing I have learned is when depending on others, there will be a time when they will not be available to you but that gives you a different perspective which in turn gives new directions.
And I know where my direction leads straight to DeMarcus Granger and the resilience I found in myself.
Formerly if I was placed in a situation like this I wouldn't be here with the resilience, strength, courage, bravery, determination and confidence I have presently. Never know what you can go through by yourself when all you have is yourself.