***
"No, no, no, no." Roseanne scream-laughed loudly, waving her hands erratically to keep her balance, but kept struggling until she felt strong hands on her hips stabilizing her, keeping her on her feet. She leaned slightly into the helpful embrace and let herself be pushed across the ice at a slow speed.
"Better?" Lisa asked, mouth close to Roseanne's beanie covered ear, but she felt the breath gently caressing her cheek from the exhale of air. She turned her head to thank her saviour, but hadn't calculated Lisa would be this close. They again found each other in very close proximity. Roseanne's eyes darted down to Lisa's slightly open mouth and the memory of the other night wormed its way in and they both simply smiled, before Lisa guided them to the side so Roseanne could hold onto the railing.
"You've been warned." She laughed, trying to calm her heart.
"I'm not complaining, am I?" Lisa grinned, easing the uncertainty between them.
"So… how often have you been to New York?" Roseanne asked curiously eager to change the topic.
"Well, I grew up in Boston, so it's only an hour by plane."
"You could afford regular flights when you grew up?" Roseanne asked astonished. She herself had been nineteen when she had stepped onto an airplane for the first time. It had been her mum's attempt to convince her to go to medical school by bribing her with a trip to England.
"Well, my parents could afford it and I'm an only child." Lisa shrugged. "Probably their way of making up for leaving me alone."
"There are worse compensations, if you ask me." Roseanne tried to ignore the sombre expression and returned the gesture from earlier and squeezed Lisa's hand. "So what did a young Lisa Bruschweiller do in New York?"
Lisa looked up from her hand currently cradled in the blonde's warm one and met dark brown eyes watching her curiously. "After a couple of years I'd seen all the tourist things and started to explore the real city." The smile returned and she added. "Speaking of, wanna get going?"
"Sure."
Lisa helped her get off the ice and once they found an empty bench Roseanne immediately took of the shoes, wriggled her toes and sighed in contentment.
"I really don't get how you could spend any length of time in these." She glared at the footwear. "They're really hurt."
"I got used to the pain." Lisa laughed and gestured for Roseanne to give her the skates. Roseanne looked at her quizzically for another moment, before rolling her lips into her mouth and stopping herself from saying anything and instead handed her the shoes and watched her walk away.
"You want to see more of the park?" The brunette asked after she had given back the rented items and re-joined Roseanne at the boards.
"Ok." The blonde nodded and let herself be led back to the snowy path. They walked in silence for a little while, Lisa enjoying the cold air and snow powdered trees and bushes before she stopped them, turning Roseanne towards to her.
"Hey, what's going on in that beautiful mind of yours?" She asked softly.
Roseanne smiled at the words and stopped in the middle of a bridge leaning against the banister. "Do you miss Boston?"
"I'm going back and forth, so no not really."
"Do you still have friends there?"
"I never had many. Back in the day it wasn't ok to be gay, but I never made a secret out of my orientation." It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the truth either. She sighed.
"Did your parents accept you?"
"It took a while, but eventually they did. There were other things, more important matters they worried about. I can't really remember the last time I saw them. They were always somewhere else and never for too long at one destination."
"They sound just as busy as you." Roseanne joked. "What were their professions?"
Lisa looked at her intensely, thankful for the unvoiced 'sorry' she usually got when she talked about her absent family. She wasn't really sure how much more she could reveal. On one hand she wanted Roseanne to know everything about her, on the other she wondered if she knew her enough to trust she wouldn't turn into a nightmare. She had been there before.
"They created their own business. Both of them were involved in different positions." She slowly explained, jumping over the borders of her comfort zone.
"How come you haven't taken over their business if you're an only child? Not interested?" Roseanne asked with a smile and Lisa blinked a few times.
'I can do this. I can trust her. I can be brave. She is not like everyone else.' She inhaled deeply and finally managed a quiet "I have."
As soon as the truth has left her mouth, Lisa felt her chest deflate painfully. Her heart was beating uncontrollably inside her chest, and the voice inside her screamed 'run'. She didn't, she remained rooted to the spot and carefully watched the blonde.
"Aaah, hence you being so busy. Gotcha." Roseanne smiled but it vanished when she took in her expression. "Are you ok?"
"Yes." Lisa's mind went a million miles a second and her eyes nervously flickered over the brown eyes in front of her. She licked her lips and tried to focus on her breathing.
"I don't believe you." The blonde stated after a moment, but shrugged at the same time indicating she'd drop the topic if Lisa wanted to. She had the feeling it was better to not pressure her any further as the pilot looked uncomfortable and ready to take off. Roseanne watched her with concern, all the while berating herself for bringing up Lisa's parents. She didn't even know when they'd died. For all she knew, it could have been recently and she had been stupid to ask so many question of such a sensitive matter. Whatever her parents had left her to deal with certainly meant a lot to her, if she tried to handle her day job and their business. 'Maybe Lisa will tell me one day on her own accord,' she thought, and smiled before pointing over Lisa's shoulder to guide their conversation back to the stress-free. "Oh, look. Mulled wine."
Lisa had looked at her the whole time, trying to figure out what was going through her head, but had come up without any inclination of her train of thought. She watched her for another moment, eyes wide at the sudden change. She couldn't believe Roseanne wouldn't say anything.
'Does she understand what I've just told her? Did she purposefully change the subject? Does it not bother her at all that I'm her boss?' Lisa could taste the sweat above her upper lip and felt her clothes clinging to her body. She was utterly lost in the enigma in front of her and so she went for the offered route back to easiness and turned to where the woman was pointing.
'Maybe Roseanne just needs a little time to process?' For better or worse, Lisa wanted to give her that. "You want some?"
"Mm. Yes." Roseanne smiled and pulled the still confused woman along. "My treat."
They enjoyed the hot beverage and Roseanne had managed to push them into a heated debate whether hot chocolate or hot wine was the traditional winter drink, whilst they slowly meandered through the park, effectively distracting Lisa.
When they walked past the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Lisa caught the interested look on Roseanne's face. She remembered being told that the blonde had wanted to become an artist before her father's death. Unsure, if she should bring it up again she rattled off the current exhibitions in the museum, but leaving out the obvious question.
"Not my kind of art." Roseanne said.
"What is your style?" Lisa jumped at the offered chance to talk about the topic nevertheless.
"I never really had a style. I loved doing abstracts as well as realistic paintings of people or landscapes. I even tried a little architectural drawing, but I've been told my house would collapse." She laughed. "Are you interested in art?"
It was easier for Lisa to open up, after she had practically told Roseanne her biggest secret. "My parents made sure I was properly educated with an adequate balance between my interest for sport and their interest for the finer things in life. I learned to appreciate art."
"What kind of art do you like?" Roseanne was even more intrigued by Lisa if that was entirely possible. She usually faced disinterest and ignorance, even teasing, whenever she talked about a painting or drawing she liked with her friends.
"I value any kind of art, but abstracts are really difficult for me to accept as such. A randomly placed dot of any colour on a differently painted canvas just doesn't speak to me as much as a picture of something I can relate to."
"I'll have you know it's really difficult to create such a simple piece with only two colours which should support each other, but at the same time fight for dominance." Roseanne grinned.
"You mean the weirdly placed drop of colour should harmonize with the background but stand out as sore thumb?"
"Exactly." Roseanne laughed.
"Naaah, sorry. Still think a first grader can paint better than that." Lisa grinned.
"Fair enough. Do you want to go in?"
"I'd rather go to the Guggenheim. Have you been?"
"No!" Roseanne exclaimed excitingly. "Is it nearby?"
"Half a mile I'd guess." Lisa didn't need to ask upon seeing the bright eyes and big smile on the blonde's face. "Come on then."
"Have you been to it recently?" Roseanne asked animatedly.
"Last time I've been was ages ago. Not the best memory though."
Roseanne stopped herself from asking if she had been with her parents and remained silent. They reached the museum and quickly walked to the famous Thannhauser Gallery, which was located in the spiral part of the building.
"Can I ask you something?" Lisa broke the silence with her quiet question. Upon Roseanne's nod she proceeded. "You told me you haven't painted for a long time. Have you never felt the urge to draw or paint anything again?"
"I have…" Roseanne looked from the painting in front of her to Lisa. "It vanished again."
"What happened?" She asked, but immediately paddled back at the intimacy of the question. "You don't have to tell me of course if you -"
"My ex broke my heart and destroyed my muse." Roseanne interrupted her, walking over to another painting. "Haven't found a new one." She glanced back over to Lisa who had followed her. "Yet."
The brunette nodded knowingly. She remembered Jisoo telling her about Roseanne's story the day she had helped her at the airport to get rid of the ex-girlfriend. She then smiled at the one word indicating hope. "So you think you might start again?"
"Maybe."
"What was your muse?"
"Love, mainly. That warm feeling of home, of belonging. That light feeling of fulfilment and enrichment to my world. It gave me the ability to see beyond the obvious, to open up to the unexpected underneath the covers." She sighed and sauntered to the next painting. "For now, the world still looks a little dull and abrasive." She mused, unfocused before jolting out of her reverie and smiling sheepishly at Lisa. "Guess that doesn't make any sense." She shrugged.
"Surprisingly it does."
Roseanne turned fully to look at her, eyes scanning her face for an unvoiced question. "Burnt by love too?" She finally asked.
"Destroyed and pulverised."
They grinned despite the graveness of their topic. They both knew it was in the past and they had moved on. They were both a little careful and scared, but neither had given up the prospect of being happy at some point in the future.
They remained silent for only a short time, before starting to share ideas and facts about the paintings and artists around them, and both completely lost their sense of time and had to be asked to leave as the museum was closing.
"Wow, that's the longest I've ever been with someone in a gallery. I'm usually dragged elsewhere after 20 minutes." Roseanne laughed when they stepped out into the cold December night.
"I enjoyed your company as well as the pictures. Where else would I go if I could have both?" Lisa smiled and checked her mobile for the time.
"We should get to the Rockefeller Centre to meet the others."
They hailed a taxi and within a few moments they were stood at the meeting point, waiting for the rest of the group.
"I had a great time." Roseanne said quietly to Lisa, who stood close to her seeking the warmth and comfort she had provided for the last couple of hours. She looked over and got lost in the sincerity of Roseanne's words reflected in her eyes. "Thanks for everything." The blonde whispered.
"Me too." She managed. "Thanks for asking me to come along."
Roseanne nodded and they simply smiled contently at each other when Irene, who had sneaked up on them, ambushed the blonde. "Hey." She complained whilst her friend yelled. "You had fun?"
"Where have you been?" Jennie had finally caught up and eyed Roseanne's red face and shivering form. "Have you been out long?"
"We went for a walk." The blonde offered.
"We?" Jisoo looked at Lisa who looked equally frozen to the marrow.
"Little city tour…" Lisa answered evasively sensing the question was rhetorical anyway.
"Let's get you two in the warmth." The other pilot said instead of probing any further and they walked into the Rockefeller building to settle for food.
An hour later the group had warmed up and was enjoying their drinks after finishing their dinners in a comfortable silence, broken once in a while by an approving sound or mumble.
"That was amazing food." Jennie said, leaning back, stroking her belly and looking at Roseanne. "I can't believe you could eat that much."
The blonde just shrugged. "Hey I had some exercise in the form of walking and skating and shivering." She excused her hunger. "Besides, I haven't really eaten anything today."
"Fair point." Jennie grinned naughtily and let her eyebrows dance suggestively when Jisoo slapped her, hissing "stop it".
"Oh come on guys." Roseanne groaned once she understood the double meaning of her words, and hid her face behind her hands.
"What is it? Getting squirmy?" Jennie laughed, when the blonde just flipped her off and took a big sip of her drink.
"Change of topic. It's still early, any ideas of what we could do?"
Roseanne had never been more appreciative for Bobby than in that moment and she smiled gratefully at him, but shook her head and looked over to her afternoon guide. Lisa rattled off a few attractions they could check out and the group quickly settled on visiting the Top of the Rock.
The line for the elevators had been long but after Lisa had talked to some men in suits the group was guided to the front and entered the lift within twenty minutes.
"How did she manage that?" Jennie asked approvingly.
"The woman has her ways." Jisoo laughed and playfully pushed Lisa.
"How?" Roseanne asked, raising an eyebrow.
"A story for another walk, maybe." Lisa answered, blushing.
They smiled at each other before everyone was distracted by the clear ceiling of the elevator cabin offering a light show.
It was busy on the observation desk, but they managed to get some great pictures and everyone was in awe of the view. Due to the cold winds they didn't stay long and found themselves again on the plaza. The group gathered around a table, which offered some warmth from an integrated heating system, enjoyed hot drinks and chatted animatedly when Bobby laughed out all of a sudden.
"I just realised." He explained. "You guys are under the mistletoe." He pointed up and everyone followed the length of his finger and then dropped to the two people underneath, before turning and shooting daggers at the oblivious man. Jisoo had seen it earlier, but didn't want to spook Lisa. Jennie and Irene had simply ignored it, knowing the blonde didn't want their help.
Roseanne had never been more ungrateful for Bobby than in that moment and she grimaced helplessly at Lisa, who to the blonde's surprise smiled shyly at her. Roseanne remembered their talk and Lisa's admission that she did like her and after watching the brunette for another frantic heartbeat, she leaned in whilst softly whispering "sorry" and pressed her lips purposefully but gently against Lisa's own. The brunette was too stunned to react in time and the kiss ended before she could reciprocate but it left her stunned and dazed and she kept standing in the middle of Rockefeller Plaza, eyes still closed, mouth slightly open and panting slightly, trying hopelessly to calm her heartbeat, when she heard a gasp of surprise followed by a voice she would recognise in a million different ones.
"Lisa?"
She slowly opened her eyes and turned towards the sound.
"Miyeon." She spat out.
.....