***
Roseanne had moved over to her couch and was watching some comedy reruns to take her mind of the disaster the evening had been, when her phone lit up.
Lisa (01:20): Can we meet later? I'd like to explain.
Roseanne huffed out in surprise. 'What's there to explain?' She thought back to the moment in the club and realised, she hadn't really given Lisa any time to elaborate. She had heard the words and had taken off.
'She doesn't want me the way I want her. I get it.' She thought and played with her phone, contemplating. There was nothing to misinterpret. She had tried to kiss Lisa but the woman had stopped them. Although, thinking back, the words were spoken with such a depressed voice full of resignation. The longer Roseanne thought about the way Lisa had sounded and had looked so lost and sad, the more she got the feeling there was a story behind the 'I can't' she wanted and needed to hear.
Roseanne (1:32): When and where?
....
Lisa did not expect Roseanne to still be awake and felt even worse worrying it was her who had kept the blonde up. After she had left the park, she had gone to her office. She had known she wouldn't have been able to sleep anyway. She had wanted to prepare all the documents she would need as she had been hopeful to hear from Roseanne once she had sent the message. When she read the blonde's words she felt her heartbeat increasing and her hands started to sweat. 'I can do this.'
Lisa (1:40): Brunch at 11:00? The Belvedere?
....
"The Belvedere?" Roseanne asked loudly into the silence of her apartment, surprise written all over her face. She had never been to the place because it belonged to an exclusive hotel on Santa Monica Boulevard.
'I wasn't aware they do brunch,' she thought. Why would Lisa want to meet me at such a high-class restaurant? Was this an invite or would she has to pay? Roseanne quickly opened the browser on her phone to check out the menu and nearly choked on her own spit when she saw the prices.
"$85 for a brunch?" She exclaimed outraged and replied with a scowl.
Roseanne (1:45): Sounds good, but can we meet elsewhere? This is a little out of my pocket.
......
Lisa was wondering how the blonde would react to the place and a small smile played at her mouth at seeing the answer. Of course Roseanne would assume this wasn't an invitation with all expenses paid. She wasn't Miyeon.
Lisa wasn't sure how to proceed. She hadn't really been anywhere since she came to LA. She only knew about this place, because her parents had mentioned it a couple of times. Should she stick with the original plan and invite the blonde? Lisa cringed at that, worrying it might look too much like a date when she was going to do the exact opposite of that.
Lisa (1:53): Where would you like to meet?
She finally wrote and hit send a second later.
Roseanne (1:55): Ever been to a place called Charcoal?
Lisa (1:56): No. Message me the address and I'll meet you there at 11:00. Thank you for giving me your time, Roseanne. Lisa
Roseanne (2:00): 425 Washington Blvd.
....
Roseanne stopped typing, thinking of how to end her message but came up short. Whatever Lisa wanted to talk about, it probably wasn't what she wanted to hear and so she simply added 'See you.' and pressed send, slumping back into her couch.
She did not look forward to seeing the brunette to break her heart, but she also didn't want to keep her hopes up for something which wasn't going to happen.
'Why am I always falling for the wrong person? What's wrong with me?'
....
Lisa waited another moment to see if she would get more, but nothing came and although she wasn't surprised she was still disappointed. The whole situation was awful, but she had maneuvered herself into it and now she had to get out of it somehow. She was just about to call Jackson to send her the form, when she heard her phone ringing. She groaned and threw her head back in annoyance.
There was only one person who would bug her at that time of the night and she wasn't really in the mood for that. The ringing continued and although it wasn't the case, Lisa felt it got louder and angrier the longer she ignored it.
"What?" Lisa hissed when she picked it up.
"Open up or I'll call your security and say you're suicidal and need help."
"God damn you." Lisa growled but walked out of her office and opened the door.
"Why are you here?" She was greeted at the same time she asked.
"How did you find me?"
They stared at each other for a moment, before Jisoo pushed past her into the building.
"I know you, and you weren't at the hotel. Where else would you be." She explained her presence.
"So now answer my question, what are you doing here?"
"I needed some documents for later." Lisa replied vaguely.
Jisoo quickly dropped her scowl and asked calmly. "Are you leaving?"
"What?" Lisa turned confusedly towards her. "No... You said it yourself. Where else would I go?"
"Well LA hasn't many options for you, but thinking of the bigger picture… Boston?"
Lisa nodded. "Right, ok. I guess that's a possibility."
"Well are you?" Jisoo asked impatiently when Lisa showed no inclination to say more.
"No." She drawled the vowel and started to walk back to her office with Jisoo following her hot on her heals.
"What happened earlier? At the club." She asked, feeling like a broken record.
"I… We…" Lisa stopped walked, scratching the back of her neck and avoided eye contact.
"Roseanne and I nearly kissed." She finally mumbled quietly.
If Jisoo was surprised by the admission she didn't show and simply smiled. "Ok. Where's the problem? I thought you wanted that?"
"I do." Lisa exclaimed without hesitation and promptly blushed at her eagerness. "But I can't, which is exactly what I said before it could happen." She added calmly before entering her office.
"You said, 'I can't' ?"
"Yeah and she just ran off." Lisa whispered in a sad voice remembering the look on Roseanne's face before she had left her.
"I'm not surprised." Jisoo said matter of fact. "Why the hell did you say that?"
"Jisoo, I can't date Roseanne. As much as I want to, I just can't afford the distraction. I need to focus; I need to learn how to be a boss."
"Oh wow. Now tell me, how would Roseanne be unhelpful in this? She's an awesome flight attendant, she's a spokesperson for the staff and she's an intelligent and creative woman. She'll probably support you better than any of the baboons your parents were so fond of."
"Jisoo." Lisa scolded. "She's my employee and this isn't right."
"Ok." The older woman sighed and flopped down in the guest chair, stretching her tired limbs. "You got coffee? Sounds like a long night."
"What do you mean and yes I have."
"Good. I'd like one and then you tell me what you were planning to do."
"Great." Lisa groaned in annoyance, but activated the coffee maker nonetheless. "I was about to call Jackson to send me a non-disclosure contract."
"What?" Jisoo quickly whipped her head around to look at her. She had a few ideas of what her friend might have been up to, but this wasn't one of them. The night seemed to get weirder by the second. "Why?"
"I hurt her." Lisa slowly let her gaze wander from the coffee dripping into the provided mug over to Jisoo. "I hurt her badly and I think it's time to come clean."
"You want to tell her who you really are?"
"Yes." Lisa nodded and crossed her office back to her desk.
"And give her a gag order?" Jisoo just stared at her in disbelief, ignoring the outstretched hand offering her drink.
"Yes." The brunette huffed and set the hot cup down on her desk.
"Wow." Jisoo leaned back in her seat. "We have so many things to discuss, but first of all, drop the idea of Roseanne signing anything."
"Why?"
"It'll only be three weeks until everyone will learn about you anyway."
"I don't want to lie to her anymore."
"21 days Lisa…" She looked at her with wide eyes. "What did you want to put in the document anyway?" Jisoo asked her, and after a second a smile grew on her face. "I hereby put you Roseanne Park under the oath to never breathe a single word to another living being that I am the Lalisa Manoban, heir of Manoban Corporation? P.S. I love you but can't date you, cos I'm your boss. Sorry."
"You're not even remotely funny." Lisa shook her head. "I don't know the terminology of such sensitive nature, but that's what Jackson was supposed to do."
"You wanted to seek advice from someone who's too awful to find anyone who would love him and sells this as a heroic self-sacrifice instead of what it is, a sad existence? What did he once say to you after the Miyeon thing?"
"Love is weakness?"
"Yeah, that bullshit. Love is anything but weakness Lisa. I agree you've suffered, been used and exploited in the name of love and on top your parents probably never made you feel loved…" Jisoo trailed off watching Lisa leaning back in her seat, eyes watering at the mentioning of the lack of love from her parents. "… but believe me, love can give you strength."
"I wasn't enough for my parents to love me, and the one woman I thought did, used me for my money." She whispered.
"I love you, because you're a great friend and an awesome person." Jisoo said in a warm voice whilst stretching over the desk and caressing Lisa's hand. "I'm sure if you gave Roseanne a chance she'd prove to you that you're not a piggy bank."
"Nothing you just said changes the fact that I have to explain in…" Lisa pulled her hand away and studied her watch. "… less than nine hours why I can't be with her."
Jisoo rolled her eyes at that. "Tell me again why you think you can't be with her?"
"For the millionth time she's my employee!" Lisa raised her voice in frustration.
"For fuck's sake, she has been for the past weeks and this didn't stop you from spending time with her." Jisoo matched her volume.
"You told me to let go and see where it would take me." Lisa yelled at her now.
"True." Jisoo nodded and continued in a calmer voice. "But only because I think it's not an issue and you and her could be good for each other."
"You don't know that."
"No Lisa I don't, but I know you and I know her." Jisoo stood up and walked around the desk.
"Listen. I don't know where you have the stupid idea from, that you can't possibly be involved with someone at work -"
"It's not just someone at work, is it though? I pay her salary. I grant her vacation. By all means, it's my money that allows her to afford her life." Lisa interrupted her impatiently.
"Oh my god. If that's the problem, check out any heterosexual marriages. A man's salary is higher than a woman's with the same education, hell even in the exact same damn job. That's the fact as atrocious and unfair as it is, but this also means, that a huge amount of women depends on their partners to support them financially." She paused watching Lisa clenching her jaw. "Let's play a little game." She suggested and continued when Lisa nodded. "Let's pretend you've been in a relationship with someone before you took over the company, ok?"
"Ok." The brunette sighed, vaguely assuming where Jisoo would go with this.
"Would your girlfriend still work or would you offer her a life where she could stay home and do whatever she wants now that you're minted?" Jisoo asked walking around the office making Lisa follow her with her eyes.
"You know my answer." She grimaced at the words, but played along.
"Exactly, your romantic, love filled heart would give her the best life possible." Jisoo clasped her hands dramatically over her chest.
"What's your point?" Lisa asked with an eye roll at the gesture.
"My point is you'd support her without even questioning that it is your money that allows her this life." Jisoo smiled smugly and sat back down in her chair.
"And what has all this to do with Roseanne?" Lisa asked, with one eyebrow raised high.
"Well, without a doubt you'd support her in whichever form or shape if you guys were in a relationship."
"God damnit, Jisoo. I've been listening to you for the last time. Your logic is flawed. You just told me because I finance their lives I'm in a relationship with all my employees. I don't want any of them, I only want Roseanne."
Jisoo grinned at the slipup. "I know Lis." She said and observed the different shades of red on her friend's face. "And don't twist my words." She scowled at her. "Besides, it really is no big deal. I can think of a few boss-employee relationships, which have not been frowned upon."
"Pray tell."
"Well, for starters Barack Obama and her wife. They worked together for law firm in Chicago. Mind you Obama's wife had been asked to teach little intern of Barack."
"It's not the same." Lisa whined.
"Not the same? Ok ok… how about Bill Gates? He was the CEO of Microsoft when he started dating his future wife. Closer to home?"
Lisa nodded after a moment. "Ok, so you really don't think it's unethical?"
"Nope."
"Immoral?"
"That's basically a synonym and nope again." Jisoo smirked.
"Inappropriate?" Lisa voiced her last worry standing between her and Roseanne.
"The only inappropriate thing would be if the two of you had office or cockpit sex." Jisoo teased knowing she had won the discussion.
"Jisoo, I don't need the visuals."
"I know, I know. You're already thirsting."
Lisa shook her head and finally let out a small laugh, feeling a little lighter. "Well Roseanne is hot." She shrugged as if she couldn't help it.
"Yes, and you know what else she is? An absolute catch and an outstanding person."
Lisa nodded in agreement and let her head fall onto her desk. "I screwed up." She admitted quietly. "How am I going to explain my behaviour?"
"Right, your meeting. What did you settle on?"
"I wanted to take her to the Belvedere but she asked to go elsewhere."
"Point Park on the scale for not being a gold digger."
"She doesn't know I have gold to dig for."
"Yeah, but still she wouldn't accept an invitation to an exclusive place. I bet she doesn't even think it was meant as such. It's just not her thing. She's down to earth in a refreshing manner."
"Yeah, ok I get it. She's the best." Lisa smiled sadly. "And I lost her before it even began."
"Stupid you, but maybe we can fix this."
Lisa looked at her best friend and felt hope blossom in her chest. 'Maybe.'
...
Lisa paced up and down in front of the restaurant. She was nervous, so nervous. She checked her watch for the millionth time and tried to steady her heartbeat. She hadn't been able to sleep, it took Lisa all night to accept the fact that dating an employee was nothing out of the ordinary and certainly quite common in many businesses.
Jisoo and her had left the office an hour later with a hopefully successful strategy to get her out of the doghouse whilst keeping the chances alive of a happy ending. Provided Roseanne wanted her in the end.
"Hi." Lisa was stopped abruptly in her pacing by the woman who had been on her mind for the majority during her waking hours. She turned towards the voice and any greeting got stuck in her throat.
Roseanne stood in front of her, without any makeup, her hair in an unruly ponytail and a long sweater over worn jeans, but Lisa only thought how absolutely stunning the woman looked even without trying.
"Hello Roseanne." She managed a few moments later with a small smile. "Thank you for coming."
Roseanne only nodded and gestured towards the restaurant to shorten the awkward situation. Lisa looked just as tired as she felt herself, but more than that she was breathtakingly beautiful and the blonde tried to get her feelings in check.
They decided on a table for two and settled opposite of each other. After another hour of contemplating the previous night, Roseanne had decided to minimalize her communication and let Lisa do the talking, and the brunette seemed to get the hint.
"I'm sorry." She said but was interrupted by a waitress who took down their drinks and offered the menu. "I don't know how to start." Lisa admitted after another moment of silence. She had tried to think of how she would want the conversation to go, but being close to Roseanne made her forget any of her prepared lines.
"You could start by explaining what you meant with 'I can't'." Roseanne offered, voice wavering with emotion. Lisa had that influence on her.
"Right, well um… Ok." Lisa breathed in deeply. "Remember when I told you about my parents?" Roseanne's eyes widened. She had not considered anything could have been linked to the biggest tragedy in Lisa's life.
"Yes." She answered quietly.
"Well…" Lisa stopped again, her breathing was erratic and she knotted her napkin into a tiny ball of tissue. Roseanne just watched her, feeling half sorry for her, but she also wanted to hear the reason behind the rejection. Before Lisa could continue, their drinks were served and they took a couple of minutes to choose something to eat. When the waitress left, Lisa tried to calm down with a sip of her tea.
"So?" Roseanne prompted her to continue, tilting her head slightly to one side and raising her eyebrows.
Lisa marvelled at the soft voice and the cute expression, but nodded in understanding, fixing her eyes on the tablecloth.
"Yes, um… my parents left me a lot to handle which I'm still trying to figure out, and I'm just struggling at the moment, to juggle my job and everything else. I have so little time left, that I thought…" She took another sip and risked to look at the blonde again, who cradled her own cup in her hands, blowing onto it to cool it down. She simply looked at Lisa with her expressive eyes and the brunette felt butterflies erupting inside of her at the intensity of the glance. "I thought, I don't really have enough time for you." She finished.
Of all the things Roseanne had thought of could be the reason for Lisa's retreat, this was not on her mental list and it took her by surprise. "That's it?" She asked incredulously.
"Roseanne you have to understand. I'm so over my head, I can't afford a distraction and you are a distraction, a good one, but still a distraction and I don't mean to offend you with this. I…" She stopped her rambling upon seeing a small smile form on Roseanne's sinful lips. "Um, jump in at any time." She added with a smile of her own.
"Lisa…" Roseanne shook her head, relieved her worst fear hadn't come true. "I just want to get to know you. I didn't mean to put pressure on you."
"I know, and the truth is you haven't, but I still feel some kind of stress because I…" Lisa stopped when their food was served, glad for the moment to collect her thoughts.
"Because you…?" Roseanne whispered once they were alone again.
Lisa inhaled deeply and locked eyes with the blonde. "Because I really like you Roseanne, and it scares me." She answered honestly.
"I'm scared too." Roseanne admitted to Lisa's astonishment.
"Why?" She blurted out.
Roseanne blushed slightly. "Because, I really like you too."
The smile which took over Lisa's features was the most beautiful sight the blonde had ever seen and she was ultimately glad she had been brave enough to talk to Lisa. She returned the smile and they kept staring at each other for another moment.
"So, where do we go from here?" Roseanne asked, taking her cutlery and inspecting the food, purposefully avoiding eye contact.
"We'll figure it out." Lisa answered and added. "Slowly?"
"I'm not going anywhere." She said with a quick glance at the brunette and finally took a bite. Lisa kept looking at her in awe and she knew at that instance she would give Roseanne the world, if she still wanted her after knowing the whole truth.
They finished their food with an excited conversation about New York and Christmas. Roseanne told her how they'd usually celebrated the holidays and Lisa let her in on how she'd spent the days on her own the past years.
"Well, this year you won't be alone." Roseanne smiled softly.
......