Time skip : 6pm
Wilhemina's pov
It's like my brain has alarms for Lav's nap times at this point because whenever I fall asleep with her I can't fully fall asleep and I always wake up at the same time and it's annoying as fuck . Maybe I couldn't fall asleep cause someone named Lavender was laying on top of me and was constantly moving around and digging her rib cage into my tiddies and almost rolling off me but I don't know maybe I'm just a light sleeper . Anyways when I woke up the sun was setting and I could see the light from outside barely coming through my curtains so I decided Lav was gonna have to wake her ass up like right now so she would go to sleep tonight . Since Billies in the hospital I can't really have her watching Lav for me while I go to work so I'm gonna have to bring her to work with me . Damn well assistant better not step on her hand again i don't really want to deal with that again . I went on my phone for a little while so Lav could get some more sleep but to be honest I just didn't want to wake her up because she's scares me when she's woken up so I'm just stalling but I'm gonna have to wake her eventually . But first I got to go piss so i roll her off me and i go to the bathroom . When I came out the room was darker and I couldn't really see shit but then out of the god damn darkness toddler lady decides to make her awake-ness known
"Mmm hi mommy i hungry"
Bitch gonna give me a fucking heart attack . Despite my heart being in my ass I walked over to the bed and turned the light on so I could actually see and went back in the bed and pulled Lav to so she could sit down on my lap and i could get my heart to stop beating so damn fast . Once i calmed down I picked Lav up and went downstairs to the kitchen so I could start making her dinner but when I was trying to sit her down in the living room so I could make her damn food she started crying so I had to just bring her into the kitchen with me . If she burns herself or gets hurt not my fault . I tried to sit her down in a chair at the table she started crying again so i just started cooking while carrying her . I was trying to fill the pot up with water so I could make spaghetti and i quickly realized cooking while carrying her was a bad fucking idea . I was either gonna drop the pot or Lav or drop Lav in the pot or drop the pot on Lav but any one of those ways wasn't gonna end well so I decided to just order a pizza and heat up a bottle for Lav in the water since it was already boiling . I ordered the food and went to sit down on the couch since I was struggling walking around while holding her up and making sure I didn't drop her ass . I turned on the tv and let her watch whatever came on and I watched Lav watch tv and suck her thumb for a while till I realized she still was undressed from when she took the dress of before her nap so I brought her back upstairs and put her pajamas on and grabbed her pacifier and went back downstairs . We watched some weird ass show with talking dogs and a boy or some shit when the pizza finally came so I sat Lav down at the table with her food and watched her eat for a while to make sure she didn't throw a tantrum and she seemed fine just really focused on that dog show . I sadly had to also watch the show because I didn't want Lav to get pissed off if I changed the channel so I sat there and watched it . After a while i started actually paying attention to the show and not gonna lie that shit was kinda interesting but why's there only one girl dog out of all of them ? Anyways I was distracted from my show when Lav just fell off the chair . Like just fell to the side and onto the floor . And stayed on the floor staring at the ceiling . Girl the fuck . I got out of my chair and onto the floor with Lav to pick her back up and sit her on the chair but she just fell over again as soon as i let go of her . Bro the fuq . I tried sitting her down FOR THE THIRD TIME and she fell off again so i picked her up and sat on the couch with her cause if she hit her head again this bitch was gonna have a concussion and i really didn't feel like driving to the hospital right now . We watched the misogynistic children's show until the episode was over and then I decided I needed to get Lav's ass into the bath so she could go to sleep early to wake up tomorrow to go to work with me . The whole time I was getting her into the bath tub she just stared at me and didn't say not one word . Creepy but ok at least she's not crying I guess . I did her whole night routine and laid her down with all her shit while I got ready for bed . After i was done we laid in bed for a little while watching forensic files . I'm really starting to get concerned about how much tv i let Lav watch like anytime I need to do something I sit her down in front of the tv and every night before we go to sleep we watch tv . I shut off the tv after my realization and I start getting comfortable pulling Lav closer to me and telling her goodnight and rightttt as I was closing my eyeballs so I could go to sleep this girl pushed me away from her pulls my shirt up and started sucking my nipple . Like girl have you ever heard of consent god damn . Anyways she cuddled closer to me and i was falling asleep anddddd I forgot I didn't put my alarms again so I set them and then fell asleep . Damn
Time skip : 2am cause Lav's a pain in the ass
I woke up confused as fuck . It's still dark in the room my alarm hasn't gone off and as far as I know Lav isn't crying or causing a scene so why in the shit am i up . Well i guess I was wrong about her not causing a scene because the next thing I feel is HER BITING MY NIPPLE . BITTING IT . WITH HER TEETH . HER TEETH . ON MY NIP . tears are in my eyeballs but let me pull myself together real quick
"Oh shit um Lav why are you biting down on my nipple please stop what's wrong"
Don't cry don't cry don't cry don't cry don't cry don't cry
"Yayyy mommy wakeeee"
Don't cry don't cry
"Yes I'm awake now why are you chewing on my nipple Lavender stop it"
She is now trying to eat my tiddies . SHE IS CHEWING ON MY POOR NIPPLE OH DEAR GAGA
"Mommy i thirsty i wan my milky peassssss"
She chewed on my tit..cause she was thirsty . I'm gonna cry . But I pushed through it like a real one and picked her up to go downstairs to get her god damn bottle . I got it out of the fridge and put it in the microwave to heat it up cause I'm not about to boil water right now just to heat up some damn milk . When its done i crawl up stairs and back into bed and let Lav lay on my chest while she drinks her fuckin milk . She starts falling back asleep and she hasn't even drank half of the milk . This bitch oh my gawd . I put the bottle on the floor and fall the fuck back to sleep
Time skip once more: morning 💅🏽
BEEP BE
"Oh fuck me"
"Really Mina that's the first thing you're gonna say when you wake up damn alright"
"How the fuck are you awake before me"
That's fucked up
"Pft the fuck if I know come on get your lazy ass up we have to work . Well you have to work i just have to sit there and be pretty for your assistant oh speaking of her does she still work there cause she was pretty hot "
Uh I know she is not saying that rn-
"Um excuse me are you just gonna pretend like you didn't tell YOUR GIRLFRIEND you think her assistants hot ok get your ass out of my bed and get ready damn"
"Ha calm down I was just fucking with you love you tho"
She leaned over to kiss me and got out of bed as if nothing happened . This bitch I'm gonna kill her . When she finally fucking got out of the bathroom and went to get dressed I was about to piss myself so i had to push her ass out of the way . After I did my whole routine of making myself human for work I left the bathroom to get dressed but I was a little SIDETRACKED by someone named LAVENDER sitting on the bed and putting her shoes on . Now you might be like ok Venable what's so weird about her putting on her shoes well the shes where 8 INCH STRIPPER HEELS . This bitch-
"Lav what the fuck are your shoes hold on what the fuck is your whole ass outfit what are you wearing-"
I was so focused on her shoes that I failed to notice her whole outfit . This girl was wearing a cropped tank top that barely went under her bra and the shortest skirt . Does this bitch not know its supposed to rain today when she gets pneumonia I'm gonna remind her of when she dressed like a stripper when it was raining . I didn't even know this girl owned any clothes that weren't toddler clothes what the hells going on-
"Oh Mina calm down stop being so uptight eat an edible or something but look now I'm as tall as you ha anyways I'm gonna go downstairs but hurry your gonna be late"
Uh WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED WASN'T SHE JUST BITING MY TIDDIE A COUPLE HOURS AGO BECAUSE SHE WANTED A BOTTLE AND NOW SHE THINKS SHE ALL GROWN AND SHIT . well i guess technically she is grown BUT MOST OF THE TIME I HAVE TO CARRY HER OR SHE WONT MOVE OR DO ANYTHING . I got dressed and put an extra pair of shoes in my bag for Lav because I know she's not gonna last the whole day in those shoes . I decided I wanted to give Lav a little scare so she would fall in those tall ass shoes and I could laugh at her so I crept down the stairs put my bag down and crept into the kitchen where she had her back turned towards me . As I was tiptoeing to her she looked like she was trying to open something and was muttering something to herself ? What is this girl doing oh my gaga-
"ugh I cant get this stupid shit open fuck this MINA WHAT ARE YOU DOING LEGOOOOO "
"oh fucks sake I'm right here don't yell what where you trying to open"
When she heard me it looked like she put whatever she had been trying to open behind something on the counter but I couldn't see what it was because she turned around and ran towards me and pulled me into a hug while walking away from the kitchen while still holding onto me so I moved with her . But I didn't say anything and just picked up my work bag while she got her purse and we left . When we got in the car she connected her phone and started playing her music loud as shit like it's barley gonna be 5am why is she playing this shit so loud . I didn't turn it down or anything cause she was singing and dancing so I didn't want to disturb her concert and piss her off . When we get to my work i turned off the car and started getting out while Lav was still sitting strapped in and texting on her phone so I left her in the car until she realized we where here. Took her a little while but when she noticed the car was quiet she looked up and I was standing outside her door waiting and she put her phone away and started getting out . But as soon as her foot met the ground and we went to stand up and fell . I couldn't help but laugh at her on the floor in her tall ass heels while she was still on the floor looking up at me trying not to laugh too
"Are you gonna just stand there and laugh at me or are you gonna help me up bitch damn"
She started laughing and I picked her up off the floor and dusted off her skirt and we went inside . When we got to my office she ran over to the couch and layer down and went back on her phone . When she laid down I saw that her knee was bleeding a little from when she fell so I went over to clean it and Lav didn't even realize I was cleaning her or that she was bleeding because her eyes where absolutely glued to her phones screen watching something . What is this bitch doing damn . I went over to my laptop and started working and I was trying to look at her screen but her big ass head was in the way so I couldn't really see much other like a leg or something so I decided to to being nosy and do my work . After like an hour Lav finally removed her eyes from the phone and she walked over to my desk and just sat on top on all the papers I had there . She just stared at me for a while until she fell forwards and wrapped her whole ass body onto me and started play yelling
"MINAAAA IM SO BOREDDDDD UGHHHH there's nothing to god damn do . Can I just sit here with you"
"Ok I guess but don't touch anything please damn"
Is she really just gonna sit on my lap the whole day...
Time skip: a few hours cos I'm lazy
After a while Lav fell asleep on my lap and i was able to work . When it was my lunch break I decided I should wake her up so we could go get lunch so I had to think of the most gentle way to wake her up so should wouldn't be pissed so I started shaking her slightly until her eyes started opening and she finally woke up . I told her we were gonna go get lunch and she just nodded and got up and got her purse . I decided we would just walk over to a cafe closer to my work so I wouldn't have to hear Lav blast her music the whole drive . Halfway through the walk I remembered she was in 8 inch heels and I started freaking out till I saw she was walking perfectly fine in them and walking fast then me . The fuck damn alright shit . When we got there we got out food and sat down and I had to know how this bitch was able to walk all the way in those shoes without falling . She falls when she's barefoot walking form one room to the other so how the fuck-
"Lav how can you walk all the way in those tall ass shoes and where did you even get them I've never seen you wear anything other than like overalls and dresses and shit"
"Mm funny story I used to be a stripper for a few years but I was kicked out of the club I worked at for getting into a fight with one of the other girls cause she was being a bitch and my brothers been supporting me financially since he wasn't really for me working at the club in the first place"
Lav . As a stripper . Lav at a strip club ? Lav fighting . This is...this is very not my Lav . And she has a brother ? What the fu-
"Damn why did you never tell me you had a whole ass brother"
Why did I ask her that first
"Well you never asked now did you silly"
True true
"And why did you never tell me you where a stripper when did you stop"
"Well i didn't stop they fired me and I don't know I never thought I had to tell you why is that a problem"
Oh fuck she's getting mad fuck fuck fuck fuc-
"No its not a problem and you didn't have to tell me I just wanted to know"
"Mm well now you do"
Fuck uh change the subject
"What was the fight you and the girl got into about"
"I caught her going through my bag and trying to steal my meds and then she tried to say they where hers but my name was on the bottle"
What kind of dumbass-
"Oh ok well that sucks I guess um well do you want to go back to work and we can just talk in my office?"
Bitch I don't know what else to do
"Oh yeah let's go it's fuckin cold"
We walked back and we got back to my office and she ran over to my desk to sit on it again on top of the papers I fixed since she sat on them earlier . Girl ok . I sat on my chair and she moved to sit on my lap and we talked for a while till I started getting emails and shit so I had to start working again . She stayed in my lap the whole time and fell asleep again and only woke up once to go to the bathroom and sat back down on my lap and fell back asleep . This bitch sleeps more than a newborn damn . When the day was finally over she was still sleeping so I picked her up while putting all my stuff away and went back to the car . I laid her down across the back seat and when we got back home she woke up and started crying . The silence was nice while it lasted I guess . She started crying harder and kicked her feet in the back seat and i was trying to get her out of the car without getting kicked by the damn shoes . That shits gonna hurt if I get kicked by those heels shit
"Mommy help mommy off shoe off help"
Oh fuck ok fuck
I took off the shoes and left them in the backseat and picked her up out of the car . She was still crying the whole way into the house and upstairs and when I was changing her into her pjs and walking around trying to heat up a bottle . When i got her into bed I was trying to get the bottle into her mouth but she was still crying so I laid down next to her and I started rocking her back and forth trying to calm her down . She was trying to say something but since she was crying she could get the words out so she's just screaming now on top of crying . After a while of me rocking her and praying to gaga she would calm down she stopped screaming and was crying softly trying to catch her breath . Thank fuck omg
"Baby why are you crying what's wrong you where so happy this morning what's wrong"
"i miss my mama i wan my mama"
Well shit I don't really know what to do-
"Oh honey I miss her too but she's gonna be ok we can visit her over the weekend ok"
She stopped crying and just nodded reaching for her bottle . I gave it to her and left her in the bed while I got ready to go to sleep . I turned in the tv and went to get ready . After i was done she was still awake and holding onto her stuffed animal and blanket while watching tv and when she saw me she gave me the bottle and I handed her her pacifier . I laid down next to her and held her while she was watching the weird ass dog show again . I let her watch the whole episode before I turned off the tv and let her get comfortable in my arms until she turned around to lift up my shirt to start sucking my nipple and she handed me the pacifier . I watched her until she fell asleep and waited a while to make sure she stayed asleep . I was thinking about Billie and how she was doing . She's probably still passed out but by the weekend she should be waking up I hope . I learned a lot today about Lav but by the end of the day she was still a toddler lady . But I guess I'm in love with a stripper . Well, ex stripper but you get the point
A/N hey bitches so this ones boring as shit and Lav is very much so different but I have a plan for her so just be patient everything is a part of my plan lmao uh I'm trying to update more often but shit in my life keeps happening so I've been trying to kinda re find my motivation to write but I STILL HAVE IDEAS FOR THIS SHIT and u don't really know if I like writing Lav not in her little state cos she reminds me too much if myself LMAO so she's probs gonna be a toddler lady from now on but idk yet uh this one was inspired by the t pain song LMAO but uh yeah k bye xxx