SIRIUS.
Alex had already opened the doors to go away, when Sirius slammed it shut in front of her face. She froze facing the doors; Sirius was standing right behind her back. He boxed her in putting his hands on both sides of Alex. She slowly turned around.
"I thought that you don't want me here anymore," Alex said slowly. Their bodies almost touched, Sirius felt her breath on his face, and she smelled like firewhiskey; he wanted to kiss her so badly, they were too close.
"And I thought that you don't want to leave," Sirius leaned in, their lips almost touched. With no reaction from Alex, Sirius stepped a half step towards her, completely boxing her in, their bodies touched.
Here she was – woman that Sirius still wanted, despite the fact that she had broken his heart. He could not remember the last time he wanted to kiss someone that badly, to have someone right here and now.
Sirius leaned in and kissed Alex, that kiss was not gentle, it was rough and asked for more. Sirius waited for rejection, but Alex just grabbed him and, turning around, pressed him against the door. She practically threw herself on top of him. Looked like how fast they tried to undress each other was not enough.
Sirius took off her coat and threw it down on the floor, and then he tried to take off her dress while Alex struggled with his vest and shirt. When they managed to mostly undress each other, Sirius lifted Alex and she wrapped her legs around his waist, he felt her skin on his. It was the most beautiful hellish pain he had ever felt.
Alex's kisses was insistent and demanding, there was no doubt that they wanted the same. She grabbed fistful of his hair so strongly that Sirius wanted to scream, but he silenced his pain. He carried Alex to kitchen and put her down on the kitchen table, with one swift motion wiping everything down on the floor.
He leaned over her, laying her down on the table, not for a moment they stopped kissing each other. Sirius felt her hand over his manhood; she stroked his growing erection, Sirius felt like he could lose his mind any moment. Anything that she did to him just turned Sirius on even more.
Finally he pushed away from Alex and looked at her, she was as far gone as he was. All her movements almost yelled how much she wanted him, she wanted for Sirius to have her now. Sirius tried to take off her stockings, but he gave up and just ripped them off.
Alex sat up and tried to undo his pants, but Sirius pushed her back down on the table, running his hands over her breasts. He unceremoniously yanked off her panties. Sirius grabbed one of her breasts that still had bra on, but other hand he slid between her legs. He was surprised what kind of warmth and wetness he found there. He found her pulsating center and started to gently massage it.
Sirius could feel how turned on she was, because only a couple of moments later she started to shake and moan silently. Alex's back arched, she strongly grabbed Sirius's hand which still hold her breast, and she put her other hand's fingers in her mouth. Sirius realized that he cannot wait any longer, he undid his pants and let them fall down.
He took himself in hand and stroked Alex's center a couple of times, she moaned in pleasure. And then with one strong push he entered her. Her back arched even more and she wrapped her legs around him. Alex rose up and pulled him closer. He pulled her hair and she threw her head back.
Sirius started to kiss her neck; her hair tickled his nose. Sirius inhaled the smell of her hair and skin; it was the most wonderful smell in the whole wide world. In that moment, Sirius felt like he had just returned home from very long journey. Being here – between her legs, feeling her skin on his – this was his home.
"Oh, Merlin..." Sirius heard Alex moan in his ear, her body started to shake even more, her nails dug in his back leaving red marks. He felt how Alex became even tighter and that made him feel even better. Sirius groaned still pressing his head in her neck.
Sirius felt her shake almost uncontrollably, it meant only one thing – she had reached her peak of pleasure. Sirius lifted her up and, exiting her, put her down on the ground. Alex pulled him closer and started to kiss him. But Sirius wasn't done yet. He turned her around and pushed her back on the table.
And then he saw the scars on her back. Sirius stopped for a moment; he slowly touched the place where the scars began right above her butt. Alex grabbed his hand and directed it in the direction of her breasts; she shook her head like saying not now.
He kicked her legs apart and once again entered her. Her wetness made him almost lose his mind; he caressed her body, while she pushed herself against him more demanding with each trust. Sirius put his hand around her and found his way down to her center; he started to rhythmically massage it.
Alex had leaned on the table with her hands, her head down, her hair brushed against the table top while they swayed in one rhythm. Sirius looked at her scars, he touched them once again, but Alex again grabbed his hand, but this time she put Sirius's fingers in her mouth and started to suck on them, scream of pleasure stuck in her throat, that's why she just moaned very loudly.
Sirius saw white dots floating before his eyes; that felt so good, he felt how Alex started to shake more and more. He was almost ready to come, he put both of his arms on her hips and thrusted in her even more aggressively.
"Fuck," Alex crashed on the table with her elbows, her back was rising and falling with her deep breaths, Sirius felt her hips twitching and then they both came.
Sirius put his hands on both sides of Alex, leaning on the table. He felt sudden tiredness in his muscles, his hands shook and he was panting. He looked at Alex beneath him; she looked like she just had run a marathon. Sirius remembered all the times he made her reach her peaks of pleasure, he smirked a little. The fact that he had made her feel good always fed his ego.
Sirius straightened himself and put his pants back on. He went to the sink and poured water in the glass and drank it empty. Then he filled it again and placed it next to Alex on the table. He returned to the sink and leaned against the cabinet next to it. He took out a cigarette from the pack and lit it with his wand.
He watched how Alex turned around and leaned against the table, her hands clutching the edge of the table. He assumed that her body wasn't really functioning at full capacity, Sirius's hands still shook. Alex stood by the table with head down, Sirius could not see what kind of emotions were written on her face. Alex looked naughty from head to toes; she had on just a pair of boots, shreds of what once was stockings and a bra. Last rays of today's sun played in her messy hair.
Alex took the glass of water and drank it, she finally looked at Sirius. He didn't look away, trying to figure out what Alex was thinking about. Sirius did not understand what had happened. Was this break up sex or get back together sex, of just sex? No, it most definitely was not just sex. It was clear as a day.
"Where is the bathroom?" Alex asked simply, still looking at Sirius, but her expression said nothing.
"In the bedroom to the right," he answered exhaling smoke.
Sirius watched how she picked up torn stockings, her underwear and on the way out her dress. Alex had changed, Sirius knew her just partly now. They never had sex like this ever before; it was full of anger, passion and some kind of desire to revenge something. This Alex with these new scars was a stranger to him, but at the same time it was his Alex that he still loved.
"Bloody hell!" Sirius heard Alex yell from the bathroom. He threw a cigarette in the sink and rushed out of the kitchen.
"I'm so stupid," Alex said in disbelief, when Sirius rushed in the bathroom. Alex was already dressed and stood in front of medicine cabinet, she held in her hand Megan's lipstick. If she held that lipstick in her hand, that meant that she had seen all other Megan's stuff in the cabinet.
Alex looked at Sirius with wide eyes. Surprise, disappointment and regret mixed on her face. She threw the lipstick in the sink and pushing Sirius away ran out of the bathroom. Sirius followed her.
"It's not how it looks," it was the only thing that he managed to say. Sirius tried to stop Alex, but she was putting on her coat already.
"Then what is the truth?" Alex asked angrily turning to face him. "And how do you think it looked?"
Sirius didn't knew what would be the right thing to say in this moment, he just stood and said nothing. He wanted to explain, but didn't knew how. Finally, Sirius just shrugged his shoulders and watched how Alex slammed the doors shut when she left.
ALEX.
Entering her home, Alex tightly closed the front doors and leaned against them with her back. She breathed heavily, she stayed like that for a couple of minutes when finally her legs gave in and she slid down on the floor, tears streaming down her face.
Alex cried about everything that had happened. About Sirius confessing that he still loved her, about her not giving any concrete answer, about sleeping with Sirius, about that she had told him that she would have died for him, about that he might be in a relationship with someone else. Someone else who could replace Alex in a heartbeat.
She did not knew how much time had passed while she sat on the floor and cried. It was already dark outside, when she for a countless time promised herself not to cry anymore. Alex stood up and went to the bathroom, she felt dirty in so many ways. She stepped in the shower to make her feel better just for a moment.
After the shower Alex got dressed and decided to do one thing that she could to keep her sanity intact (sort of) – work. She went outside and apparated to the Order headquarters to slide into well-known routine of work, alcohol and loneliness.
*
Alex sat on her couch and read a book, it was November's full moon, she once in a while glanced at a clock to make sure she still had plenty of time to get down to the basement. She still had an hour before full moon will rise.
Alex leaned to grab tea mug from the coffee table, when she heard a knock by the front door. She looked at the door and saw Noah's face through the window in the doors. She walked to the doors and opened them.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, furrowing her brow. Alex was not angry, she just was very surprised about Noah being here.
"I want to help you," he smiled warm and nice smile. "That's why I am here."
"It's full moon, you cannot be here," Alex noted, still her brow furrowing.
"That's exactly why I am here," he continued to smile, "I believe that you could use some help, please, let me help you."
"Remus spoke to you," Alex said it more like a fact not a question, "I don't believe it, I hoped he would keep his mouth shut." Alex sighed but kept looking at Noah.
"No," Noah looked puzzled, "I haven't spoken to him," Noah ran a hand through his hair, he was nervous. "Should I?"
"No," Alex said way too fast. "Why are you here?"
"After the last full moon you were so weak, you could barely stand, I want to help you," Noah explained. "I don't believe that you have someone else to help you, Alex, you cannot suffer on your own forever, please, let me be here and help you."
For a while, she studied Noah, before answering. "Fine," Alex gave up and stepped aside to let him in, "come inside."
"I hope that this time you had already brewed some potion for pain," Noah continued to smile; Alex started to feel like he did not take this seriously.
"Yes, I have, thanks for reminding me," she answered a little harshly. "Noah," Alex spoke to him, he turned to face her. "You will have to agree to some rules before I let you stay."
"Sure thing," he said more seriously.
"First, you can't leave this house," Noah did not understood what that meant, "there is a spell on this house, and I am only one who can let someone in, so if you leave you would not get back in."
"Okay," he said.
"Second, you can go down in basement only when the sun is up, you know that right?" Alex was not joking about anything that moment.
"I understand and I promise," Noah now was seriousness himself.
"Third, I would like to never no matter when it would be – after a day, two, a month, a year or ten – hear anything about how terrible I look in the morning after the full moon. If you want to help me, then help without condemning."
"Of course," Noah said, "I would never do that."
For a couple long moments Alex looked straight into Noah's eyes, trying to figure out if he was telling the truth. She had no reason to not trust him; he was one of the most trustworthy people she knew.
"Alex," Noah walked to her and took her arm in his, "I am here to help you not to make your life more complicated." Alex looked in his eyes and believed every word he was saying.
She leaned against him and hugged him. "Thank You," she softly mumbled.
*
Alex sat in the basement on cold stone floor and waited when full moon would rise. She was worried if her silencing charms were good enough for Noah to not hear anything. But she was happy that Noah was here to help. Nobody had told him to do that, he had decided that by himself. Alex smiled.
At that moment, the light from the full moon shone in the basement, and Alex felt the beginning of her transformation. It was as painful as always, she felt her bones break to immediately grow back in different formation. She could not bear it and started to scream, pain was excruciating.
"Hey girl, maybe you could tell us something about that mudblood Lily Evans?" Alex heard sharp voice asking the question, but she had no strength to answer, she only felt how silent tears fell down her face.
"No," she breathed with last strength left, "I don't know anything."
"Stop lying!" second voice shouted. She felt sharp pain in her leg, she could not move, but felt how blood started to pour out of the wound.
"I don't believe that you don't know anything," she heard the sharp voice talking even closer now, "I think that you are just pretending."
Someone kicked her in the back, she rolled over on her stomach, she felt dirt in her mouth from the floor, but she had no strength to move her body. Alex begged for her to die, because she had nothing in her to keep her alive.
"No worries," someone spoke, "we will cure out of you that willingness not to speak." Alex heard disgusting laughter; she knew what followed after that. But still it was impossible to prepare for that.
Alex heard someone say the Cruciatus Curse, her body was in pain again, her legs and arms were thrown in unnatural positions, her back was on fire. She begged once again for death, but only thing that she got was unconsciousness.
Alex felt her breasts fell and rise, she was cold, and she was covered in sweat, or was it blood? Alex felt how her body was shivering, with dread in her veins she realized that she could not move her body, so she just lied on the stone cold floor.
"Alex?" she heard soft voice calling her name, she tried to open her eyes, but she couldn't. She tried to answer, but nothing came out of her mouth, just one pathetic moan. Only thing she could do was shiver from cold and pain. Alex tried to move her arm, but nothing happened. She gave up, she did not care that she would freeze to death, she hurt way too much and everything was shit, she just gave up.
And at that moment someone picked up her broken body from cold floor. Alex felt how strong and warm hands held her tightly but gently. She felt how she was pressed against warm body, Alex felt someone's strong and warm chests by her side. She still couldn't move, but she knew that she had been carried up and away from the basement. She inhaled the smell and warmth of someone's skin. It smelled like forest and sea, it was Noah who carried her away from the place she hated the most.
Alex felt how Noah carried her to the bedroom, after a while she felt warm water droplets running down her body. Noah put her down on her feet, but still held her pressed against his chest. Alex felt how he took off her T-shirt and underwear, only things that she was wearing. Alex knew that now she was naked, but only thing that she could do was rest her head against his chest and hope that pain will go away.
Hot water burned her body, but Alex knew that she needed warmth to heal and get back her strength, her body was way too cold to function properly. After a couple of minutes she realized that Noah was washing her back, which was covered with freshly opened scars, he still held her tightly pressed against his body.
After a while Alex could open her eyes, first thing she saw was her bloody clothes on the shower floor. She lifted her head, she realized that Noah was also naked. When did he undress? She slowly looked at Noah, he just looked back with love and worry in his eyes. Alex sighed.
"Everything's going to be fine," he said, still holding her. Alex closed her eyes, she felt his hand on her cheek.
Alex tried to stand by herself, but it wasn't easy, but she needed to try, she hated this helpless situation. She heard how Noah turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. She felt a towel around her.
Noah helped her to get to the bed and sat her down. Alex drank all the potions that Noah gave her, she knew that it would help her, but her mind was still foggy, she couldn't think clearly, she was ready to fall asleep on the spot. She didn't remembered how it happened, but she was already in bed under the blanket and Noah was lying beside her. He pressed her against his warm body and quietly whispered in her ear that it's all right, that everything's going to be fine, that he will take care of her.
NOAH.
Noah woke up because there was a knock on the door. He looked at the clock, it was already afternoon. He tried to get up without waking Alex up, because she needed some sleep like fish needed water. He had already put on some pants and reached for a shirt when someone knocked again, he gave up on a shirt and rushed to the door, hoping that Alex would not wake up.
Entering the living room, he saw that it was Sirius who was at the front door. Noah almost stopped completely, before composing himself and walking to open the door.
"Black," Noah said opening doors in front of very surprised Sirius.
"Thompson," Sirius answered, they looked at each other for a moment. Noah realized that they both were the same height, so it meant that no one was superior in this situation. He felt how November's cold air chilled his naked torso, which had warmed in bed next to Alex.
"Alex is sleeping," Noah broke the silence, "do you want me to tell her something when she wakes up?" Noah knew too well how ambiguous that sounded, but he didn't care. And the fact that he was half naked didn't made this situation better. Sirius kept looking at Noah, looked like Sirius was disappointed.
"No," he finally answered, "just that I was here." He turned and left. Noah watched how Sirius with his head hanging low and his hands in his pockets walked to the gravel road and apparated away.
Noah closed the doors and walked back to the bedroom. He stood in the middle of the room and thought about leaving, but changed his mind, he wanted to know that Alex would be fine. Noah took off his pants and got back to bed, but he knew that he would not fall back to sleep anymore. He took a book from Alex's nightstand and started to read it, but he couldn't concentrate. His mind was somewhere else.
Noah had returned from France with completely different look at life. Almost two weeks that he had spent there had changed his life. This time he had very little to do there, and he had a lot of free time, maybe more free time than necessary.
Almost every night he sat at the pub which was next to the apartment which was assigned to him. At the pub he befriended the owner – elderly man with a lot of knowledge about life under his belt – and he helped Noah.
Noah's French was good, he even thought that he was fluent in French, so he had no problems to communicate with pub's owner, after a couple quiet evenings at the pub the old man started to ask Noah what was wrong with him. And that's how Noah told him everything about Alex, Sirius and his heartbreak. Old man's advice was wise and it helped Noah a lot.
He had returned to England with determination to help Alex, he had decided to act normal as much as possible, because it will be best for him and the rest as well. He had promised to give Alex time and space, and not to complicate her life, and he wanted to keep that promise to her. He just wanted to protect Alex, and he thought that for now it was enough.
Noah tried to concentrate on the book, and after a while he was sucked in by the plot and characters. He finished the book and put it back on the nightstand, it was almost evening. He turned his head to Alex and saw that she was up and looked at him.
"You are still here," Alex said quietly. Her look told him how much she appreciated that.
"I just wanted to know if you are okay," Noah answered and smiled.
"Thanks," she sighed, "I don't know what I would do without you."
"It's nothing." Noah got up from the bed. "I'll go and make something for us to eat." He got dressed and left Alex in the bedroom.
After a couple of minutes Alex entered the kitchen and started to help him prepare dinner. They worked in silence, Noah was happy that this was that pleasant silence which was so familiar. Alex still looked tired, but she looked much better than in the morning.
"You healed my scars and bruises," Alex said quietly, stirring the sauce in the pan. Noah looked at her but she was stubbornly staring at the sauce.
"Yes," Noah replied, "but I couldn't heal your scars on the back, but you know that."
"Mhm," Alex dragged out, Noah waited for her to say something, but she was silent for a while. "There are way too much magic, that's why it is impossible to heal them with simple spells," she spoke after a while. "Healers say that they will heal by themselves, but I'm not that sure, because they open up every month," there was sadness in her voice.
"I'm sorry," Noah said.
"It's not your fault," Alex said quietly and kept on stirring the sauce.
They ate in silence. Noah knew that he needed to mention Sirius, but he really didn't wanted to. But he had no choice. Only at the end of their meal he gathered courage.
"While you were asleep, Sirius came," Noah said trying to sound casually.
"Hmm..." Alex stopped eating and looked at Noah, she said nothing. Alex didn't even asked what he wanted. Noah couldn't figure out if that was a good or a bad sign.
They finished dinner in silence, Noah took away the dirty dishes and went to grab his coat.
"So, I made sure that you are okay," he said putting his coat on, "I can leave now."
"See you on Tuesday at the Order's meeting?" Alex asked.
"Yeah," he said already by the door.
"Bye," Alex said, "thanks for everything," she added when he was already outside.
"Don't mention it," he answered and turned his head to smile to her, and then he was gone.
*
Noah watched Alex and Sirius for the next weeks. Alex still ignored Sirius, but it was completely different than before. Noah had suspicions that something had happened between them. He tried not to think about all the possibilities that maybe had happened between them, but still some thoughts managed to sneak in his mind. It was painful, but he tried his best not to show it.
It was already the beginning of December, when Noah and Alex had been sent to recon mission. It was the first mission to be with Alex after his trip to France. And now he looked at everything with completely different mindset.
They were caught by the Death Eaters, but they managed to fight them off. Noah was so surprised by how good Alex was. She could do all the curses wordlessly and she was fast and logical. Noah thought that Alex would became auror just after a year of training, because even now she was better than a couple of aurors he knew.
Like always she was amazing – Alex repelled curses and made counterattacks immediately, her motivation to be the best in every field was just delightful. And she managed that with such ease.
After they got rid of the Death Eaters they apparated to the headquarters to report back. Noah talked to the person who they needed to report back, and then they stepped outside of the house into the chilly December's air. Noah watched Alex, her hair was messy and cheeks flushed from the fight, but she smiled and looked at him.
"Can I interest you with some firewhiskey at my place?" Noah asked, but didn't expected for her to agree. They walked down the street to apparate away without notice. Alex hadn't said anything, Noah didn't hope that she would agree.
"Why not," she suddenly said, Noah looked at her, Alex smiled her warm smile and Noah couldn't resist smiling back. He took her arm and apparated both of them to his apartment.
They sat on the couch in his living room and drank firewhiskey, they talked about rubbish, nothing important. Alex laughed, Noah noticed her still flushed cheeks, messy hair, her wonderful smile, they acted like they still were together.
Noah smiled, considering everything, he felt happy. He continued to look at her, and Alex looked back at him. She leaned to grab her whiskey glass, when she suddenly spilled whiskey on herself.
"Such a clutz," she said and with laughter on her lips went to the kitchen. Noah followed her. Without any shame, she took off her blouse and began to rinse it under the running tap. Noah walked to her and, obviously not thinking straight, kissed her on the back of her neck.
He felt how Alex froze, but she said nothing. Noah kept on kissing her neck and shoulders; he wrapped his arms around her waist.
"Really?" Alex asked in disbelief, turning around.
Noah just could not stop thinking how hot she looked while she was fighting Death Eaters. He smiled his most charming smile and leaned in to kiss her, she didn't resist.