School has been the same for a week until Biology. Bella and I were in the same class as well with her boyfriend and they sat at the same table together while I sat in the back with Casey Lavenson. She was alright but a bit too peppy and optimistic in my opinion.
However, today, when I got to class Bella and Edward, weren't there. Seriously? She was skipping with him? I didn't even want to know why. But soon, I figured it out.
"Alright, class! Today we are going to be doing blood-typing like last year!" said the teacher. I immediately paled and started shaking like a leaf. I couldn't do blood, not after the accident. He passed out the materials to the class while I stared at the edge of the desk, my fingernails biting into my arm, leaving tiny crescent-shaped marks.
My breathing became quicker and eradicate, I was having a panic attack. If I didn't get somewhere quiet soon, I was going to break down and start crying while having vivid flashbacks to the accident. But I was too late. People started pricking their fingers and all I could see was blood, blood, blood.
"Caroline? Are you alright?" asked Casey, her bleeding finger on the table. I felt incredibly light-headed as my vision swam. I was hyperventilating while the class started to stare.
"May I go to the bathroom?" I asked my teacher in a breathy tone, my face as pale as a sheet of paper. I didn't wait for a response and dashed from the room with my messenger bag on my shoulder. The door to the closest bathroom banged open as I scrambled inside and stopped in front of the sinks. I set my bag down and started fumbling through it, looking for my anxiety medicine.
I couldn't breathe at all.
"How would you rate your anxiety attack?" my Abuela would've asked. Ten being a, I need to go to the hospital. One a, give me a second then I'll be fine. This one was a nine, one of the worst I'd had. My hands were shaking so bad I couldn't open my pill bottle until small pixie-like hands took it from me and dropped two in my hand.
I didn't look who it was, taking water straight from the tap and swallowing the pills. They wouldn't kick in until another ten minutes though. By now, I realized I was full-on sobbing and hyperventilating. Someone grabbed my shoulders and looked me in the eyes calmly, it was Alice.
"Caroline, I need you to look at me, okay?" said Alice calmly with concern. "Can you breathe in deeply for me?" she asked like a therapist. "Slow your breathing down or you'll pass out." I focused on what the doctor at the hospital when the accident had first happened told me.
"If you're ever having an uncontrollable anxiety attack, just think about calm things. Like clouds, or grass. Kay? Thinking of calm environments may help you with your breathing,"
Grass. I pictured light green grassing on an open field, blowing gently in the wind as the trees surrounding the hill shook, shedding some of their leaves. Puffy clouds floating above carelessly without care. The beautiful blue sky.
Slowly, my breaths became less 'fish out of water' and more manageable. Alice wrapped me in a hug, patting me soothingly on the back while I slowed down my breathing until it was normal.
After a moment she released and looked me in the eye. "You alright?" she asked with her long eyelashes batting as she blinked. Of course, she would look perfect while I probably looked like a raccoon with my pink, puffy eyes and tear trails.
"Sorry," I said in my raspy voice. It always sounded like that after one of my attacks. She raised her eyebrows in surprise at me.
"What are you sorry for?! It's okay to cry sometimes. Do you want to tell me why?" she asked with her sweet caramel eyes kindly. I felt like I'd run a marathon and my chest physically hurt. She pulled me over to one of the benches situated on the walls and sat me down, maintaining eye contact.
"You know, Carlisle my father, he's a doctor. I've read some of his books you know," Alice said, rifling through her bag and handing me a tissue box. How'd she fit one of those in her bag? She just carry those around?
"Alright," I sniffled, acknowledging her and wiping my face. I didn't have to worry about wiping makeup off because I hardly ever wore any cause of my dark complexion and I didn't see the point in it. My skin had a way darker tan than Renee, Charlie, or Bella.
"You seem to be extremely traumatized," said Alice quietly, trying to look me in the eye. I maintained eye contact with the ground, noticing how 'lovely the tiles were this type of year.' When I didn't respond Alice pushed on.
"Did something happen Caroline?" she asked gently, offering me another tissue. I was silent for a moment, debating on whether or not to tell her. When I opened my mouth to finally talk, my voice was raspy and quiet, just above a whisper.
"Uh, my friend was murdered two and a half months ago," I said. All the life in me felt like it had been sucked out and I was just a bag of meat waiting to fall over. Alice's face was surprised, her eyes widened and her golden eyes held compassion, something I didn't want.
"Oh, I'm so sorry Caroline!" she said, then quieter, "How did he die?" This was the question I had been dreading.
"I don't even know. That's the horrible part," I said, tears slipping from my eyes without permission. This seemed to confuse Alice further, but she didn't push me. She just patted me on the back as we sat there in comfortable silence apart from my occasional pitiful sniffles.
"What was his name?" she eventually asked.
"Trishton Hayes," I said fondly.
"Do you want to tell me about him?" Alice asked, and truth be told, I did.
"He was my best friend. We'd first met in detention. He wasn't bad or anything, he'd just been late to class helping a freshman find their room. He had the softest brown hair that fell over his left eye and the kindest green eyes.
"We used to always crack jokes, tease each other, once we even had a race at my Abuela's house to the massive oak tree she had in the backyard and he ran right smack into it!" I laughed as Alice smiled from the corner of my vision. "He had a massive black eye for a week and whenever someone asked what happened he'd say he got in a fight with another boy to defend me. I'd always smirk at him and he'd shrug then I'd embarrass him and say that I could handle myself and if that anyone needed protecting it was him." I smiled softly at the memory. By now I wasn't really talking to Alice specifically, it was more of just talking out loud.
"The first time I saw him, we were both sitting in detention. He was wearing his rusty brown leather jacket that just became kinda traditional. We just kinda locked eyes and it was like the whole world froze. I knew that he wasn't normal, but it didn't matter. It felt like the universe was pushing us together," I sighed, then realized how silly I sounded. Alice's face looks panicked as if she knew something I didn't.
I blushed, looking down. "I sound silly," I told her, standing up. "Thank you, Alice, really," I said genuinely. She nodded, then I left with memories of Trishton running through my head.