Chaloo bhai!!!
I am back!!! Aaj Faizi aur Koel ki shaadi hogi!! (hopefully)
Ismein koi sides nahi hain. Actually inki families nahi hain. Na Koel ki side se na Faizi ki side se. Toh sab dono ki side par hi hain. Shaadi toh phir bhi grand wali hai. Guests ke naam par Faizi ka poora moholla aur uski ex-girlfriends aayin hai.
Main pehle hi warning de rahi hoon, iss chapter mein thoda pagal pan and comedy added hai. Precautions le lena.
Happy Reading!!
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Monami- Aaaahhhhh!!! mera saar!! Ufff!!!!! UTHO SAB!!!
Karan- Mhmm, Monuuu sone do. Sar mein bura wala dard ho raha hai!!
Faizi- Abbey yaar time kya ho raha hai?? Apni hi shaadi mein late jaoonga mein!!
Koel wakes up with a jerk- O teri!! Aaj toh humari shaadi hai. Abbeyyy sab UTHOOOO!!!!!
Everyone wakes up holding their head.
Sid- Uff bro!! Itna dard kyun ho raha hai sar mein??
Sanju- Aur hum zameen par kya kar rahe hain??
Monami- KARAANNNN!! Tumhari shirt KE BUTTON KYUN KHULE HUYE HAIN??!?!?!
Karan- WHAT?!?!
He quickly wears his shirt properly.
Sumanji- Monami, teri lipstick ko kya huaaa???
Monami and Karan's eyes widen.
Monami- K-Ka-Karannnnnnnn!!!! Humne kya kiya???
Karan- Humnein nahi tumnein!! Main bohot seedha hooon, maine kuch nahi kiyaaa!!
Faizi- Haan tabhi tere chest and cheeks par lipstick and nail scratches ke marks thee!!
Karan- Oye, chup kar! Apni halat dekh!! Neck par yeh hickey ke marks Koel ke foundation se chupane padenge tujhe!!
Faizi- Oh bhai!! Yaarrrr!!!
Monami- Experienced ho?? Tumhein foundation ka idea kahan se mila Karan? *suspiciously*
Karan- Officer hoon mein. Chot aur identification marks chupane ke liye hum kaafi baar foundation use karte hain. Aaj apni wali ke diye huye hickeys chupane ke liye use karenge!!
Monami *embarrassed*- Oh accha accha.
Sid- Mere aur Sanju ke lips toh poori tarah se sooj gaye hain :((
Monami- Shit! Mere aur Karan ke bhi!!
Faizi- Besharam log!! Ahahaha
Karan- Hum shaadi shuda hai, tu apni dekh!!
Faizi- Oops! Bhool gaya tha.
Sanju- Uss sab par baad mein lad lena, par ab in sooje huye honto (lips) ko kaise chupayien?
Suddenly Koel's playlist switches on.
🎶Chipka le saiyan fevicol se,
fevicol se o saiyan fevicol se 🎶
Koel- Shit sorry! Patah nahi kaise baja! Oops.
Faizi- Yaar, ab kya karein???
Bala- NAHHHHIIIIIIIII!!!!
Sid- Balaji Bro!!!! Aap kyun cheek rahe ho abb??
Bala- Mein Chitra ke saath kaise so gaya??? Abbey yaaarrrrrrrr!!!!!
Chitra- #MMMMUUMMMMMYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!! MEIN BARBAD HO GAYI 😭😭
Premji- Ek minute!!! Kal raat huya kya tha??Aur yeh ghar mein sab kuch aise bikhra huya kyun hai? Cyclone aya tha kya? Maa ke poot serial mein bhi
KARAN- SHUT UP!! EKDUM CHUP!!!
Monami- Time toh abhi 5 30am ho raha hai!
Faizi- Raat ko kya huya tha?? humein kuch yaad kyun nahi hai??
Karan- Ek minute, events ko order mein dalte hain. Pehle hum log apne ghar se yahan aye, Faizi and Koel ke clothes and decorations select karne ke liye. Then khana khaya, phir so gaye, then 9pm uthe, phir online food order kiya, then khana khaya and then?
Sid and Sanju- WOH COKE?!?!?
Faizi- Oo teri!! Woh coke nahi daaru thiiii!!!
Karan- Haiinn??
Faizi- Haan, iss bottle mein se daaru ki smell a rahi hai, aur abhi humein hangover ho raha hai!!!!
Karan- Ooohhh bhai!! Mar gaye!! Ab shaadi mein aise sar dard ke saath kaise jayenge?? Woh guests bhi toh alag alag prakar ke jaati se aate hain!!!!
Chitra- #konsi car??
Karan- PRAKAR!!! MATLAB TYPES.
Chitra- #oohhh okay.
Suddenly Karan's phone rings.
Karan- Hello,
ji,ji, nahi woh,
ji thik.
Okay, thank you bye!
Monami- Kon tha?
Karan- Guests mein se koi tha. Keh rahe the ki woh apne 3 bacche chod kar jayenge humare paas jab tak shaadi start nahi hoti.
Sid- Humne day care service for kids kab kholi? Karan bro, side business??
Karan- Shut up yaar!! Arey uhein salon and parlour jana tha ready hone ke liye, isiliye.
Ding Dong!
Faizi- Lagta hai aa gaye!! Oyee Bala aur Premji. Aap dono hum sab mein se thode thik thaak lag rahe ho, jao darwaza kholo aur bacchon ko andar bula lo. Hum sab fresh hokar aate hain.
Karan- Lekin yeh log 5 30am ko chod kar jaa rahe hain apne bacche ko. Ajeeb log hain!!
Koel- Lagta hai chutkara paana chahte hain bacchon se
Sid- Phir toh humare liye khatra hai.
Bala and Premji go and open the door and the kids enter.
AT 6am
Everyone had freshened up. The three children (1 girl, 2 boys) were obediently sitting on the sofa in utter silence.
The madali was coming down the stairs.
Karan- Arey wah! Yeh bacche toh disciplined lagta hai. Kuch seekho isne!!
Monami- Huhh!!! hum nahi hain??
Karan- The toh nahi, ab bhi konsa doodh ke dhule ho. Inn bacchon se kuch seekho.
Monami- Yeah, yeah WHATEVER!
Saying so they went near the children.
Sid- Hi Children!! I am Sid, Sid G!
Boy1- I am Ritwik.
Boy2- I am Arush.
Girl- I am Pallavi.
Monami- Hello Ritwik, Arush and Pallavi. I am Monami, Monami Shergill.
Arush- Cute name!! Hot bhi ho!
Everyone's eyes widen.
Ritwik- Nahi yaar woh wali zyada hot hai. *pointing to Sanju*
Sid and Karan- KYAAA?!?!?!
Bala- Yeh bacche hain?
Sumanji- Ab aya inka asli chehra saamne
Premji- Itni bhaukal type flirting toh maa ke poot serial mein nayak ne nayika ke saath bhi nahi ki hogi!!
Pallavi- Nahi yaar, yeh ladkiyan toh thik hi hain, main hi inse zyada hot lagti hoon. But yeh ladka *pointing to Karan* bohot handsome hai yaar!! Uff!!
Koel- Faizi, tumhare hi bichdi huyi aulad lagte hain mujhe yeh!!
Faizi- KOEEELLLL!!!!
Sumanji- *pointing to Faizi* Bacchon, jao papa ko namaste karo!!
Faizi- AREY AAJ MERI SHAADI HAI YAAR, TUM KYA BACCHON TAK AA GAYE!?!?
Arush *to Monami*- Hi Monu babe, mujhe bhook lagi hai. Anything good to eat?
Karan- MONU BABE?!?!? OUT, GET OUT!! GHAR KE BAHAR!!
Sid- Arey kya bacchon se bhi jealous ho rahe ho!!
Karan- Bacchon wale harkatein hain inki??
Ritwik- Sunjuuu, Shonaaa!!! inka toh chalta hi rahega. I want something sweet!!
Sid- SHONAA?!?!?!?!?!? OYEEEE!! GHAR SE NIKAL ABHI, WARNA MERA ROTR ROOP DIKH JAYEGA!! SHIV JI SE BHI BHAYANKAR TANDAV HAI MERA!!!
Karan- *mimicking Sid* Arey kya bacchon se bhi jealous ho rahe ho!!
Pallavi- Aye, Handsome and hot! *towards Karan* mujhe actually bhook lagi hai. Breakfast mein kya hai??
Bala- Baap re!! Inse toh mujhe flirting ki classes leni chahiye. Matlab Gazab!! Alag hi level hai yeh toh!!
Ritwik *to Faizi*- Toh inmein se humari hone wali bhabhi urf Koel kon hai?
Koel- Main hoon.
Arush- Test lena padega.
Koel- Hain, konsa test?
Pallavi- Ab Faizi bhai se shaadi karne ke baad aap humari bhabhi banogi. Toh aap uss layak ho woh check karne ke liye test.
Faizi- Nahi nahi, woh mein aur Karan le chukein hai. Koi baat nahi!!
*nervous laughs*
Arush- Aur Pallavi aur Monu babe ko tum nikame mein patani kya dikh gaya, tumhari tehkikat bhi main karoonga baad mein *to Karan*
Recruits and Agents- Oooohhhh bhaaiiii, Karan ki mooh pe bezatti!!!!!
Karan- Mera sasur yahan pe na hokar bhi apni kami mehsoos nahi hone denge!!
Pallavi stands in front of Karan- *to Arush* Oyyeee, Mere Karan ke khilaaf ek lavz nahi!
Monami- WHAT?? MERE KARAN?!!! AREY SHAADI KAR RAKHI HAI USNE MUJHSE!!! BHAIYA BOLO USSE TUM!!
Pallavi- Bhaiya is too old fashioned. Plus, aise hot aadmi ko bhaiya kon bole??
Karan's eyes widen- Ab samajh aa raha hai ki inke parents ne inhein 5 30 ko hi humare paas chutkara paane ke liye kyun choda. Yeh baache nahi bawandar hain!!!
Chitra- #right. Aaj ki generation ka legit kya hoga!!!
Koel- Meine toh pehle hi kaha hai, inka DNA check karo. 100% Faizi ke hi koi bichdi huyi aulad honge!!!
Faizi- AYYEEE, NAHI. YEH TOH HUMARE AMMI ABBU LAG RAHE HAIN. INKI LEVEL KI FLIRTING TOH MEIN POORE JANAM BEETNE PAR BHI NAHI SEEKH PAYENGE HUM!!
Chitra- Ab mein apna Kavya mode on karti hoon.
Bala- Hain? Yeh kya hai??
Chitra- Meine aisa kaafi logon ke saath kiya hai jo mere saath flirt karte the. Kavya mode on hote hi, woh bhaag jaate hain.
Bala- Karke dikhao!
Chitra kneels down till the height of the three children.
Chitra- #bacchon. Iss umar mein aisi cheezein nahi karte. Tumhein padhai karni chahiye. Mann laga kar padho. Uske baad acche se exams do and apni family ko proud karo. IAS bano and desh ke liye badhe badhe kaam karo. Abh tum padhoge tabhi toh name karoge... (and she continues)
Bala- Yeh toh pirated version of Kavya lag rahi hai!!!
Ritwik- BAASSSSS!!! BAS KARO MERI MAA!!! HO GAYA, SAMAJH GAYE HUM. TUM HOT HO LEKIN HUMARE LIYE PERFECT NAHI HO. THANK YOU.
Everyone facepalms.
Premji goes and pulls the cheeks of the kids.
Premji- Alelele, kitne cute ho tum bacche. So sweet, ekdum pyaare and "bhole bhale". Kitne chote ho aap, aur aapke gaal bhi kitne soft hain!! Sacchi mein bohot cute ho aap. Main Premji.
Pallavi- Wahi dhoomtanana wale radio na?
Everyone laughs.
Karan- Mujhe inki moms se poochna hai ki inhone inn atom bombs ko paida karne se pehle kya khilaya.
Monami- Kyun?
Karan- Tumhein, tumhari pregnancy mein nahi khilaoonga.
Monami- Tumhara kuch nahi ho sakta, sacchi!!
Ritwik- Haa toh Sanju Shonaa...
Sid- Arrey mere baap, please chod de mere hone wale bachon ki maa ko!!
Ritwik- Oyee?? batameez!! Jab ek aashiq apni aashiqui se baat kar raha ho toh gadhon ko beech mein interfere nahi karna chahiye!!
Sid- ABBEY TERI TOHH!!!
Both Karan and Sid run behind Arush and Ritwik respectively.
Arush and Ritwik hide behind Koel.
Faizi- Nahi, Koel ke baare mein toh sochna bhi mat!!
Karan- Possessive ho raha hai?? *smirks*
Faizi- N-nahi matlab woh toh mein isiliye bol raha that kyunki woh ab umm woh...
Sid- Kya woh....
Faizi- Koel apni alien like baton se bacchon ki jaan na lele isiliye bola!
Koel- Huh!! FAIZI!!! MEIN TUMSE SHAADI NAHI KAROONGI AISA BOLA TOH!! Duffer!! *Death glare*
Faizi- Arrey nahi nahi woh mein ub umm...
Pallavi- Ssh, sshh zip it!! Now eyes on me.
Everyone- Yes madam!
Pallavi- Hum aapki sirf taang kheech rahe the. Hum itne bhi bigde huye nahi hain. And Monami didi mein Karan bhaiya hi boloongi.
Ritwik- Right, mein aur Arush bhi bas mazaak kar rahe the. Hum bhi Monu di aur Sanju di hi bolenge.
Everyone sighs in relief.
Arush- Woh toh humne Karan bhaiya ko "inse kuch seekho" bolte suna toh humare dimaag mein yeh prank aya.
Faizi- Pichle 24 ghante actually 12 ghante mein tune 2 blunders kar chuke hain Karan. Tu meri shaadi ka dushman kyun bana huya hai??
Karan- Arey yaar sorry, dono hi unintentional thi yaar.
Suddenly a phone rings.
Pallavi takes it out from her pocket and speaks.
Pallavi- Oye dikhayee nahi deta mein breakfast karne jaa rahi hoon? Stupid!! Baad mein phone karna idiot!!
Saying so she cuts the call.
Chitra- #OMG. Iss umar mein meri pocket se chillad aur chute (coins and spare money) and eclaires tofffee ke siwai kuch nahi nikalta tha aur yeh phone nikal rahi hai!!
Karan- O teri!! Yeh toh mera phone hai!! Abeeeyyyy!!!
He takes his phone from her.
Bala- Yeh toh mujhse bhi badi level ki chorni nikli bey!!!
Karan- Shit Nahiiii!!! Main pit java, lut java, mar java!!!
(temporary Premji's aatma inside Karan)
Monami- Congratulations!! Lekin huya kya??
Karan- Shri Shri 108 sasur ji ka phone tha!!!!
Sid- R.I.P Bro!
Faizi- Kya kush khabri hai!!
Karan glares at everyone and then calls back Dr. Mahajan. Rest go for having breakfast.
At 2pm.
Everyone was getting ready while the kids were studying and asking their doubts.
Pallavi- Monami di, yeh photosynthesis kya hota hai??
Sid- Wahi jo Sanju mujhe subhah uthakar karwati hai.
Arush- Huh?
Sid- Khana pakane ka process. Actually iske do parts hain, pehle Karan bro dorwate (running) and then Sanju khana pakwati hai!
Ritwik- Dorwane se kya relation hai khana pakane ka??
Sid- Sunlight. Solar energy se hi toh khana pakta hai.
Arush, Ritwik and Pallavi- WHAT??
Monami- Tum iski baaton par dhyaan mat do. Mein samjhati hoon.
Monami explains the kids and too dives into studying. Soon Kavya ka video call ata hai. Bas phir kya? dressing room classroom ban jata hai.
Karan- Kavya ko India ka president bana de? Monami ko IAS?
Koel- Kyun??
Karan- Itni dhyaan aur gehrai se toh Albert Einstein ne bhi padhai nahi ki hogi jitna yeh Monami aur Kavya karte hain!!
Bala- Ek minute ek minute, yeh eye stine kon hai?
Sid- Balaji bro eye stine nahi Einstein!! Arey woh E=MC^2 wala bro!!
Bala- Arrey iss aadmi ko science mein kisne dala!! English mein daalna chahiye tha!! Saala E, M aur C toh english ke alphabet hain!!! Aur order mein dalein to pehle C aata hai!!!
Chitra- #mutual feelings :((
Karan- Yeh 8th mein bhi kaise pass ho gaye??
Faizi- Khuda jaane, par abhi aap humari madat kijiye! Sherwani tight aa rahi hai!!
Karan- Thoos thoos ke pizza khayega toh yahi hoga!!
Faizi- KARAN!!!
Karan- Haan haan chal. Madat karta hoon.
Sid- Waise Sanjuuuu, Meine na apne bacchon ke naam shortlist kiye hain...
Karan- 5278 names ko short list kehta hai tu??
Faizi- Abey 2-3 din pehle hi toh shaadi huyi thi!! Bacche ki good news kab ayyi? Aur humein kyun nahi pata iske baare mein??
Monami- Main Massi Banoongi!!
Karan- Correction!! Mami!
Sid- Correction!! Bua!
Monami- Rehne do!! Jo baby bolega, uski marzi!
Sanju- Ek minute!!!! MAIN PREGNANT KAB HUYI?? AREY USKA E-EK PROCESS HOTA HAI JO NAHI HUYA!! KUCH BHI MAT BAKO SID!!
Sid- Sanju, tum co-operate kare toh 2 din mein hi aa jayegi!! Lekin abhi ke liye advance mein names dhoond raha hoon!
Everyone facepalms.
Faizi- Hey Allah, kya hoga inn sabka!!
Karan- Wahi jo tera bhi hoga! Sab ek hi naav mein hain!!
Faizi- woh bhi hai 😂
Bala takes the phone from the kids and talks to Kavya online on the phone.
Bala- Hiii Kavya, how are you? All good? Reached home safely?? I miss you :)
Karan ka phone uske haathon se girke khudkushi (suicide) kar leta hai, Faizi sofa ki doosri taraf gir jaata hai, Sid jo paani pee raha tha woh uske mooh se full force se nikal jata hai, Sanju aur Koel zameen par gir padhte hain, Premji ji cheekte hain aur Sumanji aarti ki thali taiyaar karti hain, Chitra jo lipstick laga rahi thi woh uske cheeks par chali jaati hai, Monami apne aadarniye priye dewar ji ki tabiyat check karne lag jaati hai.
Karan- Abey gareebon ke SRK, konsi kitab se english seekh kar aya hai?? Aaj ekdum correct bola!!!
Faizi- Pakka koi sasta nasha karke aya hai jo ekdum perfect english bola!!!
Sid- Kal raat ki daaru utri nahi hai shayad!
Monami- Bala tumhara pulse rate and temperature toh theek hai. Chakkar ya kuch toh nahi aa rahe na?? Hayee, situation critical lagti hai!! Aaj ekdum perfect english kaise boldi??
Koel- Pagalpan ka daura toh nahi pada?!?
Snaju- Lag toh kuch aise hi raha hai...
Sumanji enters with the aarti thali.
Sumanji- Hayee nazar na lag jayee!! Aaj tumhare mooh se saaf saaf english sunke man prasann ho gaya!!
Chitra- OMG!!! Ek kaam karte hain Faizi special shake dedein bala ko?
"Soya sauce, Mayonnaise, Raw eggs, Mashed potato, Three green chilies, 4 big spoons of Red Mirchi, Karela and Pumpkin, and at last Milk. I have mixed all this and made a shake!!" - Dilbagh ji. TD SERIES PART 2.
Bala- Nahiiii, I can drink poison but not that shake!! Definetly not!!
Premji- Phirse sahi english boli!! Ab toh pakka zaroorat hai!!
Faizi- Main handy mein carry karta hoon.
He takes out a bottle and forcefully makes Bala drink it.
Bala- What doing is by you Faizi sirji!!!!???! This shake is doing disgusting in taste my mouth!!
Karan- Haan, ab thik huya yeh!! Kuch nahi Bala, tujhe bas thoda se pagal pan ka daura padha tha ab tu thik ho gaya hai! Ab tu bas mera 50k phone ke repair ke liye paise bharega!!
Bala- Arrey nahi nahi bhaiji!! Itne paison ki baat abhi mat karo!! Per month ki salary h 50k hai meri!!
At 7pm
Faizi and Koel were standing face to face. They had to put the mala in each other's neck.
Faizi initiates but Karan and Sid pick up Koel on their shoulders.
Faizi- Matlab nikal gaya toh jaante nahi, guzar rahe hain aise jaise jaante nahi!!! HUM HAIN AAPKE PARAM MIRT, BHAI, BRO!!!
Karan- Abey chup!! Koel itni aasani se nahi milne wali tujhe!!
Sanju and Monami pick up Faizi on their shoulders. Faizi puts the mala.
Sid- Bhaiii!!! Dhakad ladkiyaannnn hai!!!
Karan- After all, choice kiski hain???
Koel- Bohot badiya kush hi apni tareef kar rahe ho!!
Soon the wedding rituals happen and they reach to Koezi's house.
In the ring game, this time
Faizi wins the first round
Koel wins the second round
Both find the ring together in the third round.
Karan- Chalo, yeh sahi hai! Tie ho gaya!
Monami- Hmm, warna meri aur Sid ki tarah suffer karna padhta!!
Sanju and Karan so a victory smirk.
Achanak se Faizi ko hichkiyan shuru ho jaati hain.
Karan- Yeh saari ex-gfs ke shraap aur baduaon (curses and bad wishes) ka nateeja hai.
Everyone laughs.
Faizi- Ab huh... hum huh... aur huh... Koel huh... apne huh... kamre huh... mein huh... jaye huh... bohot huh.... neend huh.... aa huh... rahi huh... hai huh....
Sid- Bro aap aise jigsaw puzzle main baat karoge toh kuch samajh nahi ayega!
Karan punches Faizi on his back.
Faizi- Aaaaahhhh Ammmmiiii!!! Arey gadhe!!! Kyun mara apne iss hathode jaise haath se??
Karan- Teri hichkiyan rokne ke liye, dekha rook gayi!!
Faizi- Urfh! hum keh rahe the ki hum apne kamre mein jayein, guests, darru aur bacchon ne migraine de rakha hai!!
Karan- Seriously!! Aaj toh tujhe chidhane ka bhi man nahi kar raha, bohot buri waali neend a rahi hai!!
Sid- Hmm, kab poora quota pura kareinge! Abhi bohot thak gaye. Good Night bros and sis!!
Soon everyone departs to their rooms.
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Chapter samapt.
Author ki energy aur time out.
Please suhagraat ka mat poonchna. Meine kisi bhi character ko suhagraat ki halat mein nahi chodha. Sab drained out hain 😂
Aur ab TD series ka ek epilogue ayega!
Romance and all apko meri doosri book mein hi milega. I don't want to add too much of romance in this book. This book should remain a comedy and fun series :) Though mein beech beech mein kuch cheezein add kar sakti hoon :)
Any ideas/requests for the next series?? OS/SS/TS any.
Please vote and Comment!!
Byee!!
AS_198 Signing off!!