⚠️TRIGGER WARNING⚠️
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When his lips touched my skin I felt it in my bones, it was the most magnificent feeling in the world. I've longed for him so much, I wanted to do much more than kissing. We haven't made love in the longest time, it's been strange. Before Hardin, before I even knew him , I hated sex so much. Of course it was probably because my first experience was against my will, I just hated the thought of sex so much. I thought the act was beautiful before what happened, when my mom and I had "the talk" she made the act seem like something so beautiful and special. I never understood what she meant until I met Hardin, until after that first night we had together. Until he held me in his hands with ease and caution, until he touched me like I was silky lace, like he was afraid to break me.
That night when we first made love will always be special, bet or not. Wether it was all in my head.
That night was and will always be the best night of my entire life.
It wasn't just the sex, there's just something about that night. Yes the sex was amazing but it was more than that, it's the moment he placed my hands on his back. When he allowed me access to that part of him, or that moment right before he entered me and he placed his hands on my hips softly and guided himself in me. It was magnificent feeling.
But what I will always remember of that night is when he asked me, when he asked me if I wanted to have sex. He gave me a choice, which I know is the bare minimum but.......to me that was everything.
...
I walk past him and leave the room, it was just too much to be in the room with him. I pace around the living room, he walks out of the room and only now do I realize how good he looks.
"Tessa? Please tell me what's wrong?"
"It's nothing, I'm fine I promise."
"No you're not."
Shit.
"Look.........I don't wanna do this right now. Please, can we just go to dinner and try and have a normal time."
He takes a step towards me which causes me to take one back, I can see the hurt he feels when I step away.
"Tess how am I expected to have a good evening when you're upset and you won't tell me why, you can talk to me. You can trust me." He says with ease.
"I know I can, it's not a big deal Hardin. I'm fine."
I look at him and give him pleading eyes.
"Theresa it is a big deal to me, you're the most important thing in my life and I hate seeing you like this. Why can't you open up to me?"
"Hardin look............I promise I will tell you when I'm ready, it just hurts to much to talk about right now."
He sighs.
"Fine, whatever."
He walks past me and grabs his keys on the table.
"Hardin don't be mad." I says pleading.
"I'm not mad, I'm just tired of you keeping shit from me." He spits.
"I don't want to fight, I can't do this. I'll tell you when I'm ready."
I walk up to him but he turns his back to me.
"Hardin don't do this." I say in a stern voice.
He keeps his back to me.
"Hardin." I say softly.
I walk closer to him and place my hand on his back, I feel his tense muscles relax between my fingers. He slowly turns around and places my hands on his chest.
"Promise to tell me as soon as we get back home?" He says with pleading eyes that pierce my heart.
"Promise." I say.
He takes one of my hands in his and brings it to his lips before he places a kiss on the top, he quickly lets go and drops my hands.
"Let's go." He says.
I grab my coat from the closet and grab his leather jacket, I hand him his jacket.
"It's cold." I say.
He takes the jacket and slips it on before he opens the door and steps out, I put on my jacket before I grab my phone and close the door behind me and lock it. I hand him the keys.
...
Once in the car he turns on the heat thankfully, the car ride is silent again and I swear at this rate I might drown myself.
I clear my throat.
"So........so who's gonna be there?" I ask.
He sighs before he shifts in his seat and scoots closer to the window.
Great.
"Um, just Jane and Mike, Clifford and Becca." He says.
"Becca and Clifford? Who are they?"
He tenses his jaw like he's grinding his teeth.
"You don't have to tell me, I was just curious." I say softly.
"Becca and Clifford are Jane and Mikes real kids, they are about our age. They go to school at Yale and Brown and are visiting, Jane wanted to welcome them home with a nice fake family dinner."
I can tell how much the topic upsets him.
"I'm sorry, we don't have to go if you don't want to. We can do something else, just the two of us." I say sweetly.
"Like what? Sit around and ignore each other?" He snaps.
"That's not fair." I fire back.
"I'm sorry.................I don't know why I said that." He says quietly but apologetically.
"It's fine, it's just not fair for you to throw in my face that we haven't had sex in a while. I told you I wanted to take things slow and you said you were fine with that."
He scoffs.
"You think that's what I'm pissed about? Tessa I'm not a fucking pig, I'm not pissed because we haven't had sex in like a week. The fact you think that low of me hurts, we could not have sex for a month and I'd be fine. Of course I love when we make love but that's not what I base our relationship on, I'm pissed because you're hiding shit and you're distant. You're pushing me away and soon you'll be in Paris."
"Hardin.........that's not what I meant."
"Yes it is."
To be fair I did think he was upset because of the sex.
"I don't mean to be distant Hardin, I'm just having a hard time." I admit.
"I know, and you won't tell me why. That's the problem." He argues.
"We are not fighting before I meet your pa............Jane and Mike." I quickly stop myself.
He takes three deep breaths, each one deeper than the other.
"Tessa, we aren't fighting."
"It feels like we are." I whisper.
He stops the car on the side of the road and puts it in park.
"We aren't fighting, we are having a disagreement...........but we aren't fighting." He says sweetly.
I pick at my fingers.
"Can we just have a good time tonight, forget about all our problems and just have fun. I'm so tired Hardin.........I'm so exhausted."
I take a breath so I don't cry.
"These past four months with you have been the best moments of my life...........but there was so much pain and suffering and I'm so drained. All I want is to be happy and have fun..............so just give me tonight.........once we get back to the apartment you can scream and you can yell but I......."
"No..........no more screaming and yelling Theresa, I'm tired too. I don't wanna fight anymore." He says.
I looks at him with a shocked expression and see that he's looking at me the same way.
"So...........so what now?" I ask him.
He starts driving the car again.
"Let's have a fun time." He says.
"Ok." I say.
...
We leave the city and go upstate where there are houses and not many buildings, as we drive the houses get bigger and bigger. I feel out of place in front of all these mansions, each one is bigger than the last and I feel a bit nervous that I won't impress his parents......well his adoptive parents.
I was raised in a small town in a tiny house, and I love that........but I'm afraid that I'm not......well that I'm not enough for this life style. Hardin practically throws money away and I can only assume his parents.....Jane and Mike are the same.
I just hope they like me.
God I'm nervous.
...
Hardin pulls into a huge parking lot, there's two BMWs a Lexus and a Lamborghini.
Christ.
"And here we are, the house where no love exists." Hardin says under his breath.
He walks around and opens my door for me, I take his hand and me helps me out.
"Thanks."
"Course love."
Love, god he makes me weak when he calls me that.
He locks the car and we start walking up to the door, he looks at me.
"What is it?" He asks.
"Nothing I'm just.........nervous." I admit.
He stops walking and turns to face me, he places his hands and cups my face.
"They'll love you, what's not to love?"
I smile.
He takes my hand and leads me towards the door.
He knocks twice before the door quickly opens and a man wearing a suit approached us, he doesn't smile or even say a word. He simply opens the door and moves to the side.
Hardin and I walk in and he helps me take my jacket off before he takes his off and hands them to the man from before, he leads me through the house and I'm in aw the whole time. He leads me into a beautiful living room where all the furniture is white and there is a crystal chandelier, sitting on one of the couches is a man wearing khaki pants with a navy blue button up and a grey sweater vest along with navy loafers and a navy blazer. He has blond hair with a few strands of grey bleeding through here and there, he has on a pair of glasses and he has the newspaper in his hand.
"Jane, guess what?" He says.
"What?" A woman's voice calls from a separate room.
"The law firm we sued went bankrupt." He says joyfully.
"Really?" The woman calls again.
"Yeah." He says with a laugh.
Wow these people are awful.
Hardin clears his throat, the man on the couch looks up and a smile grown on his face. He folds the newspaper and puts it away before he stand up.
"Well I'll be damned, Jane get out here." He says.
"What is it?" The woman says while she walks into our room.
She's a beautiful brunette with brown eyes and tall cheekbones, she fairly skinny and very tall. She's wearing a pink dress and white heels, she looks me up and down before she smiles.
"Hardin! I didn't think you were coming." She says excitedly.
Hardin sighs.
"Yeah, well I'm full of surprises." He says underneath his breath.
The lady extends her hand towards me, I reach to shake it when I feel Hardin wrap his arms around my waist and pull me close. I awkwardly shake her hand.
"I'm Jane, you must be Tessa?"
I smile at her.
"Yes ma'am, it's great to meet you."
She smiles.
"Please, the pleasure is all mine. It's finally nice to meet the woman Hardin has been keeping secret."
I awkwardly smile.
Mike extends his hand and I shake his, I feel Hardin's arms wrap tighter.
"I'm Mike, lovely to meet you darling."
"Her name is Tessa, don't call her darling." Hardin snaps.
We all silently stare at one another.
It's only now that I realize everyone here has a faint English accent, Hardin's accent grew on me. I absolutely love it. I always found English accents so sexy and Hardin definitely knows that because I swear this man torments me sometimes with his voice.
The only difference is that Mike and Jane have a more elegant accent whereas Hardin's is more laid back.
I slowly pull away from his arms and smooth the fabric of my dress.
"Well, Becca and Clifford will be here soon. Why don't you all join me in the kitchen for appetizers." Jane adds.
"Ok." I say nervously.
Mike and Jane walk into the kitchen but I pull Hardin to the side.
"He was just being nice." I whisper.
"I don't care, he's not calling you that."
I close my eyes and sigh.
"Ok, I don't like that he called me that either but he didn't mean it in an inappropriate way. Can you just relax?" I plead.
He rolls his eyes.
"Fine, I'm so relaxed." He says sarcastically.
He tries to walk away but I grab his shoulder and he immediately stops.
"Don't do this here." I say.
He slowly turns to face me.
"Okay, I'm sorry."
He walks past me and enters the kitchen, I'm left in the living room alone. I rest my face in my hands and close my eyes.
I take a breath before I walk through the door and am greeted with a marble and gold kitchen that's bigger than our whole apartment.
"Wow." I say under my breath.
"What was that dear?" Jane asks.
"No nothing." I say with a giggle.
I look at the kitchen island and see trays filled with cheese and crackers and grapes.
"Please, help yourself." Mike says.
I smile before I grab a cracker and walk across the room to stand next to Hardin, he has his arms crossed and is leaning against the wall with that same dissatisfied look on his face that he always seems to have. I extend my hand for him and he looks at it for a second before he uncrosses his arms and takes my hand in his, I look at him and smile. His gaze softens as he looks at me, I raise the cracker to his lips and he chuckles before he leans in and eats it. I wipe the crumbs off my fingers before I look up and see that Jane and Mike are both smiling at us, I awkwardly smile and feel my cheeks flame up.
"How about some wine?" Jane offers.
"Oh, uh no thank you. I'm only 18, I don't really drink much anyways." I say sweetly.
Jane giggles.
"It appears Hardin has found himself an Angel, no wonder he's been so well behaved lately." Mike teases.
"Mike, don't push." Jane whispers.
She opens the bottle and pours two glasses and hands one to Mike.
"Well that's ok, would you like some Hardin?" She asks.
He looks at the bottle before he looks at me, he looks back at Jane.
"No, I'm driving." Is all he says.
She nods before she takes the other glass and takes a sip.
Suddenly the kitchen door bursts open.
"Mom! I'm home!" A girl yells excitedly.
"Becca!" Jane opens her arms and takes her daughter in her arms.
Becca pulls from her mother's arms and runs to her fathers before she looks at Hardin and I.
"Who are you?" She asks.
"Becca where are your manners, this is Tessa. Hardin's girlfriend." Jane says.
I smile at the purple haired girl wearing the short black dress and stiletto heels, she has freckles and blue eyes with a bold red lip. She looks me up and down before she looks away and grabs crackers from the counter.
Great, she already hates me.
"Didn't know Hardin had a girlfriend, how come we've never met you?" She asks me but doesn't make eye contact.
I get so nervous.
"Well we've just been busy." I respectfully add.
The purple haired girl laughs.
"Maybe he was just embarrassed of you." She says.
"Becca, don't be rude." Mike reprimands.
She rolls her eyes.
I look at the ground at my black heels and tights, I wanted to make a good impression so I wore a cream colored long sleeve dress with black tights and heels. Maybe I should have wore something nicer.
"You haven't met her because I'm embarrassed of you Becca." Hardin fires.
I look up and try to hide my smile, I didn't think he would say anything.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Becca sarcastically asks while she pours herself a glass of wine.
"Look at yourself, what's no to be embarrassed about." Hardin says under his breath.
"Well at least I'm not a whore Mr slept with a million people."
"Bitch!" Hardin yells.
"ENOUGH EVERYONE!" Jane yells.
We all go silent.
The door opens again and a guy wearing jeans and a white button up with loafers walks in, he has black hair and blue eyes. He's holding a bouquet of white roses. He looks around before he laughs.
"Looks like I missed the screaming battle." He chuckles.
"Clifford, so happy to see you son." Mike says.
He walks over to his mother and kisses her cheek, he hands her the flowers.
"Got these for you Mum." He says with a charming smile.
"Thank you honey." Jane says.
"Kiss ass." Becca mumbles.
She shoots Clifford a dirty look.
He hugs his father before he smiles at Hardin, he looks at me and extends his hand.
"I'm Clifford."
I shake his hand.
"I'm Tessa, pleasure to meet you."
"Trust me, the pleasure is all mine." He says.
Hardin squeezes my hand.
I quickly drop Cliffords hand.
"Want wine honey?" Jane asks.
"Sure, I'll have a glass."
Jane pours him a glass.
"Well, now that everyone is here we can finally eat. You can all go sit at the table, I'll bring the food out."
Mike, Clifford, Becca and Hardin all begin to walk towards the dinning room.
"Would you like some help Jane? I can carry something if you would like." I offer.
She smiles at me.
"That's so sweet of you Tessa, you're like the daughter I wish I had." She says sarcastically.
Becca shoots me a nasty look.
Great.
"Here, you can take the chicken."
She hands me a fancy dish with a whole chicken that smells amazing.
I walk to the table and see everyone sitting, I place the dish on the table. I look at Hardin and see he looks upset, I run my hand over his back and lean in and plant a kiss on his cheek. He looks up me with a hopeful gaze, I smile and scrunch my nose in hopes of cheering him up. He faintly smiles.
I walk out of the room and back into the kitchen, I grab the dish filled with corn and veggies. I'm about to leave the kitchen when Jane stops me.
"I just wanted to say thank you." She says sweetly.
"For what?"
She stops for a moment.
"For giving him a chance to love." She says before she walks into the dinning room.
I smile to myself before I walk into the dinning room and put the plate of vegetables down, I look up and see I'm the only one standing and everyone looks at me. Hardin stands and pushes my chair out for me, I smile at him before I sit and he pushes it in for me.
"Thanks babe." I say.
He sits next to me.
"We'll enjoy everyone."
Everyone starts serving themselves, I'm not very hungry but I don't wanna be rude so I take some chicken and mash potatoes.
...
Everyone eats and small talk between Clifford and Mike fills the table.
"You ok?" I whisper to Hardin.
He looks up from his plate but doesn't say anything, I know he's hurting.
I reach under the table and take his hand, I place it on my thigh and rest my hand on top of his. We interlock our fingers while he gently grazes his thumb over my inner thigh, he smiles.
"So Tessa, tell me about yourself. Where are you from? Your American accent is adorable." Jane says.
"Oh, thank you. Well I was born is Pennsylvania, that's where my family is. My birthday is in a few days, and I'm a psychology major at NYU but I might switch. Hardin and I met in school and we have an apartment together."
"Wow, psychology. Impressive." Mike says.
Little does he know I wanna transfer to fashion and art, great.
"And how long have you and Hardin been together?" Clifford asks.
I look at him.
"Almost five months." Hardin says.
I feel him squeeze my thigh.
"Wow, surprised you lasted that long." Becca says.
"Becca, don't." Jane says.
"What? I'm just saying what we are all thinking, none of you even believed Tessa was real." She snarks.
I look down at my plate and try not to let her words get to me.
"Becca just because you are unhappy doesn't mean you have to project that on everyone." Hardin says calmly.
"Unhappy? My life is fucking amazing, I'm young hot and rich. Which is a lot more than Miss born and raised in nowhere Pennsylvania, her parents are probably farmers and make minimum wage while shoveling shit for a living while they live in some tiny house. The dress she's wearing isnt even designer and the only reason she got into NYU is probably because she got help from the government because she's so poor. She had to settle for Hardin who is probably the most unfaithful boyfriend in the world because no one else would want her, she's desperate for attention so she settled for Hardin. He'll dump her in a week anyway. She's not good enough to be part of this family, not to mention Hardin is adopted so he's not really part of this family either." Becca cockily says.
"BECCA!" Jane yells.
I put my napkin down.
"Tessa I'm so sorry." Jane says apologetically.
"Look, I don't know who you think you are but you sure as hell don't know who I am. No my dress isn't designer, because I spend my money on important thinks like rent and bills which is something you'll never understand because you live off mommy and daddy. Well I earned everything I have in life, and I got into NYU because I'm an honors student who worked her ass off and raised money. And so what if I got government help, I rather work to get into a school and know that I earned my spot instead of letting my parents buy my way in. And yeah I'm from a little town in Pennsylvania and I'm definitely not rich but I like it that way, and my parents loved and nurtured me and gave me an amazing life. My mom owns her own bakery in town and my father is a Mechanic, and we have a beautiful house. And the amount of money they make doesn't matter because they are good people, and I didn't settle for Hardin. I'm so madly and deeply in love with him and he loves me and that's all that matters, and I'm so happy he isn't like you. He's humble and sweet and I wish he wouldn't have "hide" me from you because you have a nasty personality and im so happy to put you in your place. So you can go back to living your luxurious fake life, but sooner or later you'll realize that you are all alone and that money can't buy you happiness."
I stand up from the table and begin to walk away, I stop and turn around.
"And your Prada handbag is a knock off, the P is backwards."
She looks at her bag before her mouth falls open.
Hardin stands up and walks up to me.
"I love Tessa...........and she'll always be the only family I have." He says.
Jane stand from the table.
"You don't have to leave." She says.
"I do, I don't feel comfortable here." I admit.
Hardin reaches for my hand and I look up at him.
I mouth the word home and he nods his head.
"Please, we haven't had dessert." Mike adds.
"Fuck off Mike." Hardin says.
He leads me out of the kitchen into the living room.
"Tess I'm sorry, I didn't think that they would act like this to you." Hardin says frantically.
"I just wanna go home, please just take me home." I beg.
We walk towards the door and Hardin grabs our jackets from the closet while I run out the door, it's snowing when I get outside. I quickly open the car door and get inside, he gets in and locks the doors before we both sit here in silence.
"I'm sorry." He says with this pain in his voice.
I pick at my fingers.
"Can we just go home." I plead.
He doesn't say another word, he starts the car and drives away.