Danny and I close up the diner late at night. He's impatient as we do it because he has a date tonight.
"Come on, I want to go on my date," he rushes me as I wipe all the tables.
"Have you cleaned the counters, yet?" i point out to show I'm not the only one holding us up.
"No," he pouts, "I'm just excited. You know, I have a good feeling about John." he says as he walks into the kitchen.
"You said that about that girl named Sandy like two weeks ago," I shake my head, "And I'm pretty sure there was someone before that too."
"Shut up," he says, "I feel the chemistry over text, and if that transfers irl, then we're golden. I will have my husband."
I laugh. "Okay, Danny, whatever you say."
We finish up. We start to walk out the door when I remember I left my jacket inside.
"You go on ahead of me. I have to grab my jacket," I say.
"You sure? It's kind of late at night. I don't want you to be alone," he looks concerned.
"Postive. I parked right there anyways." I point to my car parked right by the entrance. "Go have fun with John."
He smiles. "Okay, text me when you get to your car, and then when you get home too."
"Will do, goodnight." I call back as I walk back inside, "Have fun tonight, but not too much fun."
"I will have just the right amount, thank you very much." He says sarcastically, "Night, y/n."
I grab my jacket from the back. I see him pull out of the parking lot as I lock the door.
I turn around to see someone sitting on the curb by my car.
My heart drops a little bit. I recognize that shadow anywhere. I remember all the time from a different curb many months ago.
What is he doing here?
A surge of anger swells inside of me. The last time I saw him was in the diner, but I can't get the night on the curb out of my head.
He left me. He left me after I lost my best friend. He left me for a problem we could've solved together. It didn't have to be that way, but he chose it to be.
And just for that I'm not very happy with him.
He sees me standing there and stands up. He cautiously walks over to me slowly.
"What are you doing here, Nick?" I ask. My voice sounds tired.
"I'm not really sure, honestly," he stops walking, "I just got in my car and hoped you would be here."
I scoff, "And if I wasn't?"
He shrugs. "I guess it wouldn't have been meant to be."
I shake my head. "That's ridiculous," I mutter.
"Just give me a chance, y/n," he says, taking a couple steps forward. The street lights are the only things illuminating our faces. His looks genuine.
I stare at him for a minute, really considering what to do. I could let him in, but it might not be the best decision for me.
I've worked so hard to try and get my life back to normal. I really don't want to destroy that progress that I've made.
He takes my silence as an opportunity to explain himself. "Breaking up with you is one of the biggest regrets in my entire life, y/n. Please, just give me a second chance. We can start over, just like you suggested, and try again."
I swallow once, not being able to find words. He wants me back, but I don't want to go back down that road if it's just going to end up the exact same way.
We're quiet for a long time. Me not being able to find words, and him waiting patiently for me to talk.
When he broke up with me, he had some good points.
Clay finding out about our secret relationship was neither of our faults, but it really shouldn't have been a secret for as long as it was. Why did we feel the need to keep it a secret for so long?
Maybe we didn't tell him sooner because we knew it wouldn't have worked once Clay found out. Or maybe we were scared of what would've happened if he did find out, but he knows now.
Maybe our whole relationship was just too good to be true.
Nick breaks the silence surrounding us. "I never got the chance to say I love you," he whispers.
The chaos circling throughout my mind comes to a complete stop.
"Maybe that was for the best," I say with no emotion.
He looks hurt, but I can't care about that. As long as Clay and I aren't friends, and he doesn't approve, then I don't want to fall into the same rabbit hole. I can't fall into the rabbit hole again.
Not that Clay's opinion matters anymore. It just feels wrong to date Nick if Clay and i haven't made up yet.
I start to walk to my car.
"No, please, can we talk about this?" Nick asks. He sounds as if he's begging. "You can yell at me. Scream. Just please say something more than just that."
My hand hovers over the door handle. I take a deep breath.
If I'm ever going to say something, then it has to be now. All those bottled up emotions that I kept in for months.
This is my chance to say them.
I turn around to face him. "You know what? You fucking hurt me when you broke up with me. You ripped out my heart and stomped on it. I just feel like I was trying to find reason, and I wanted to make the situation better, but the only option you could find was breaking up."
He stays quiet, letting me yell at him just like he asked.
"And I was broken for weeks, Nick. I was hurting and falling apart for so long before I finally started to move on. I cried over a bag of chips for days on end. I was so broken, and a large reason for that was you." I try to avoid the tears that are streaming down my face. Hopefully it's dark enough that he can't see them.
"You can't just come back after all those months and tell me you love me, okay?" I say, "You didn't call. You didn't text. Nothing. So don't expect me to jump on the idea of getting back together."
"I know, y/n. I just-" he begins.
"No," I cut him off, "You wanted me to speak my mind? This is me doing it, so let me finish." I take another deep breath, this time my voice is softer when I speak, "I've finally made progress, and I don't want to drop this life that I've built to go back to the way it was."
He's quiet. He's processing all my thoughts. I let him. Those were months and months of build up, so I don't expect him to respond right away.
"I'm so sorry," he says after a while, "I know I put you through a lot. And I know you're not ready to go back to me after what I did to you, but I want you to know that I'll wait. I know my feelings for you, and I'm positive of them, even after all this time. Just, if you'll ever give me another chance, then please give me one."
My heart flutters as he says this. He wants to give me time?
I shake the feeling. I can't just go back because of one apology.
If I go back, then I have to be sure of my feelings completely.
"I will," I say quietly, "I'm gonna go now, though. Goodnight, Nick."
He gives me a half smile, "Night, y/n."
I drive away from the diner wondering all the what ifs.
What if we get back together? What if Clay still hates us for it? What if I really don't care what Clay thinks?
What if Nick really does love me?
What if...
What if..
What if?
All these questions, but absolutely no answers.
.author's note.
i'm ngl i almost didn't write this chapter this way, but i think it's the best for character growth and development
just like how y/n was saying, i've made her work so hard to start moving on, so why would i let her throw all that away after one conversation? i just think the path i'm having her take now is A LOT better than the original path.. but please don't get mad for how i made it happen.. this would be a good response for a real life situation. i don't think she's being stupid or mean.. i just think she's genuinely trying to do what's best
with all that being said, tomorrow is going to be a great chapter so please stay tuned!!
sorry for the rant haha! have a great day :))
.word count.. 1448