August 20th was creeping up on me. I couldn't be happier about finally getting to go to the college of my dreams, but knowing I would have to say goodbye to my friends and boyfriend was like a dark cloud over my head.
Things had calmed down a bit the past month. I was being civil, but short with my mom. As for my dad, we didn't say a word to each other. Things were tense to say the least. But that's to be expected when the family skeleton is finally out of the closet.
Darren on the other hand had been wonderful. He tried to make every day count, even when he wasn't feeling one hundred percent. He took me on dates every few days. Movies, dinners out, getting take out and staying in, a day at the beach. He was really trying, and I appreciated it. It was making my summer enjoyable, and distracting me from the family drama.
Avery, Daniela, and Kade were also being amazing as usual. We made sure to hang out often since we knew the clock was ticking. I have no doubt in my mind that we'll still be best friends though. We have a group chat and we'll call frequently. Of course once I'm settled in Cali I'll make new friends and hopefully have a group of people I trust, but nothing can change or take away from the childhood friends I have here.
As for my biological dad and half sister, Faye, we talked here and there. It was still awkward, but I decided to make arrangements with him as soon as I got there. I told him I wouldn't need to live in the beach house full time since I was looking forward to living on campus, but that it'd be nice to stay there on the weekends or when I wanted to get away for a bit. He said he was more than happy to have me stay there whenever I please. "It's just sitting there anyways!" He said.
Faye was...being Faye. She seemed to handle all of this better than me, but perhaps that's because she already knew most the story. Besides the part about me existing. I could tell it was a hard pill to swallow for her, but we were having fun texting and getting to know each other. So far, we didn't have too much in common, but every once and awhile we'd bond over liking the same song, or over boy stories from our past. She once dated a SoundCloud rapper, which there are many of in California, trying to make their big break. She said it was a disaster, and she had to finally dump him. He made a mixtape about her (and a bad once at that) shortly after. I laughed and she cringed looking back, wondering why she ever liked him in the first place. She was now talking to this guy who also went to UCLA. He was the kind of guy that knew a bunch of bands no ones ever heard of and constantly quoted literature since he's an english major. She thought it was cute, but he sounds pretty pretentious to me. But I think someone like that might be good for her, and judging by the photo she sent, he was pretty cute!
While I was busy filling out more paper work for college, Darren came in my room. His birthday was in October, so he wouldn't be living here too much longer. Honestly though, he hung out at his cabin most of the time anyways, so he wasn't too much of an addition to the household. Jamie and him were getting closer though, which I loved. It was nice to know my boyfriend and sister got along.
"Knock knock." He said knocking on my open door smiling like a dork.
"Hey, " I smiled. "I'm just finishing up some things."
"You want to be alone?"
"No! Come in. I like your company."
"Okay." He smiled flopping onto my bed. "I know you've been pretty stressed lately. So if there's anything I can do to help, just let me know."
"I'm not stressed! What makes you say that?"
"Arabella. Come on," He gave me a knowing look. "You can't lie to me."
"I know." I sighed. "I'm just trying not to get so overwhelmed by everything. I usually know exactly how to handle things and keep my emotions out of it, but it's been so hard lately."
"I understand. It's okay to let yourself feel though."
"I know. I just don't like it." I frowned.
"It'll be okay. You're one of the strongest people I know. Once you get to California you'll adjust. I thin kit's the anticipation of everything making you nervous and the fact that you're leaving the only place you've ever known. Not only that, but you're going o meet your biological dad AND sister that you just found out about. That's a lot for anyone."
"Wow, my life is a shit show isn't it." I laughed.
"Hey, it's not all bad though. You have your friends, an amazing college to go to...a really cool, hot, super intelligent boyfriend." He winked.
"Flattering yourself?" I smiled.
"Just speaking the truth!"
"Come here," I got up from my chair and sat on his lap. "Thanks for making me feel better. You're right. I just lose sight of the bright side sometimes."
"I'll always be here to remind you." He placed a kiss on my forehead.
"Ugh, I can't believe I won't be here for your birthday."
"You existing is literally enough of a gift Arabella. I've spent the last few birthdays alone anyways, and now I'm not so lonely, so it won't be so bad."
"Promise me you'll try to make some friends at school. I hate the thought of you being alone."
"'I'll make the effort, but you know more than anyone I'm not exactly the most...approachable person." He laughed. "Besides, I like being alone most of the time. It's just easier."
"Yeah..but just try. It would put my mind at ease. And you deserve to enjoy your senior year. I don't want you to miss out on anything."
"Okay mom." He joked, nudging my side with his elbow. ""Finish what you're working on. I'll go grab that book I've halfway through."
Darren loved reading. I hadn't realized how much until he moved in and we had more downtime together. He loved mysteries, classics, fiction, and fantasy. It was one thing he felt really grounded him when his mind seemed loud. He could focus on the words on the pages, imagine the characters, and the act of feeling and turning the pages brought him comfort. I completely understand where he's coming from. If I hadn't spent so much time reading study material, I'd use that time for casual reading. I never seemed to have the time. Sometimes I'd rather just relax and watch a movie.
He came back into my room with The Catcher and the Rye in his hand. He sat on my beanbag and anxiously opened the book to where he left off, tossing his bookmark to the side. His bookmark was a photo strip of us, the kind you get at photo booths at the mall. He stomach fluttered. How sweet.
A few hours later I began surfing the web for back to school clothes. Darren was still reading, of course. My phone vibrated signaling a call. It was Daniela!
"Hey!"
"Hey bestie! So. Are we having a going away party for you or what?"
"Aw, we don't have to do that-"
"Yes we do! This is a big deal. Technically it's not just for you, it's for all of us! It's the last time all of us can really get together before fall."
"You're right. A party is actually just what I need right now."
"YES! So where should we have it? What about your boyfriend's place! That way we have the space to ourselves without our parents looming around. Plus we could get booze!"
"Hmm, I'll have to ask him. Not a bad idea though." Darren look up at me suspiciously.
"Awesome! Let me know what he says. If not, I'm sure Avery's place will be fine. His mom's pretty chill."
"Yeah, I love that women." I smiled.
"Me too! I'll text you later. Bye sis."
I hung up and gave Darren puppy eyes.
"Oh god, what?"
I skipped over to him and ran my hands though his hair. "What do you think about hosting a party?"
"A party?" He furrowed his brows.
"Yeah...at your cabin!" I smiled.
"Arabella, do I look like the party hosting type?"
"Maybe? You never know until you try!"
"I don't know...All those people...all up in my space with all my stuff."
"It wouldn't be like a party party. It would just be Kade, Avery, Daniela, me, and you! And alcohol included." I winked.
"Hmm...I'll think about it, okay?"
"It's not a no; I'll take it."
"If I'm being honest though, I still feel there's a lot of friction between Avery and I, Bells."
"Oh, really?" I asked in surprise.
"I mean yeah, after that argument we had, things have always felt a bit tense."
"I understand. I think he's over it though. He never says anything bad about you. He's happy for us."
"Maybe on the outside, but I can tell he doesn't like me. We kissed and fell for the same girl; it's only natural."
"I-" I stopped in my tracks and tried to think of what to say. He was right. It was only natural there would be friction between them, and I couldn't blame them for how they may feel. They never talked about it but I guess they never wanted to put me in an uncomfortable situation. "I'm sorry that it's even a thing. I just want you to know you've always been the one for me, and I genuinely only see Avery as a friend. Always have."
"And I believe you, but it's not you. It's him. I just feel he doesn't respect boundaries, and you're so close with him that you don't realize it. Like when you spent the night at his house... I know nothing happened. But I imagine most guys wouldn't be cool with their girlfriend doing that."
"Baby, why are you just now telling me all this?" I asked with concern. "I had no idea you felt this way. I mean, I knew you didn't like it, but I didn't know it was bothering you this much."
"I just didn't want to make it a thing or come off as a jealous boyfriend. I didn't need to add that to the list of reasons I'm difficult to be with. Plus, I know soon it'll be a non-issue since you're moving."
"Darren, you can always be honest with me about how you're feeling. Your feelings are completely valid, and I'm sorry I wasn't being attentive to how this has made you feel. I haven't had a real boyfriend...really ever. So this is all a bit new to me, but I hear you and I understand. I'm sorry."
"It's okay. It's all new to me too." He sighed, "I feel better getting this off my chest."
"Good." I smiled.
"By the way though, if you had more than three friends the party would be a 100% no."
"I keep my circle small. Just how I like it." I smiled. "It would be a fun way to end the summer."
"Like I said, I'll think about it." He smirked.
"Thanks, love." I gave him a kiss. 6 months ago he would've never thought about having a party, let alone going to the party. I can't count prom either, since he stormed out. We'd had a rough year. Nonetheless, I could tell he was really trying for me and stepping outside of his comfort zone. I could tell it was making him happier too. I had a flashback to finding the photo album in his bathroom. I wasn't his first girlfriend, and he definetely had a group of friends. I still hadn't brought it up or asked because I didn't want to pry on his past. I knew he'd tell me things on his own time. I learned the hard way not to nag him about such things.
"I love you, Bella."
"Love you too."
I was so lucky. There's truly nothing like the feeling of being in love. I wish there was a scientific word for it. But I couldn't think of one. It was a magical feeling that I didn't think I'd feel for years, or ever for that matter. But I did feel a wash of guilt over me. I should've known better when it came to Darren's feelings about Avery. Seeing them argue that one time was heartbreaking for me, and it brought out a ugly side of both of them. I do believe we're at a point now where Avery is over me, and accepts and appreciates that we'll always be friends. I know Darren will be able to get past it as well. It's not like we ever even actually dated. I know if the roles were reversed though, I'd feel the same way as him.
I decided to go to the local cafe by myself. I took a journal with me and began writing whatever came into my mind. I rarely did this, but I figured I should get used to being on my own in little ways like this. It was exciting to think about myself in a new city with new people to meet. Yes, my new found family would be there, but they were a drive away, I would be on campus alone. I had emailed some guidance councilors from the school though and they were eager to answer all my questions to lessen any anxieties I had.
The barista, Jared came up to me. "You want your usual?"
"Yes, with extra cold foam this time" I smiled.
"You got it." He chirped. I loved when you went somewhere so often, they began to remember you and your order. It's a cozy feeling. I'd find another coffee shop to spend my time at. Maybe there's one on campus. They'll get to know me too.
My phone vibrated.
Darren <3 :I thought about it - party at my cabin
Me: for real?!
Darren <3: yes haha i want to make you happy
Me: i'll organize everything and let them know. thank you baby
Darren <3: of course.
Yes!! I honestly didn't think he'd be down for it, but as usual, Darren always surprised me. I never know what to expect from him...and I liked that. I texted Daniela to let her know and she told me she'd send out a group text. Since the cabin didn't exactly have an address, I told her to just have everyone meet at my place. She also mentioned Kade's older brother would buy our alcohol. I wasn't going to get plastered, that's for sure. I learned my lesson the hard way at Xavier's party. However, there's nothing wrong with a few celebratory drinks. We decided on having the party a week from now, a couple days before I would be leaving.
"Here you go. Enjoy!" Jared said as he placed down my iced cold brew.
"Thanks." I took a big sip, leaving cold foam on my top lip. He chuckled and walked away. How embarrassing.
"What are you doing sitting alone?" Avery asked. He had just walked in.
"I could ask you the same!"
"I was really craving a muffin." He shrugged as he sat down next to me.
"I thought it might be nice to just spend some time alone here. I'm going to be alone at college, so I thought I'd get a taste of it."
"Arabella, you're already super independent. You'll be fine. You'll thrive in that environment."
"Thanks, I guess I am in some ways. Just not in the literal ways. I'm always with y'all or at home with my family. It's just weird to think about it. But it's normal I suppose."
"Yeah, totally. Don't sweat it. I'll leave you, then. I was going to get my muffin to go anyways."
"Nice. Oh! Did you get Dani's text about the party?" I asked before he got up.
"Yeah, I did. I'll...be there."
"Why the hesitation?"
"We could've had it at my place, Doo. My mom would've loved to host it." He said with disappointment.
"Oh, Daniela thought of having it at the cabin. It's a super cool place. Plus we can have the entire place to ourselves and drink in peace. We are underage after all, remember?" I laughed.
"Yeah, I get it." He sighed. I knew what this was about.
"Look, Avery. I know there's some tension between you two. But it's in the past. I know he's ready to move past it too. He's my boyfriend after all. It would mean a lot to me if you'd out it behind you. You're one of my best friends. I like the idea of all of us hanging out."
"I know, I know. It's childish. I'm happy for you, really. Sometimes I just get the feeling he really doesn't like me. He seems so cold."
"Put yourself in his shoes. He knows how close we are and he knows you're not a threat and that you're special to me, so he has to be okay with our history and friendship. And we are really close. Maybe too close sometimes. That hasn't been the easiest thing for him, but he tries his best. I just need you to try your best too. It's a short amount of time anyways."
"You're right. I hate that you're always right." He sighed.
"Thanks. I'll see you around, okay?"
"Okay." He smiled.
I was glad we bumped into each other. As hard as the conversation was (with Darren and Avery) it had to happen. I had a peace of mind knowing they'd bury whatever negative feelings they had towards each other because they both knew it wouldn't do any good. Now I was even more excited for our going-away get together!
A/N: omg how long has it been? A year? I felt so much peace and nostalgic coming back to this story. I re read the entire thing to refresh my own memory and WOW there's so many flaws. I try to remember I was really young when I began writing and rarely double checked my work. Every now and then I'll go back and fix up some mistakes I left. Thanks for reading as always. More chapters to come and possibly an ending coming soon. Have a lovely morning/evening/night.