November 3, 2020
Hoseok's POV
Knowing I was going to see her today brought up a lot of unwanted memories. The last time I saw her I had her in my arms and I felt like a god. I enjoyed making her mine every time I wanted and watching her go crazy for me was the best moments of my life. I couldn't keep my hands away from her not even when we were at work. I have always controlled every single thing in my life. Even the smallest details, but being around her threw all that out the window. Having her close made it very difficult to control myself. Sometimes I questioned myself on what was happening to me but I couldn't come up with an answer. I just craved her body, her smell, her touch every time I would see her. So many times I tried to act like she didn't bother me and I knew it gave her mixed signals but I just didn't know what to do or how to handle that overwhelming feeling.
Unfortunately the last time we talked all that ended. She ended it. Every time I remember that call anger fills my blood. I didn't think we would last forever but I was hoping I could get my fill of her until it eventually had to end. I knew from the beginning she was not the girl for me. She is not fit for this life and I can't give her anything else. At this point of my career I cant just think about her. I have a lot of people counting on my decisions and I cant let them down. She wants a normal life and that would never be me. I see my hyungs and their girls and I know they try really hard to give them a life as normal as possible, but when you have to hide the family you are slowly building normal is not the right word. I could never ask her to hide for me. I could never ask her to stay for me. But knowing I would never have her again pissed me off. I was not mad at her even though I know thats how it looked. I was mad at myself for falling that hard over her knowing this shit would not last. Thats why when she called and told me we needed to break this up I didn't argue and barely spoke. I held my tongue in lieu of just screaming in to the phone "don't you fucking leave me".
Work has kept me busy with recording and writing and I haven't allowed myself to think about her. I blocked all feelings of desire for her. All this time it has worked but since Jimin gave me the news today I haven't been able to get her out of my mind. Instead of worrying about my big brother having surgery I thought about how good it would feel to kiss her again. I remembered her smell, the feel of her skin, the softness of her hair. I spent most of the day in a zombie state only replaying the same image in my mind again and again. How good she looked under me.
I was in the hospital with Yoongi and Ara since the very beginning. The hospital only allowed two people to stay with him before he headed to surgery and I volunteered to go with Ara. The other guys joined us as soon as Yoongi was out of surgery and their girls joined us. We were all worried but seeing him as soon as he came out was a big relief. Once we were in the room we were all able to relax. Less than 30 minutes after the guys arrived I heard the door open again and I instantly knew who it was. I was determined to not look up from my phone but something in me made me look up. Initially I was in shock of actually having her in front of me but after that passed I was able to really look at her. For some reason she looked smaller than the last time I saw her. On top of that she didn't seem to be herself. I tried to look back down at my phone and ignore her as much as possible but when Jimin pointed out that her face was bruised I felt my head jolt up. I scanned her face and as soon as I noticed the big bruise I almost punched the wall behind me. My hand took a life of its own and I tighten my grip on my innocent phone. In that moment I could have broken it in one move. All that anger intensified when Ara mentioned Kang's name. He had hit her accidentally with a ball and all I could think was, of course she had been with Kang. She probably sees him everyday and they spend all their time together. I wanted to get up and walk away but I couldn't. I had to stay and pretend I didn't care. I had to pretend that knowing she had been with Kang didn't bother me. That thinking she is his already didn't boil my blood.
Unsurprisingly she made up an excuse to leave as soon as she arrived. The girls all seemed disappointed and for some reason Ara was livid. She seemed to be mad about something but after Sun left she didn't say anything else. I didn't think about it any further and just dismissed it as Ara being stressed and worried for her friend's injury on top of her boyfriends surgery. Once Yoongi was awake we all decided to give him some space and most of us came back to the shared apartment. Ara stayed with Yoongi while Namjoon, Ella, Jin and Min went back to their apartments. Tae, Jimin Jungkook and I decided to stay in town to be close to the hospital.
Now that the sun is almost down I am wishing that it would take what happened today with it. I have been in my room since we arrived and my bed has become my solace. The same bed where I fucked her several times. Where I made her all mine. Lying here starting at the wall has made my mind go to different places. I honestly don't want to be around the others right now knowing I can't be my usual cheerful self with the way that I feel. I was not expecting to react this way after seeing her. It seems she had a stronger hold on me than I thought.
"Hyung" I hear from behind me and I turn around to find a very angry Jimin sitting in his bed across from me. I grunt in response and when Jimin is about to say something else I watch as Jungkook, Tae, Jin and Namjoon enter our room. They all match Jimin's face and it has been a long time since I have seen them all this upset. Is this an intervention? Have they noticed my pissy mood lately? I know I haven't been myself since Sun. My fuse has become shorter and uncontrollable.
"Did you tell him?" Namjoon asks blocking Jimin from continuing.
"Whats going on" I say fixing myself so I am sitting on the bed and facing my brothers.
"No I was waiting for you, I'm so pissed off I cant even form correct sentences" Jimin gets up abruptly and walks off to one side of the room. I take turns looking at all my brothers and what ever it is has to be huge for them to look this way.
"Is Yoongi ok?" is the next thing that comes to mind and I ask the question not wanting the answer.
"Yes Yoongi is fine, I actually just spoke to him and thats why we are here" Namjoon explains and I stay quiet hoping he will continue. "When Ella and I made it home I noticed she was a mess. I sat her down and asked her what had her pacing the apartment and she broke down and told me someone had beaten up her friend" for a second I go numb and only hear half of what Namjoon is saying. All I can picture is Sun's bruised face and rage and anger begins to fill me again. "She told me how horrified she was to see bruises on Sun's arms and the hand print on her face"
"What?" is all I can say. I look down to the floor finding the strength to continue listening to this conversation. I want to believe I heard him wrong but I am not that lucky.
"I called Yoongi right away and he asked Ara and she confirmed the bruises and she even told him who did it" Namjoon continues and for a moment I wish he would not speak anymore because I feel like punching someone.
"I had the same conversation with Min and she seemed very concerned and worried for Sun. I called Namjoon and thats when we decided to come and tell you guys." Jin says standing next to Namjoon and placing an arm on his shoulder almost leaning on Namjoon.
"Yeah for some reason Yoongi insisted I tell you specifically. He said to call him before you do anything" Namjoon's words are that of warning but there is nothing he can say to stop me now. I want to go see her right now. I want to see those bruises for myself. I want as much physical proof as possible before I kill a man. Because who ever did this is dead before the day ends. "Please call him" Namjoon hands me his phone and I look up at him. I know Namjoon is strong and fearless but I can still see him back away when our eyes meet. He knows this is not meant for him but the way I feel right now I don't care who is in front of me. Once some time passes I realize that I need to calm down before I scare them all away and I take the phone with a small vow of apology. I dial Yoongi's number and the phone only rings once before I hear his voice.
"Hyung" I say not knowing what else to say.
"Hoba dont do anything stupid please" Yoongi pleads on the other line.
"Who is it?" Is the only thing that matters to me right now.
"I know what you are thinking and that wont solve anything"
"Name" I say into the phone determined to end this call with a name. I hear Yoongi take a deep defeated breath and while I wait for an answer I look at the guys and they all seem concern about me. I am pretty sure they are wondering why I am acting this way but right now it doesn't matter. I can make up lies later.
"Her friend Kang" Yoongi finally says what I have been waiting for and I get up hating the bed I am sitting in. I hate everything around me and I wish I was in front of Kang so I can empty all this rage on his face. I put the phone on speaker ready to scream out my plan but before I can say anything Yoongi speaks again.
"Hoba it gets worse" he says and all I can think is, how can this be worse? I regret that question immediately when he continues. "I didn't tell Namjoon this but he also tried to force himself on her. Thats why he slapped her because she fought back" thats it my mind goes blank and I don't feel my legs move to leave the room but I am stopped by the guys who all get in my way.
"I am going to fucking kill him" I am blinded by my rage and anyone in my way needs to move aside before I start pushing my way out.
"No you are not" Namjoon says standing directly in front of me. I know he is trying to avoid me making a life ruining mistake but I don't fucking care. I wont stop until I see his blood on my hands. My fist print on his stupid face.
"You need to calm down and think about this" Jin says standing next to Namjoon trying to block me in.
"Yes Hyung calm down" Tae pleads along with Jimin who places his hand on my shoulder trying to hold me back or calm me down.
"Hoba please you cant do this to me today"I hear Yoongi speak and his words start to calm me down. My brother is right I cant do this. He just came out of a long surgery and I should be worried about him not the other way around. I take a deep breath but my rage does not go away, it just hides behind my concern for my brother. I know its there and I can bring it up any time I want.
"OK" is all I say and I head back to take a seat on my bed. I need to go see Sun. I need to see her as soon as possible. I hang up with Yoongi telling him I wont do anything today and once he is satisfied with my words he lets me go. The others are still in my room and they stand in the same positions I left them. The room has become silent and my brothers all seem to be deep in thought and it makes me wonder what they are thinking. Maybe they are placing themselves in a similar situation. "What would they do if it was one of their girls?" They don't know my history with Sun but I know how much they have come to care for her. She earned all their respect and love in a short time and they probably think I feel the same. If they only knew.
"I will be right back" Jimin jumps up from being next to me and his action brings me out of my thoughts. I watch as he exchanges looks with Tae and JK who gesture in agreement with no words being exchanged. I continue watching as Jimin moves closer to Tae and JK and all 3 make their way out of the room.
"Where are you all going?" Namjoon asks stopping Jimin from going any further.
"We are going to find this Kang person and kill him" Jimin says and even though he is turned away from me I can feel his rage.
"Count me in" I hear Jin say and for a second this is almost comical. Less than a minute ago they were trying to talk me off the bridge and now they want to jump out of it"
"Are y'all crazy? Am I the only sane one here?" Namjoon exclaims and the others don't reply they all seem to share Jimin's idea. "Oh fuck, I am coming too. A Kpop group of just Yoongi and I would not make any sales." he chuckles and I know he is serious. I smile for a second proud of my brothers and how knowing that Sun is not their responsibility they still want to defend her honor. I have a reason for wanting to kill Kang but they don't. At least not as big as mine and knowing that they are risking their livelihood and families makes me extremely proud. I get up from my bed once again and just stare at all of them with thankful eyes before I speak.
"I will drive"
In less than an hour we are outside of Kang's newest hangout. Leaving the apartment as 6 members of BTS was not as difficult as I was expecting. We had to clear security and after Jin explained that we needed some time alone the bodyguards still hesitant gave us one of their Black SUVs. Thankfully the car was big enough to fit all of us and I drove like I promised. Driving gave me time to clear my mind and it also helped that Jimin set at front and would not let me go over the speed limit. On our way here Namjoon had called the leader and friend of Kang and he was able to talk his way into finding out where Kang likes to be at this hour. It seems the guy has had the same routine lately. As soon as work is over he will head to one of the many bars you can find in Itaewon. To Namjoon's surprise he got the name of the most common spot Kang likes to visit and he thought it was odd that his friend would give him away that easily without asking any questions. I really don't give a fuck how or why we got the information but I know it concerns Namjoon. Tae had the idea that maybe this Ji-hoon dude was upfront because of who we are or maybe he knows more than we think. Either way I don't care how we got the information. All I care about is seeing him come out of this door I am parked in front of.
"I know this is going on deaf ears but I have to say it" Namjoon speaks up breaking the silence. We have been sitting here for several minutes just staring at the only exit and entrance of this place. No words have been spoken between us since Namjoon hanged up with Ella and Min who had called to check up on us. I know how much it bother Namjoon to lie to Ella about where he is but he is doing it for a good reason. I know he doesnt want to worry his very pregnant girl. "We can turn around any time and just try to think about this tomorrow when our heads are cold"
"If anyone wants to go back home you can take the car but I am staying here until this motherfucker comes out" I say not looking at my brothers. I cant take my eyes of the entrance afraid that I will miss him. "I understand, this is not your fight"
"Its not yours either Hobi" Jimin says and I still focus my stare to whats beyond the side window.
"Yes it is" I say.
"We all feel like you Hoba, we all care for Sun and I don't know about the others but I'm not going anywhere" Tae speaks up.
"I agree with Tae, this is also my fight. No one messes with our girls" JK speaks and a hint of jealousy hits me hearing him include Sun as his girl.
"Yes even though she is not Min, Ara, Ella or Lily she is part of our lives" Tae says and you can hear the pain in his voice when he mentions Lily. We are always talking about the girls but we always forget that Lily is also part of that group. It hurts me to hear the nostalgia in his words as he talks about his girl who is so far away.
"Yeah she is like the little sister we all needed. She spoils Ella so much with her cooking and I know Yoongi is very thankful for her friendship with Ara and Mia. When she was Hobi's assistant she basically became ours too even though it was not her job. She was always so happy to help and her smile would always make you instantly happy in the mornings or in the many nights she stayed over after practice." Namjoon's reminiscing about those days takes my mind of the conversation and my head fills with images of her pretty face looking up at me. The way her eyes lit up every time I entered any room. The way they always were filled with wonder and magic. The way she closed those same eyes every time our lips touched.
With the image of her perfect, innocent, milky face in my mind I spot the monster who dare to ruin that. I watch as he opens the double doors and walks off to the side of the street across from us. I know I am not the only one to notice him when Jin speaks up and tells the others where to look. I hear then form a plan of how to approach him but I don't listen. I open my door and get out of the car without even turning back. I hear the others call me but I don't care to listen anymore. I have my target and I wont stop until he is in front of me. I walk toward the other side of the street and on my way there I notice Kang stumble. I hear as the guys get off the car behind me and they seem to have given up on stopping me. For a second I take my eyes off Kang and I look around to notice the street is completely empty which is rare for this part of town. I wonder how late it could be but I dont look at my phone. My gaze is back on Kang and I am almost inches from him. I stop and call his name and I watch as he stops when realization hits him. His back is to me but for some reason I feel like he knows who is calling him. I stand not taking anymore steps which gives the guys time to catch up to me. They stay silent behind me and I think they are also waiting for Kang to turn around and notice us. I don't know how long we stand there but it seems like an eternity.
Kang turns around and it seems like in the last seconds or so he has completely sobered up. His movements are no longer careless and unbalanced. Now they seem calculated and with purpose. His eyes wonder to all the members and once they hit me they widen with the realization that he was right. He knew I was coming. I watch as his mouth forms into a small grim and my blood boils.
"To what do I owe this honor of having you all here" Kang sarcastic words intensifies my feelings of wanting to punch him.
"Kang we are here to talk about what happened today" Namjoon says and his habit of always walking to the front of the group in a defensive mode never fails. Yoongi who usually backs him up is replaced by Jin and Tae.
"I don't know what you are talking about" Kang spits out his words in disgust and I close my fist trying to control my rage.
"What you did today is unacceptable and the only reason you not in jail is." Jimin speaks but Kang interrupts before he can continue.
"Didn't you hear me, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT" Kangs screams out his last words and I take my position to cover Jimin but JK and Tae get there first. They both stand creating a human shield between Jimin and Kang who smiles.
"Did I scare the little boy" Kang chuckles hysterically.
"We are not protecting him from you." JK speaks with a look of disgust.
"We are protecting you from the black belt Taekwondo little boy" Tae follows up with a smirk and I watch as Kangs smug stupid face falls for a second and I can see traces of real fear.
"Just leave me alone" Kang tries to turn around but Jimin breaks the human shield and steps forward and I follow. Jimin speaks again and Kang turns to him. We are inches from him and the closer I am the more I want to hit him.
"Sun deserves justice for what you did and tried to do. We are here to take you to the police station where you will pay for what you did" Jimin says looking straight into Kangs dark eyes and at this moment the shortest member has become the tallest just by his words. He stands 10 feet tall full of rage and disgust for what happened.
"Oh you are here for that whore" Kang says and I close my eyes trying to breath as both my fist close. What did he just say? Did he call her a whore? Did he call my innocent, precious woman a whore? "Is that why you are all here? Did she fuck all of you?" With those words I loose all control and before anyone can stop me my fist hits the side of his face and I watch as he falls to the ground like a disgusting rotten snake. I hear the others exclaim my name but I don't listen. I place my feet on each side of Kangs body and I take a handful of his hoodie in my fist and pull him up so our eyes meet again.
"Listen fucker. The only reason you are alive is because you are not sober and I don't do low blows. But once you are sober hit me up so we can really talk" I bend down so I am closer to his face. "You left your hand mark on her face and now I left my fist mark on yours. Just know that anything you do to her I will do to you but worse. Don't you fucking dare look for her. I will fucking kill you if I find out you are 100 feet from her."
"Hoba I think that's enough" Namjoon says and I feel Jimin grab my shoulder.
"Come on hyung let's go home" Jimin pulls me off Kang and I let go. Kang falls down to the floor again and I stare as he just lays there without speaking. We all turn around and head to the car and I do my best to not run back and beat Kang until he is in a pool of blood.
The ride back to the apartment is as quiet as before. The guys all seem to be in their own worlds and I know they just want to be in their own beds and put this moment behind them. Once we arrive to the building I watch as they all exit the car but I stay behind.
"Come on Hobi let's go to bed" Jimin says and the others turn around once they notice I am not following them.
"I need to get some air. I will go for a ride" I say.
"Hoba it's almost 3 in the morning. We should all go inside and put this day behind us" Namjoon says trying to convince me but it will not work.
"I promise I won't go back to that filth. I will just drive around until my head is clear" I lie.
"Ok but keep your promise. You will not go back looking for Kang" Namjoon makes me promise and I do and this time I don't lie. I will not go back to look for Kang. I gave my word I won't fight when he can't defend himself. Plus Kang is the furtherest thing from my mind right now. The only thing I can think about is seeing her.